


Truth or Dare Kisses and Music.

by aglasstofreedom



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Original Character(s), bi! alex alvarez
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2019-11-05 22:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 170,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17927567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aglasstofreedom/pseuds/aglasstofreedom
Summary: Of course one of the few times Alex is allowed to go to a party, he ends up with an identity crisis.





	1. Hotline Bling

It all started with Tyler.

Well maybe that's not the correct way of saying it.It didn't start when he met Tyler. they met when they were both twelve, well more like Finn introduced them, at the beginning it felt like they were more his friends than each other's friends. If you ask Alex, he'll say that they officially became friends when they were the first ones in their class to get braces. He remembers how self conscious he was about it until Tyler walked in stared at him and gave him this giant smile that showed his braces and said "You too, huh?".

Things were different back then (well, things were different an hour ago but nonetheless) even Tyler looked different.

Last year Tyler got a glow up, before that everyone used to call him a gremlin, he remembers how when Tyler smiled there would always be someone making fun of his teeth and his glasses but Tyler always acted like he didn't care even when some of the girls called him "betty la fea" for a couple of months, he would just flip them off and keep moving.

Then he got contacts, it was weird seeing him without the glasses, his eyes look smaller this way but Alex got used to it, the next thing to go were the braces and his hair went from crazy curly to wavy curly, he never really noticed how huge the change had been until one day one of the girls brought it up and he could see Tyler do a side smile when it happened.Finn said that he thought it was hypocritical to spent all this years saying that you don't care when you obviously do, Alex remembers saying maybe puberty had just been good to him but also what he wished he had asked what if he had worked to look cute? why was that wrong? but he didn't. 

Tyler still wears his glasses sometimes, Alex thought he looked cute in them but he never said it out loud, it never really mattered how Tyler looked like to him because even if Tyler had changed in the outside, he had stayed the same in the inside. Some things never change like the grass is green, the sky is blue and Tyler is always going to be a good friend, he is loyal and can keep a secret like it's no ones business, he will let you copy off his homework or help you cheat on a test, he is also the type of guy who would ditch a party if anyone feels like they don't wanna go but they don't wanna be alone.

That's how he would have described him before that night,even after the glow up, he hadn’t noticed him in any other way, he had always been the same to him, Tyler who wears mismatched socks and forgets to brush his hair, who sometimes still wears his giant bottle glasses that make his eyes look like they are about to pop out of his face because the contacts still make him squamish.

That was Tyler before that night, dumb nerdy Tyler that lets everyone copy off his exams and homeworks, who thinks P.E. should be called F.B. for fucking bullshit and who swears in front of everyone except his older sibilings and who can't dance to save his life, of course he is still the same Tyler but now Alex knows that he is also a good kisser and that changes everything because before that night, he didn’t knew that Tyler’s lips were soft and full and open. that his hair is both silky and wild.Now he knows how his fingers feel against his skin when he carefully put his hands on his shoulders and then he cups his face.

It’s like there is movie going on in his head of Tyler in the past and he is trying to pinpoint a moment in which he might have seen a sign that he liked him but all he can think of is that one time Tyler nearly died by trying to fit 10 marshmallows in the inside of his mouth, how one time that Alex forgot his homework. Tyler let him copy off his in class and even faked a nosebleed so the teacher wouldn't notice. how he loves broadway but how he will always tell other people at the theater club that the best musical ever made was sponge bob square pants just to piss them off even if he does like it unironically. how last year he had a crush on a senior an everytime that guy would walk by, Tyler would make a fool of himself trying to catch his attention. 

Alex nearly cringes at that memory but then another one hits him, he remembers when he told him about what had happened with his abuelita and how when she was at the hospital, Tyler went to church with him to pray even if he doesn't believe in god, he sat next to him and when he noticed that Alex was about to cry. he reached for his hand and hold it and when he did, he squeeze it in such a way that it made a fart noise. It was so dumb but it worked. It made him laugh and forget about everything for a second.

Oh god. He can't believe he kissed Tyler.

He kissed someone who unironically likes sponge bob square pants the musical.

It's not like it didn't felt good because it did but it shouldn't have. 

It should have felt weird, they should have laughed as soon as their lips touched and then never speak of it again,unless they wanted to make a joke but instead, god,instead it felt good.

Not just "better than i expected good" but great. 

And not just “great” but “I hope this happens again” type of great, like if someone would come over and gave him the chance to do this night all over again and gave him two choices a) he stays at home, he can even call Tyler and invite him to watch a shitty movie and make fun of it or b) go to the party, play that stupid game of truth or dare and kiss Tyler, he wouldn’t know which one to chose because this might the best kiss he has ever had, even if in theory it would have been fine if he hadn't kissed him, then he wouldn't be in bed, touching his lips wondering why it felt so different.

Why it felt so good?

Fuck that party, the one time he convinces his mom to let him go and he gets an existential crisis. 

The party was at Finn's house, ever since he realized that parties would be a quick rise to popularity with his traveling parents and wealthy household, he basically throws them every weekend but usually Alex is not allowed and sometimes he feels a little left out because of that but his friends always catch him up with everything on monday.

Like last week, he didn't go but from what Hugo told him that Finn made a move on Mackenzie who everyone was convinced Cameron liked, at the beginning he thought that it could all be gossip but when he walked up to them on monday, he could hear Cameron say "i'm not mad, why would i be?" and here is the thing Alex would have believed if his arms weren't crossed and his eyebrows weren't furrowed when he said it, then he grabbed something from his locker and said "be good to her" which didn't sound like a good wish for their relationship. it sounded like a warning "be good to her or else".

Yeah, it had made things awkward which is why that night , he was going to stay away from them and their drama, eventually they'll made up but right now their fight continued and their group was split into two groups for that party, Alex and Hugo were with Finn and Tyler was with Cameron, that wasn't really a suprise because Cameron is Tyler's best friend and everybody knows that. 

Before Alex kissed Tyler. he was actually having a pretty good night up to that point, everything was going according to plans,Chloe actually agreed to dance ONE song with him but also said that if he asked her out again, she'll say yes, he made a mental note to ask her again tomorrow because he didn't want to look too eager and went looking for Hugo who was sitting next to his girlfriend Camila, they were playing truth or dare with spin the bottle, it basically means if the top of the bottle lands on you it means that you get to ask whoever is at the bottom of the bottle "truth or dare?". 

When it's Finn's turn to spin the bottle,it feels like everyone tenses because he always picks the worst most personal questions and some mortifying dares so it's not a surprise when Alex doesn't know how to react the bottle lands on him. 

"Alex, truth or dare?" Finn asks him. 

"Dare," he says feeling brave "what do you have for me?"

Alex notices the shiteating grin on Finn's face as he looks away from him and stares at Tyler who is sharing a sofa with Cameron, they are not really playing, it's more like they are just casually staring at them play and every once in a while someone includes them in the there and they participate, like that one time Cameron helped Amanda to eat toothpaste or a guy was dared to lift up Tyler so it wasn't uncommon to bring them up in dares so he wasn't worried. 

"I dare you to kiss Tyler for two minutes," He says looking incredibly smug as the rest of his friends start whooping and laughing, someone even whistles,"with tongue"  
His stomach just flip flopped and he is pretty sure he has been startled into silence, when he turns his gaze to Tyler, he looks like someone just threw a bucket of cold water at him.

He doesn't know how long they just sit there looking at each other, all he knows is that everyone is whooping and how Finn will probably make things worst for both of them if they don't kiss than if they do so he says "I don’t really care, it's not a big deal, right?"

Now all the eyes are on Tyler like they are waiting for what he has to say. he doesn't really reply, he only stands from the couch awkwardly which gets him a couple of applauses.

Finn makes them move behind one of the couches so they can have space, since the circle is crowded now this looks like they are on a stage which he doesn't know if it's better because that way this can feel like more of a performance or worse because that means everyone gets to see them.  
He looks at Tyler's eyes and can see how fucking mortified he is, they stand there awkwardly while someone sets the timer.

"So you brushed your teeth today?," he asks trying to lighten the mood, Tyler snorts but doesn't really say anything else besides that because that's when the music changes and now hotline bling is playing which he knows for a fact Tyler doesn't like, he even hears him muttering under his breath jesus fucking christ. 

"Ready?" Amanda asks them with her cellphone in her hand, Alex nods and when he turns around he notices that Tyler just gave a step closer to him, it's the first time he has been this close to him, He looks into Tyler's eyes as she is about to press the buttons and he hears her say “On your marks, get set and go”. 

He closes his eyes as he leans in, they collide a little too hard so Alex tilts his head to one side so that he can press closer, he feels warm breath fluttering across his cheek every time Tyler breathes out and he reflexively puts his hands on his waist and Tyler put his hands on his shoulders tentatively like he is saying "oh sorry i didn't knew this was allowed" , he moves his hands slowly and carefully like he is scared ALex is going to push him away.

That's the moment in which Alex remembers that hotline bling is playing,he is pretty sure that it's repeating the chorus for the third time, when his lips part at the tentative touch of tongue,Alex lets out a startled noise from the back of his throat.

Tyler hands slowly change position and he cups his face as he brushes his thumb gently across Alex’s jaw which is oddly relaxing and he thinks about doing the same thing and cupping Tyler's face but instead he runs his fingers through Tyler’s hair which is silkier and softer than he expected it. 

That’s when he heard something.

“ ten... nine...” 

Right, he had forgotten about them. 

he forgot what he was doing this for. 

a voice inside of him tells him why else would you be doing this? 

“eight... seven...” 

he doesn't know how to reply to that question which feels like more and more questions keep popping up on his head what do you want to kiss him for a longer time? you should be glad this is over, you should push him away, you should-

"six...five..."

He is pretty sure that is his toxic masculinity speaking and now it feels like Elena is inside of his head telling him off for kissing a guy for a reason like this, specially a bisexual guy who probably hasn't even had his first kiss yet. 

"four...three"

He doesn't really want to think about Elena right now but he is not sure of what he wants to think about but then he feels a soft chuckle into the kiss and then that's all he can think about.

"TWO...ONE"

Alex is not sure which one of them breaks apart first, all he knows is that when he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Tyler who was blushing and unlike him, he didn't get a normal blush on his cheeks and ears instead it was like his whole face had become blotchy red, he can only imagine how he looks like, his cheeks are probably flushed, and confusion is swimming through his eyes but then he gives him this shy smile and he returns it.

He hears the prodding and congratulatory claps and whistles, as they walk back to the places they were sitting, that's when he notices his mom is calling which means it's time to go home, Schneider is waiting for him outside. 

The last thing he sees of Tyler is that Finn basically tries to touch his arm and say in a mocking baby voice oh, are you embarrassed? and Tyler pushes him away. 

He has thought about texting him or calling him or maybe just send him a selfie on snapchat and that was just on the way home but instead he lays in bed, eyes open and hand in his mouth still. 

He puts his headphones on and hesitates before picking a song, that's when he falls asleep to the sound of hotline bling.


	2. Not Today

Alex has been avoiding Tyler for a week, he is not proud of himself but in his defense he tried to talk to him on monday, he saw him standing next to his locker and made his way towards him but a couple of guys walked by and started chanting kiss,kiss,kiss mockingly so instead of saying hi, Alex just walked past him, avoided all eye contact and prayed to god that Tyler was listening to music or just didn’t notice him.

Again, he is not proud of himself.

The worst part is that now Finn is telling him that he is a baby for not wanting to talk to Tyler which is bullshit because he does want to talk to Tyler, things are just weird right now and besides Finn has no right to say anything about this, like seriously? he started this, if he hadn’t given him that stupid dare,none of this shit would be happening.

Actually, scratch that, he just remembered the actual worst part of everything and that is when Finn said “you kissed him for a few minutes, no one is asking you to date him”.

Not that he wants to date Tyler but it’s not like he can date him now, their first kiss was to hotline bling by Drake, and if they started dating then that would be their song, Alex spent his whole weekend listening to hotline bling and over analyzing every single one of his moves and thinking about what he would say when he saw Tyler on monday (only to run away like an idiot when he actually saw him), interrupted every once in a while by Elena who wanted to tell him about how big of dick he is for listening to Drake after the creepy shit with underage girls which he agrees with but he just wanted to think in peace, so he eventually just listened to covers of hotline bling so that she would stop interrupting him. 

So now every time he listens to any version of hotline bling, he is thinking about Tyler.

Damn, Their song is already Hotline Bling.

Not that they have a song, it’s not like they are together, actually right now he is not even sure they are friends because when he tried to sit next to him on Friday, Tyler stood up and sat in the back and unlike him , he made sure he was making eye contact,shit, he noticed.

And shit, he was hurt, Alex wanted to sit next to him and talk to him but that’s when the teacher walks in so he stays where he is, he expects Hugo to walk in and sit next to him but instead someone else takes the seat .

Chloe is sitting next to him and she passes him a note that says “so about that date?”

***  
Alex had been waiting for this moment forever, he had been trying to ask Chloe out for months, he is honestly glad that she didn’t ask him why he didn’t text her that weekend because with all honesty, he wasn’t sure of what he was going to tell her oh, i forgot, you see i had a busy weekend, i kissed one of my friends during truth or dare and it really threw me into a loop so i was just busy, you know?.

Yeah, he would rather tell Chloe that he had diarrhea.

They go on a date on saturday,they meet at the museum around three, when he gets there, she is already waiting for him at the door and she looks beautiful, one of the things that he has always liked about her were her big brown eyes with gigantic eyelashes that were longer than life and her hair was thick cut in a face-framing bob and styled so strictly into place that Alex was sure was impossible to mess up.

She also has the brightest smile that he has ever seen and she says hi to him by giving him a kiss on the cheek and holds his hand immediately, he is pretty sure that he is in heaven, they have fun, they do dumb poses with the statues and take a thousand pictures together.

After the museum, they go for ice cream and they talk, he finds out things that he didn’t knew about her before like how her parents are divorced so she has two houses, how she has a cat that she named emma and she is thinking about getting a second one and that her favorite ice cream is strawberry.

At the end of the date, he offers to walk her home but she says that her dad will come to pick her up, so they wait together for her dad to get there before she leaves, Alex finds himself being pulled down for a kiss, he closes his eyes and feels a soft plush lips against his own and after a couple of seconds, she pulls away smiling before running across the street to get to her dad’s car.

He stands there and he smiles like an idiot as he waits to take the bus, he is pretty sure that his crisis has been avoided.

That is of course until the bus passes by Tyler’s house and he catches a glance of him walking his dog Butch, he thinks of getting off the bus and talking to him, fixing things once and for all,if his crisis is over then he should be able to look at him in the face and tell him-

Well, the bus just started again so he should just wait until monday, he knows that he can text him but he seriously thinks that this is a face to face type of situation.  
He can wait, he'll talk to him on monday, he’ll do it, no excuses this time.

***

He can’t wait until monday.

Alex couldn't sleep after talking with his mom and Elena, at the beginning maybe it’s because he is replaying the conversation in his head, mostly because it was slightly uncomfortable, complicated and there are certain parts that he is still a little confused by but he is willing to listen and learn.

He also sent Chloe an apology just in case he did made her feel uncomfortable and didn’t realize it, she responds quickly and tells him that he didn’t and that she had a good time but she is going through some stuff and she is not really ready for a boyfriend right now so they should stay friends.

He is a little disappointed but he is okay with it and he lets her know that if she ever needs someone to talk to about the stuff she is going through, he is there if she needs anything, after that the conversation is mostly emojis.

“i’m sorry Tyler, i was dick because i liked kissing you and i have thought about kissing you again and i spent the weekend listening to different versions of hotline bling and thinking about it and i feel like things are just weird now, probably not for you or maybe even more for you because i put you on the spot and i never asked you if you were okay with us kissing and i’m basically a predator that doesn’t understand enthusiastic consent, it’s not just yes but basically HELL YES”.

He actually types that and deletes it as soon as he is done reading it because he is sure that Tyler would skim that whole mess and then text back “what the fuck?”.

So he goes to bed, he decides that he can’t wait until monday but he can wait until tomorrow afternoon, he convinces his mom to let him go to Tyler’s house, they agree with the condition that he only stays there for two hours and be back home,he has school tomorrow after all.

Alex knows that Tyler will be home because his brother and sister have a rule that’s basically sunday are family days so they stay at home to do movie marathons or clean or just to spend time together in anyway possible, sometimes they go to the beach but only early in the mornings to surf, they are always back by now.

He rings the doorbell and usually it takes a while for the door to be opened, in between butch running around, the three of them complaining that they are too comfortable in the couch or being busy or being in the bathroom it takes at least nine or fifteen minutes to get the door opened, however this time the door is opened automatically and he almost wished it wasn’t.

Tyler opens the door in a completely mismatched outfit that makes Alex want to say “is pete davidson your new fashion icon?” but then he looks at his face and Tyler has tears running down his cheeks, his eyes are completely red and his hair is messier than usual and Alex feels like someone just punched him in the stomach.

“i thought you were cameron,” he says but he doesn’t close the door on his face which was Alex's worse case scenario but he doesn't let him which was his best case scenario instead he comes out of the house and leaving the door half open and half closed “hi, sorry i’m a mess”

“you look like pete davidson’s long lost little brother” he says, he didn’t expect to start this conversation this way but it gets Tyler to crack a smile so he calls it a win “I’m sorry, i should have called first”

“you didn’t because you thought that i would have told you not to come”

“you wouldn’t have?”

Tyler doesn’t respond which means that he would have told him not to come, he sits in the porch and Alex sits next to him in complete silence, it’s a little awkward and he can’t stand how quiet it is so he decides that he is going to talk, that’s why he is here for anyway.

“i’m not crying because of you,” Tyler said, there was a twinge of tenseness to his words like he can break and start crying again any minute now “shit, i didn’t mean it like that, it sounded way better in my head, i meant i’m not crying because of you so don’t feel bad, okay?”

“so you are not mad at me?” he asks hopefully but Tyler gives him a look that basically screams that he is mad at him.

“i’m not happy with you but this” he pointed a his face and red eyes “isn’t because of you”

Alex felt both relieved and concerned at the same time, “then what happened?”

“It’s Butch, you know she always had those issues with her left eye” Alex nodded, that was the main reason Tyler adopted her, the story goes like this six year Tyler overheard two employes talking about how no one was going to take Butch because she had a birth eye defect, then he came back to his siblings and started to cry about how they had to take her because no one else would and ever since she had been part of their family and the rest is history “So i took her to the veterinarian today, she had been weird lately like walking into walls and i thought maybe her eyesight on her left eye had gone worse but then the doctor said that it wasn’t just her left eye but now it’s also the right eye and she can only see 30% of everything and i don’t even know what that means, what the fuck is 30%? like he just kept on saying that it’s 30% now and it’s normal because she is old and it just means that she is going to die soon and that’s not even true because he said that she still has at least four years to live, that’s not soon and then he tried to tell me that i should probably adopt another dog and i don’t want another dog or need another dog, i just wanted to know why my dog was walking into walls so i could fix it and turns out there is nothing i can do”.

Tyler is not really looking at him when he is telling him all of this but Alex can tell that he is trying desperately not to cry even more but he is on the verge of starting to not just cry but to sob with hiccups and gasps for breath and Alex can't see him like that so gets closer to him, grabs for his hand trying to recreate that day in church, he holds it and squeezes it in such a way that it makes a fart noise.

Tyler chuckles and shakes his head before pulling his hand away, when he does that Alex feels a tightness in his chest like he just got rejected but he tries not to show it because now he is looking at him and he continues explaining like nothing happened “the doctor did say that I have to buy her this eyedrops, it won't cure her but it will help her a bit and she will be okay, my sister says that we'll talk care of her until her last days and she'll have a great life and she is right and maybe this is a bit of overreaction but this guy kept talking about the 30% and how she is going to start to deteriorate soon and how it's going to be an slow process and then he said adopt another dog”

“I'm sorry that you had to deal with that fucking moron” Alex says bluntly because there is nothing else he can really say about that situation however there is something else that he came here to say and he should probably say it “and I'm sorry for avoiding you this week you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry about the party, if you feel like I pressure you or put you in a position in which you felt uncomfortable saying no”

“okay, three things” Tyler says as he lifts up three of his fingers “first yeah the guy was a fucking moron but language, second I forgive you” he puts down two of fingers and now he is flipping him the bird, he thinks about doing it back but Tyler continues “and third about what happened at the party, you didn’t pressure me and i wasn’t uncomfortable, maybe i would have been with someone else but not with you”

Alex wants to ask why but he doesn’t, instead he just says “me too”.

“can you imagine if Finn had dared you to kiss Hugo?” Tyler asks and Alex can’t stop himself from saying ew, it’s not that Hugo is ugly but he is like brother to him, it would have been weird and he is pretty sure that by the end of it Hugo would have cleaned his mouth on his sleeve.

“Okay, now that would have been a giant disaster” Alex admits.

“Nothing like ours” Tyler says and Alex knows that tone, it’s the one he uses when he is trying to say something as sarcastically as he can manage.

“ours was good” He replies without really thinking about it but when he says it outloud,it feels like it’s happening in slow motion, if this was a movie then the background music would cut off suddenly and comedically as Tyler’s head would snap dramatically towards him, slack jawed but when he turns to him, he has this smile that he has never seen before and his face is slowly getting as red as that night in the part.

“Yeah, it was good,” he responds simply as he looks away from him like he is trying to collect himself from what Alex just say which does make him feel a little smug but a second later Tyler’s blush is gone and he is quick to turn around “i’ll give you an eight out of ten score definitely”

“eight out of ten?”

“yes, eight out of ten, i would have given you ten points, if you would have been a gentleman called me the next day”

That’s when he knows that Tyler thinks that Alex is just messing with him so he is doing the same thing back. So he could get away with telling Tyler that he should give him another chance but only for the 10/10 score? He could totally ask Tyler to kiss him again as a joke of course and if he says "yes" then he is safe and if he says "No" then he can totally pull the "just kidding" card, right?

No, of course not, what is he going to say? _hey Tyler, i know we just made up after I ignored you for a week but let's kiss for funsies? ___

__However he doesn’t ask him, he doesn’t get a chance to because then the door behind them opens out and sees Tyler’s sister who is peeking her head out of the door “hey, just checking to see how you are doing and ask you what kind of pizza do you-OH, hi Alex, i didn’t knew you were coming over”_ _

__“Hi Jill,i was in the neighborhood and i thought i’ll drop by”_ _

__“good to see you, are you staying for dinner?” she asked him._ _

__“no, i have to go back home, i promised that i wouldn’t stay for long”_ _

__“oh, that’s too bad,” she said and then turn to Tyler “ Jason is going to ask for a pizza with pepperoni, do you want something or anything else?”_ _

__“I’m okay with that” he said with shrug._ _

__“it’s good to see you are feeling better, i’ll leave you guys to it” she said before closing that door again._ _

__As soon as she goes, Alex notices that it’s time to go home otherwise he is going to be late and he should go before his mouth decides to say other things without his permission, but they get a second interruption when a car stops in front of them, it takes a second for him to realize that is cameron’s step dad's car._ _

__Cameron gets out of the car with two bags which probably means that he is going to spend the night and go to school tomorrow morning with Tyler, he has this shocked smile on his face but walks towards them and acts like nothing is even out of place “hey, sorry i’m late, there was a lot of traffic but i bought ice cream”_ _

__“cool, Jill and Jason are ordering pizza” Tyler helped him with one of the bags and the three of them waved at Haanish who waved back at them as he drove away._ _

__“Well, i would love to stay but i have to get going” Alex tells them, Tyler looks disappointed but nods, however Cameron’s expression changes into concern as he asks them “But you guys are okay, right?”_ _

__They exchange one look and a smile before both of them agreeing and nodding as they say at the same time “Yeah, we are fine”._ _

__“jinx you owe me a soda” Tyler says so quickly that it feels like he is saying one word all together._ _

__“Fine, i’ll give it to you on monday” Alex says rolling his eyes and smiling as he walks away towards the bus stop._ _

__*****_ _

__He doesn’t give Tyler a coke on monday but honestly it feels like whole last week didn’t even happen and it was fever dream he had because everything is back to normal, his friend group was all back to good even Cameron and Finn were on speaking terms again, no one in the school was talking about the kiss anymore, probably because time passed and people forgot about it but Hugo says that it’s because Finn had one of those rare moments in which he realizes that he is being a brat and went too far and actually went and scared those guys to fuck off or else, honestly either way he is happy about it, Chloe and him were friendlier but it felt like the date didn’t even happened but he is okay with that too, he is just glad that things are back to normal._ _

__And everything is until lunch, he is not even sure what the conversation is about anymore, all he knows is that everyone is eating and grabbing everyone else’s lunch, Finn is making fun of the way Hugo eats which nearly starts a food fight until Dylan Sanvers approaches their table._ _

__Here is the thing, they are not exactly uncool or unpopular but Dylan Sanvers is at least one year older than them, he is also good at sports, he is taller than all of them and completely skipped the awkward phase as a teenager, he just straight up went from cute to handsome which was honestly a little unfair, he remembers how Finn told him that if you don’t have an awkward phase that means you’ll have the freshman 15, he thinks it was his misguided way to be supportive when he got braces._ _

__“Hey” Dyan says like they talk every day and this isn’t some strange occurrence “you had a cool party last week”_ _

__“Thanks” Finn says, his voice is choked up and he looks genuinely flattered but Alex knows for a fact that his inner six year old brat is thinkingyou were there? i don’t remember inviting you._ _

__“What are you guys going to do in the day of the fundraiser?”_ _

__They all exchange glances like they are all asking each other if they are free that day and if they are not, they better cancel those plans, the first one to talk is Hugo who tries to sound as casual as possible “Nothing yet, why?”_ _

__“We are going to be hanging out at Amanda’s house, and we thought you guys might like to come”_ _

__It takes a second for all of them to agree to go, almost a little too eager but Alex is pretty sure that they don’t sound desperate which is the important part._ _

__“cool, i’ll see you guys there” Dylan says as he walks away._ _

__Alex is excited for a couple of minutes before he realizes that he might not get permission and Hugo stares back at him like he thinking exactly the same thing, that’s mostly because his mom has never ending feud with Amanda’s mom but before any of them can say anything, Finn is the first one to say “you cannot miss this, no fucking way”._ _

__That’s how the rest of the week sort of turns into planning, they fake a whole group project and make sure to mention it at all of their homes, however they all say the different places they are going to go, Alex is lucky that week because his mom is basically running the fundraiser so she is probably going to be there the whole day so he says he’ll be at Hugo's house, Hugo says he’ll be at Alex’s house, Tyler says that he’ll be at Cameron’s place and Cameron just says where he is really going to be and the condition for him to go is how his stepdad has to pick him up._ _

__Alex just has to be back home before anyone of his family gets there so he’ll be fine._ _

__***_ _

__So he might have lost the track of time but he had a pretty good reason._ _

__When they got there they were the only ones of their year which was both terrifying and exciting at the same time, they sat in the living room talking and chilling listening to whatever music was playing, that’s of course until Dylan came up to them with a vape pen from his older brother asking them if they wanted to try it._ _

__Fun fact when you get offered weed in real life, it’s not like in the weird warning videos they watch in school, Dylan just offers it and he expected Finn to be the first one to jump and say yes but instead Hugo is the one to do it first._ _

__“Cool, give it back when you guys are done” Dylan says but before he goes he turns to Tyler and asks “oh, you can teach them, right?”_ _

__He is expecting Tyler to laugh and asks if he seriously gives that big of a stoner vibe but instead he just nods which does make all of them turn to look at him._ _

__"have you done this before?" Finn asked completely shocked._ _

__"Once,i'm not really proud about it" he says now sounding slightly uncomfortable "i did it last year with Owen"_ _

__"okay, now i know you are lying there isn't a single boy named Owen in our class," Alex says but it takes a second for a memory from last year to hit him in the head "but there was an Owen in our school"_ _

__Owen was this guy from senior year who Tyler had a crush on and tried to do anything to catch his attention._ _

__It feels like a memory is slapping him._ _

__But why? He shouldn’t feel like that, specially not now that everything's back to normal, he didn’t care when he liked him last year, what is this? and why now?_ _

__"No way" Hugo said shocked but Cameron who was sitting next to Tyler remained unfazed, he probably knew about it and just didn’t mention it._ _

__“How?” Finn asked “what did you do? did you just send him a message that said my parents aren’t home and he showed up with a vape pen?”_ _

__“Technically my parents haven’t been home in 12 years” Tyler says proudly like this is the best joke he has made in his whole life but only Alex laughs because of course Tyler would feel like making a joke about his dead parents would make things less awkward instead of just answering a question “see, Alex gets it and it wasn’t that big of a deal, okay?”_ _

__“If it wasn’t that big of a deal, then tell it” Finn says in almost the same tone he used when he asked them to kiss for the dare, he can tell because it triggers something in Tyler’s head too because he clenches his jaw._ _

__“Okay, so we meet last year when i was hanging out with Katherine, her older brother was friends with Owen and he invite him over, she didn’t told me that he was there because she wanted to see my reaction which was not chill at all but then they were smoking and Owen asked me if i wanted to do it and i said yes because i wanted him to think i was cool”_ _

___You are already cool _Alex finds himself thinking and wishes he was high already so he could have an excuse for thinking that.__ _ _

____“and i was curious so i tried it and i must say i’m a bit of lightweight so i’m having a moment and Owen feels responsible and drives me to get something to eat, we talked until i sobered up and then he takes me home and for a brief moment i felt like he might like me but then he tells me that he is flattered but he thinks that i’m too young for him and he hopes that we can stay friends but two days later i heard him in the bathroom talking shit about me with his friends and laughing at me so yeah that’s that”_ _ _ _

____“Long story short, He is a fucking asshole” Cameron said as soon as Tyler finishes telling the story and grabs the vape pen “anyway how do we use this?”_ _ _ _

____Tyler taught them one by one how to use it, almost without trouble, Alex is the last one and when he does it, their hands touch and they are as close as they were when they kissed and he finds himself looking at his eyes, his nose, his freckles and his lips…_ _ _ _

____Dammit, he wants to kiss him again._ _ _ _

____But he can't so he vapes instead, at least that way he can keep his mouth busy, well maybe a little too busy because when Cameron’s dad comes to pick them up, he feels like he is a high as a kite so instead they decide that since Tyler’s place is empty, he should stay there until he sobers up._ _ _ _

____He still can walk and talk but honestly he feels like he could fly right now if he wanted to, he is dizzy and he is so giggly and he is not worried because Tyler is with him and he feels safe even if on the way to the bus stop he nearly tripped twice. They take the bus to his house and they are laughing, even if he is sure that they are not saying anything remotely funny._ _ _ _

____When they get to Tyler house it takes a couple of minutes to open the door but as soon as he does Tyler picks up butch who is moving her tail like crazy and Alex wants to lay on the couch but he grabs him by the hand and takes him to his room._ _ _ _

____He sits him down on the bed with butch and holds him by the shoulders and says “ i’m going to go get us some snacks, Don’t move, okay? and I’m leaving you with Butch, please her make sure that she is okay”._ _ _ _

____"You are so pretty" is all that Alex responds, thank god Tyler is too high to take him seriously, he just giggles and he disappears for a couple of minutes or maybe longer, when he comes back with a bunch of sandwiches, ice cream and sodas._ _ _ _

____Alex laughed and said that he doesn't think he could finish all of that but apparently high!Alex can, they eating and still giggling, he still feels dizzy when Tyler lays next to him and he thinks about it again, about kissing him, maybe it’s because they are close, maybe it’s because he is high or maybe it’s because Tyler is also staring at his face like that with his big brown eyes, he is batting his eyelashes-_ _ _ _

_____Alex, he is just blinking, that's the way that eyes work _.__ _ _ _ _

______Yeah but he has this smile that Alex swears is smitten._ _ _ _ _ _

_______that's just his face ____ _ _ _ _ _

________And he can see him looking at his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________He is probably doing that because he is high- ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________in a way that makes him think that Tyler wants to kiss him too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You only think that because you are high- ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________That's not true, he wants to kiss him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Then ask him_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________What?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Ask him if you can kiss him_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________What? No! he can't do that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Right, i forgot you are so sure that he wa _nts to kiss you, that you shouldn't even ask him, you should just kiss him__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________WHAT? NO! DOUBLE NO!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Why not?JUST KISS HIM! ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________That's when he knows that his common sense has left the chat because his brain keeps chanting on kiss, kiss,kiss and he closes his eyes trying to fall asleep trying to shut them up but suddenly that voice starts to turn louder into the mocking voices of those guys on monday and he can't kiss Tyler now because that's all he is thinking about and he hates that and he hates himself and he hates Tyler too for looking so cute today-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Apparently hating takes a lot of energy because suddenly he can't open his eyes, they are too heavy and he is too tired so he stays like that for a couple of seconds until he falls asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________When he wakes up,he is not sure of for how long he has been asleep,he flutters his eyes open and rubs his face as he mumbles “What time is it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Don’t worry, you still have time, otherwise i would have woken you up” Tyler says as he takes out one of his headphones._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You look sleepy” he says as he lays next to him again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“One of us had to stay up and it was obviously not going to be you sleeping beauty” he smiled again, he never thought that he would find that so unfairly disarming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You can sleep now, if you want to” He offers him “when i leave, i’ll close the door”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“No, i don’t want to sleep” he shaked his head and turned to the side to be looking at him face to face again “i want to..”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What?” Alex asks him after a second._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I want to stay up until you go” he says unknowingly making Alex’s heart jump, he offers him one of his earbuds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What musical are we listening today?” he crossed his fingers “please say hamilton”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“None, you are safe today, just twenty one pilots, besides we don’t have enough time to listen to the whole Hamilton soundtrack”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You know that there isn’t a rule forcing you to listen to the whole thing, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Yeah, there is” he says as he presses the play button and he hears not today by Twenty One Pilots._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He stares at him for a couple of seconds in complete silence as they hear the song but he knows that won’t last for long because Tyler starts half singing and half lip synching the song, he does it all the time and Alex used to make fun of it but right now, let’s just say things are different, he feels different which is stupid because Tyler is ridiculous, he is holding his imaginary microphone and moving his arm like he is talking to some imaginary audience but hearing Tyler sing “I'm, I'm out of my mind, I'm not seeing things right,I waste all this time trying to run from you, But I'm, I'm out of my mind”._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Well...It’s making Alex want to kiss him, no matter how fucking ridiculous he looks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It’s okay, i’ll let you pick the next one” Tyler says passing him the phone, maybe he noticed his staring and thought he didn’t like the song and he doesn’t know how to say that it’s not really about the song._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Because it’s not the song, _it’s you and your stupidly cute face _is not a reply you can really come back from.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He wants to say something but all he think of saying is basically variations of that and like he said, he can’t come back from that, maybe he should just listen to the damn song but all the song is basically telling him is that he should kiss Tyler, alright maybe he is exaggerating now and he knows it, he bets that twenty one pilots didn’t wrote this damn song with the intention of it being used to justify Alex wanting to kiss one of his best friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But that whole not today bit is really speaking to him and making him believe that he could tell Tyler._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________That maybe he should._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Tyler” he says and he can basically feel the anxiousness on his own voice and he is pleading himself to keep it together, especially because now Tyler has this worried look on his face “have you thought about-” he takes a deep breath “the kiss since the weekend?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Alex closes his eyes because he really doesn’t want to see what expression Tyler is doing because otherwise he is going to back out, he definitely wants to do it now because Tyler is not answering but he still finishes what he is going to say “Because i have”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tyler doesn’t answer again and now he is just getting more and more nervous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and i-” Alex doesn’t really finishes that sentence but he is deeply relieved because he feels Tyler’s hands on his cheeks, cupping his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Please look at me” Tyler sounds incredibly soft and sweet and comforting, maybe in a way that Alex has never heard him before so he opens his eyes and notices that Tyler just got a little closer to him and he is blushing, he smiles and chuckles as he says “hi”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Hi” he responds sounding shy as well but that only lasts a second because then he notices how Tyler wants to say by the way he opens his mouth but words don’t come out, his eyes are darting quickly from Alex’s eyes to Alex’s lips so instead of waiting,he asks him “Can i kiss you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“With one condition” Tyler says sounding incredibly cautious “that you promise me that you’ll talk to me on monday, no matter what”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Of course, i promise” Alex reassures him immediately, he is not going to pull that shit again, no matter what, he was already sure of that, "i’m even calling you tomorrow, so that i can get that 10/10 score”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tyler laughs as he leans in and kisses the top of his head, then his forehead too, and lowering his lips to his cheeks and then to his nose and Alex is sure that he just became like ten shades redder with every kiss and that’s when Tyler finally kisses him in the mouth, their lips bump together messily, it’s not perfect, they are both a little frantic and anxious but Alex doesn’t care, right now he doesn’t have a single care in the world, it’s like he is decompressing and he can breath again, he runs his fingers through Tyler’s hair, over and over again, getting caught in the tangles of his curls and when Tyler does that thing with his thumbs on Alex’s jaw, he feels like maybe he is too far gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He realizes that he is actually too far gone when a cell phone rings and as soon as Tyler pulls away, Alex says no and it sounds like a cross between a groan and a whine, oh god, what is happening to him?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“don’t answer” Alex says as he leans in again but Tyler pulls away, kisses his cheek and whispers “that’s your phone, dumbass”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Oh” Alex takes out his phone and then notices that the person calling him was Elena, he rolls his eyes until he sees that she send him a message about how Abuelita hurt her ankle “Shit, i gotta go, my Abuelita is hurt”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Wait, fix your hair” Tyler said as they stood up from the bed and was running to another room “and change into one of my shirts, i’m pretty sure the one that you are wearing might smell”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Alex thinks that maybe Tyler is being paranoid but it’s better to take precaution, he is pretty sure that if his Abuelita smells weed on him, that might kill her or just be disappointed in him which would break his heart so he just puts on one of Tyler’s t-shirts, it's a red-and-white striped shirt that he has seen him use a couple of times in movie night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“and for the final touch” he said running into the room with cologne and gel “i heard this gets completely rid of the smell, well, i saw it on Caso Cerrado so i don’t-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Wait, you watch caso cerrado?” Alex asks, that’s the funniest thing he just heard, he still uses the stuff, one can never be too careful “maybe you and my abuelita should hang out instead”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Go home, Alex” he says but he is giving him this warm smile as he walks him to the door “and fix your hair on the way there”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Your hair is a mess too, just so you know” he says with a smug smile knowing that he was the one who mess it up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“that’s just the way mine looks like” Tyler replies quickly looking a little flustered_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He opens the door for him to go but before he does, Tyler sneaks a peck on his cheek and as he walks to get to the bus stop, he turns to look back at his house again and again, and he sees that Tyler stays standing there until he gets on the bus._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________***_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________When he gets home, he gets a bag of ice for his abuelita and takes her side immediately but it’s obvious that this is a conversation that Elena and her need to have alone so he goes to his room as he takes out his phone and thinks about texting Tyler, he doesn’t want to look desperate but he remembers the way he said no, when Tyler pulled away from the kiss and thinks that yeah maybe it’s too late for that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He sends him a message that says “hey, since i’m texting you right now? does that mean i get an score of 11/10?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He waits a couple of seconds and Tyler doesn’t reply with a message instead he gets a picture of him wearing the shirt Alex left at his house, he is giving him the thumbs up and butch is on his lap,he has this giant grin on his face that makes Alex want to scream but instead he sends him another message, he needs to keep his chill._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“If you wanted to keep it, you should have just asked for it”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tyler answers a second later “i didn’t plan it, my sister smelled and didn’t notice anything weird so it was actually safe but now that you say that, then cool, you are never going to see this shirt again”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“you’ll never see yours either then” he texts back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Deal :)”._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The cheesiest part is that he doesn’t change the shirt for the rest of the night and even wears it to sleep and before his brain starts to asks himself too many questions, he puts his headphones on and without hesitation and plays Not today but this time he does it soundly and peacefully and with a smile on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Cuando me enamoro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did i ever told you that Tyler's sister talked to an exorcist once and she told her that when a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore” Alex tells her, she has this confused expression on her face as she puts down her study cards.
> 
> "Why was she talking to an exorcist?" Elena asks with a lifted eyebrow.
> 
> "Not the point," Alex said looking at her eyes, starting to feel nerveous, maybe Elena fells that because the confused expression on her face turns into concern "the point is that ghosts are not able to be homophobic and that means that ghost abuelito is very proud of us two, yeah, both of us, i have a boyfriend now, by the way, well more like BI-”.
> 
> Next thing Alex knows he is on the floor and thinking “what the fuck?”.

Alex has a strange relationship with change, he knows it’s constant, inevitable and sometimes it’s for the best, he can even go with it but sometimes it’s just too much and he wants things to stay the same way but they never do. 

There are changes that he does like, for example a big recent change for him is kissing Tyler and he likes it, he is a big fan of that, he likes the new way Tyler looks at him , how he looks so soft and shy, how it feels when he holds his hand underneath the table, he likes that, loves all of that, he likes that now it’s almost impossible to get him away from the phone, he likes the stupid memes, the dumb texts messages,how now they can talk for hours about nothing and everything, again, big fan of all of that but it’s not his favorite part. 

His favorite part is that now Tyler tells him things that he didn’t knew before, like he started talking about his parents which is new, to be honest what everyone knows is that Tyler has three older siblings and his parents are dead which sounds like a cool introduction to a comic book story but it really isn’t. Tyler doesn’t really talk about his parents, he talks about his siblings instead like he lives with Jill and her girlfriend Sarah, they meet in high school but officially got together in college and have inseparable ever since, Jill is a psychologist and Sarah is a gender studies professor, they wear a lot of flannel, cut their hair themselves and own chevrolet but they only bought it because they saw it in a cute gay ad which means that Tyler “steals” their flannels a lot, they cut his hair and he eats cereal in the backseat while listening to indigo girls. 

Then there is Jason, he is Jill’s non-identical twin, a public attorney, always working therefore always tired and most of the time wearing a suit, he married his girlfriend Alyssa a couple of years ago and adopted a nine year old girl named Zoey, he lives a couple of blocks away from Tyler's house so he goes over there often, he seems like strict uptight guy but he was the one that woke up Tyler in the middle of the night and taught him how to drive at age eleven.

Jeremy is a different story, he is the one Tyler is closer to in age but that’s not saying much, Jeremy is 26 while Jason and Jill are 36, he lives in new york but he is always there for special occasions like he never misses Tyler’s birthday, when he is doing small talk with other people it feels like he is forced to be there but then you see his huge pleased smile when Tyler opens his present ,the banter with Jason about who should cut the cake and annoys Jill by trying to pick up plates faster than she does, you realize that he is actually thrilled to be there, he works as an illustrator of children's books and has a small apartment that Tyler calls cozy, Alex hasn’t personally seen it but he has seen pictures because they go to visit him once a year during the school break, this year Tyler is going to go by himself and he is pretty excited about it.

Again most people who know Tyler know all that stuff, all of their friends know that stuff but you know what people never really hear about? Tyler’s parents, if you ask him about it,he usually says is that he barely remembers them so there is no point in talking about them, there is nothing to say.

However today, it seemed like there was a lot to say, he brought out an old photo album, he showed him picture of his parents, apparently they were high school sweethearts, his mom got pregnant at seventeen and their parents threw her out of the house, same thing with Tyler’s dad so they only had each other, it wasn’t easy but they finished high school, college and got jobs, they had their kids and they were happy, when he was going through the pictures, he showed him one of the homecoming dance and Alex had to stop it just to look at Tyler’s dad for a second.

Tyler looked a lot like his dad, maybe not completely, he didn’t have Tyler’s freckles or his signature grin that he always uses in pictures but he had the big brown eyes and crazy hair that he was trying to tame with hair gel and unlike Tyler, he looked completely comfortable in a suit, maybe that’s where Jason gets it from.

“I know, he looks a lot like Jill” he said simply, Alex turned to look at him in disbelief but technically he wasn’t wrong, Jill also has big brown eyes and black hair like Tyler, he actually remembers thinking that she was his mom the first time he saw her, she doesn’t have freckles either so maybe she looks more like his dad than Tyler does but he still tells him “you look a lot like him too”.

That’s when he notices Tyler’s mom who is wearing a red dress and has long brown hair and blue eyes, okay so Jason and Jeremy look like their mom, that makes sense but then he notices her cheeks and nose full of freckles and that grin and says “you have your mom’s freckles”.

He turns to look at him, Tyler gives him this look and it’s not his usual soft and shy look, it’s different, like he is seriously touched by a simple comment, Alex is a little confused because he gets those all the time about his Abuelito, they say that he is “su mas vivo retrato”, he does love it, especially when his abuelita says it but Tyler seems touched in a completely different way,he kisses him in the cheek and smiles at him like he is the most important thing in the universe and Alex doesn’t really know how to handle that but his body has decided that he is going to blush and smile like an idiot and he wants to say something, he wants to say the right thing but when Tyler squeezes his hand, he realizes that he already did.

“You know Jill says that mom was thrilled that i got her freckles because none of her other kids did and when it happened she said well god saves the best for the end” Tyler moves the pages and shows him pictures of his parents wedding, it looks a little informal and they look a little young but they looked so happy like everything else was probably an afterthought “did i ever told you that they were like crazy religious and super traditional? They had like crosses all over the house”

“That’s nothing, My abuelita has pictures of different popes, the actual pope and her favorite pope all over her room and sometimes even in the fridge, one time she tried to turn the house into the sistine chapel” Alex explains, he knows Tyler is laughing and probably thinks that he is exaggerating “it’s going to take a lot more to impress me”

“i wasn’t trying to compete to see which one of us has the most religious relative-”

“but if you had, my abuelita would win” Alex said, Tyler laughed again before giving him a quick playful nudge.

“what i’m trying to say it’s that they were very traditional but i have never been worried that they wouldn’t have accepted me, because the first thing Jill said after i came out is that when she told them that she was lesbian, they accepted her right away, mom loved Sarah and when Jason brought Alyssa home and she was starting her transition, my dad pulled him aside and told him that he was proud of him for being a real man that is never embarrassed of the woman he loves and she says that they would have been proud of me too” his eyes are glassy now and Alex is worried that he is about to start crying but then he says “and i know i never really got to know them but i think they would have liked you too”.

Great, now Alex is the one that is going to start crying or at least he thought so before Tyler says casually as ever “She also said that she talked to an exorcist once and she told her that when a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore”

“So ghosts are not homophobic?” he asks instead of asking him an intelligent question like why was your sister talking to an exorcist, Tyler nods before the two of them start laughing “maybe that’s how i should come out, i’ll go up to Elena and i’ll be like did you know ghosts are not able to be homophobic? that means ghost abuelito is very proud of us two, yeah, both of us, i have a boyfriend now, by the way”.

He is laughing for a couple of seconds before he notices that Tyler isn’t really laughing, he is just staring at him with a puzzled look on his face and repeatedly blinking as his smile grows bigger and bigger.

Alex is confused until the idea hits him asswell and you must be thinking “Oh my god, Alex, you guys haven’t talked about this already?” and the answer is that no, they haven’t, don’t get him wrong, they talk a lot, even more now,they are able to talk about everything and nothing at the same time but there were two topics that they didn’t mention before “are we allowed to tell people?” and “what are we?”. 

Honestly Alex didn’t really brought it up because he is still not sure if he wants anyone to know, he was even a little paranoid that as soon as he left, Tyler had texted Cameron about everything but he knows that Tyler wouldn’t do that without asking him first, it’s not like he thinks his friends would hate him or that his family would react the wrong way he just doesn’t want anything to change.

He is just not ready to come out, not yet.

But he looks at Tyler’s face and he thinks that he wants him to be his boyfriend more than he has ever wanted anyone or anything. 

“i’m not ready to tell people,” he says and he is panicking for a few seconds because what if he is tired of him? what if he doesn’t want to do this anymore? what if he can’t-

“Alex, we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, okay?” he says camly, he doesn’t look disappointed or angry, he is just carefully hold his hands and nodding, Alex feels like a waterfall of thoughts are falling from his brain into his mouth.

“I know that our friends won’t care and i know that my family would react well like Elena would be over the moon and Schneider would try to give you some type of shovel talk that you would try not to laugh at, I might have to do a powerpoint presentation explaining bisexuality to abuelita but Elena could help me with that and mami wouldn’t care but the next time you go to my house the door would have to stay open, Elena can’t kiss Syd unless my mom goes to the bathroom but we can go somewhere else and you know we can go to the opera with Abuelita and Dr. berkowitz, unless you don’t like opera”

“I don’t care as long as i get to spend time with you” he says and it sounds so simple and so soothing, it calms his nerves completely, until he remembers that he was forgetting about someone.

Someone who he knows is probably not going to react well.

His papi.

He knows that papi and Elena are better now, not perfect but better and who knows? maybe it will be better for him, easier.

Or maybe worse, he knows that if he comes out it’s not going to be the same because his dad is the type of person who thinks girls liking girls is different from boys liking boys, he is so sure that as soon as he tells his dad, he is going to try to convince him that this is a fluke, that he is doing this for attention, that he is trying to be more like Elena, the worst part of knowing this is that he still misses and loves his papi which makes staying mad at him even harder,sometimes he is mad at himself too for agreeing to see him when Elena wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, every time he remembers her expression when she saw them at that pizza restaurant, his heart breaks.

“and then there is papi but you know what? fuck whatever he thinks, you know? like fuck that, especially after that little stunt he pulled on Elena’s birthday and then disappearing like that” he says, he doesn’t need to explain the whole thing to Tyler, he was there that day, everyone was there that day when his dad simply disappeared, and He feels Tyler cleaning his tears with his hands, great, he started crying, this is great this is awesome, this is perfect, he is just so fucking pathetic-

“i won’t tell anyone, i promise, this is between you and me and fuck everyone else, okay?”Tyler tells him with his hands on his shoulders trying to ground him into place 

“i’m actually a little surprised that you haven’t told Cameron about us” Alex admits, trying lighten the mood as he finished cleaning his tears and Tyler carefully put the photo album away.

“i wouldn’t tell him without you knowing and i don’t tell him everything, there is plenty of stuff i don’t tell Cameron” Alex lifts an eyebrow that does make Tyler laugh “alright, there are very few things i don’t tell him but that’s not the point”

“it’s just that you told him about Owen and no one knew about that” he says, he doesn’t know why that bothers him so much, that guy is not even in their school anymore and Tyler doesn’t talk to him.

“Oh that’s like so not the same, you and owen are not on the same level, you are way higher” Tyler says kissing both of Alex’s hands “you are my boyfriend”

“Oh, Come here” Alex says as he loops his arms around his neck because who would have ever thought that Tyler Miller was such a fucking romantic, first he kisses his nose, his cheeks, his forehead and finally his lips, it’s their thing. 

They have things now.

Because they are dating. 

Because they are boyfriends.

God, this is going to be a whole new level of cheesy dumbassery, he can tell, but honestly he doesn’t care, he is too busy kissing his boyfriend. 

****

A couple of days later, it proves to be a next level of chessy dumbassery because Alex used to pray for the break to come,he used to wait for it like if he was Robert Pattinson patiently waiting until twilight was over but back then he was a kid, now he is a teenager who is not going to see his boyfriend for a couple of weeks and honestly this break thing sounds like bullshit. 

It's not only Tyler who is leaving, Cameron is going on a ski trip with his mom and step dad, they are going to drive to Mammoth Mountain tomorrow morning and Hugo has plans of going to his dad’s beach house, it’s just going to be the two of them and his dad’s boyfriend Isaac, Finn is going to go with his parents to paris and he is complaining about it already, apparently he already went and he wasn’t impressed, he also has to leave in the middle of the night around two a.m, Tyler is still going to stay for two more days which Alex might catch a little of quality time with him before he goes.

But tonight they are going to Dylan’s party, they can’t stay for long not really, they have to be at Finn’s house at twelve, it’s not even because of his flight or anything like that but because they told their parents that they’ll be there saying goodbye to Finn before he goes.

Hugo is dancing with Camila because they are also not going to see each other for two weeks, they are slow dancing even if it is a fast song, Alex wishes that he could do the same with Tyler, that he could just stand up, take his hand and ask him if he wants to dance with him but every time, he thinks of it, he has a sense of dread inside of his stomach. 

Tyler and Cameron are on the other side of the room getting them drinks and food trying not to get stuck in the dance floor, Alex is sitting next to Finn and he is honestly a little worried about him, he doesn’t know who many beers he has tried since they got here but he thinks the answer to that question might just be a lot. 

“I know, this is going to sound super weird but you are all so lucky your parents are divorced” Finn said, yep, definitely a lot, Alex doesn’t really correct him telling him that Tyler’s parents are not divorced, they are dead and Cameron’s dad has been m.i.a. for fifteen years so there was no divorce because he is taking another can of beer and Alex might be a little worried.

“You do realize that you are going to get on a plane in a couple of hours, right?” Alex asks him trying to take the beer unsuccessfully. 

“This trip is going to be hell on earth you know? my parents are going to be at each other’s throats the whole time, they are going to accuse each other of cheating which they both do, you know? and then my dad is going to drink more than he should, mom is going to cry and i’m going re-watch bojack horseman on netflix and cry too, it’ll be great” He says, Finn usually sounds cheerful, mocking or like a brat, he always does even when he is sad, sometimes when he is with him, he thinks of Schneider and wonders if he also had the same type of childhood that Finn did, if he was sad and lonely most of the time while also trying to sound upbeat and maybe being a bit of a dick.

Sometimes when he hangs out with both of them, it reminds him that’s his mami is right, money can’t get you everything and he is happy that he has the family that he has and that Schneider is part of it too because he is a good person even if he is a little dumb sometimes and he tries to do for Finn, what no one was able to do for Schneider, be there and give him emotional support,maybe even yell at him if he is being stupid, he turns to him and tells him “You know, whatever you need i’m here, you can call me during the trip at any time”.

“Thanks man” Finn says as he puts down the can finally but he picks it up again and asks “how much do you wanna bet that if i get wasted, my parents won’t even notice”

“why do you want to take the little money i already don’t have” he replies quickly and Finn puts down the can and picks up some chips to sober up and Alex feels more relaxed now. 

That’s when Cameron and Tyler finally come back with sodas and a giant bag of chettoos and crawling out of the dance floor like if they just made it out of a zombie apocalypse and basically collapsed next to them in the couch.

“You guys didn’t have to take the whole bag” Finn said as Cameron passed him a soda can and then drank what was left of finn’s beer. 

“Dylan said it was cool and after seeing all the junk food they had, i think we are doing them a favour” Tyler said as he opened the bag and gave it to Alex, thank god, Tyler had found the cheetos, he was starving and he wasn’t a really big fan of chips. 

“Don’t hog the cheetos” Finn said and Alex hug the bag reflexively, he was about to remind him that he doesn’t even like cheetos that much but before he could, Tyler had already say it.

“you don’t even like them that much and besides Alex is not hogging them” when he said that, Alex nodded along to his words, if he was out and his mouth wasn’t full of cheetos, he would have said thanks babe.

“Neither do you, those are Alex’s favorites” Finn said as he ate some of the chips that were still in the table in front of them “you picked them because those are Alex’s favorites and that’s favoritism”

Alex lowkey panics when he hears that, that’s a new change he doesn’t like, he feels paranoid sometimes, when it’s movie night he sits on the floor where he can’t lean on Tyler or he sits far away from in class because he is sure that if he doesn’t, he’ll stare at him instead of working on math, because a voice in his head is screaming someone might notice, someone might see and he wants to reply with “and what? who cares?” but the answer becomes obvious in a couple of seconds: Alex is the one that cares.

“that’s so not true,I don’t play favorites” Tyler said as he put his arms around Cameron affectionately and said “i love Cameron and all of you non-Camerons the same”

“Aww, love you too, babe” Cameron says as he squeezed Tyler’s arm casually, that’s when Finn finally drops the topic, Alex is relieved and he passes him some cheetos to make sure that he won’t complain later.

No that it mattered anyway because that’s when Mackenzie comes over and asks Finn if he wants to dance so he stands up and drops the rest of the cheetos in Cameron’s hands, Alex honestly hopes he eats them because otherwise that’s wasted food.

After that they just stay there talking for awhile, they were talking about what they were going to do in their trips, Cameron talks about how this trips feels like an strange surprise for him, they haven’t gone there for a couple of years but he likes the idea, he wants to have a good time with his mom and Haanish even if it kind of came out of nowhere and apparently Tyler was going to be completely booked, Jeremy had so many different plans, he has bought tickets for some concerts and stand up shows, he might even teach him to ride a motorcycle, Alex just knows that his mom would never even let him lay a hand on a motorcycle without covering him on bubble wrap, a helmet and one hundred pads.

That’s when a girl walks by, he is pretty sure that he has never seen her before, she probably doesn’t go to their school and it’s probably one of Dylan’s relatives or something like that but it’s not like she introduced herself to them,she just walks up to them, looked at Cameron and Tyler and said “You guys make such a cute couple”.

She doesn’t really give them a chance to say anything in return, she just walks away and after a couple of seconds, they both cracked into laughter, Alex laughed too even if his was more restrained, just for the record Alex is not jealous of Cameron, there is absolutely no reason to be, he knows that he is as straight as an arrow and that him and Tyler are just best friends but it bothered him that he called Tyler “babe” even if Cameron has been calling him that for years and he knows that it’s more like a running joke than anything to them, he knows the type of relationship they have, he remembers how one time Cameron almost started dating this girl but she asked him to stop spending so much time with Tyler because she thought it was weird that they would spent so much time together or were so close because he is bi so he could easily cheat on her with him so Cameron broke it off before it even started, he even remembers telling hugo that he thought she was dumb because Cameron would never cheat on anyone, he is too loyal and just because Tyler is bi, that doesn’t mean he likes everyone, also what type of dumbass who knows both Cameron and Tyler would ask them to choose.

Now he would never ask Tyler to chose because first that’s idiotic, second no one could ever compete with Cameron and win and third the idea of asking someone to stop hanging with his best friend is cruel and stupid.

Maybe he wishes that he could call Tyler “babe” as casual as Cameron does and don’t care the same way Cameron does, he used to not care, that’s the first thing he told Elena when she came out was “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, it’s not like you’ll be in trouble, i mean who cares, right?” Again, he almost wants to tell himself “You, you care, apparently”.

“Hey babe,” Cameron says interrupting Alex’s thoughts “that girl is making eyes at me, so we have to break up i hope you understand”

“Oh,i’m gravely wounded and i’ll never forgive you” Tyler said with fake sadness, Cameron chuckled before walking away.

“So i heard that you just got out of a relationship” Alex said as he scoot over closer to Tyler who turned to look at him with a smile “can i offer you...i don’t know...a shoulder to cry on?...chetos?...revenge?”

“I didn't know that you were into roleplay” Tyler replied, Alex simply nudged him, they were both laughing but then Tyler stood up suddenly and took the cheetos and he made a gesture with his hands that basically said follow me. 

So Alex stood up and walked behind him, he wasn't sure where he was going but he knew that they were going to go through the dance floor of the death so that gave him a excuse to hold Tyler's hand. 

They made it through and he was still holding Tyler's hand and he still had no idea of where they were going when they got to the bottom of some stairs,he was about to ask when he felt a hand in his shoulder, he turned around to see Chloe. 

“hi Alex, hey Tyler, how are you guys doing?” she asked them, she was nearly yelling because of how loud the music was. 

“Just chilling, how are you?” Alex said and Tyler nodded as he pull his hand away. 

“I'm fine, I was going to ask you if you two would like to dance with me and my friend?” she asked and pointed at a cute blonde that was standing a few feet away. 

That's when Alex got an idea. 

“I would love to but I can't” he said as he put his arm around Tyler, somewhat awkwardly “I drank a little too much and now I feel dizzy”. 

“I'm taking him upstairs so he can lay down” Tyler added. 

“oh, do you need any help?” she offered but they both shook their heads. 

“don't worry about it, I got him” Tyler said and she gave him the thumbs up as they went upstairs. 

They stayed like that until they got to the second floor, Alex was still not sure of where they were going until Tyler opened the door and said “can you believe this place has 5 bathrooms?”

“yes, rich people are ridiculous” he said as he walked behind him, wondering why the bathroom looked better than his own bedroom.

“hey, I know I never asked but what happened with chloe?” he asked awkwardly sitting in the verge of the bathtub “you don't have to tell me if you don't want to”

“You know about that?” he asked automatically, he had assumed that Tyler didn't mention it before because he just hadn't seen the pictures or he didn't care. 

“Dude, it was all over your insta” he says, he sounds a little bitter even if it is being hidden by Tyler trying to make his tone of voice as calm and casual as possible “sorry, i’m not mad that you went out with her, that would be dumb, I guess I'm just I'm a tiny bit jealous, it's nothing”

Alex doesn't know what to say right away so instead he sits next to Tyler and he holds his hand before saying “a couple of minutes ago I was a tiny bit jealous of Cameron” It takes a second for Tyler to realize that he is serious “so I think I win”. 

Tyler cackles and squeezes his hand, it's unflattering but Alex loves it,because he has realized that is Tyler's real laugh and he usually tries to keep it down or cover it up but Alex loves it when he doesn't. 

“dumbass, this isn't a competition” he said shaking his head trying to look serious and failing but then he put his hands on his shoulders and said “and just so you know you have nothing to worry about Cameron or anyone for that matter I only want to date you”. 

“you don't have to worry about anyone else either” he says and that's when he remembers that there was something he wanted to ask “hey, speaking of dates, i know that boyfriends usually don’t ask each other on dates, i assume that they just go on them but I realized that you and I haven't been on date yet so we should go on one before you go, you know we can go watch the new ant man movie that promises not to be incredibly depressing like the last marvel movie, go for pizza or maybe ice cream, my treat”

“I have never been on a date before so i don’t know how they work exactly but there is no way i’m letting you pay for all of that” a giant smile splits across Tyler’s face and his cheeks are slightly flushed “but yeah, i would love to go on a date with you” 

“Good” he said smiling as he brings a hand up to cup the side of Tyler’s face, he leans into it automatically, he lent down to press a kiss on his lips and Alex raised a hand to gently stroke his hair, he loves how Tyler’s hair feels, he never thought it would feel that way, he remembers looking at Tyler’s long curly hair and thinking that he probably didn’t know what a hairbrush was but he loves the way it feels. 

The position is a little awkward since they are sitting in one of the corners of a bathtub, they break away when he is tugging at Tyler’s curls and he notices that he is starting to slip away from his corner so now he is just pulling his hair when, he helps him to stabilize himself back into place.

“Are you okay?” he asks him, Tyler is laughing so he assumes he is fine.

“Yeah, i just noticed that-” he snorted before finishing the sentence like it was the funniest thing “Have you noticed that our song is playing?” 

Alex rolled his eyes when he said that ever since he told him that one of the thoughts he had during the week leading to their second kiss was “i can’t date him now, our first kiss was to hotline bling by Drake, and if we started dating then that would be our song”, Tyler laughed held his hand and said “and yet, here you are”. 

“that’s not our song” Alex insisted “our song is Not today by twenty one pilots”

“Really?why that one?” 

“It’s the song that played when we kiss for the first time and you picked it so yeah, it’s our song”

“I picked it out at random” Tyler admits with a smirk on his face “but it’s good to know you think about the details babe”.

Tyler lean in and gave him a peck in the lips before pulling away and looking at him with a fond, open smile that crinkled his eyes, he looked like he was about to tell him the most romantic thing that he had ever heard but instead he said “You taste like cheetos”.

Honestly, Alex doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing and his almost automatic response is “you brought them for me” but he doesn’t really get to say anything else because Tyler is leaning in again like he didn’t say anything, Alex notices that Tyler has cheeto dust all over his cheeks and a little bit on his hair which is probably his fault but he doesn’t say anything instead he puts his hands on his shoulders and pulls him closer to close the distance. 

Their lips barely touch when they hear the door open slightly and close just as quick as it was opened. 

They pulled away and stayed there for a couple of seconds, Alex didn't panic right away because it could have easily been stranger but he still stands up and opens the door to see a too familiar face that he had seen for years. 

Hugo was standing there checking his phone like he hadn’t seen anything.

“Hey, have you two seen Cameron?” he asked looking up to them “One of the girls told me that he was in the bathroom but-”

“Yeah, there are like five here, we counted them the last time” Tyler said sounding a little strangled “do you want me to go look for him?”

He wasn’t really asking Hugo, he was looking at Alex like if he was asking him “do you want me to go? do you want me to stay? i’ll do anything you need”, Alex just gave him a quick nod, Tyler gave a few steps back and walked down the hall, Tyler looked back to check on him but after Alex gave him the thumbs up, he keeps walking. 

Alex stayed back with Hugo, both of them in awkward silence, thinking about what to say to each other, what could he even say? i was high, i fell down on Tyler’s lips, my lips and face were cold and he was just warming them up. 

Yeah, no, all of that sounds terrible. 

“You saw it, didn’t you?” he asks, even if he already knows the answer.

“See what?” he asks trying to use his normal tone of voice but his eyes give him away, he was a decent liar but never a great one and after Alex raises one eyebrow, he comes clean “Yeah, i did but we don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, we can talk about something else instead like did i tell you that i finally started to watch the Fyre festival documentary and did you know that this guy was willing to-”

Alex smiles at that, it’s sweet that Hugo seems more than willing to act like he didn’t see anything, if Alex doesn’t want to talk about it so he is obviously looking for a way to change topics.

“It’s not that i don’t want to talk about it, it’s like all of the sudden i’m different and i don’t want to be” he says almost immediately without thinking,Hugo just nods his head a lot like he is trying to tell him that he understands him completely and that everything is okay with just the movement of his head because he is not sure of what to tell him yet “i just don’t want anything to change” 

“Nothing could ever change between us, you know that? you are the only other person here who can actually speak spanish and i would miss your abuelita’s ropa vieja way too much to stop being your friend” He says making Alex laugh “like i know that maybe some stuff would change like when my dad came out,a lot of stuff changed but something that never did was that i love him and that i’m always going to want to spent time with him and the same goes for you”.

Alex smiles when he says that because that’s actually very sweet, Hugo and him had actually been through a lot together, their parents got divorced around the same time so they bonded over that,tha'ts when he realizes that they have been in each other’s life for so long, longer than anyone else in the group,he never made fun of him when he got called “Butt-trunk boy”, he was the only one who understood how he felt when a guy told him to “go back to mexico” or those guys yelled “Build the wall”, when he heard that he felt very alone but then he turned to look at Hugo who yelled back “Imbecil” and he felt less alone. 

When he thinks about it, he is just glad that he is the first person he is coming out to.

So Alex pulls him into a hug, it was only a second before Hugo tentatively hugged him back, and Alex knew Hugo was smiling even if he couldn’t see him.

When they pulled away from each other, Hugo laughed and leaned back against the wall, he didn’t laugh mockingly, he sounds more surprised than anything “Oh my god, i can’t believe you are dating Tyler”

Alex starts laughing too, if he is being honest, he as surprised Hugo, Every time he thinks of kissing Tyler, it almost makes him want to time travel and look for his twelve year old self and tell him in that in three years he is going to be kissing Tyler regularly and looking forward to it, his response would have been to laugh it off but now here he is and he wants to kiss Tyler and it's not really a laughing matter. 

“Yeah, he is my boyfriend” he says for the first time outloud to someone else and it feels amazing.

“Congratulations, man, you two look happy” Hugo said as he patted his back “hey, by the way, what did Elena said? i bet that she was probably so happy that she turned into glitter” 

“Oh,i haven’t told her yet, only you know” he tells him as they walk towards the stairs, he turns and sees that Hugo has a giant somewhat moved smile but he was trying to hide it as well when he said “Well,thank you for telling me”.

They go downstairs, and at the bottom they saw Cameron, Finn and Tyler who were apparently having a heated discussion, when they got there, the first person to talk was Cameron who looked like he was done with life “can you tell Finn that there is not such a thing like weed hangovers?”

“Then why do i feel like shit?” Finn asked which did make them laugh. 

“Because you are shit” Cameron smirked as Finn flipped him the bird “still shit”

“Can we leave the shit talking for another moment?” Hugo said interrupting them “the car is waiting for us outside.

“no shit, you are right” Tyler said with fake shock as they walked towards the door, Hugo turned to Alex giving him a look that basically said can you believe your boyfriend right now.

“Don’t be shitty, Hugo” Alex said which got him both a laugh and a nudge. 

****

The next day, Alex tells his mom the truth (technically) he is going to watch Ant-Man and the Wasp with Tyler, Elena doesn’t really ask him because she is studying for her SAT, he doesn’t tell his abuelita that he is going on a date but she suspects he is when he asks her to spray him with violetas and when he is leaving, Schneider offers to drive him there and he says yes because he is worried that the bus might take too to get there long and he has always loved Schneider’s car and since he is so nervous, the heating seats might call him down.

He changed clothes three times before he got out, he doesn’t even know why he is so nervous, it’s not like he doesn’t see Tyler everyday and kisses him any time he gets the chance, they are dating, they are a couple, they are just going on a date, he has been on dates before, of course those times he dated girls and those dates never went anywhere and now he is going on a date with his serious boyfriend which does make him feel safe because that means that there won't awkward silences or weird small talk, just a couple on a regular date.

“I smell violetas” Schneider says as they get to the mall “big date?”  
Alex almost nods absemiently as he checks his phone and sees that Tyler texted him that he got early,that he already bought the tickets for the movie and that he is waiting for him inside, he texts him back that he’ll meet him there and then responds to Schneider “Just hanging out with a friend” 

“But you like her” He tells him teasingly.

“Him” he corrects him and that’s when he puts his phone back into his pocket and that’s when he notices the look on Schneider’s face, like he had just connected two dots and it takes a bit for Alex to realize what dots he just connected by the way he says “OH”. 

Crap, did he just came out to Schneider? 

By accident? 

Is this how he is going to keep coming to people?

“That’s awesome, dude” he said like nothing had happened in the last two minutes “have fun on your date” 

“Thanks” he says partly relieved, he didn’t want to make this into a big deal and his boyfriend was also waiting for him inside so he couldn’t stay for long but before he gets out “hey, can you like not tell anyone for now?”

He looks like he is trying to catch up like he is just realizing that no one else knows but him, he nods and then puts his hand on his shoulder and tells him “i got it, don’t worry about it, but i need to know who this mystery dude is and give him a stern talk-”. 

“Oh, there is no mystery guy, it’s Tyler” he admits waiting for his reaction. 

“Oh Tyler?” he said with a mild surprise “the kid who once wore two different shoes and didn’t notice until he was in school, he is now your Tyler”

“Yeah” he said with a smirk “my Tyler”

“Okay so we are safe then,” he said making Alex laugh as he stopped the car “i’m still giving him that talk”

“Goodbye Schneider” he said but when he was about to get out of the car, Schneider pulled him into a bear hug and patting him in the back like he was trying to tell him how proud he was of him without saying it, Alex hugs back and says “thank you, Schneider”. 

****  
He gets there a little late but Tyler is already in the line with two sodas and their tickets, Alex offers to go buy the popcorn but Tyler opens his jacket and shows him that he brought basically a whole minibar from his house, Alex tells him almost immediately “my mom is going to love you”. 

They sit down at the back of the room and then movie starts, when it does, he feels Tyler's hand on top of his and he automatically intertwines their fingers and feels like even if ant man is not his favorite superhero, this is going to be one of his favorite movies based on the company alone. 

As the movie continues, Alex felt Tyler’s head on his shoulder like he does when they are having a movie night in Tyler’s house but this feels different, he can’t really explain it until he remembers what Elena said about going out with Syd and how it felt so good to be out as a couple and when he drops his nose into Tyler’s hair and nuzzles into it, he thinks that finally gets it, it’s not just the head but also their hands intertwined, making each other laugh, enjoying each other’s company and being just a lazy, carefree couple watching a movie.

Tyler turns to look at him, offering him twizzlers, but Alex pulls his face towards him and presses a kiss to the grin on Tyler’s mouth. 

“i was just offering you food, i refuse to be one of those people who make out during marvel movies” Tyler whispers and points at the girl and boy in front of them who were frantically kissing in front of them, Alex let out a hushed laugh and takes one of the twizzlers 

Also Tyler might not want to be one of those couples but when Alex puts his arm around him, he kisses his cheek and then he cuddles closer to him which means that he is okay with being one of those couples that is okay with PDA, after all he was always a hugger. 

When the movie ends, including the post-credits scene obviously, honestly he is disappointed that it wasn’t a scene of an awkward date between scott Lang and Agent Woo, they stand up ready to go for pizza and ice cream, when Tyler bends down to pick up a bag full of milky ways that was in one of his pockets as he was doing that, he reached and held Alex’s hand, that’s when Alex notices a woman giving them some sort of dirty look, he shakes it off at first because he thought that she was mad that they brought food from outside but by the way she pulls her son a side makes Alex realize that it’s something else. 

He thinks about letting Tyler’s hand go but instead he holds it tighter, mostly because he doesn’t want Tyler to notice and also because he felts like if he lets it go, she wins. 

“I cannot believe you finished all the gobbers” Tyler said as they start getting out of the movie theater and pass the woman who was looking at them.

Alex continues to keep on talking so he can forget about her, he’ll much rather think about gobbers “I’ll make it up to you, my mom bought every box gobbers at a gas station when they were mislabeled at forty nine cents, she also told me that you can keep popcorn fresh if you bring it in a shower cap”

“That’s so cool” Tyler said sounding genuinely impressed “Your mom is like a literal genius,i have been wondering how to do that for years and never thought of that” 

“Not that you have to win her over because she already likes you but you should 100% say that next time you see her, just in case” he says as they get on the escalator so they can go to the second floor for ice cream.

“In all honesty, i’m more worried about your abuelita, i know how important she is to you and i want her to like me” Tyler admits and Alex smiles almost immediately, it just means a lot how Tyler knows how important and how much he loves his family, especially his abuelita. 

“She is going to love you even if you are not cuban” he says and leans in so he can kiss him but he remembers that lady looked at him and he chickens out but still manages to kiss his cheek instead, when he does, he gets a whiff of- “are you wearing cologne? I thought you only wore it on special occasions”

“Well,You are pretty special” Tyler said looking particularly smug as they get off the escalator and walk away. 

Now Alex is blushing because that comment is sweet but he is also so sure that the main reason Tyler is using cologne is just to say that line.

“You have been practicing that line all day, haven’t you?” he asks him teasingly. 

“You’ll never know,” he replied laughing which most likely meant that he had “come on, let’s go get pizza”

They go to the restaurant, sit on a booth, they are sitting at opposites sides as they both read the menu and for a couple of minutes, Alex feels like an adult, until they look at each other over the menus and starts laughing for absolutely no reason, they end up agreeing on sharing a pizza and two glasses of lemonade, they sit on comfortable silence until Alex gets an idea, he stands up and sits next to him and then for good measure, slides closer to him, takes out his phone and kisses Tyler’s cheek for a picture that he is not going to be able to publish on instagram but it doesn’t matter. 

“You could have given me a warning” Tyler says but Alex thinks that the look of absolute genuine surprise and happiness on Tyler’s blushing face in the picture is worth it and seems to agree when a second after seeing the picture, he says “send it to me later”

“I will” he says and puts his cellphone on his pocket and decides that maybe it’s the best time to tell him “hey so i told Schneider”

“About us?” he asks sounding both shocked and cautious, when Alex nodded a grin broke on Tyler’s face “How did it go?”

“It went well” he smiled as he felt Tyler’s hand holding his under the table “but he wants to give you the shovel talk next time he sees you”

“That’s good, i’m looking forward to it” Tyler said sounding incredibly excited, that’s when the waitress comes back with two glasses of lemonade and says that their pizza would be ready in a minute. 

“I feel like your whole family is going to give me a giant shovel talk” Alex says right after she goes, Tyler laughs when he says that “i’ll be honest with you i’m terrified of Jeremy”

“it’s just because he looks like a my chemical romance reject but he is basically harmless” he says as takes a sip of his lemonade “you should be scared of Jill, she is the one who used to box, not that you need to worry because she likes you a lot, they all do, even Jeremy, he is just a little awkward with strangers but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you”.

“I feel safe” Alex said and then added “then i should only be worried about Cameron then”

“I actually think he is going to be thrilled about this” he says with a smile but he notices the tiniest flicker of sadness seems to darken his smile,he is about to tell him about how Hugo knows now and he is more comfortable with the idea of him telling Cameron but then he notices that is not really about it by the way he sights, he looks awkward as he pulls away slowly and then makes a face before saying “I want to tell you something but i don’t want to talk about it again and i don’t want to make it into a thing, okay?”

“Sure” Alex said immediately even if he wasn’t sure what he was about to say. 

“You know how i talked about the Owen thing” he said fidgeting with his hands “It didn’t really happen how i said that it happened, that’s why i didn’t tell anyone”. 

Alex can feel his heart on his throat but he keeps a calm expression when he asks “what happened?”

“He didn’t actually walked me home, he said that he was going to take me out for food and he did but then we were in the middle of a street that i didn’t really recognize and maybe i should have noticed that something was off but i didn’t because i’m stupid” you are not stupid Alex thinks as Tyler continues with the story “he bought me a sandwich and said that i should thank him so i said thank you like an idiot”

“You are not an idiot” Alex says out loud this time and held his hands.

“i was going to pay him back but then he tried to kiss me and panicked, i don’t know if it was because i realized that he was four years older than and that actually freaked me the fuck out or why but i just jumped back and throw the sandwich on the floor and i told him that i would walk myself home but then he started yelling and it wasn’t-he was just saying bullshit you know? like how i was probably not really bi and only faking it for the attention”

“that’s some bullshit, you just didn’t want to” Alex agrees and nods even if he wants nothing more than to fly to wherever that idiot is and scream he just didn’t want to kiss you, dick.  
“eventually he left but i couldn’t call my sister,i didn’t want her to see me like that i was still a little high and i was crying and i couldn’t tell her why because she has sacrificed so much for me already and i’m just going to go up to her and be like yeah i vaped because i really liked this guy who turned out to be a dick, i couldn’t bring myself to do it” he said shaking his head like he was reviving that night for a couple of second but then he tried to lighten the mood by saying “so i called Cameron who now thinks i like douchebags so i think this news might take a weight off of him”.

Alex really wants to drop this topic too and make a lighthearted joke but he also needs Tyler to hear this “Nothing that happened that night was your fault, okay?” Tyler nods but Alex can see in his eyes that he doesn’t really believe it “You thought you were with a decent person but it turned out that it was a dick and that’s not really your fault” 

“Yeah,” Tyler says like he is thinking about it for the first time “Cameron said the same thing but he was also making very detailed plans to burn Owen’s car so i wasn’t sure if he was thinking clearly”

“Oh, i think he was” Alex says letting out a soft chuckle as the pizza finally arrives.

“Alright, no more sad talk, let’s just eat” Tyler announces as he starts to eat one of the slices and offers one to Alex who takes it right away but before they he starts eating he does tell him “thank you for telling me” and kisses his cheek.

****

After the pizza,they go for ice cream and get on the bus so he can take Tyler home, technically he could stay on the bus and go home right away but he wants to say goodbye to Tyler in a place that doesn't smell like feet. 

So he gets off the bus with Tyler and walks him to the door, the lights are still on which means that his sister and Sarah are still awake and watching tv in the living room but the blinders are close so they have privacy. 

“So I had fun today,” Tyler says even if he looks a little unsure, then he shook his head and whispered “I'm sorry I don't know how dates end”

“Well, it usually ends with a kiss but only if you want” he said as he gave a step forward, Tyler softly chuckled and his cheeks turned into a bright pink. 

“you don't have to make excuses, I'm going to kiss you anyway, dummy” he snorts and wraps his arms around him and pressing his lips against his own, that's another thing that he likes about kissing Tyler, the familiarity of it, it feels like every time he sees him inching closer there is a campfire in his chest because he knows exactly what it’s coming, it’s not perfect, not really, It’s always a little awkward and a little fumbling but it feels like every time they kiss their lips fit together more easily each this time.  
It’s familiar in a different way too,the easiest way to explain it is that when they were twelve, he used to ruffle Tyler's hair and Tyler would turn to look at him with fake offense as he said “You ruined it”, Alex used to think that it was the funniest thing but now when he raises his hand to cup Tyler’s hair and runs his fingers through it, it's different even if it is the same hair and they are still the same people. 

It’s both familiar and different at the same time and there is no way to explain it but he could kiss him for eternity and never get bored but now Tyler is leaving for a couple of weeks and some exaggerated, pretty dramatic part of him is saying “we are going to die without this”, even if he survived three years without kissing Tyler perfectly fine. 

Tyler breaks away from the kiss for a moment, Alex glances into his eyes looking for signs of discomfort in case he doesn’t want him to kiss him again, but Tyler beams and nods like he already knows what he thinking about so Alex is the one that moves in first this time an grabs the back of Tyler’s neck pulling him closer to him and kisses him and when he feels the brush of a thumb over his cheekbone, he knows that he is actually going to die without this. 

He is not sure how but he is going to die without Tyler caressing his cheek, without his warm smile, without the way he always opens his eyes slowly after a kiss and the smiles he has before he moves in closing the distance, without him kissing him gently before deepening the kiss. 

Alex knows that he should be heading home already, his cell phone is vibrating which means that his mom is texting him which means that he is about to get phone call telling him that he is grounded for missing his curfew and he should go before that, he knows, what he doesn't know is why Tyler and him are kissing like he is going to war tomorrow.

It feels like there are two voices inside of his head saying “you need to stop you are in public what if someone sees? We should be home already, you need to let go and say goodbye” and another one that is saying “NO, we are not seeing him for weeks, just five more minutes”. 

When Alex finally pulls away Tyler still has his hands on his shoulders and hugs him, Alex automatically hugs him back and says “have a safe trip, okay?“

“i will, it's not like I'm flying with spirit airlines” he says which makes Alex laugh and shake his head a little bit as he pulls away from the hug “text me when you get home, okay?”

“okay” he says before giving him a quick peck and running away because otherwise he knows that he is not going to leave. 

He doesn't really text Tyler when he gets home instead he texts him as soon as he gets on the bus. 

Like he said this is some next level cheesy dumbasery. 

****

It's been a couple of days since Tyler left for New York and Alex is fine, everything is fine, they have been texting and video chatting and he sends him pictures that he has taken so yeah things are fine. 

Alright things not fine, technically they are but Alex has been inside of his bedroom listening to an Enrique Iglesias song called “cuando me enamoro” on repeat like some sort of love sick idiot. 

It hasn't helped that him and Elena have been at each other's throats lately, maybe it's because he is moody since Tyler left and she is stressed out about her S. A. T. S. 

When he tells his mom that he wants to go on vacation, he is not expecting anything to come out of it, especially not actually going on vacation but a couple of hours later he is packing and the next thing he knows they are on their way to San Diego. 

Not like the way there is easy, with his never ending fights with Elena, his Mami screaming and Elena's throwing up, it felt like they were there forever. 

He even lost his chance to make an “i don't feel so good” joke. 

When they get to the hotel room, his mind is pretty much blown,sure, he is going to have to share bed with Elena but he can live with that, of course the lack of privacy means that he won't be able to video chat with Tyler later but he’ll send him videos and photos to make up for it. 

Also he hadn't really thought about labels that much but when he sees a group of girls playing volleyball and nods to himself thinking “yep, i’m bi, definitely bi”, he thinks about turning around and telling Elena that but mami and abuelita are there and yeah, he is not there yet and then Tio Tito appears and it all takes a mental backseat because he is taking them to a restaurant on a boat. 

They have a good time, his abuelita is telling stories and his mom and tio tito are getting along for a few minutes and it feels like safe moment to stand up and call Tyler, maybe video chat if he is not too busy but when he tells them that he is going to the deck to take some photos for his insta, his mami tells him to go with Elena, he wants to protest but she won’t let him, it’s not even like Elena wants to hang out with him so he doesn’t get why she has to go with him, he is not going to go overboard, he has watched the two movies of it tought.

It actually turns out to be a good idea to go with Elena, sure he might not be able to talk to Tyler directly but he gets a good picture to send Tyler and learned new words, he also feels like him and Elena are finally out of their never ending arguments phase and just when he is about to tell her, his abuelita walks in with a sad expression so he tries to make her laugh by teaching Elena how to “smeyes”, it’s not completely successful but abuelita lets out a laugh here and there so he calls it a win.

Eventually everything is fixed, Tio Tito comes over and him and abuelita made up, he promises to visit them more and Alex honestly hopes that he does, Elena throws up and he gets to reply to a couple of text messages that Tyler sent, turns out he is going to a concert tonight so it’s okay if he is busy and they can’t skype tonight. 

At the end of the night, they go back to the hotel room, honestly, Alex was not planning on falling asleep right away but he laid in bed for a second and fell asleep before he knew it, when he wakes up, he starts to open his eyes, he yawns and stretches his arms, when he opens his eyes, Elena is walking around the room, learning her 1,000 words, he thinks about offering to quiz her but he is just getting up so his brain is not going to work properly until he spends at least 10 minutes on his phone. 

“Where are mami and abuelita?” he asks as he turns around and moves the pillows looking for his cellphone. 

“Tio Tito took them to the bar downstairs” she tells him but her eyes are still focused on her cards. 

“Have you seen my phone?” 

“Yeah, it’s charging over there” she said pointing next to a wall, Alex stood up to go for it “oh, by the way, Tyler called”

“Did you answer it?” he asks trying not to look too nervous when she nods “Oh, what did he said?” 

“He was about to go to a concert and he wanted to show something but said he’d call later” Elena said and Alex walked over the other side of the room and picked up his phone “Are you okay? You look weird, is everything okay with Tyler? did he fought with his brother?”

“Oh no, they don’t fight, everything is fine,” he said simply as he unblocked his phone “the last problem Jeremy had was with his neighbor because he told him that in his opinion he acted real serial killery but everything is fine now”

“What?” Elena asked confused. 

“that’s all he said, the guy moved out end of the story” he said with shrug. 

“i swear that family has the weirdest stories” she said as she went back to the cards and maybe it’s that it feels like the right moment or well, the right moment was a few hours ago but he is worried that he won’t have another chance so he goes for it, he takes a deep breath, sits next to her and thinks of way to start what he wants to say but at the end all he thinks about is FUCK IT, JUST SAY IT but his mouth doesn't really says it.

“Elena, i like-” he says but Elena doesn’t seem to get it because she was too focused on her cards and now she is just looking at him with this lost and confused expression so Alex opts for his plan b "Did i ever told you that Tyler sister talked to an exorcist once and she told her that when a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore” 

"Why was she talking to an exorcist?" Elena asks with a lifted eyebrow.

"Not the point," Alex said looking at her eyes, starting to feel nervous, maybe Elena fells that because she has this confused expression on her face turns into concern "the point is that ghosts are not able to be homophobic and that means that ghost abuelito is very proud of us two, yeah, both of us, i have a boyfriend now, by the way, well more like BI-”.

Next thing Alex knows he is on the floor and thinking “what the fuck?”.

“Sorry, i’m so sorry, i was trying to hug you and i don’t know what happened”, she says and next thing he knows, she jumps out of the bed and runs to where he is and pulls him into a hug “this actually kind of explains why you were listening to Enrique Iglesias this whole week” but Alex can’t really complain because the next thing she says when she starts hugging him tightly is “I’m so proud you”

“I’m proud of us too” he says and returns the hug, not really sure of what else to say or what to do until a second passes by before Elena says "so you like both broccoli and cauliflower".

They both break into laugther when she says that and he can't believe that she still remenbers that because it feels like it was a lifetime ago but when they pull away from each other, she says a little serious this time "So you are bi" it's more of a statement than a question but he nods anyway and she smiles at him looking so proud and happy that it feels like she is sending all those feelings to him and maybe that's exactly what he needed beause that's when he says it in the exact same way he did when Elena came out to him "yeah, i'm bi but i mean who cares, right?".

She pulls him into another hug and says "good brother".


	4. cecily smith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming out to Elena is a whole different experience from coming out to Hugo or Schneider, not just because this time he was actually trying to come out and it wasn’t an accident but because sometimes it feels like Elena knew he was bi before he did. 
> 
> Like the other day, she told him “i kind of suspected it a little bit because of your crush on Josh”.
> 
> Alex was ready to laugh and roll his eyes, he never had a crush on Josh Flores, he just thought he was cool, he was the captain of the baseball team after all ,he wasn’t going to deny he was good looking, sure, he looked great with the tux he got to be Elena’s escort, he still remembers when- “OH GOD,WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”
> 
> “why didn’t I tell you that you had a crush on Josh Flores?” she asked him with a lifted eyebrow “isn’t that kind of outing you...to yourself?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title to this was going to be Let’s be obligatory mushy and overly sentimental like if it was 2006 but i chicken out, also if any of you guys wants to talk to me about the story or anything, my tumblr account is "@multigloria".

Coming out to Elena is a whole different experience from coming out to Hugo or Schneider, not just because this time he was actually trying to come out and it wasn’t an accident but because sometimes it feels like Elena knew he was bi before he did. 

Like the other day, she told him “i kind of suspected it a little bit because of your crush on Josh”.

Alex was ready to laugh and roll his eyes, he never had a crush on Josh Flores, he just thought he was cool, he was the captain of the baseball team after all ,he wasn’t going to deny he was good looking, sure, he looked great with the tux he got to be Elena’s escort, he still remembers when- “OH GOD,WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”

“why didn’t I tell you that you had a crush on Josh Flores?” she asked him with a lifted eyebrow “isn’t that kind of outing you...to yourself?”

He is still not sure of how to answer that, all he knows is that someone should have let him know, he didn’t knew, like in harry potter, when you are a wizard you get a letter telling you about it and you know, that’s exactly how things should work, someone should have let him know that he was bi and had a crush on Josh Flores but when he tries to argue about it, Elena simply tells him to remember that she is lesbian jesus and she knows what she is doing.

She also invited them to a double date when Tyler comes back, at first he thought that it could actually be fun, Syd and Tyler could get along, Tyler already likes Elena, it could be good but then Elena said that they should go with them to the heart healthy fun run on San Valentine’s day and he is not going to do that, not only for himself but because he is not going to make Tyler the least athletic person he knows run a marathon.

In theory everything is fine until they go back home, he shows her the picture with Tyler at the restaurant and she says “that’s so cute, how long have you two been together?” 

Alex was about to answer but then he realized that he doesn’t know, this wasn’t a cheesy love story like Elena and Syd, sure, Alex and Tyler are cheesy now but they didn’t get together sharing a cookie, they got together because of a dare and there were those weeks in which he ignored Tyler, after that they made up and were back to good and then there was this period in which they were kissing each other without labels, finally he called Tyler his boyfriend which made everything clear, there was the first date but they were already boyfriends then so...yeah, he is not sure.

He does explain the whole thing to Elena because he would rather tell her all of that than to say that he doesn’t care enough to remember.

Elena just responds by telling him “Well, i’m happy for you and i wish you good luck trying to figure out when your anniversary is”

He throws a pillow at her but promises himself that he’ll ask Tyler the next time he calls, however he forgets when he gets a video call from him and the first thing he sees is Tyler wearing Alex’s shirt, fuzzy pajama pants and his old glasses. “Don’t laugh, i just woke up”

“I actually think that you look really freaking cute right now” he said which caused Tyler to roll his eyes but he gave him a warm smile right after that.

“What time is it?” Tyler yawned. 

“it’s two o’clock, sleeping beauty” he replied teasingly. 

 

“Jeremy took me to this Bob Dylan’s concert last night and we came back on his motorcycle and we weren’t sleepy yet so we made lasagna and we fell asleep around four a.m.” he showed him a plate of lasagna that was on a night stand next to him “we made too much and since Jeremy is still asleep, i’m just going to eat lasagna for breakfast”

“You are honestly living the dream” he said as he saw Tyler take a bite of the lasagna “it sounds like you two had fun, there is no way that my mom would let go to a concert in at night”

“Jill and Jason wouldn’t let me either but they don’t know” he admitted with a mischievous smile.

“Oh feeling rebellious, aren’t we?” Alex said as he stared at Tyler, it had been a while since he saw him with the glasses, he remembers how magnified eyes looked like.

“Yeah, that’s me committing acts of teenager rebellion like going to concert with my older brother” Tyler said as he tried to do some sort of hair flip but that caused his glasses to fall off “oh shit”

Alex burst into laughter immediately, Tyler rolled his eyes but he was laughing too, he picked up his glasses as he shuffle through some stuff that was on top of the bed like he was trying to hide something from him “What is that?”

“You’ll have to wait to San Valentine’s day to find out” he said as he put a pillow on top of it. 

“That’s too long” he said but Tyler simply shrug “fine, i’ll wait, by the way Iike your shirt”

“you know that flattery will get you nowhere with me” he said even if he sounded flustered “but thanks It’s my favorite” 

it was one of Alex’s favorites too, it was a black one with the spiderman logo, it’s old, his papi bought it for him, then he stood up Elena at her quinces and it stopped being his favorite, he stopped wearing it and it stayed at the bottom hidden under a bunch of other shirts, he never thought that there would be a way of it becoming his favorite again but now he smiles everytime he sees it. 

“i think it looks better on you than it did on me” Alex said making Tyler shake his head automatically

“You know what they say” Tyler said as he took off his glasses “love makes you blind”

“Do you always have to make bad jokes?” he laugh and shook his head

“You know you love it” he wiggled his eyebrows trying to be as obnoxious as possible, Alex smiled fondly as he shook his head and told him “you are such a dumbass”

“and you are the one dating me, so who is the real dumbass?” 

Alex is not sure of how to argue with that logic but he settles for saying “can we just agree that we are both dumbasses?” 

“okay dumbass” Tyler laughed “ before i forget, did i tell you that Elena started to follow me on instagram?” 

“That’s great but don’t let her rope you into this crazy marathon for San Valentine’s day” 

“Dude, one time i fake fainted in P.E. so i wouldn’t have to take the class, you think that i’m going to voluntary run a marathon?” 

“Right,that was an oscar worthy performance” he said remembering how Tyler dramatically flopped into the ground dramatically, if he hadn’t given them a warning, he would have actually been worried. 

“Thank you” he said sounding oddly proud “and it’s not like i’m a dick that doesn’t have a heart and doesn’t want to help people but-”

“it’s our first San Valentine’s day together” Alex completed his sentence and Tyler nodded “and it’s not like i want to be some lovey dovey couple but i think that we should do the whole cliche, flowers, chocolates and i don’t know, dinner at some fancy ass restaurant” 

“Oh, yeah we have to be obligatory mushy and overly sentimental” 

“Even more than any other couple” 

“It’s not a competition but i’m down for that”

“cool, because I already have an strategy to win”

“I'm so sure that there is no way to win San valentine's day” Tyler said but he looked amused. 

“maybe I'm just making excuses to kiss you again” Alex says as he sees a sudden glint in Tyler’s eyes that excites him.

“Then your whole strategy should be to take me to a bad movie so I won't pay attention to it and make out with you the whole time” he replies and Alex sees how there's a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth "but honestly you just exist and i want to kiss you all the time so you don’t need to make excuses”.

“You need to get back here so that i can kiss you”

“I’ll be back in a few weeks and we’ll kiss as much as we want and we’ll go to the movie theater” Tyler said before he grabbed something from behind him and pulled out a green jacket “with this”

“A jacket?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“This is not just any type of jacket, this is THE jacket,this bad boy has so many pockets that can beat any cargo pant, i’m telling you” Tyler sounds so genuinely excited that Alex couldn’t help to think it’s adorable, especially when he says “It has inside pockets”. 

“That’s so cool” he says just when he hears someone calling Tyler from another room, it sounded like Jeremy who had just woke up, Tyler rolled his eyes, annoyed by the interruption but he still tells him “Hey, i have to go but i’ll call you later, i promise”

“It’s all cool” Alex says even if he is a little disappointed “we can talk later”

****

Alex was done helping his abuelita when saw that he had just gotten a voice message, at the beginning he thought it was Tyler but it wasn’t, he took the phone and saw that Finn had send him the voice message.

He pressed play and waited to hear what it said “Hey, i finally watched queer eye, just finished all three seasons, i was thinking about what to watch next but i might just rewatch it because i’m worried that it might get cancelled, you know how Netflix can be a bitch to good shows and i must say that i saw no promotion for this even when it won an emmy, did you know it won an Emmy?”

Alex was about to text about how he did know about the Emmy win and how Finn is late to the party but Finn send a second voice message. 

He pressed play again hoping to hear him talk about all of his favorite moments and episode and instead heard “my parents are getting a divorce”. 

There is a pause in the message and he can imagine Finn trying to get his thoughts into place.

“can I call you if you are not busy, it's okay if you can't answer right now” 

Alex types back as quickly as possible “yeah, call me, no problem”. 

The phone call comes in almost immediately and when Alex answers it, he is not sure of what he is expecting sadness, relief, anger or it could be all of them together. 

“Hey so as you can imagine i’m coming back home early and Dylan has tickets for Bud E. fest” Or he could be deflecting, he didn’t think of that one “I already asked Cameron and Hugo, they’ll be back by then so i already bought our tickets in other words you can’t say no” 

“Uhh-”

“Whiz Khalifa and Willie Nelson are going to be performing there is something for everyone” he says, he can hear him eating, he is not sure of what or if he should ask because it seems like Finn is just going to keep talking “it’s sad that Tyler can’t come, that boy could sneak anything there but he won’t be back till then so yeah”

“Yeah, knowing him, he would be more excited about Willie Nelson” 

“Yeah, it would” he said with a snort “we could set him up with another Willie Nelson fan”

He is not sure of how to reply to that, he laughs but it sounds forced even for his own ears, Finn is quiet after that like he is thinking about what else to say and he is not sure if he needs a confrontation or a distraction so he stays quiet too, now they are stuck in this awkward silence and he doesn’t know what to do. 

“I know that i said that this is what i wanted but-” he says and stops mid sentence, Alex waits patiently for him to find the right words “not this way you know? they are supposed to sit me down and tell me that they are getting a divorce but that this changes nothing and that we are still a family, instead they get into a huge fight in the middle of a restaurant where everyone is looking at us and then they talked about how a baby didn’t save their marriage so obviously a trip wasn’t save their marriage so they might as well get a divorce and i know there are worse things in this life than that so i just want to let it go ” 

Alex doesn’t know what to say right away but the first thing he thinks about is how his papi woke him up in the middle of the night to say goodbye because he was going to kill himself or punched a hole above the bed he shared with his mami but he can tell by Finn’s voice that he is hurting too and he has been told enough times that his feelings don’t matter so he say “yeah, there are worse things but this isn’t a competition”. 

Finn doesn’t reply right away like he is thinking about what Alex just said.

“if it was It would be a shitty competition too” Alex says trying to lighten the mood “like who would win best divorce?”

“Mine would win worst divorce for sure, like imagine trying to tell your son about your divorce but the fight gets so bad that he leaves and you don’t notice”

“They didn’t notice you left?” he asked shocked “you could have gotten taken, you were already in Paris” 

Finn actually laughs out loud when he says that an then adds “yeah the only difference is that it would have been a shorter movie with me because they would have left me there” 

“but you are in your hotel room, right?”

“Yep, eating everything that is in the mini bar, i thought about calling room service but they started to speak in french and i panicked-”

“We took french last year, how did you forget about everything?” 

“Alex, you know perfectly well, that i copied Tyler off in every single one of those exams and same thing with homework”

“Well, he is a good friend” he said sounding maybe a little more smitten than he would have liked.

“He charged me”

“Well, he is smart” he says and Finn laughs again “so you are feeling better?”

“Yeah, can we talk about it more when i’m home”

“Okay” Alex accepts “Now let’s talk about queer eye, i told you that you needed to watch something else besides Rick and morty and Bojack Horseman”

“Those shows are awesome and you know it” Finn says loudly, that’s when Alex puts it on speaker because he is going to be talking about those shows for hours so he might as well multitask and clean his room.

****

Hugo is the first one to come back from his vacation,Finn is coming back in two days with his mom and Cameron will be back in three days, Tyler is going to be there for a few more weeks which means that he is not going to see him until San Valentine’s day but on the bright side it also means that he has time to get him something that he likes for that day. 

He is going out with Hugo today to see what they can buy, he wonders how did his trip go because he is the one who he has talked to the least, the few times he did, he would say that everything was great except for the fact that he had no signal.

Alex is honestly not sure of how did he survived without it.

When he hears a knock on the door and runs to open it before anyone else can, he already had a false alarm a few minutes ago when it turn out to be just Schneider but this time when he opens the door, Hugo is there, he does an small jump and spreads his arms as if he was saying “hug?”, Alex chuckled and and pull him into a hug immediately.

After the hug, he says hi to the rest of the family, he waves to Elena because she doesn’t like being disturbed she is playing video games, fists bump Scheneider while he is playing, he gives his abuelita a hug and she gives him a kiss on the cheek and he walks over to his mami who puts her book down to pull him into a hug.

“Hola señora Alvarez, como esta usted?” he asked her as he pulled away.

“Todo muy bien,Huguito, y tu, que tal el viaje?” she said after patting him in the back

“Ay nada nuevo, surfeamos, comimos, nos divertimos,” he said with a casual shurg “mi Papá le pidió matrimonio a Isaac, nada nuevo” 

Everyone jumped into automatic excitement except for Schneider who asked “wait, what’s an amonio?” 

“Matrimonio” Hugo repeated patiently and added “my dad asked Isaac to marry him”

“No way, Samuel and Isaac are getting married, that’s sweet dude, i’ll congratulate them when i see them in the next baseball game”

“You should congratulate me as well he said with million-dollar smile like if he was about to tell them that he just won the lottery “They want me to be the best man at their wedding”.

“You better wear a nice suit then or a tux” Elena cut in “knowing those two, that’s going to be a fancy wedding” 

“I don’t know the theme of the wedding yet but yeah, esos dos van a tirar la casa por la ventana” He said like if he was picturing the wedding already “they also wanted me to tell you that you are all obviously invited”

“Good, If they want someone to do their choreography for their first dance, they know who to call” said his abuelita pointing at herself. 

“Oh, they’ll call for sure,they still remember your dance moves from my bar mitzvah” Hugo said, they all nodded in agreement, how could they forget, his abuelita stole the show that night. she might have taken the whole dance floor with poor Dr. berkowitz who was trying to keep up with her. 

Now that was night. 

****

Eventually they leave the house but once he gets to the mall, it feels kind of hopeless like there is nothing he can get that would make Tyler lose his mind and he already got something for him so he needs to get him something cool too but he doesn’t know what yet, they go to a bookstore and Hugo gets Camila two books the first one was Backlash by Susan Feludi and the second one Born a crime by Trevor Noah. 

“It’s my way of telling her that i love her and everything that she believes in” he said holding up Backlash on one hand and then lifted born a crime with another one and said “and that i know that she loves Trevor Noah more than she loves me and that’s okay” 

“Elena likes him too,maybe i should get her one of these for her birthday” he said as he checked the books, that’s when he noticed that Hugo was staring at him like he wanted to ask him something “what?”

“Okay, i didn’t say anything that night because i know you and i know that you wouldn’t want to make this into a big deal but i have so many questions” he sounded genuinely excited and a little curious.

“About Tyler?”

“No, about the moon” he said sarcastically but quickly added “Yes, about Tyler and you but we only have to talk about it, if you’re comfortable and if you’re not then that’s fine”

“Ask away, chismoso,” he said, Hugo responded with fake indignation “Elena already interrogated me so i’m ready for anything” 

“Okay so for how long?” 

Goddammit. 

“Fine, don’t judge but we are not sure, we kissed like two weeks after the party but officially got together three days before he went to New York”

“You were kissing him without dating him first,Alex, you can’t be giving it away for free, why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free and WHAT WOULD GOD SAY ABOUT THIS?” he said imitating the voice of sister Barbara’s voice, Alex laughed frantically as the people who were in the line with them gave them the side eye.

“Your impression of Sister Barbara is getting better, congratulations” he said, Hugo mouthed a thank you and bowed like if he was doing some theater production, and Alex asked “alright, next question”

“my actual question was actually how long have you liked him?” he sounds like he is trying to figure out a math problem and can't fully understand it so he needs someone to explain it to him. 

Alex doesn't know when that happened either, it started when he kissed him, it was like seeing Tyler in a whole new light, it was like a sudden realization of something that had been in the back of his mind for a long time but now he had to confront it because he kissed a boy and liked it. 

Then it went from “i like kissing this boy” to “i like this boy” to “i want him to be my boyfriend more than I have ever wanted anything ever”. 

But before he can explain all of that,Hugo talks again “listen if you have secretly liked him this whole time, it's fine, I won't judge”. Alex almost starts laughing but Hugo finishes his sentence “it kind of explains why you wanted to hear nothing about Owen” 

“that guy was an asshole” he says remembering the story Tyler told hin

“yeah but you hated him even before that” 

“Because i could tell that he was a dick” he says, he was pretty clear about not liking Owen, he just thought that Owen was not good enough for Tyler,and he thought that because Tyler was his friend who deserved better,but was he jealous? No, he wasn’t, he just hated how Tyler would drop anything just to catch his attention and how he would smile at him like a total idiot, it just bothered him “even if i was jealous that doesn’t change that he was dick”

“He totally is,worst of the worst” Hugo agreed “my next question is how is dating Tyler? i’m asking because i’ve seen him openly throw popcorn at couples making out in the movie theater”

“Oh yeah, he won’t make out with me during good movies but he is okay with cuddling and he is actually very into PDA, he actually told me to take him to a bad movie for San Valentine’s day so we can make out the whole time” 

“That’s every man’s dream” Hugo says as they finally get to the cashier and passes him the books and the money “we should go on a double date sometime”

“Oh yeah, we totally should” he says but he knows Camila well enough to know that she might try to take them to the same marathon Elena wanted them to go to so he asks “Hey so what are you doing for San Valentine’s day?”

“Oh, we are going to Benihana” 

“great choice” he says and gives him the thumbs up. 

“thanks, what about you two?”

“i don’t know. probably to some random cheesy italian restaurant where we can recreate the lady and the tramp spaghetti scene”

“Wow, that’s very mushy”

“That’s what we are going for” Alex grinned remembering their conversation. 

“Love has changed you” he says as the cashier passes him the receipt and the books, Hugo thanks him and walk away “have you seen anything that Tyler might like? Camila always says that there isn’t a thing like too many books”

“i thought about it but he told me the other day that he is not going to buy more books because he hasn’t finished the ones he got for his birthday” 

“What about clothes?-wait forget it, it’s Tyler who we are talking about here, he doesn’t really care about clothes and this has to be special” 

“Exactly but i don’t know how to make it special” he said feeling a little frustrated, Hugo gave him a pat in the back but then he made an expression like he just got new idea.

“I think i just figure out what the problem is” Hugo said as a slow smile spreads across his face like he just had a brilliant idea “you are here with the wrong person”

“What do you mean?” he said frowning and squinting his eyes 

“You don’t need me, you need Cameron” he said holding Alex by the shoulder as he explained “look who knows Tyler more than him”

“Yeah but what if he tells Tyler? i want it to be a surprise”

 

“Dude,you do realize that we are talking about the same dude who made an elaborate secret plan so that Tyler wouldn’t find out that he was his secret Santa”

“I still don’t know how he forged Finn’s calligraphy”

“That’s the part you are worried about?” Hugo said squinting his eyes “do you remember how he put fake proves inside of Finn’s locker without him knowing” Alex nodded even he thought that Finn was Tyler’s secret santa “The point is that he can keep a secret, specially for Tyler”

“and that he could frame someone for murder if he wanted to” Alex replied. 

“yeah,i’ll be honest, if i had to bury a body i would call him” Hugo said casually but then he turned to another store “damn, i need to get wrapping paper”

“My mom usually makes me re-use wrapping paper” 

“mine too but it’s an special occasion so i’m buying new wrapping paper”

“Oh Fancy” Alex said, Hugo nudged him, laughed and rolled his eyes as they went to a different store.

****  
At the end Alex buys two things: a vape pen and somewhere to hide it for himself and new wrapping paper because it’s an special occasion, he hides it on the way upstairs and puts it under his bed and takes out his laptop and goes through different buzzfeed articles about san valentine’s presents and it’s ready to quit so he goes to instagram instead. 

The first thing he notices is that Tyler just uploaded new pictures, in this one his brother has his arm around him, they probably in his living room, watching a movie together, he notices that Tyler has painted his nails black just like Jeremy, he remembers how Elena met him and thought he was cool because he was going against gender roles and Alex remembers meeting him and thinking that he had an icy glare but Tyler ran to hug him and he said “that’s just the way his face is”. 

Jeremy doesn’t have that icy glare in the picture, he is smiling,maybe for the first time, he realizes how much they actually look alike, even if Tyler still looks more like his dad and Jeremy has big blue eyes and brown hair like his mom, he has long hair, it’s not wavy curly like Tyler’s, it’s straight and thin but when he looks at them like this, he notices that they have the same smile, he reads under the picture and apparently they going to see Hayley Kiyoko tonight, Elena is going to be so jealous.

He ends up checking the rest of his pictures, he doesn’t realize for how long until he finds one that makes him stop, he sees one of Tyler when he was six years old, his hair is longer and looks fluffy, he is hugging another kid and it takes a second to realize who he is, Cameron is there but with a coconut haircut, he is smiling too, he laughs by the caption “Just two little socially awkward kids with our clean socks” and Cameron commented “and crustless sandwiches”.

That’s when he remembers what Hugo told him and writes Cameron a message for them to hang out when he is back, he agrees even if he does sound shocked and surprised by it because they don’t usually hang out by themselves which is true but he doesn’t question it too much.

****

They agree to meet up at an ice cream shop, when he gets there, Cameron is already there but he is not alone, he is talking to Michelle, he is happy to see her, they haven’t talked to each other for a while, he went with her to homecoming last year, after the disaster that was going with Emma and getting ditched in the middle of the dance, going with Michelle was automatically better, that and the fact that she could actually dance and his abuelita liked her automatically because her mom was cuban but they didn’t click, he still remembers the awkwardness of the kiss, it felt like they were frozen that way, the position was weird, to be completely honest the whole kiss was off, he still remembers how they both broke into laughter and agreed to stay friends but they kind of grew apart afterwards which sucked because he actually had a lot of fun with her.

“Hey” he said, Cameron smiled, he gave him a hug and a pat him in the back, Michelle gives him a kiss on the cheek, she explains that she came here with her family and ran into Cameron on the way out “oh, cool what were you guys talking about?”

Cameron opens his mouth to say something but before he says anything else, Michelle starts talking “Cameron pooped on his grandfather”. 

“I was a baby” Cameron says in his defense quickly before Alex can even process the information, how were they casually talking about this? “and Roger is a dick”.

“You make it sound like you could poop on demand” Alex says and Cameron has this expression that basically screams please God just let me die.

“if it helps I think it's cool” Michelle said putting her hand on his shoulder and Cameron’s face quickly turn into disbelief “no, I meant it, like someone tries to attack you or rob a bank, if you throw poop at them, they'll never want to do it again”

“that's so-” 

“no, listen it would be like if Spiderman could throw spiders there would be no criminals left” she says, Alex is honestly ready to explain that Spiderman doesn’t need to change because he is already the best superhero ever.

“that would be an AWFUL superpower” Cameron replies automatically, Alex nods but she ignores them and continues.

“No, it'd be great. Everyone would be too scared to fight back. You would win. World domination” Alex has to accept that is true, you would most likely win if you are fighting with poop but a big part of him is still thinking that it’s most likely not worth it but that doesn’t stop Michelle from continuing with her very weird speech “You deserve an Avengers movie. You know what, I think you could defeat Thanos and become the next Avengers leader. I think-”

“I would be a shitty superhero” Cameron says as he laughs “and i would have have a shitty name to go with it”

“Naming yourself shitty would be kind of edgy” she says, that’s when Alex notices the way she is moving her eyelashes and the sunny grin on her face, wait a second-

“do you think I'm edgy?” Cameron asks back giving one step forward with a wide smile on his face, Alex feels a little invisible and he regrets not inviting Elena, not because he feels like a third wheel because this could be considered the weirdest flirting tactic that he has ever seen and someone should be witnessing this with him.

“you are right, you are too cute to be edgy” she replies quickly and he turns to look at Cameron waiting for his response. 

“Not as cute as you” he almost wants to high five him for that answer, simple but sweet and flattering and now they are both smiling and blushing.

“Honey, are you ready to go?” said Michelle’s dad who was opening the door for her mom who was pulling out a double stroller carefully, her mom turned to look at them and said “Oh, hi Alex,please say hi to your abuelita from me”.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Adams” he said waving at them even if they didn’t looked back at him, they seemed little stressed trying to take out.

"i have to go but it was good to see you” she says with tight lipped smile as she lets go of Cameron’s arm and Alex notices how he smiles back at her with the same amount of sadness, big part of him, thinks dude she is not going to war but then he remembers how he feels every time he leaves Tyler’s house and stays quiet 

“Bye Alex” she said and gave him a pat in the back but turns around and kisses Cameron on the cheek and he looks like he is on some sort of daze as she walks towards the door.

“See you later Mimi” Cameron said making her stop, gave him a soft smile as she disappeared from view.

“Mimi?” Alex asked teasingly with a soft nudge,Cameron had a light blush and was trying to hide it with his hands as they sat down on the table “dude, that’s great”

“Yeah, i have liked her for a while but honestly i never really thought she liked me like that so i didn’t say anything” 

“Okay, two things, she told you that you deserve an Avengers movie and you are going to defeat thanos that’s the most creative pick up line i have ever heard so i’m pretty sure she likes you” he said, Cameron smiles looking down at the menu looking not completely convinced “i know the thing with Mackenzie-”

Cameron groaned and rolled his eyes as soon as he said that “for the last time,I never liked Mackenzie, not like that, everyone just thought i did and it got to the point in which they made it awkward for us to hang out and it felt like we couldn''t be friends anymore"

"Then why were you mad at Finn?" he asked confused.

"I wasn't mad, i was just telling her to be good to her or else, she is like my sister and you know how Finn can be sometimes, he is one of my best friends, like if he needed a liever i would give it to him but he can be dickish”

“Yeah” he admitted. 

“The whole thing was just so completely stupid” Cameron said looking completely annoyed “specially because Finn kept on insisting that i liked her when i didn’t, i think he was trying to look out for my feelings but do you realize how fucking annoying is to keep on repeating that you DON’T like someone for someone to just keep insisting that you do, it just piss me off, i needed to be on my own and by that i mean by myself and Tyler, i’m sorry if i made things weird that week”.

“It’s okay, i get it” he said, he remembers when Finn tried to set him up with Amanda, it was the most stressful week of his life. 

“You want to know something? this whole thing only happened because Mackenzie is a girl and i’m a boy,i never treated her any different from how i treat Tyler, ACTUALLY i'm pretty sure that i am more affectionate with Tyler" 

"You have also called him every single pet name in the history of existence" 

"I took him as my date to two dances and people thought nothing of it but i’m nice to a girl who happens to be my friend and suddenly i’m in love with her?” he said while rolling his eyes “and so many people told me i liked her but i hadn’t notice but i would know, believe me, like i see her the same way i see Tyler, he is my best friend but i don’t want to kiss him”

"Good cause i might have to beat you up if you did” he says with a huff of a laugh but that’s when he notices that Cameron is not laughing, he has this shocked expression of his face, it takes a second for him to realize that Tyler hadn’t told Cameron yet. 

He doesn’t look mad or disappointed, he looks like he is processing the information, the confusion turns into surprise as the realization hits him, Cameron is quiet for a couple of seconds before he says “That explains a lot”

“It does?” Alex asks, not entirely sure of what he is saying, most responses up to now had been completely surprise but had Cameron seen it coming. 

“Yeah, that’s why i left you guys alone at the party,” Cameron explained.

“but the girl-” he said confused.

“There was no girl,” he said with a simple shrug “you two just looked like you wanted to be alone, also you were throwing daggers at me with your eyes”.

“I wasn’t” he said, dammit, he thought he had been more subtle.

“You were but it’s okay, you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend and something tells me he wanted to be alone with you too” he said and let out a laugh “god, he has-no forget it”

“No, tell me” he insisted, Cameron looked at him like if he was debating with himself, if he should tell him or not “come on, tell me”.

“Let’s just say that he has liked you for a while”

“He has?” Alex asked surprised, Tyler hadn’t mention that before.

“He has” he said nodding but then he shook his head “and that’s all i’m going to say because i’m no throwing my friend under the bus”

Alex wants to ask him more about that because he didn’t knew that he liked him before the kiss but he had? for how long? was he jealous when Alex went to the dance with Emma? or when he got set up on a date with Amanda? Did he like him even when he liked Owen? or did it stop and came back when they kissed?

At the end, Alex doesn’t ask any of those questions, mostly because he knows that there is no way of getting that information out of Cameron like this so instead he says “Speaking of your friend, i kind of wanted to ask you if you could help me pick out a san valentine’s day present for him”.

“No” he grinned.

“No?” he frowned but Cameron’s grin just widened,folded his hands continued with what he had to say.

“you don’t want to buy something, you want to make something for him, believe me, he’ll appreciate that ten times more than anything you can get out of a store” 

“Like what?” 

“Something from the heart” Alex was about to tell him that if he wanted to hear that, he should have just gone to Elena instead but Cameron lifts up his hand like he is saying wait, let me finish “i’m not saying give him anything, i mean give him something that feels like some sort of thing that is just about the two of you”

He blinks for a few seconds before an idea hits him like a truck and all he can hope is that Tyler likes it.

“but if i’m being honest you could probably give him anything he’ll love it any other way” Cameron says as if he is reading his mind and Alex feels relaxes when he hears that. 

“Hey, are you two ready to order?” a waitress asked as she walked towards them, they ordered two strawberry and vanilla ice creams, he doesn’t tell Cameron what he is going to give Tyler because he might slip up and tell him, Cameron doesn’t ask either, not even when Alex goes to buy a blank CD afterwards.

****  
Alex knows that he could easily make a custom spotify playlist for Tyler but he remembers how he said that he doesn’t like reading PDF’s, he thought it was because of his eyesight but he admit that it is because he likes to hold things so he is going to make him a CD like if it was 2006. 

He has decided that it’s going to be eleven songs and there are some that just have to be there like hotline bling and not today because of obvious reasons and some that he adds only because they just remind him of Tyler like cuando me enamoro de enrique iglesias, the song talks about falling in love with someone unexpectedly so he finds it fitting, it’s also really upbeat so there is chance that even if Tyler doesn’t understand the lyrics completely, he can still enjoy the rhythm, which leads him to add “Caraluna” by Bacilos because it talks about missing someone and how it feels like every song is about them.

The next is Hooked on a feeling because he still remembers when they watched guardians of the galaxy in a sleepover a year ago and Tyler put his head on his shoulder, the next one is somebody to love because it played when he found out that Emma used him, he was still sulking a little bit but then Tyler grabbed his hands and started sing and dance like a crazy person, he looked ridiculous, he made him laugh and after a few minutes,he completely forgot about her,it wasn’t anything particularly romantic, it was just two friends but the songs are strangely prophetic or maybe they were a sign and he missed it so he adds them 

When Elena and Syd find out they decide to help him, The two of them are way too excited about it, they basically jump next to him to show him LGBT musicians, Elena seems convinced that he should add at least one song by Hayley Kiyoko because apparently she is the actual lesbian jesus, Syd insist that he should put Troye sivan because most MLM’s like troye sivan and he can’t fail if he puts him there but they eventually settle for Teagan and Sarah’s feel it in my bones. 

That's when he goes through Tyler’s music so he can get new ideas, he knows what he likes 80’s music and Broadway shows, he thinks about adding “if could tell her” because it's incredibly romantic same thing with “what the heck I've gotta do?” but he remembers how sad Tyler gets when he talks about all of those songs and he wants Tyler to listen to this to feel better when he is sad, and then he considers “a guy that I'd be kind of into” but decides not to so he keeps scrolling and changing song after song until it gets to this "Never getting rid of me", it's cute but it's comes out a little too strong, very chaotic and has cat mention so he is still not completly convinced but then he finds himself playing it again and again until he decides to add it and makes a mental note to write down "trigger warning:cat mention", then he changes the song again this time to “Accidentally in love”, he remembers hearing him say that he always thought that it was the most beautiful love story so he adds it. 

After that,he adds Rollercoaster by the bleachers because he remembers how Tyler heard it once at a store fell in love with it and looked for it for a week until he found it and when he did he sang it non stop for weeks. 

Then he has to look for the final song so he puts it on shuffle and he keeps on changing the song because none of them fit or feel right. That's when he gets a message from Tyler who is asking him what size are Elena and Syd so he can get them Hayley kiyoko t-shirts, there is one where her face is photoshopped on Jesus's body. 

A second message appears next to a link and it says “also I know you are against hotline bling being our song so I was looking for a new one and I think this one could work”. 

He types back “this better not be the I'm not gay song”. 

Tyler simply responds “LOL, if I was going to troll you like that I would either rickroll you or send you the I'm getting bi song from crazy ex girlfriend so don't worry, it's not”. 

He snorts as he clicks on the link and waits to hear the song, he reads the title “Cecily Smith” by Will Connolly before pressing play, he starts to listen and quickly realizes what parts of the song made Tyler think of him, at the beginning the guy lies to go to a date, the biggest difference would be if he told his mom "Hey mom, I'm off to grab some smokes", she would have grabbed him by the hear and drag him back inside, instead of just asking "Why you need to smoke so late?".

He keeps listening to it and when the guy sings "I hate opera", he can’t help himself and sends Tyler a message saying “is this your way of telling me that you don’t want to go to opera?”, Tyler replies quickly with “hush, just listen the song”. 

Alex rolls his eyes but keeps on listening to it and he has to admit it wins him over, he doesn’t know if it’s just the melody and voice of the singer or if it's the whole talk about how it's not about what you are listening to, it's who you are listening with because if he is being honest he thought that antman and the wasp was a good movie but not one of the best marvel has made,yet it's still on his top ten just because his boyfriend was there with him after all life is not the things that we do,It's who we're doing them with. 

When did he became so cheesy? 

He texts Tyler “okay so the whole part of the song that is about a marriage, and a kids and a rental is not your way of proposing right?”

Then he adds “i do like the song by the way”. 

Alex listens to it again and again as he waits for Tyler to text back but he never does. 

Instead he gets a phone call when he is about to go to bed. 

“Oh my God, I thought you died” Alex says and hears Tyler laugh.

“the concert was great also I talked to Elena and Syd so I got the Hayley Kiyoko t-shirts, Syd has the one lesbian Jesus one because Elena didn't think that your abuelita will find that one funny so I got her another one but I think she'll like it” he said and he could hear him jump on the bed “yeah, I was going to call sooner but Cameron called”. 

“Oh yeah?” He asked even if he already knew what they had been talking about.

"yeah, he just finished interrogating me, actually"

"I should have given you a warning, I'm sorry" Alex as he found a comfortable position in his bed. 

"oh don't worry about that, I was actually dying to tell him so i’m happy that I finally get to talk to him about it"

"if I'm being honest I thought he already knew, that you told him after Hugo found out" 

"I wanted to but I wasn't sure if you were ready for that, I mean just because you came out to Hugo, it didn't mean that you were ready to tell Cameron, I was going to ask but I didn't want you to feel like i was pressuring you or anything like that" 

"does it ever bother you?" 

"what?" 

"That I'm not out or well not completely out yet?" he said feeling unsure, maybe a little afraid of the answer,he even got under the covers like if he was a kid hiding from the monster in the closet, even if it is just him hiding in the closet "I'm asking because we'll, you have been out for so long and now-" 

"Alex, of course no, it doesn't bother me" he said but he stopped talking for a second like he was rearranging his ideas and finding the right words "listen,i know i came out when i was twelve but it’s never the same for everyone and if you want to wait, we’ll wait, you can take your time and I'll be here for whatever you want, okay?" 

"okay" Alex said, nodding even if Tyler couldn’t see him, he decides to change the subject as he asks “going back to Cameron, did he told you what else he told me today?”

“Oh no” he groaned, he sounded embarrassed like he already knew what he was talking about “he told you, didn’t he? that snitch”

“he did nothing wrong, he just talked about your undying love for me, it was very sweet” when he said this, he could hear Tyler’s muffled laughter.

“I had a little crush on you when we were twelve,don’t be cocky”

“You were in love with me all along, that’s so sweet” 

“Oh god” 

“It’s like a romantic comedy, a dream come true for you”

“i’m going to kill Cameron” he says immediately, a hint of laughter in his voice “and we might have to kill Finn when we tell him”

“why?” he asks laughing as well. 

“OH, you know why, as soon as we tell him, he is going to brag endlessly about how this happened because of him and how we should thank him, he is going to act like he was our wingman, he is going brag and i’m going to kick him in the nuts”

“and i’ll support you from the distance” 

“Aw, thanks babe” he says, his voice is soft and genuine “you could tell him by yourself i wouldn’t mind, mostly because if i hear him say your welcome or even worse try to ruin that beautiful and funny song from moana, i will have to kill-” he stop abruptly and his tone changed “Oh, nothing i’m just talking to Alex, okay i’ll tell him,my brother says hi”.

“Oh, hi Jeremy” he said nervously.

“Don’t worry, you are not on speaker, he is in the kitchen cooking something” Alex feels bad because the first thing he thinks is he is probably cooking meth “because he can’t sleep, he is weird like that but i’ll tell him that you say hi”

“Does he know about us?” he asks, now imagining Jeremy ready hunt him down for dating his little brother, the image is scary but somehow the idea of him just seeing him as just Tyler’s friend bothers him too “it’s okay if he does, by the way”.

“He suspects i guess because of the phone calls and everything” he admits, he sounds nervous as he continues “i haven’t told Jill or Jason so don’t worry about that”. 

“It’s okay if you do” Alex says trying to sound completely convinced because he is “i mean it, i want you to tell them even if it means that we have to keep the door open the next time i go to your house” 

“Cool,” he said trying to sound casual but then he sounds so completely excited as he says “maybe when i’m back, you can come over for dinner on sunday and tell everyone”

“I’ll love that” Alex says and means it “i have to go to sleep now, let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, sleep well” Tyler yawns “sweet dreams”

He hangs up but instead of going back to bed, he stands up, takes his laptop from his desk and finishes the CD, adding Cecily Smith to the mix and waiting for it to be ready, once it’s done, that’s when he needs continue doing part two of the job which is the personalized CD cover, it’s technically simple folding if you follow the instructions but decorating is hard, he is not an amazing artist so he needs an easy design so that he can follow it or trace it,that’s when he finds a rainbow shaped heart that says “keep on kissing”, when he does it, he can’t help to feel like he is a over excited eleven year old making a glittery san valentines day card, under it he writes “Our soundtrack: Let’s be obligatory mushy and overly sentimental like if it was 2006”.

He writes the names of the songs with actual glitter pens because he might as well, after all nothing says romance like glitter pens. 

Dammit, he needs to sleep.

He takes out the wrapping paper, he wants to do it all tonight even if he is already feeling sleepy, when finishes it, he smiles at it, it just needs a nice bow to go with it,he puts everything back into place and hides the present at the bottom of his underwear drawer before finally going to sleep. 

****

Alex wakes up the next morning because his cell phone is ringing, he knows it’s probably not that early in the morning but it feels like it for him, he groans as he answers his phone and the first thing he hears is Finn who doesn’t even bother saying “good morning” instead he says “so where are we picking you up?”

“To do what?” he said covering his face with the blanket. 

“wake up” Finn yelled and Alex groaned “the concert that we talked about, Dylan wants to know where to pick you up”

“I'll meet you guys there” he said as he yawned. 

“you better” Alex can't help but to miss when Finn was sad, at least he wasn't yelling at him then. 

****  
When he gets there, he is not late but everyone is already there, Dylan is there with his friends and his girlfriend, Hugo calls him “tardon” as soon as he sees him, Cameron waves lamely and Finn is pointing at his watch like an angry parent, Alex rolls his eyes as he walks towards him. 

Once they are all inside and the concert starts, they are all having fun dancing and singing, jumping around until Alex notices that Finn is giving him a funny look, he turns to him and leans towards him “you should take a picture it'll last longer and i would look great in it”. 

“It’s just that-” he said squinting like he was trying to get a better look at his face “isn’t that Tyler’s shirt?”

Alex looked down at the red-and-white striped shirt, dammit, how did Finn noticed? Only his mami had noticed that it wasn't his shirt,well,his response was to tell her that it was Tyler’s and that he let him borrow it because his shirt was stained with pizza and she knows how he hates wearing dirty shirts, his mami made fun of him and told him to give it back to Tyler,he got how his mom noticed but how the hell did Finn? when Amanda dyed her hair and cut it, Finn literally said that he didn’t notice the difference but he noticed this. 

He looks at him with a lifted eyebrow like he is crazy, like he obviously doesn’t think it’s that weird that Alex is wearing Tyler’s shirt, like he is not weirded out by the shirt but by the look on Alex’s face, the worst part is that Hugo and Cameron are not helping him because they are making weird faces and become rigid, instead of just continuing like nothing even happened. 

Finn is still looking at them, even more confused now but then something changes,Alex sees as his frown slowly disappears from his face, his eyes open up like two giant plates and he cover his mouth, he nudges his shoulder with his own.

“Wait a minute-holy fuck” He sounds so fucking proud of himself as he removes his hand from his mouth and proceeds to say “Well, i mean you are welcome”

He has this smug smirk on his face and Alex gets why Tyler said that he might have to kick him in the nuts but then Finn pulls him into a hug and he the urge to kick him disappears but only for now because he knows that Finn is going to piss him off. 

“Let’s celebrate” he says as Dylan who is behind them passes him the vape pen. 

He laughs and takes it, Wiz Khalifa is playing,they are all singing along and he is recording the concert for his instagram story and it feels like everything is okay. 

That is, of course when he starts to hear someone yelling his name. 

When he turns around and sees his mom standing there, all he can think about is that he is so glad that he wasn’t on instagram live. 

Well, not really what he think is Oh no. Crap. Fuck. Shit. No. Why. Dammit.

I’m fucked. 

I’m so completely and utterly fucked 

Yeah in that order. 

****

The ride home is dreadful and silence, he is planning what to say the whole way home, he already knows what his mami is going to say that he has disappointed her, that doesn’t make hearing it any easier, he wants to ask her not to tell his abuelita about it but he keeps quiet because he knows that he is not in a position in which he can ask for anything. 

She sends him downstairs to do punishment laundry, she has taken his laptop and his xbox, he’ll get his laptop back when school starts again but he doesn’t know when he is going to get back his xbox, he still has cellphone but he knows it’s only a matter of time before she takes it away too. 

He tears up as he does the laundry because he is thinking about what his abuelita is going to say when she finds out, she is going to be mad. sad. disappointed. fuck, how did he screw up so bad.

His cell phone keeps on blowing off on messages and calls from Hugo, Finn and Cameron who keep asking him if he is okay or what happened, he is about to text them back but that’s when he gets a message from Tyler, the guys obviously told him already. 

the first one says “The guys told me, i’m so sorry, are you okay? can i call you?” 

The second one asks “for how long are you going to be grounded?”

The third one says “everything is going to be okay, just talk to me when you can, okay?”

He wants to call him because he doesn’t know for how long he is going to have his cellphone but he can’t talk right now or what is about to happen, he doesn’t know how to answer his questions, he wants to believe him that everything is going to be okay but he is not sure of that, he tries to respond but he can’t.

“don’t worry, i’m okay” that’s a lie, you are not okay. 

“I’m not sure of how long i’m going to be grounded” that’s a horrible way to start. 

“nothing is going to be okay” No, don’t even write that. 

He takes a breath and sighs, before writing back “don’t worry, i’m not sure for how long i’m going to be grounded, i promise i call you back but i can’t talk right now”. 

Tyler texts back “it’s okay, i’m here if you need anything”

When he reads that, he nods because he knows that true, he knows that Tyler is there waiting if he needs anything even if he is miles away. 

He is there. He is waiting. Everything is going to be fine.

That’s when the laundry is ready and it’s time to go downstairs, when he is done, he goes to his room and opens the door, at the beginning he doesn’t notice anything different but he walks towards his desk and sees the opened fake axe body spray with nothing inside his heart stops.

“Looking for this” he turns around and sees his mami standing there with the vape pen in her hand.

Play dumb, just play dumb. 

“No, what is it?” 

“Don’t even” she says and her voice almost breaks for a second, she was crying or looks like she is about to start crying at this point. 

“This is what you are doing?” she says and it feels worse than a slap on the face or a kick on the groin “i’m busting my ass for this family, and you are out there doing this crap?”

He can’t even look at her, he tries not to but he knows that if he tries to do that, his mami will tell him to look at her in the face and will make the situation worse. 

“i’m so sorry-”

“You lied right to my face” she said harshly and he hates how true that is and how much he has hidden from her, how he has lied to her casually and often but he had to. 

He reminds himself that isn’t about that, this isn’t about Tyler, this is about vaping “I had to, if i didn’t lie, you would have said i couldn’t do it”

“Cause you shouldn’t do it!”

“It’s not that bad, it’s legal now” he says but he regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. 

“You want to know what else is legal? smoking, drinking, gambling but you end up with cancer, cirrhosis and prying your abuelita off the penny slots” yeah, not his best arguments “and none of this things are legal for you cause you are 15”

“It’s just a fun thing we do once in a while” he insist, he holds himself back from rolling his eyes, he doesn’t want to say he hates smoking, that he doesn’t like the way it smells or feels, that he never drinks too much and that he would never gamble “anyway, i get straight A’s”

“You won’t for long if you are a stoner” 

Now he really has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes, he has only done it a couple of times, he bought the vape pen a few days ago but he knows that he already lied before so it doesn’t matter, so instead he says the first thing that pops up on his head “i’m not a stoner, we laugh at those guys, besides tons of successful people have smoked weed, barack obama, steve jobs, Oprah”. 

Not a second goes by before his mami says “Unemployed, dead, and Gayle only said that to get ratings”. 

Well, she had him there; he swallows, unsure of what is going to happens next. 

“And trust me, for every success, there are hundreds losers whose lives never go anywhere and you really think it’s healthy for you?”

He takes a deep breath, getting ready for his mami to list every single illness that has ever existed. 

“You know that guy at the concert, Willie Nelson?” well that was unexpected “thirty two years old?”

“No, he is not, he is like your age”

“No, he’s not like my age! He’s a lot older than me!” she sounds incredibly angry, he doesn’t know if it is because of his vaping or his comment about the age anymore, she turns around, her hands up like she is asking god to give her patience and sits in the bed with this angry look on her face.

“I’m so disappointed in you,You are good kid, you are smart kid and you should know better”

He looks down, trying not to cry and to find the right words but all he says is “I’m sorry i’m not perfect like you”

“Trust me. i’m not perfect” she says and Alex can’t help to think yeah, right “i tried pot a couple of times”

He blinks shocked “you did?”

“Yeah, i was stupid too” 

Okay. Ouch. He still stands up and walks to sit next to her. 

“But when you are kid, it messes with your brain because it’s still developing and you need to be especially careful because you are latino” 

“Why?”

That’s when his mom tells him the story of how a cop caught her and a friend smoking pot at the beach and how she was dragged into a police station but her friend Caroline who was white was let go with a warning, he doesn’t know if he is shocked because he just found his mami was arrested or that Caroline was let go with just a warning but really he shouldn’t be, he has seen the way people at stores look at him and how they look at Finn, these things happen and he should be used to it by now but he isn’t.  
He also doesn’t know if it what hits him the hardest “You can’t be doing this kind of stuff. It’s different for us” or “You can go to prison and your life will be over and so will mine because i couldn’t bear to lose you like that”.

She is tearing up now and all he can really say is that he is sorry, that he’ll never do it again and he means it. 

“Oh, i would love to believe you” she says and his heart breaks a little as she takes something from his back pocket “But one of these days, i’m going to make you use this”

“A pregnancy test?” 

“No, it’s a drug test, but now i’m concerned that you know what a pregnancy test looks like” 

“You don’t have to worry about that” he tells her, thinking that this might be a good way to get to what he wants to say “i think that since we are letting it all out in the open, then this would-well, maybe this is not the best time but a good time for me to tell you something that i have wanted to tell for a very long time and -”

“Are you having sex?” she asked, her voice so full of concern and a little scared, already preparing herself for another speech so Alex starts to shake his head before she says anything, he still hasn't recovered from their talk about threesomes from three years ago.

“Oh god, no, mami, no, that’s not it, i’m not having sex” he says quickly and sees relief wash over her and he prepares himself to say what he needs to say “This isn’t about that, what i want to say is that i am kind of-sort of" he shakes his head when he says that trying to to get the right words again, he wants to sound confident because he is confident in his relationship with Tyler so he should sound sure of himself when he tells other people and kind of-sort of doesn't cut it. His mami is looking at him with a concerned glace and a voice inside of him tells him "man up, tell her". So he does "actually no, there it’s not kind of or sort of, it’s pretty serious, i’m seeing a boy, well dating a boy, i have a boyfriend”

“You have a boyfriend” she says, it’s not a question, she is just repeating it, it’s a fact, it’s like she accepting it as new reality, a new possibility, something that hadn’t consider before, all that she says after a few seconds is “well you are not going to need a pregnancy test then”. 

“I’m bisexual, i like both boys and girls but i have boyfriend now” he says and she nods to his words and new information “It’s recent, i swear, I know i should have said something before and i wanted to but i wasn’t ready, i know that we have rules and we are not allowed to go on dates before asking you first but you don’t have to worry it’s not some stranger, it’s Tyler, you know him, he has stayed here and you been to his house and you know this family, he knows you and you like him”

“Tyler?” she asks with this surprised funny look on her face “I was worried for a few seconds, i thought you were going to say Finn”

“Ugh, Ew” he said, she lets out a soft chuckle and she is tearing up a little bit even if she is smiling, she wraps him into a hug and rubs his back, that’s when Alex realizes that he is tearing up too, dammit this has been a very emotional day.  
“I do like Tyler, he is a good kid” she says as she pulls away and cleans up her tears “I love you and i want you to be happy and you should never be afraid to tell me anything about yourself but that doesn’t change the fact that you are grounded” he nods, he already knew that “but once you are officially ungrounded, i would love for you to invite him over for dinner”

“He would love that too” he says feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“also this” she said pointing at the drug test “is still going to happen and your pee better be freaking perfect” 

“It will be, i swear” he says pulling her in for another hug.

“You are using flex body spray, oh god, your poor boyfriend” she hugs him back and it feels like Tyler was right and everything is okay. 

“we are also going to have a talk about sex, a different one but you know what? Another day”

Yeah, everything is going to be fine. 

****

His mami is going to take his phone away tonight but she is letting him have one last phone call which he knows who he is going to be spending it in, 

When Tyler’s face appears on the screen, he is in some alleyway and Alex can’t help to wonder if he’s somewhere safe but he hears Jeremy’s laughter and people voices so he assumes that Tyler is with good company. 

“Hi,” he says, he is smiling at him and fixing the beanie that he is wearing “how are you?”

“I’m fine but i’m grounded until robots rule the galaxy and music doesn’t exist anymore” he explains “also smoking marijuana can causes gynecomastia which is when men grow boobs so i’m not going to do it ever again”

“That’s a lot” he says now leaning against the wall “you don’t have to vape ever again if you don’t want to and if anyone tries to say anything about it, i’ll kick their asses”

“Oh, my knight in shining armor” Alex says back, they laugh for a couple of seconds “i told my mom about us”

“You did?” he responded shocked but with a weird smile on his face like he doesn’t know how to feel about this.

“she says she likes you and that you are good guy and once i’m not grounded anymore, she would love to have you come over for dinner” when he says that he sees how Tyler visibly relaxes and smiles like someone who was just told that he won a lottery.  
“Oh thank god” Tyler said more to himself than to anyone else.

“Also more good news she is not going to tell my abuelita that i vaped which thank god” he said, Tyler agreed with him by nodding “if she asks, we are going to tell her that it was for hanging out with a girl who is a bad influence who is named-”

“Let me guess Mary Jane?” Tyler asks already laughing. 

“Yeah, Mary Jane, how did you know?” 

“Alex, you do know that mary jane euphemism for weed, right?” he asks with a frown with a smirk like he thinks it’s hilarious.

“Yeah, i just didn’t know you did” he lies and by the way Tyler laughs, he can tell that he doesn’t believe him “fine, i didn’t knew”

“You are so cute,don’t worry, when i’m back i’ll teach all the euphemisms” he says with this soft look on his face “but for real, for how long are you going to be grounded

That’s when Alex breaks the news “I’m getting my phone taken away tonight and i’m going to see you when classes start, i’m not allowed to go out”

Alex waits for his response and sees Tyler lick his lips, touching his hat subconsciously, like some sort of nervous tic, he is obviously sad and trying to hide it so that Alex won’t feel bad or well worse.

“It’s okay, Alex” Tyler says after a few more moments of silence between the two of them.

“You can always mission impossible your way into our apartment” he says trying to make him laugh and he is so happy that he can give him that. 

“Or maybe i’ll spiderman my way there” Tyler said, they laughed for a couple of seconds until Alex saw his mom waiting at the door for him.

“I have to go but i’ll see you when classes start, okay?” he asks, Tyler looks down for a couple of seconds but looks up with a smile, it’s forced but he is trying.

“It's sad but true, how much I’m going to miss you” Tyler sings for a bit and it takes a second for him to realize what song that is and when he does, he just wishes that he could travel through space just so that he could get to him and kiss him. 

“Okay, so that’s definitely our song now” Alex says as they both smile sadly “i have to go, i’m going to miss you too”.

The last thing he does before the screen goes back is Tyler lamely waving with sad expression on his face.  
*****  
Weeks pass by slowly and when San Valentine's day finally arrives, Alex feels like he is mourning the missing potential of what this day was supposed to be like, he almost got away with a plan of meeting Tyler the viejitos lawn bowling tournament, sure it wouldn’t have been the most romantic day but it would have been something, the plan was to get there, take Dr.B’s cell phone and call Tyler so that he could get there in time, not that it mattered because the rain had to screw it all up. 

Instead he had to stay at home surrounded by all of this couples which is not helping him,however hearing Dr.B talk about his wife leaving him on San Valentine's day does end up making him feel better because well, it could be worse. 

That’s when Schneider's hot tub starts leaking, Avery and him start making out in their kitchen and he can agree with his mami, yeah,this is some bull, then she goes to his abuelita's room with Mateo, his Abuelita is cooking with Dr. B,Syd and Elena are having a fight but he is sure that they'll figure it out. 

He is still helping his Abuelita cook when Elena yells for him to come to her room, he almost rolls his eyes and asks "what?" but he decides to go without saying anything ,when he gets there and sees Syd wearing a Jesus Hayley Kiyoko t-shirt,at first he thinks that Tyler just drop by and left his presents and he is almost mad that they didn’t tell him so he could at least see him for a second. 

But then sees sneakers next to the window and there are not just any sneakers, these ones are pink, lavender, and blue, the Bi Pride Converse that Tyler has and loves more than anything,he wouldn’t leave those behind. 

His second clue is that right next to the converse, there is a familiar jacket that he is so sure it’s not Elena’s.

Elena doesn’t have to tell him anything, he just turns around goes to his bedroom, closes the door and sees Tyler standing there his hair is dripping wet, he has a nervous smile on his face, he is obviously cold, he is shivering and wearing all black clothes expect for Elena’s bunny slippers. 

Alex thinks that he has never looked more beautiful. 

He is about to say something but Alex can’t get the words out so he throws himself forward, he grabs him by the back of the neck, pulls his head down,his lips crashing into Tyler’s in a way that is not smooth or gentle by any means but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He brings his hand to Alex’s cheek and he leans into it, he doesn’t care that his hands and face are cold because he has missed this so much,besides the rest of him is warm.

His mouth is warm.

And Tyler kisses him so hard that he squeaks in surprise but he doesn’t break the kiss or pulls back, it feels like there is joy is radiating inside of him, he runs his hands through his hair, over and over again,getting caught in the tangles of his curls, that’s when he finally lets go and puts his hands on his shoulders. 

The one to break the kiss is Tyler but his hands still stayed on his face as he pulled him in for another kiss, this time on his nose, two on each cheek and one on his chin before giving a soft peck in the mouth. 

“I'm sorry, I just really like your face” he says, Alex tilts his head when he hears that and can't help to laugh “i missed you a lot and I couldn't wait to see you”

“I missed you too, you are the reason I miss my phone so much, I missed you more than I missed cat videos” he says and he means it, still Tyler laughs like he is joking but he doesn't care because Tyler's laughter sounds so good in front of him, so much better than over the phone. 

God, he has missed him. 

“You are so warm” Tyler says as he pulls him in for a hug, he is about to tell him that he is not, not really, it's just that he was outside in the rain but he just wants Tyler to stay close even if he is using him as a human heater. 

That's when he realizes how Tyler got to the apartment. 

“Wait a second, you climbed the fire escape during a storm” he says worried, he lets go of the hug and starts to look for any bruise or sign of harm, Tyler is not saying anything but he can see him trying to hide a somewhat proud smile “You could have died”

“i was a man on a mission” Tyler replies with a shrug like it wasn’t a big deal.

“You could have been a dead man and then i would have died too because your siblings would have killed me”

“wow, that's really a worst case scenario” Tyler says amused “I thought that the worst thing that could happen was us getting caught or me getting the flu or both but i must admit that dead was not even on the list”

“you hardly ever get sick so I doubt that you'll catch the flu” Tyler snorts when he hears that but Alex stands by what he said. 

“Anyway, believe it or not i didn’t come here only to smooch” Alex is about to tell him that he can’t believe that he just said smooch but that’s Tyler bents down to pick up his backpack from the floor, he opens it and pulls up a red box with wrapped on messy, crumpled paper folds and Tyler looks a little embarrassed as he explains “i apologize for the wrapping paper, it’s not great but i did my best and i think that intention is what matter-” he says 

Alex doesn’t let him even finished, he pulls him in for a peck on the lips “I love it”: 

“You haven’t even open it yet”

“i already love it” he says and puts it on his bed “give me second, i’m going to go get yours”

He pulls out the CD from his drawer and gives it to Tyler, they both stare at each other like they are asking permission to open their presents like two fucking kids on christmas eve, they both bursts into laughter when they realize how they look like and just go right at it, Alex just rips the wrapping paper right out of it like he is in a competition,meanwhile Tyler opens his present slowly. 

When the paper is finally gone, he sees a spiderman hoodie, he remembers finding it online but then looking at the price and just shaking his head, no way he would get it but now he has it in his hands, he looks up to Tyler who has just finished opening his.

“Our soundtrack: Let’s be obligatory mushy and overly sentimental like if it was 2006” he reads along giving him a sparkling smile “This is so sweet, thank you so much, i love it”

“You haven’t even listen to it yet-” Alex says feeling like it wasn’t enough compared to the hoodie but Tyler grasps his hands and looks at him right in the eyes and he sounds so honest and sweet like that CD is the best thing he has ever had. 

“I already love it, you dummy” he says letting go of his hand as Alex with a matching smile puts on his hoodie and it fits like a glove and he loves it, he doesn’t even need to look at the mirror to know it, that’s when he notices that there is something else in the box, he sees a white shirt but then he turns it around and sees spiderman with a bi flag behind him and in black letters it says “i swing both ways”. 

Alex stares at it for a few second and can’t help to wonder where he got it, he had never seen one of these before but he loves it just because Tyler got it for him and thought of him when he saw it.

“You don’t have to wear it” Tyler says nervously fidgeting “I just thought you might like it because the other day you talked about how you loved Tom Holland as spiderman but that you missed andrew as spidey as well and that you were annoyed because he wanted bisexual spiderman and you would have loved bisexual spiderman and you are bi and he is your favorite so-”

“You got me bisexual spiderman” he says and Tyler nods “thank you, i love it” 

“It’s also a replacement because i stole your spiderman t-shirt” he says and he sounds flustered, Alex thinks it’s the cutest thing “it’s a lot of things”.  
He stands up and pulls Tyler into a kiss, he thinks there is something incredible about kissing a guy that was just under the rain while he is dressed as spiderman, maybe someday, he can try to kiss Tyler upside down. 

Also this time when they kiss, it feels like their lips fit perfectly together. 

He never wants this to stop. 

But eventually it has to, otherwise his mom might find out and he might be even more grounded for sneaking his boyfriend into his room to have a mini san valentine’s day when he is already grounded. 

Tyler puts the cd on his backpack, he puts his sneakers on and his jacket, it’s raining less now so Alex is less worried about him falling from the fire escape, he gives him a kiss before he goes,nothing like before, this a blink and you miss type of thing. 

Elena and Syd give him a few pats in the back as they go back to the kitchen to eat dinner but Schneider's toilet ends up ruining that for them so they just order some pizza and watch bubba gump. 

At the end of the night when everyone leaves, he takes his presents and goes to Elena’s room to ask her to hide them until classes start because he is worried that mami might find them and find out that Tyler was here and she does but not before snooping and checking them out. 

She loves the t-shirt obviously that’s not a surprise, he is about to go to his room but then Elena says “i love that he is supportive of your crush on spiderman”. 

“What?” he asks coming back into the room “no, i didn’t”

“Oh, not the character” she says and now he is just confused “you want to be spiderman but you wanted to date the actor who played him”

“What? No! I never liked Tobey, specially after spiderman three” if he is being honest with himself, his brain has deleted most of spiderman three like he can’t just handle the horror. 

“Not him, the second and the third,” she says looking at a wall like she is trying to remember their names. 

“Tom Holland and Andrew Garfield” he replies. 

“Yeah, those two” 

He almost rolls his eyes and starts laughing, he wasn’t in love with them, he just admired them a lot, he liked them sure, they were both funny, cute and looked- “OH MY GOD”

Honestly someone has to start telling Alex these things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hola señora Alvarez, como esta usted?” = hi mrs. Alvarez, how are you?
> 
> “Todo muy bien,Huguito, y tu, que tal el viaje?” = everything is fine, Huguito, how are you?
> 
> “Ay nada nuevo, surfeamos, comimos, nos divertimos,mi Papá le pidió matrimonio a Isaac, nada nuevo” = "oh, nothing new, we surf, we ate, we had fun, my dad asked Isaac to marry him, nothing new"
> 
> chismoso= someone who likes gossip


	5. Four times Alex tried to come out to his abuelita (and one time he did)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was suppoused to come out last week but i was a little busy with tests and homework so it took a while, i'm sorry, thank you guys so much for reading the fic, i'm so glad you liked it and if you want to tell me anything my user name on tumblr is @multigloria.

Alex never thought that he would be this excited about coming back to school but he is, Elena made fun of him talking about how love has changed him but he is not THIS excited about seeing Tyler again but because of a lot of stuff, he is finally going to be out of the apartment after being grounded and feeling like he has been in prison for weeks, he is getting his cell phone and laptop back, he is still not going to use them during the weekend but it’s still better than nothing and he is going to see all of his friends again. 

And yes, fine, he is also THAT excited to see Tyler.

He is a little nervous too.

Yesterday Elena asked him if he was going to be out in school,at the beggining he didn’t knew how to answer that, it feels like that is something that he should discuss with Tyler before, it’s not like Tyler isn’t out because he came out when he was twelve, a few weeks after Elena did, he just came to school wearing bi pride pin and sure, maybe they were a few assholes here and there but Tyler knew how to handle it.

One of the few assholes was their History teacher Mr. Wilson who casually as ever said “Jesus didn't die for you to start kissing boys”.

He wished that he could have taken a picture of his face when Tyler quickly replied “then why the fuck did he die for then?Also at least i can kiss someone, when is the last time you did, somewhere back in 1779?”

Of course he got detention but he didn’t get grounded, actually his sister took him for ice cream after that and everyone in the classroom thought it was hilarious. 

Also, it’s not like Elena and Tyler are the only LGBT students in the school right now, it’s not a long list but there are more people like there is Michelle, she came out as trans in the 8th grade and everyone was pretty supportive, sure, some more than others and there were some people who were just straight up jerks, he still remembers when this dude who was a senior said something particularly horrible but didn’t even finished his sentence because he got punched in the face by Michelle's best friend Denise Falto who actually came out as a lesbian years later, she did it showing up late to homecoming, with her hair up on a ponytail and wearing a suit with two pins one with the lesbian flag and a rainbow one on the side of her jacket,she knew how to make an entrance, Elena looked at her like a proud mother. 

Like he said, it’s not a long list. 

There have been other out and proud LGBT students who already graduated but never really couples,usually they have boyfriends and girlfriends outside of school but he has a boyfriend inside of school. 

That's a reason why he doesn't wany to be out it's unknown territory but there are reasons why he wants to be out as well like he is grounded for an indefinite amount of time, it means no dates or going to Tyler's house to kiss him and the idea of adding to that sneaking around in the only place where he can see him is just not something that Alex wants to do, what he wants to do is be able to do the same things that Hugo does with Camila like hand holding,hugging and good morning kisses.

And if he wants to do it,why shouldn’t he? Because of a couple assholes, fuck them, if he wants to hold his boyfriend’s hand, you bet your ass that he is going to.

But only if Tyler wants to do it too.

Of course he doesn’t tell Elena all of that, he answers “Yeah, i’ll hold his hand but only if he wants to”.

“I’m so proud of you” she says putting her hands on her chest “you want to hold your boyfriend’s hand with enthusiastic consent”

“Thank you, i-” he says but then notices her grin from ear to ear like she is about to laugh “wait a second, are you making fun of me?”

“A little bit, i just have never seen you like this before so i have to take my chance” she says still grinning “but just for the record i am proud” 

Needless to say, he throws a pillow at her. 

*****

When he gets to school, people are still huddle up talking in the parking lot because that’s what they do before main door opens, if you are 15 minutes late,they won’t let you in, he finds that rule so incredibly annoying especially considering the fact that they are dealing with L.A. traffic. 

Before he gets out of the car, he kisses his mami in the cheek and she passes him his cell phone, Elena is already complaining about a discussion that she is going to have with some guy from one of their clubs but he is busy looking for his friends in a sea of light blue shirts and cargo pants.

It doesn't take long to find who he is looking for because he feels a hand on his shoulder, he turns around to see Hugo who instinctively into a hug, he pats him in the back, Cameron who looks happy and relieved to see him, Finn is staring at him like Alex almost died and it was all his fault and Tyler is looking at him with this soft smile, the same one he gives him when he kisses him. 

And dammit, he really needs to kiss him now. 

Okay, don't get him wrong he still wants to say hi to his friends but he really wants to kiss Tyler too,he realizes that technically they aren't in school grounds yet so he could get away with it.

After he hugs Cameron and convinces Finn that nothing that happened was his fault and that no, he doesn't hate him, he is finally able to get to Tyler, he hugs him desperately hard and Alex rests his chin on his shoulder and closes his eyes for a couple of seconds just to enjoy-

The bells started to ring and he sighted as they proceed to walk towards the door, on the way there, their hands brushed against each other and he turns to look at Tyler who is already looking at him like he is trying to ask him “was that on purpose? do you want to hold hands?” it’s a little weird, going from kissing each other on sight to being nervous about hand holding but Alex thinks that it could be a good way to ask him before they go to class so he pulls him a side and gives the guys signs to keep walking. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” 

Goddamnit why did he made it sound so formal, it looks like he is about to ask him if he would like to sign this legally binding contract that allows him to hold hands with him.

“technically you just did” he says smiling at him.

“get out of here with your technicalities” he said with his John Mulaney imitation.

Tyler lets out a snort before saying “ sure, ask”

“do you want to be out at school?” 

Tyler blinks repeatedly, visibly shocked but not horrified by the idea, he asks “Are you sure?” his big brown eyes are open wide in surprise and smile dancing on his face but he tries to hide his excitement “i promise there is no rush, I swear we can wait”

“I mean there kind of is, we only have fifteen minutes” he says as he reaches for Tyler’s hand “but yeah, i’m sure”

Tyler doesn’t verbally respond, he just grabs Alex’s hand and intertwines their fingers, before they go towards the entry, Alex leans in and gives him a brief kiss before they do.

They walk in holding hands, they do get stares and some side eyes that do make Alex a little nervous but he decides not to pay attention to those people, he just holds onto Tyler’s hand and smiles when he sees Denise giving them the thumbs up and Alex feels strange but it's a good kind of strange like he finally gets where the whole feeling like you have butterflies inside your belly came from. 

“Come on, we’ll be late to class” Tyler says squeezing his hand. 

And he feels amazing. 

****

His first day out has been a combination of good weird and bad weird like when he was going to eat lunch and walking down the hall, he heard two girls whispering (or well at least attempting to since he heard them anyway) about how Chloe had turned him gay, he just turned around and told them “I’m not gay, i’m bi” then he kept walking pretending that that hadn't bothered him as much as it actually had. 

Hugo puts his arm around him and told him to just ignore them, he is annoyed for a few minutes until they get to their table,he sits down and takes his lunch out of his backpack and a cup of chocolate pudding appears in front of him, obviously not by the power of magic, he looks up and sees Tyler giving him a cheeky grin as he sits down next to him and squeezes his hand under the table. 

Needless to say, Alex forgets about those girls. 

Then he got some unexpected news as Cameron put down his lunch tray and settles next to them, he has this big smile on his face that Alex assumed to be because of a certain lady named Michelle but then he told them that he was going to be an older brother. 

Apparently they came back early from their vacation, his mom felt sick but it turn out that she wasn't, she was just pregnant. 

Those news were unexpected to say the least,if Alex is being honest he doesn’t know how he would react if his mami or papi would give him those news but Cameron looks thrilled so they congratulate him anyway even if there is shock still in all of their faces, obviously Tyler already knew about it but he still puts his hand on top of his shoulder and says “you are going to be a great older brother”.

Cameron nods nervously like he is saying “i hope” but then he nods again with more determination like is saying “I am”. 

The rest of lunch is pretty normal, they eat, they make fun of each other and everyone around them, at the end of it, Alex stands up and grabs Tyler's hand so they can go to class, that’s when he notices Trey from the baseball team sneering at them from another table and it feels like that lady at the movie theater all over again so he holds Tyler’s hand tighter, deciding to ignore him and walking away. 

He remembers what his mami said at the ice cream shop that day “if you get angry, they win, if you never get angry, they also win. It’s complicated!”.

Yeah, it is complicated but he decides to hold on to Tyler’s hand and let his anger wash over him as Tyler talks about how he is going audition for the school’s play so he is going to stay after school and since Alex is going to stay for baseball training, he could walk him back home, Alex nods immediately and he asks him questions about the audition so he can forget about the guy. 

As Tyler talks about how Mrs.Hopkins is letting them do Wicked instead of forcing them to do Romeo and Juliet,he is going to audition for Fiyero, he rubs his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand and his anger slowly disappears.

When they get to the classroom, Amanda stops them and tells them as sweetly as possible “congratulations but just because you two are lovebirds now, doesn’t mean i have to suffer” Alex is confused for a couple of minutes until she points at Tyler “he is sitting at the back of the class otherwise i won’t see shit”.

Alex couldn’t help to laugh because he knows that there is no malice on Amanda’s words, she would have said the exact same thing to any couple who would try to get in between her the board, he remembers when she sat behind Scott and Marina who wouldn’t shut up during the class, he remembers how she turn around and told them to “shut the fuck up”. Tyler snorts and scoffs in fake indignation as he says that if she wasn’t a dwarf this wouldn’t be a problem, she flips him the bird as he walks to his usual spot next to Cameron. 

So Tyler doesn’t sit next to him during class which it’s probably for the best after all Alex would probably just get distracted during classes which do turn out to be pretty boring and add that to the teachers are leaving them more homework because apparently they want to make up for everything that they didn’t do during the break. 

When classes are officially over, he stands up to leave but when he does he catches Chloe looking at him, she gives him this weak awkward but polite smile, he doesn’t know what to do about that so he just smiles back, put his stuff back inside of his backpack so that he can go to baseball practice. 

Tyler stands up from his seat and walks towards him, Alex smiles and he asks Tyler “Hey, i was thinking i could walk you to drama club before going to baseball practice” at the exact same time, Tyler said “Do you want me to walk you to your baseball practice?”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Alex says as Tyler reach for his hands.

“Oh, but i want to-” he says, his face resembling the one of a sad puppy. 

“Are you two going to become one of those couples? like what’s next calling each other and going “you hang up” “no, you hang up first” Finn asks them jokingly but then he turns towards Cameron and Hugo looking slightly horrified “wait, are they already one of those couples?” 

Cameron rolls his eyes like he is about to say no but then he squints his eyes suspiciously at Tyler “Wait are you?” 

“From what Alex said” Hugo added with shrug and an amused smirk appearing on his face “They are very mushy gushy”

“I don’t know about you but i'm not answering any of these questions” Tyler said and Alex nodded in agreement.

“Which means that they totally are” said Amanda as she walked out of the classroom “see you at drama club, loser”

“Would anyone like to remind me why is she our friend?” Tyler said as he put his backpack on.

“Tyler, you were the first one to befriend her when she was new” Finn reminds him. 

“I don’t remember that therefore it didn’t happen” 

“Well i remember that and i have the memory of an elephant”

“and the face of a cockroach” Cameron says amusingly, Tyler high fives him for that response and Finn rolls his eyes at that. 

“Not that i’m not enjoying this exchange but if we keep this up, we are all going to be late” Hugo said pointing at his watch “so you guys should just kiss and hurry this whole thing up”

Alex rolls his eyes because it’s not that simple, they can just kiss at school, what if a teacher see? what if-

Apparently Tyler doesn’t agree with him because he gives him a light kiss in the cheek without a hesitation before walking away and saying “see you later guys”. 

It’s sweet, it’s nice, it’s easy. 

And maybe it’s THAT simple. 

“Hey, race you guys to the locker room” Finn says and starts running, Cameron groans but starts running, Hugo mumbles something about how this is not how a race works and Alex chases after them, he is too competitive to complain, he doesn't have to the face Finn makes when he passes him by is enough. 

He gets there first and sits down next to Kevin who is their catcher, so that he can change his clothes, he is about to say “hi” but Kevin talks first and it's not a nice greeting, he turns to look at him and tells him “If you even look at me while i’m changing i will break your arm”. 

And just like that Alex is frozen into place, he doesn't know what to say or how to react, it feels like someone just punched him in the stomach and he is half expecting Kevin to turn around and tell him that he was joking, that it was just a shitty joke,a joke of bad taste but a joke. 

But that never happens, Kevin never says anything or apologizes. 

Only a few seconds have gone by but it feels like hours to Alex, it's like his brain is still processing, it's not like him and Kevin are close, they are not best friends or anything like that but they have been in the baseball team for 3 years and they always got along, finding out that he felt that way was disappointing. 

Now Alex doesn't want any trouble, he doesn't want to get into a fight and he just wants to have a normal baseball practice. 

But none of that stuff stops him from telling Kevin “Oh, go fuck yourself, I have a boyfriend and i have standards”. 

He doesn't see what reaction Kevin has to what he just said because that's when Finn, Cameron and Hugo all burst through the door arguing about who won second place, Alex grabs his things and goes to where they are and tries to hide his anger with a smile as he says “Just here to remind you guys that second is the first of the last places”. 

They don’t have time to play fight so they just change quickly because if they are late, they have to run from one side of the field to another, touching the ground then rushing back to the other side and repeat over and over again for forty minutes after practice and Alex is not willing to make Tyler wait that long.

Their coach Mrs. Valdez is strict and a little harsh but she is good at her job better than any other coach they had before, he remembers when she was first introduced to them, at the beginning they thought that she would be easy going because she had kind eyes, a soft voice and perfectly manicured nails but the moment she put her hair on a ponytail with her and held her whistle, you just knew that you had to give your 100% to the game or you were screwed.

He remembers how the entire team went from having a crush on her to hating her instantly, when he told Elena about this, she said “it’s not her fault that people hate powerful women, the same thing happen to Hillary”. 

Alex likes Mrs. Valdez fine, they had won every single game since she became their coach and she always found a way to get the best out of everyone and she was always nice if anyone had trouble at home. Also Fun fact about Mrs. Valdez, a week after she became their coach, they found out that she was actually friends with Tyler’s sister Jill and her girlfriend Sarah, they are all part of this lesbian softball team that plays on saturdays which did not help the stereotype that all lesbians play softball and all of them know each other. 

If he is being honest he doesn’t even consider telling her about what happened a few minutes ago because he thinks that just might make things worse and he just wants to play baseball and forget about it.

So that’s what he does, he turns off his brain when he starts playing and just focuses on the ball. Mrs. Valdez congratulates him after practice is over, she tells him that he did a good job and probably practiced during the break, he wants to laugh and tell her that he was actually locked in his room during most of it but then she tells him “but don’t overwork yourself to dead, okay?”

He nods even if he didn't felt like he had overworked himself but he usually only realizes that he has when his arms are sore the next day so maybe she is right. 

He’ll find out tomorrow. 

“Hey, let’s go before the showers run out of hot water” Hugo said as he stood up from the bench he had been waiting him in.

“oh, thanks but i think i’ll pass and just shower at home” Alex says because he doesn’t want to have another encounter like that.

“I knew it” Hugo said like Alex had just fall for a trap that he had set up “something is wrong”

Dammit. 

“What? No! nothing is wrong”

“You hate being dirty or wearing clothes that are, you are actually the only boy i know who would rather shower with ice cold water than to wait to get home” Alex crosses his arm and wants to deny it but Hugo knows him too well not to notice when something is wrong, maybe with Cameron or even with Finn, he could get away with it, Tyler would let him get away with it and tell him on his own but Hugo is not like that, not when he notices something is wrong “so what happened?”

Alex knows that there is no way out of this conversation because now Hugo has crossed his arms as well which means that he is not moving until they talk about this. 

“someone said something stupid” he admits hoping that Hugo can put two and two together for him so that they can let this go.

“What kind of stupid?” Hugo asks but Alex can tell that he already knows “homophobic stupid?” 

Alex nods as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly “it wasn’t that bad, please don’t make a scene”. 

“I’m not going to make a scene, mostly because i don’t know who the guy is and you are probably not going to tell me” he said with just a hint of anger in his voice like he was trying to hide it like he was trying to tell Alex that it was okay if he didn’t want to tell him and he wasn’t mad at him but at the same time was planning the murder of one of their teammates, he just didn’t knew who yet.

“Hey Alex, you should-” Finn said with his usual happy go lucky tone but then he stopped himself mid sentence when he noticed their postures “what happened?”

“Someone was a dick to Alex” Hugo whispered and Alex is grateful for that, he didn’t want Mrs.Valdez or other people to hear. 

“Who?” Finn asked but it sounded more like who do we have to kill?

“Finn, did you tell-” Cameron start but Finn won’t even let him finish his sentence.

“Some asshole was a dick to Alex” 

Cameron doesn’t reply, he just furrows his eyebrows and starts glaring at anyone who is there, now Cameron is the shortest kid in class even after his growth spurt, has big soft blue eyes and an attitude that regularly radiates positive energy but when he is angry, he has this glare that drips venom.

“Okay, listen up here before the three of you go full blown Dexter, i don’t want to talk about it and i don’t want you guys to make a scene or go all sherlock holmes looking for who he is, let’s just be normal okay so please wipe off those angry murderous looks off your faces” His words sounded easy in his mouth but he was pretty sure he was making strange movements with his hands “now, what were you two going to tell me?”

“Oh, Tyler is waiting for you outside” Cameron says casually but there is this grin on his face that makes Alex thinks that there is more to that story. 

“With your mom” Finn adds with an equal devilish grin. 

“What?” Alex said confused, Finn moved a side and Cameron pointed towards the fence, he could see his Mami talking to Tyler right behind it. 

He didn't get why Cameron and Finn thought it was funniest thing ever, it was just his mom and his boyfriend talking to each other and it seemed to be going well, they were smiling and laughing, nothing to worry about. 

Until he noticed that his mom was showing him something on her phone and he could see that Tyler see him cooing and saying “awww”. 

Oh no. 

His mami is showing Tyler his baby pictures. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

He runs to the locker room for his bag, he must look like a crazy person but he doesn't care, he doesn't even care when he hears someone call him speedy Gonzales, he doesn't even reply that that joke doesn't work because he is cuban american and speedy is Mexican,he is too busy because his Mami must be showing Tyler the pictures of when she dressed him as an elf for Christmas. 

The worst part of everything is that he can totally see Tyler loving it and making it his new screensaver. 

When he gets there, he is even more sweaty,his hair is probably a mess and he can feel his shirt clutching to his chest and his breath is coming out heavy and fast,he feels dirty and uncomfortable and wished that he had taken a shower, he has to stop when he gets there and put his hands on his knees just to rest for a second. 

“Alex?” Tyler asks but Alex doesn’t reply, he just lifts up his hand asking him to give him a couple of seconds to recover,Tyler pats him in the back and gives him a bottle of water that he had on his backpack. 

“Are you okay, Papito?” his mami asks him as he straightens out and nods as he chugs down the entire bottle of water.

“I’m fine” he says as he leans down to give his mami a kiss on the cheek “you didn’t say you were coming to pick me up today”

“Surprise” she says but her eyes are clearly telling him you are grounded, don’t you remember?, he is honestly grateful that she doesn’t say it outloud “you came out early today”

“Different motivation” he said right away as he took Tyler’s hand and pulled him closer to him, he wanted to apologize to him for not showering but Tyler seemed unbothered by his sweaty hands, he just rubbed his thumb in the back of his hands like he did a few hours ago, he turned to look at him smiling “hi”

“hi” Tyler said with an equally soft smile.

“HI” his mom interrupts them, Alex has to hold himself back from groaning, that’s when she gives him a sympathetic look and adds “i was telling Tyler that if he wants, he can come with us and i can drive him home”.

“Really?” Alex asks excited, maybe a little too much because his mom has this taken back look on her face but there is also understanding in her eyes like maybe she is thinking about her first love or maybe she just thinks it’s sweet. 

“My backpack is already in the trunk” Tyler says nodding and beaming.

“You can wait inside if you want” his mom says as she fondly rolls her eyes.

Alex doesn't need to be asked twice, they go to the car and sit in the back, he knows this isn't the pinnacle of privacy but at least they can sit next to each other without feeling anyone sneering or making a stupid comment. 

Of course as soon as they get there Tyler’s phone starts beeping, he frowns for a second before Tyler starts laughing and Alex leans in thinking that he is going to see a new meme but instead he sees a picture of his four year old self trying to eat the boot of one of Elena's barbies,not like she was using them anyway, the only time she did was when she was basically playing Barbie Law and Order with them.

He looked through the window to see his Mami staring back at him with amusement, Alex just shook his head back to her but to his indignation this just made her laugh. 

“you were so cute” he pinched Alex's cheek as he stared at the picture “look at your eyes, you are so adorable and look at your little face-”

“God take me now” Alex says looking up and Tyler nudged him while he stared at other pictures and laughed. 

“okay I have a question” he said pointing at a picture of 5 year old Alex playing with Elena's barbies but right next to them, there is a circle of Legos and in the middle are dinosaurs figurines “are the Legos a castle or-”

“It was a moat full of dragons that want to kill you” he admits, Tyler laughs hysterically and Alex wants to be offended but he loves it when he cackles “i was playing some sort of games of thrones barbie edition to be honest?”

“that explains why she doesn't have a head” Tyler said pointing at a redhead barbie that he was pretty sure was originally the little mermaid but Alex renamed her Valeria. 

“Valeria lost her head because she betrayed the legion”

“Jesus Christ, Alex-”

“Don't worry, she came back after a zombie attack so I glued her head back”

“what happened after?” Tyler asked looking genuinely curious. 

“She tried to eat Queen Maribel’s brain but she defeated her with her all women army”

“Satisfying ending, Elena must have loved playing barbies with you”

“Meh, she liked to see me play mostly” Alex explained “I would like plan this whole thing and show it to my Abuelita and Elena, it was like an small show”

“That's the cutest thing I have ever heard”

“Elena liked it mostly because of my lack of male characters”

“i bet that it was better than the 100” 

“It definitely was and it had a happy lesbian couple, it was mostly because we didn’t have a Ken but still” Alex admits, he has never seen the 100 but he still remembers when Lexa died, it was hell on earth in his house “Also don’t mention that show in front of Elena, she thinks of Lexa and she goes on this rant, it’s crazy” 

“Oh, i get it, my sister is still pissed about the ending of the l word” Tyler released a sharp, irritated huff “It’s been ten years, Alex, ten years”

“Are you telling me that i’m still going to be hearing about Lexa in the year 2029?” Alex said in disbelief.

“Since i’m still hearing about Jenny Schecter, it's not unlikely, I mean my sister didn't really liked her, she is just pissed that she doesn't know how she died” Tyler said lost in his thoughts “we’ll probably hear about the 100 again but it will be because of a reboot” 

“I would be okay with a reboot if it means that Lexa gets to live, if she dies again, my sister will go crazy and kill the writers”

Tyler laughs again and Alex wishes he could record and make it his ringtone. 

And speaking of the devil, Elena is walking towards the car with their Mami, they both are looking at him like he was a baby deer who just learned how to walk, it's like they had just agreed to be as weird and embarrassing as possible and suddenly he regrets every decision he has taken that got him to this moment. 

But then he turns to look at Tyler who looks so amused by this situation, who doesn't care about his sweaty hands, who kisses him without hesitation and who is looking at him like he holds the world in his hands. 

He takes it back. He regrets nothing, it's all worth it. 

His mami and Elena ask Tyler questions about his trip to New York and he tells them things that he already told Alex like the concerts he went to,how his brother took him to watch the phantom of the opera, the cooking at two in the morning how they made a blanket fort in the living room and the places Jeremy took him out to eat. 

There are things that he leaves out like how he had lasagna for breakfast, how every night Jeremy and him would eat donuts and hot chocolate for dinner and how he let him ride his motorcycle in the middle of the night,he doesn't tell them because he doesn't want them to think that Jeremy is reckless and irresponsible.

He won't tell those parts to Jill and Jason either for the same reason. 

They are getting closer to Tyler’s house and as soon as they do Elena starts talking about how much she loves his house, it’s not hard to know why,it has rainbow blinders in every window, a rainbow picket fence around it and a nice garden behind it.

Alex likes the house because when the delivery guy is lost, all they have to say is “it’s the only red house in the block so you can’t miss it”.

Oh that and the GO AWAY mat.

He likes Tyler’s house but he has been seeing it for three years, he is no longer surprised by it anymore (Elena is because it’s her dream house and yeah, he gets why) and right now he is dreading getting there because he wants to stay with Tyler for longer and by the way he tightens the grip around his hand, it seems like he feels the same way.

His house is also close to school so he doesn’t have to deal with the L.A. traffic the same way they do suddenly Alex feels bad because he realizes how much he would have gone out of his way to walk him home. 

That’s when he has a relasation, Tyler wanted to walk him home and be the one to walk him to baseball practice because he was trying to spent more time with him, he didn’t care about going out of his way, he cared about having a few more minutes with him.

“We are here” his mami announces as she parks the car.

“Can i walk him?” he asks, Tyler hasn’t even finished taking off his seatbelt.

“to his porch?” his mami asks back like she is both amused and bewildered because Alex sounds like if he doesn’t walk him there,Tyler is going to get lost because of bad eyesight, still Alex nods furiously, he hopes that his mami won’t tell him that he is being ridiculous because he already knows that and doesn’t need to hear it, his mami rolls her eyes but nods and smiles as she says “fine, go”

Tyler thanks his mom for driving him home and says goodbye to Elena before they get out of the car, he helps Tyler to open the trunk so he can get his backpack out, they walk to his porch, once they are at the door, they smiled at each other as Tyler leaned against the door looking a little awkward and shy like he wasn’t sure if he could kiss him, so Alex decides to make the first move,he leans forward closing the distance to give Tyler a kiss.

It was short.

It wouldn’t have been if it wasn’t because the door suddenly opens up and Tyler almost falls, Alex is able to stop it by holding his arms and he stabilizes himself, that’s when they both notice Jill standing there with a giant grin that looks like she is trying not to break into laughter, Butch is standing right next to her wagging her tail and barking trying to get Tyler’s attention. 

“Sorry kid, are you okay?” she asks patting him in the back “i was just going to take Butch out for a walk”

“No, it’s cool, i’ll do it” Tyler says without looking at her, he looks incredibly mortified and his face is blotchy red. 

“Hi Alex” she waves and she looks far too smug like at one point she predicted that this was going to happen but she has this friendly and affectionate smile that she always had when she saw him so not a lot has changed. 

“Hi Jill” he replies still holding onto a very mortified Tyler who kept on looking to the ground. 

She starts waving again but this time she says “Hi Penelope! Hi Elena!”

“HI Jill!” They yelled from the car and then it's just his mom saying “IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!”

“I KNOW” Jill yelle back, that's when Alex understands Tyler’s mortification, even if now Tyler looks more flustered than anything as he takes the leash from Jill. 

“I’m going to walk Butch,i’ll be back soon” Tyler says but Alex can read between the lines and he is actually saying please leave and close the door, you can’t see how awkward i’m feeling? THIS IS WEIRD AND EMBARRASSING.

“Okay” she says still looking amused and smug “BYE PENELOPE, WE’LL CATCH UP LATER, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIM HOME”

“SURE THING, DON’T WORRY, YOU ARE WELCOME” his mom yelled back.

“See you in a bit kid, Bye Alex” she says and finally closes the door, Butch is already out and looks like she is ready to go to the park. 

“As you can see i told her and she is very happy for us” Tyler says, voice breaking and face still red. 

“i can see that” Alex said, he was only a little worried about how Tyler’s siblings would react, he knows that they like him but he knows they can be protective of him “what did Jason said?”

“To make the long story short, he is happy for us,he was worried that it might be-”

“Finn?”

“Yeah but don’t tell him that you’ll hurt his feelings”

“aren’t you the same that a couple of weeks ago said that he would kick Finn in the nuts, if he said you are welcome“ Alex said comically.

“Yeah but i won’t hurt his feelings , i’m not a monster” Alex Laughed “anyway,he is just surprised that i kept quiet about it for so long-"

“probably because he knew about your undying gay love for me?” Alex asks teasingly and Tyler’s face turns into a different shade of red as Butch keeps jumping around and barking.

Tyler crosses his arms and rolls his eyes so it’s a surprise when he still gives him a soft brief kiss on the lips and he whispers against his mouth “Bye Alex”. 

He pulls back almost instantly, he doesn’t give Alex any time to recover from the unexpected kiss, Tyler’s teasing grin quickly turning into his normal smile when he says goodbye and thanks Alex’s mom. 

Tyler walks away and Alex jumps inside of the car, he can see that Elena’s evil grin through the rear-view mirror, he doesn’t want to hear what she has to say, he is pretty sure, he is blushing too now so he starts talking “Did you have to show my baby pictures to Tyler?”

His mami laughs amused “Yes, Elena hide all of hers so i could never show them to Syd so this was my second chance, i couldn’t waste it”. 

“Why didn’t you hide mine?” he asks, Elena’s evil grin widens and he just knows that she was part of this “so much for woolawoo and moolamoo solidarity”

Elena groans loudly, Alex can’t see her face because he is putting his seatbelt on but he knows she looks completely done as she tells him “There is no solidarity because you keep pronouncing WLW and MLM like that”

“You are wrong, i pronounce it like that because there is no solidarity” he responds and puts his headphones on.

Before he presses play on the first song, he can hear his mom asking “what the heck are you two talking about?”

***** 

He finishes his homework just in time to sit with his abuelita to watch “Rubi”, it’s an old mexican telenovela, it came out back in 2004 but everytime Televisa reruns the series, she watches it all over again, it’s not like Alex doesn’t like telenovelas because he does, he watched every single episode of “para volver a amar”, “Betty la fea” and “Yo amo a Juan Querendón”, Abuelita and him even got Elena into “Amar a la muerte”, she agreed to because well there are lesbians in the show, they are adorable and apparently unkillable but with “Rubi”, he didn’t get the appeal or why his abuelita liked it so much but since he was grounded and couldn’t watch anything else, he decided to give it a try because why no?

He started watching and finally got why his abuelita liked it so much, turns out Rubi was very addictive show, there was so much shit going down that you just couldn’t look away. 

Also well, Rubi might be evil but she is hot so there were a lot of reasons to keep watching. 

During the commercials, him and his abuelita asks him about how school go, he knows she is curious after all she is more caught up with everything going on in his friend group than some of his friends, he tells her about the baby, the funny joke Tyler told him about the excess of homework, that there are no updates about how things are going between Cameron and Michelle but he hopes that things work out between them, how Tyler got him chocolate pudding because he was feeling off today, Finn is having a date with Mackenzie tomorrow,Tyler auditioned for the school play and he just knows that he is going to be the male lead because objectively speaking he has the best voice out of everyone in drama club, Mrs. Valdez said he did good at baseball and his mom drover Tyler home today and he-

“what?” he asks when he notices that his abuelita is giving him this funny look like she knows something that he doesn’t.

“I’m not saying anything” she says as she takes a sip of her coffee “so from what you are saying el flaquito is doing alright?” 

His abuelita decided a long time ago that was going to be Tyler’s nickname ever since the first time she saw him when Alex invited him home for lunch, she didn’t say anything but she served Tyler twice the food than she did with everyone else, when he finished the whole thing and thank her, his abuelita pinched his cheeks, she was impressed. 

“Yeah, he is alright, i guess” he says cautiously since his Abuelita is giving him a look.

“And he is still single, right?” she asks taking another sip of her coffee.

“Yep, he is single but not mingling” Alex says and she nods like she knows, like somehow Alex just gave it away, he hasn’t told his abuelita yet, not because he doesn’t want to, he actually wanted to tell her sooner, specially after telling mami and more now that he came out to the whole school but when he got caught for vaping, his excuse was that it was because he was dating a girl named Maria Juana or Mary Jane or whatever who was bad influence and now he thinks that if he tells his abuelita about everything, the other life will fall apart and he doesn’t want his abuelita to know about that, he is so sure that she is going to be disappointed and sad, he is not going to be able to see her like that.

But he wants to tell her, it’s hard not to tell her, she is his best friend and he is so used to telling her everything. 

“Maybe, he’ll find someone soon” she says and helds Alex’s hand like she is giving him courage of some sort, he thinks about it, about coming out and coming clean right then and there, this is a good moment right?

He open his mouth but that’s when the telenovela starts again and they both turn to screen and gasp at the same time when Hector leaves Maribel at the altar. 

*****

After he is done with dinner and he is about to go to bed, when he notices that he has a new follower.

@jeremytwinkleton.

He has seen that one before, usually tagged on Tyler’s vacation posts and suddenly he remembers that Tyler said that he told all of his siblings.

He had forgotten that includes Jeremy.

That’s when he realizes that he doesn’t just have a new follower but two new messages.

It’s not that Alex doesn’t like Jeremy, sure they have seen each other plenty of times but Alex doesn’t really know him. 

Like with Jill, He has known her for three years, remembers the first time he meet her, she came to pick up Tyler and one teacher asked “is your husband running late?”,she replied by laughing and ridiculously saying “oh, VERY late”. He knows things about her like how she is the biggest fan of Law & Order:SVU, if you ask her if an actor or actress has guest starred in the show, she will not just tell you if they have but also the episode and the season, that her and her girlfriend never miss an episode of the bachelor even if they both consider it and he quotes “the worst thing that came out of heterosexuality”,that she always buys sunflowers for her girlfriend, that she loves her job and she is very dedicated to it heart and soul but that everything is always going to take a backseat to her family, that out of everyone she is the one that Tyler always ask when he has a question about their parents and she was the one to give him the photo album of their parents.

Tyler showed him a picture of her as a teenager and she looks like a cooler lesbian version of Danny from Grease but now she is 36 and obviously people change, instead of the sunglasses and leather jacket that she has on the photo, she just wears glasses, jean jackets, flannels and suits to go to work. 

Then there is Jason who looks like a regular character on Law and order, playing Elliot Stabler’s long lost non intimidating brother or something like that, Alex knows that Jason is a lawyer that hates arguing, he says he gets enough of it in the courtroom, that he tooks classes to be able to braid his daughter's hair, that if he goes to a wedding or a party, him and his wife are the first to be at the dance floor and the last ones to leave, that Tyler buys him ridiculous ties that are more jokes than anything for his birthday, it's their thing, he also doesn't talk to Tyler about their parents but he does things like pancakes and telling Tyler “this are just like mom used to make” or “no, we put it this way in the christmas tree because dad used to do it like that, it's a tradition”.

He knows Jason too, he knows that Jason hates sports and exercise the same way Tyler does but he learned to surf to impress his wife and he taught Tyler how to do it too, that he likes the beach and has been teaching Tyler how to drive since he was twelve, that he falls asleep easily, his mom has seen it happen during different PTA meetings but he never does it when he goes to a school play, that he was a very stand up guy in high school but in his own words, he would get roped into his sister’s antics so he also smoke pot and stole his parent’s car even if has seen his pictures and as a kid Jason looked like a 90’s character in a sitcom in which he wasn’t allowed to swear.

The point that he is trying to make is that he knows a lot about Jason and Jill so he likes them and he knows that they like him.

But with Jeremy, he still only knows the same three things about him that he did the first time he meet him three years ago.

He remembers the first time he meet Jeremy, it was back when they were all in seventh grade,Tyler fell off of his bike and somehow managed to not only break his arm but also end up with a bloody nose and hurt his chin.

They had decided to give him a visit when he was at the hospital so Finn, Cameron, Hugo and him all got inside of his mom’s car and she drove them there, Elena went with them too but she complained the whole way there about them being loud and trying to change the radio station.

When they got there, they were fighting to be the first one to sign Tyler’s cast and Alex thought that he’ll be the one for sure because he brought his own sharpie and he got there first because he could hear Tyler’s laughter so he knew what door to knock but when he did, he was a little taken back because he was expecting to see Jill’s friendly smile or Jason’s polite wave but instead he saw dark-circles eyes, messy hair and a grimace. 

“you are Alex, right?” he asked, Alex nodded but didn’t said anything and they stayed like that in some sort of weird staring contest until Cameron got there and pushed him a side, he still remembers how he greeted Jeremy and walked in with a sharpie in his hand. 

That’s when realized that Cameron stole his sharpie.

Alex walked in behind him but before he could say that what Cameron had done was cheating, he had already signed the cast, he moved a side and saw Tyler was laying in the bed without his glasses, a patch covering his chin and another one covering his nose.

Hugo and Finn arrived a couple of seconds later, he remembers what hisTyler’s first words were when he saw them "Guys I'm so happy to see you, you all look so fucking blurry”. Jeremy ruffled his hair and told him to "have some fucking language", his face had visibly softened into a warm smile when he looked how happy Tyler was when he saw them. 

Elena and mami walked behind them and rolled their eyes at them fighting for the sharpie to be the next one to sign it, that’s when Tyler introduced them to Jeremy, three years had gone by, he has seen Jeremy several times and he still only knows the same stuff Tyler said about him that he is his brother, lives in new york, illustrator (back then he was in college so that has changed) he likes concerts and owns a motorcycle. 

Oh and he likes to cook at two a.m. if he can’t sleep. 

That’s when something dawned on him (three years later but hey better late than never) that Jeremy called him by his name before Tyler introduced them. Now he is sitting there wondering what he said about him and how much did Tyler said about him? how much did Jeremy knew then? and how much does he know now?

Did he knew that Tyler liked him before he did? 

The idea of Jeremy knowing a lot about Alex while he knows almost nothing about Jeremy is strange because he hadn’t consider it before, he always thought about the two of them as opposites parts of Tyler’s life that collide during Tyler’s birthday and that jeremy felt the exact same way and maybe he did but now that Tyler and him are dating, he has changed his mind and wants them to get to know each other. 

Or maybe he just wants to tell Alex “If you even think of hurting my brother i will break your legs”.

And if it is like that, then he is a little offended because he would never EVER even think of hurting Tyler and Jeremy doesn’t even know him that well so he has not right to speak to him like that.

He is already planning the whole paragraph about how Jeremy doesn’t know him at all and has not right to say anything about him, that he likes Tyler a lot and has serious plans to make him the happiest boy alive for as long as he lets him and honestly him threatening a fifteen year old when he is twenty six is pathetic but when he opens the message and instead of a threat or a greeting, it’s just a picture.

At the beginning he thinks that it’s an average family picture there is Jill wearing comfortable practical clothing,Jason looking fancy and professional as always, they look younger of course they are probably in their early twenties, Jeremy who looks like he is about their age in the picture, he is wearing all black dark clothes and large combat boots, that’s when the picture stops being average because around Jeremy’s arms are wrapped around a teeny tiny six year old Tyler who is wearing a cookie monster costume, the whole family has matching grins, Alex assumes that it was taken in halloween. 

The second message just says “Don’t let him convince you this was halloween, this was in the middle of february, he just really liked to wear costumes”. 

He responds with a “thank you” and a thumbs up emoji, Jeremy doesn’t reply and Alex doesn’t push. 

He focuses on Tyler in the picture and starts cooing, he finally understand Tyler’s reaction to his baby picture, after all look at that little face and little eyes, he looks so cute and he has this little tiny smile, he is just cute, he can’t stop looking at him, he looks so cute sitting on Jeremy’s lap, now they could be the same height. 

A long time ago Elena told him that Tyler was going to look like Jeremy when he was older and Alex was bewildered by the comment because to him Tyler just looks like Tyler and there is no need to compare him to anyone, sure, he can admit that there is resemblance but Tyler looks more like Jill, if you ask him and now looking at a picture of Jeremy at Tyler’s age, he still thinks that they look vastly different from the colors of their hair to the eyes, to the clothes.

Tyler doesn’t dress like Jeremy,he almost never wears black, it was weird to see him like that in San Valentine’s day but he assumes that he dressed that way so that people wouldn’t see him climbing the fire escape and he was so happy to see him that day that he didn’t even cared, the best way to describe Tyler’s style is colorful and warm if it doesn’t match he doesn’t really care, he loves to wear graphic t-shirts that he always tucks in, most of the time he has a belt on and he cuffs his jeans, If it's cold or breazy, he'll wear a retro jacket or a flannel that makes him look somewhere in between a nerdy character from the 80's cheesy coming of age film and a gay coded character in a 90's film.

He looks a little ridiculous sometimes but Alex loves the way he looks even if sometimes he looks like the poster child of people who spend too much time on pinterest and tumblr and he would still like him even if he was wearing black clothes, colorful clothes or a cookie monster costume. 

Alex takes a screenshot of a zoom on Tyler and makes it his lockscreen. 

*****

“Hey, you won’t believe what my new brother in law sent me yesterday” he said when Tyler sat next to him in lunch, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until he saw Alex’s new lockscreen. 

“Oh my god” Tyler says taking his phone away from him “Did Jeremy sent you this?”

“Yeah” he said staring at Tyler’s reaction, he still looked confused but there was still a smile forming in his lips like he just couldn’t believe this.

“It was halloween-” he tries quickly but Alex shakes his head before he finishes the sentence.

“He already told me that it wasn’t halloween” he said feeling smug as Tyler said dammit underneath his breath. 

“Well, i didn’t knew that you guys were best friends now” he said jokingly as he gave him back his phone “to be honest i’m glad it was that one”.

“wait, there are more?” Alex asks and Tyler looks away which means that yes, there are and Alex HAD to see them, he leans in and whispers “you have to show them to me, i told you about my barbies”

“I just really liked to wear costumes so i have a lot of pictures wearing them and some are embarrassing so you are never going to see them” he whispered back, Alex started to pout and started to move his eyelashes trying to do his best sad puppy dog face, Tyler rolled his eyes and sighed before saying “FINE, i’ll send them to you later”

“Great” Alex said as he takes Tyler’s hands in his silently smiling to himself.

“Hello lovebirds” Finn said as he sat next to them “what are you two talking about?”

“Nothing” they both say at the same time, before smiling at each other. 

“That’s gay” Finn says jokingly, Alex can’t help to laugh,Tyler does it too but he still throws some fries at Finn’s face “What? It is gay!”

“What is gay?” Cameron asks before sitting down looking a little confused but Tyler does a dismissive gesture with his hand that basically means don’t pay attention to it “I thought you guys would be talking about how the new Yeezys” 

“What?” Alex said shocked, he had heard nothing about it but saw Finn nodding “You knew about this? and you didn’t say anything?”

“I was but i got a little distracted by you guys being gay-ALEX TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND TO KEEP HIS FRIES DOWN!”

“Yeah, babe, you are wasting food” he said, Tyler rolled his eyes but ate his fries in silence, he could see that Finn wanted to say something else but closed his mouth when Alex lifted an eyebrow “anyway, you were saying about the Yeezys” 

“Oh, yeah, Michelle just told me that they are going to be released this saturday” Cameron said like nothing important was happening, sometimes Alex really wondered how they all ended up in the same friend group. 

“Do you think you can pick it up for me?” he asked Finn who shook his head. 

“I’m going to buy them on resale” Finn says like it’s nothing to pay double for those sneakers, Alex can’t even imagine having that much money “i’m busy this weekend, my dad said he wants to spent some quality time with me or whatever”

“That’s good, right?” Tyler asks this time passing him fries, looking a little concerned. 

“I’d much rather wait in line” he said taking the fries with a shrug “if we get into an ugly fight i might be able to make it but i can’t promise you anything, sorry Alex”

“Nah, it’s okay” Alex said sympathetically “Cameron i know you hate doing lines but-”

“I would love to do it but i can’t, Haanish and me are going to be building the furniture for the baby because he read in some parenting book that i might get jealous of the baby if i don’t feel like i’m part of the changes or something ” Cameron explained with shrug “sorry Alex”

“it's okay” he says and that’s when he turns to Tyler,he hadn’t asked him before because he already knew that he was kind of busy that day, he was going to practice for the school's musical, they just got back the results of their auditions and he had gotten the role of Fiyero just like Alex had predicted, not that he is bragging but he was right, he knew that he was going to to get it “hey babe-”

"Awwwwwwwww, babe” He is interrupted by Finn but he covers his mouth and lets him continue,Alex thinks it’s because Tyler just kicked him under the table. 

“like i was saying, i know you have rehearsal but do you have any plans for later?” Alex already knows the answer before Tyler responds because he is not looking at him, he is staring intensely at his burger which means that he can’t. 

“I would love to help you out but i promised that i was going to help the costume department and believe me it’s a mess, i can’t just back out at the last minute” 

“It's okay, don't worry about it” he said nodding and then squeezing Tyler’s hand so that he would know that everything was okay, he knew that Tyler hated to disappoint people. 

“Hey you still have Hugo” Tyler offered. 

“I'll be surprised if he didn't have his own money saved and wasn't ready to do the line himself” Cameron added and Finn nodded. 

Alex felt relieved, they were right, Hugo was the answer, he could give him the money today and he could go to pick up the shoes tomorrow. 

And there he was walking in their direction with his lunch tray. 

He is waiting for Hugo to be officially sitting down but that's when he puts out some envelopes of different colors from his backpacks, Finn gets one, Alex gets six, Tyler gets four and Cameron gets two. 

Hugo doesn’t have to tell them what it is, they already know that it’s his dad’s wedding invitations, they all open it at the same time, the first thing Alex sees is “gorgeous pair of grooms, booze,food & bad dance moves, you in or what?” in big bold letters in different colors,he turns the invitation around and sees “Two grooms are better than one” there is a drawing of wedding rings under it. 

Then there was the rest of the information and when you know that shit just got real,“Samuel Ludgate & Isaac Allen are getting married” right next to the information of the date and the place, Alex loves it, he thinks it’s both cute and simple. 

“It’s really cool, dude” Finn says as he carefully puts the invitation inside of one of his books and then his backpack.

“Yeah, congratulations” Cameron asks as he keeps on reading the invitation. 

“You don’t have to worry about anything dude, we’ll be there” Tyler adds as he keeps on the checking out the invitation.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world” Alex reassured him with a smile but he could see that Hugo had an expression like he had just swallowed a bug.

“I loved all of your reactions because it just confirmed to me that this is how normal thinking people react” Hugo sounds so incredibly angry and he can tell that everyone else in the table has the same confused look on his face “like normal people react this way,when you get a wedding invitation, you say “that’s so cool”, “i love how it looks”, “we’ll be there” or if you are not going to go, you just make up a damn reason, right?”

They don’t even open their mouths, it’s obvious that Hugo hasn’t finished yet, however they all do start eating their lunch as they nod and listen. 

“Like you can just make up a reason, you can lie about it, just lie you know like a normal thinking person, it doesn’t have to be a good lie, it can be a bad one about how you just know you are going to get sick that day or witch told you your hamster is going to die in that exact date” he says, it looks like veins are popping up on his necks and he is hitting his chicken with a fork “You know what a normal person doesn’t do when you sent an invitation? they don’t respond with an article about how anal sex is bad for your soul”

Alex is honestly so glad that he wasn’t drinking water when Hugo said that, Finn is basically choking on his sandwich, Cameron just stops eating all together like he just lost all appetite and Tyler just sits there frozen like he just hasn’t finished processing what Hugo just said.

“Hugo, what type of language is that?” says a voice that almost makes Alex jump out of his seat and scream dios mio, he turns to look at sister Barbara who is staring at them and he finally understands why his mom talked about how she would sneak up on people with her demonic voice, when he gets home, he is going to ask her if why didn’t she mention that she also had this judgy stare that came with the package. 

It’s like the first time he has ever noticed that glare, however it’s not completely directed to Hugo but to Alex and Tyler as well, she is not saying anything but she is giving him this judgy stare that makes him rolls his eyes and her stare becomes judgier. 

“I’m sorry, sister barbara, it won’t happen again” Hugo says voice and posture completely changing but Alex can see that there is still anger in his eyes that he is trying to hide. Sister Barbara decides to leave them alone with just a warning, she says that if she hears someone in the table talking like that again then there is going to be detention for everyone, they just nod and apologize even if they aren’t sure why. 

That’s when he notices that Camila was standing behind her waiting patiently until she was gone, Hugo looked shocked to see her, Alex didn’t blame him, she was in a lot of clubs and extracurricular activities, most of the time she ate her lunch with the kids from the school’s newspaper so she could do all of her work at once. 

As soon as Sister Barbara is far away enough, Camila whispers “it’s not like anal or sex are bad word”. 

She grabs a chair from the table next to him, Cameron moves a side to make space for her still looking at his plate of food like he is just so sure that he is never going to get his appetite back. 

“Hey,” Hugo said still surprised as he reached his arm around her “i thought you had a meeting with the-”

“It’s cool, i talked to Elena and i finished early so don’t worry about it” she says simply as she curl into his side as he pulled her closer, the position looked uncomfortable but they looked like they just wanted to be close and they didn’t care so no one said anything “hi guys”

 

They all said “hi” to her simultaneously, surprised to see her as well, Hugo keep on offering her food but she said she ate while she finished her work so he should eat, that’s when they rearrange positions so that Hugo can eat and hold her hand at the same time. 

“Anyway as i was saying” Hugo said continuing with the story “My grandparents sent that and they could have just said that they weren’t coming and we could have called it a day but no, they had to send that article”.

Alex wants to say something but before he does, he makes sure that Sister Barbara is near them, he even says it in spanish so even if she hears him “Ellos probablemente piensan que el sexo anal es malo para el alma porque creen que al igual que ellos todos tenemos el alma dentro del culo” 

Hugo starts laughing hard as soon he says it, Alex doesn’t care if the rest of the table doesn’t understand him, Camila stifles a laughter and he can hear Tyler let out a small chuckle even if he doesn’t understand it but Alex appreciate it nonetheless.

“We have this aunt who always sent us this pamphlets about how we are all going to hell and we are all sinners, blah, blah,blah, I usually paint them white and make Christmas decorations with them,It’s just bullshit”Tyler agrees after the laughter dies down and Hugo nods. 

“Elena would love that, it’s both ignoring homophobia and recycling” Alex says and Camila seems to agree as she steals a bit of Hugo’s chicken. 

“What did your dad said?” Finn asks and then carefully adds “sorry, that’s too personal,you don’t have to talk about it-”

“He wants to be the bigger person and turn the other cheek so i’m staying angry on his behalf”

“You are such a good son” Camila says leaning her head against his shoulder, Hugo snorts “i think that he could be relieved, he doesn’t need the kind of stress of worrying about them doing the whole “I object”, you know?” 

“Yeah, it’s just that they know how hard it was for him to come out, they should be proud of him” Hugo says like he just got an idea “I guess I’m joining you in the shitty grandparents club, Cameron”

“Cool” Cameron said patting him in the back “If it helps i got my revenge once”

“How?” Hugo asks and Cameron takes a breath like he is getting ready to lost all of his dignity.

“When i was a baby and he lifted me, i shitted on him”

It does the trick, Hugo starts laughing, now Finn looks like he is the one who lost all his appetite and when Tyler says “what a power move”, Alex is the one who can’t stop laughing.

*****

When Alex comes home, he waits until dinner so he can give everyone their invitations but he tells his abuelita about the situation after “Rubi” is over.

Well he tells her a version of the history, he leaves out the part of Hugo's grandparents sending Mr.Ludgate an article about how anal sex is bad for the soul because he doesn’t think that his poor Abuelita is going to be able to handle that so he just tells her that his parents are not going to the wedding because they are not okay with him being gay,he is not expecting her automatic reaction to be to offer to walk Samuel to that aisle herself if his parents don’t want to go. 

“I am telling you i will go there and walk that man myself, those two they are just being stupid, they are missing out in such a special and beautiful day, they should be over that by now” she says as they watch a commercial about a new brand of milk and she checked behind her like if she was trying to make sure that no one was there “can i tell you a secret?”

“Sure, anything” he says hoping that this is not like that one time his abuelita killed Elena’s pet with Fabuloso. 

“When Elena came out, i had a problem with it” she says and Alex can’t bring himself to judge her because of two reasons his abuelita already sounds so ashamed of herself like she can’t believe that she thought that at one point in her life and the second reason is because he can’t never be mad at her “i thought that it was against god but he made us in his image and god doesn’t make mistakes”. 

“Clearly” Alex adds pointing at both of them, his abuelita laughs and squeezes his hand.

“Besides the pope himself say “who i may to judge?” and the pope represents god” she says strongly “and what? i may suppose to go against the pope and god? WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM” her voice turned back to normal as she said “and then i was good”

“That’s great, abuelita” he says as he puts his arm around her “who knows? maybe they will surprise us and change their minds”

“Hopefully” she says as the next comercial plays in front of them “you know papito? i wouldn’t care if you were gay, i would love you just as much and as long as i get my own figurine in your wedding cake and they make you happy, i don’t care who you marry”

There is a voice inside of his head screaming that this is the time, the perfect moment to come out, it could be casual, it could be good, his Abuelita just told him how okay she would be with everything,he should just tell her, just turns his head towards her and tell her. 

“Besides i will be the only woman you have ever loved” she says and he is about to open his mouth, he just turn his head towards her when a new commercial about “Fabuloso” appears and Elena walks through the door. 

They both bolt out of their seats and when Elena questions them, they talk about how they just can’t believe that Rubi and Hector just run away to Cancun and poor Maribel saw them kissing at the airport. 

“It was heartbreaking” they both say at the same time “pobrecita Maribel” 

“You guys are weird” Elena tells them as she leaves the room and they let out sighs of relief.

****

Alex is still a little worried about Hugo so he calls him to see how he is doing, he answers the phone call, he asks him “hey dude, how are you doing?”

“Well, i just finished having dinner with my mom and my dad and their boyfriends” Hugo says, Alex still remembers the first time Hugo ended up having dinner with his parents and significant others, he called him desperate talking about how he was going to need therapy to get over this but right now he sounds calm even happy as he says it casually as ever “so just an average day, what about you?”

“I also just finished eating dinner” he says as he yawns “how is your dad?” 

“He says he is fine but i think i’m going to stay with him all weekend and watch star trek just keep him busy you know?”

“Yeah,i get it” Alex says remembering the Yeezys but quickly deciding to not even mention it “My abuelita said that they are being stupid and that she will walk them to the aisle herself if his parents don’t want to”

“Tell Lydia thank you” Hugo said, he could hear him sigh “can she adopt me as grandson? i don’t even have to be her favorite grandson, i’ll be like another Elena, she won’t notice i’m there” 

“Okay, i’m pretty sure you are her favorite out of all of my friends if that helps” he says and it’s true, his abuelita might like that Tyler can eat anything that she puts in front of him but she loves Hugo, maybe because she has known him for longer, since he was around ten and he would come over to watch “the spectacular spiderman” on Disney XD and his abuelita would make enchiladas, she really liked Hugo because he could actually speak spanish and because he would know exactly what she is cooking. 

His abuelita and Hugo’s dad actually used to have a silent competition of making the same thing for their lunches and then asking them to choose which one was better, It was an stressful time back then. 

 

When their parents got divorced at the same time, they used to only talk about it with each other, the biggest difference was that Alex still had a tiny bit of hope that his parents might get back together but Hugo was sure that his parents were never ever getting back together, at the beginning Alex didn’t get why but about six months later, Hugo explained the whole thing to him and everything made sense.

His dad came out to him at an ice cream shop and Hugo admitted to Alex that he didn't understand, not completely at least but that his papi looked so scared that Hugo was going to hate him, that he didn't care and he just stood up, hugged his papi and told him that he loved him.

Alex wonders how ten year old Hugo dealt with a coming out better than Alex's papi.

“Good, tell her she is my favorite too” he tells him and Alex actually takes mental note to do that later “hey how did she reacted to the whole Tyler thing?”

“Yeah, funny story, she doesn’t know yet” 

“WHAT?” Hugo screamed. 

“OUCH” Alex said pulling himself away from the phone for a second “i think you-”

“Why haven’t you tell her?” he asks shocked, not even letting Alex finish complaining. 

“I haven’t told her because” he said checking behind his door and sitting in the bed “do you remember how i’m grounded for till college?”

“Yeah, go on”

“Well, my abuelita doesn’t know why, she thinks it’s because i was hanging out with this girl who was a bad influence-”

“Did you named her Mary Jane?” Hugo asks amused “Maria Juana?At what time did you meet her? 4:20?” Alex scoffs but Hugo keeps laughing “Oh, come on, it’s too funny” 

“Anyway what i was saying was that if i tell her about Tyler then i have to tell her about Maria Juana and i don’t think i can do that” he says laying in his bed “but i think she suspects”

“About Maria Juana?”

“No, dumbass, about Tyler”

“How is it that your Abuelita has a better gaydar than you and Elena?” Hugo asks, he still sounds amused. 

“You are enjoying this a little too much,anyway i don’t think that she knows i’m dating Tyler but i think that she thinks that i have a crush on him”

“Maybe she can set you two up and you guys can pretend that’s how you two got together and we all live happily ever after” Hugo says laughing maniacally but Alex is seriously considering it and it seems like Hugo can read minds because the next thing he says is “Don’t even think about it”

“I wasn’t, i just thought it was funny” Alex shrugs even if Hugo can’t see him “and it would be an adorable story to tell and i would finally know when my anniversary is”

“Well, i’m sorry to tell you that what really happened was that Finn dared you two to kiss and you were too busy sucking face to remember the day in which you got together”

“Didn’t you ask Camila to be your girlfriend while you two were picking up trash at the beach?”

“Exactly, at the beach it was very romantic” Hugo explained “Our anniversary is the second of January just so you know”

“Oh, i know” Alex replied with a snort “listen i have to go, i’m still grounded so i have to give my mom the phone at midnight and i want to call Tyler before that”

“It’s cool, see you on monday” Hugo says before hanging up. 

Alex goes through his contact list and presses on Tyler’s name and waits for a bit before he answers the phone with a yawn and a soft “Hi” that Alex shouldn’t find this adorable.

And Yet. 

“Hi, sorry if i wake you” 

“You didn’t, i wasn’t asleep yet, i was just watching buzzfeed unsolved and cuddling with Butch” he says and he can hear him moving in his bed and stretching his arms “and you?”

“i’m calling my wonderful boyfriend just to see how he is doing and to wish him luck tomorrow at his rehearsal-wait are you seriously watching buzzfeed unsolved before going to sleep?” 

Alex likes Buzzfeed Unsolved as much as the next person but he would never watch it before going to bed, one time he tried to but something about the episode had just disturbed him too much even with all of the jokes and even when it’s just a mystery, he ends up waking up in the middle of the night to try to resolve the murder of jonbenet ramsey.

He is expecting Tyler to answer that he is watching it at this time because he has a crush on Ryan so he is willing to suffer but what he says instead is “Yeah, most of the time it helps me to fall asleep”

“WHAT?” Alex responds shocked.

“Not because find it boring, i find it oddly relaxing” Tyler says simply “but to be honest i usually fall asleep to murder documentaries”

“what the fuck?” he says out loud, he can hear Tyler laughing like he thinks Alex’s reaction is the funniest thing “seriously?”

“Yeah, i don’t know why but it does the trick” 

“I mean i knew that you were never scared of Horror movies but-”

“I also like Ryan’s voice so that probably helps too” Boom. there it is. Alex smiles to himself but can’t help to roll his eyes at that “Stop rolling your eyes”

“Are you outside of my room or something?” he asks actually checking through the window.

“There isn’t a fire escape there so i would have to be spiderman to climb to your window and sorry to disappoint you but you are not dating spiderman, you are stuck with little old me and my only superpower is that I just know you really well, you dummy” 

“I’m starting to think that “you dummy” is going to become my pet name or something”

“Only if you like it, you dummy” he says, Alex shakes his head and laughs as he gets inside of his bed “go back to what you were saying about wishing me good luck and everything so i can be all “thanks babe, you are the best” and all of that”

“I just wanted to wish good luck for tomorrow and everything”

“Awww, thanks babe, you are the best” he says and Alex can hear him moving trying to sit down “Did you resolve the thing with Yeezys?”

“Don’t worry about that” Alex insist shaking his head “so you never said who else is going to stay to help the costume department thingy?” 

“You know how Mrs. Hopkins is, she said it was voluntary but maybe she’ll change her mind at the last second and everyone has to stay but the ones who volunteered were Amanda, Denise, Chloe and me”

“Oh” he says surprised, he hadn’t noticed that Chloe had been casted in the play, he had only checked for Tyler’s name 

“yeah” Tyler responded before asking “hey, you don't think I hate chloe do you?”

“I honestly think that you have reserved all of your hate for Donald Trump” Alex tells him and Tyler lets out a chuckle at the other side of the line, he had never thought that Tyler hated Chloe, maybe he avoided her sometimes but he was never mean or anything like that “no, I don't think that you hate Chloe, why? do you?”

“No of course not, don't be ridiculous, it's just that Finn said he thought I did”

“Well, Finn is ridiculous”

“I used to be jealous but I don't hate her” he says more to himself than to Alex and he remembered how when they were at the bathroom at that party Tyler said that he was jealous and how there was bitterness in his voice but now it was almost gone “and I'm not jealous anymore” 

“because you know that you have nothing to be jealous of” he reassures him and even if he can't see him, he knows that Tyler is nodding to himself “I actually think that you guys could get along and be friends”

“i don't know about that,she hates dogs and has a cat”

“two cats”

“ugh” he hears Tyler say and this time Alex laughs, he just can’t believe him sometimes.

“How can you watch murder documentaries before going to bed but find cats scary?”

“I'm not scared of them, I just don't trust them”

“My abuelita doesn't trust them either, she says that cats steal your breath and turn you into a cucuy”

“Well, she is a smart woman” he says before yawning. 

“you are already getting sleepy, I'll let you get back to Ryan so you can finish falling asleep”

“Nah, I don't think that I need him, I'm ready to go” he says yawning again and Alex can't help but to think that he just won something and part of him wants to go HA! IN YOUR FACE, RYAN!

“Sleep well, babe”

“sweet dreams, you dummy” he says before hanging up and Alex falls asleep just a few seconds later.

****

His mami has forgotten about asking for his phone and Alex is not about to remind her about it, he keeps it in his room and doesn’t take it out during breakfast.

When she walks into his room, he almost panics he wants to show her his homework “LOOK,MOM!! I’M NOT HAVING FUN IN ANY SORT OF WAY!!!” but she just asks him to chaperone Elena and Syd. 

It’s not fun, honestly, if it was up to him, he would be at the store waiting to get his Yeezys, that’s when he gets a message from Finn telling him that Cameron was wrong, the new Yeezys drop tomorrow so he still has a chance to get them, he can’t go get them for him because he is stuck with his dad but hey! it’s still something!

It doesn’t change his situation a lot because Cameron, Hugo and Finn are all still busy for the weekend, for a second he thinks that Tyler might do it but then he remembers tomorrow is sunday for Tyler that means family day, it doesn't just mean Sara and Jill hanging out with him but Jason and Alyssa and Zoe. 

Alex knows that Jason is busy a lot with work so Sundays (for the most) part are sacred for the Miller family. 

So he doesn't ask Tyler because he knows that he'll say yes and Alex is not going to let him spent the one day that he has with his whole family in a line at some store. 

He gives one last try ask his Mami to consider letting him just for that day, he pouts and makes a puppy dog face but his Mami shakes her head and he is fucked. 

Alex is actually ready to quit and lost all hope, when his Abuelita offers to go for his shoes, she'll cut them off another person's feet if she has to. 

His hope leaves for a second when she says that she'll pick the ones that go better with his church pants but eventually it comes back. 

*****

When he sees his Abuelita walk in with the box of shoes in her hands, he is so sure that he is going to die of happiness he can't believe that she got them, she really got them. 

Obviously when his Mami found out how much it costed, she sends him upstairs with Schneider for his scared/smart program. 

To her credit, it actually gets to him and it reminds him that money isn't as important as spending time with your family and people who care about you. 

Still he asks if he can take one of the star wars toys for Tyler because he knows that his big Dork will love it, he might give it to him for his anniversary (whenever that is) , he lets him take it and before he goes, he thanks Schneider and gives him a hug for good measure. 

He sells the shoes, the guy buys them for double the price and Alex can't help to feel satisfied as he counts the money but when he tells his Abuelita that he sold them and she throws the pan he can't help but to feel guilty. 

Not just for his Abuelita but for Doctor. B who ended up with a busted nose. 

Still her face when she says that he is going to take her out for dinner with dessert and beverage is worth it. 

“You are good son-grandson” she says and Alex thinks that this could be a good moment to-

His mami walks in with tears in her eyes and just for a few seconds he thinks he might have done something wrong but she insists that it's because Elena is becoming a woman and her babies are growing so fast and-yeah Alex doesn't know what the hell this is all about. 

He hugs her anyway. 

****

The second week back to school is good, he quickly realizes that Tyler and him are quickly becoming part of the routine,on monday people still turn around when they kiss outside of the school,on Tuesday when they walk inside holding hands, people barely turn around, on wednesday they only have to deal with Sister Barbara’s judgy stare and honestly she gives those to every single couple out there so by thursday they are as simple and common as an everyday day to day occurrence, they aren’t news anymore, it’s just like *shrugs* “yeah, Tyler and Alex are dating now” and that’s that.

When it comes to baseball practice, he is not that worried anymore but he is still going to wait to shower at home even if Kevin hasn’t tried to talk to him again and it’s not like he can because Hugo, Finn and Cameron are acting like Alex is the president and they are the goddamn secret service, he appreciates that them really but he thinks that they are exaggerating a little bit.

It’s friday when Mr. White tells them that he is going to leave them a school project for the weekend that they have to turn in on Monday because he obviously hates them, he says that they are going to do it in groups of two before they all start looking for a partner when he adds that he is going to be the one choosing the pairs. 

Alex was about to start groaning with the rest of the class when he gets paired up with Tyler and tries not to show too much excitement because Mr. White might change his mind because after all he still hates them. 

He still turns to Tyler who gives him a quick but giant smile.

****

Alex is shaking his leg and tapping his fingers against the window of the car while he waits to get home, he went grocery shopping with his mami, he calculated the time and Tyler was supposed to get there later but he got there early. 

Which means that Tyler is home alone with his abuelita and Schneider. 

And that makes him nervous.

Well he was already nervous but he is also very excited. 

He knows that he shouldn’t be this excited or this nervous and yet he is, it’s just that he hasn’t been able to see Tyler out of school in the weekend since he was grounded, he knows that they are going to do the english project but still this is a chance to see him and he is nervous because this is the first time Tyler is going to interact with his abuelita since they started dating and Alex knows that makes Tyler nervous which makes him nervous. 

When he gets there, he grabs all of the grocery bags like he somehow just got super strength and he also has super speed because he runs all the way to the apartment, he opens the door but just notices that he doesn’t have his keys and all of his hands are busy,His mom appears next to him and opens the door for him, she says that she has to be quick because she on her way to therapy, he walks in behind her and hears her say “Mami, i’ll see you later, i’m on my way to therapy”.

“Okay, sweetie, but make sure to call her if you’ll be late for dinner” says Schneider who comes out of the kitchen wearing a chef hat, it’s a weird sight but not the weirdest one of course. 

He worries for a second because he can’t see Tyler but then he sees his backpack right next to the couch and calms down for a second.

“It’s like i don’t want to know but also i do” says his mami intrigued by Schneider.

He follows her inside of the kitchen and at first he is distracted because Schneider announces “Hey, your mom wanted to pass down her family recipes to someone worthy so she is teaching me everything” 

“Yeah, this is on me for walking in” his mom says more to herself than to anyone else.

“Tyler, can you come here for a second?” his abuelita asks “i want you to try Schneider's sopa de pollo”

Alex wasn’t sure of where he was expecting to find Tyler but his first choice definitely wasn’t in the corner of the kitchen, wearing his mom’s apron, cutting some vegetables and helping his abuelita and Schneider to cook. 

“I told him that he didn’t have to help out because he is our guest but he insisted,que lindo, verdad?” his abuelita says, Tyler waves at him with a smile and Alex really doesn’t know what to say, all he knows is that he is beaming at him, she makes him try the sopa de pollo, Tyler closes his eyes but as soon as he tastes it his eyes go wide and he doesn’t need to say anything because they already know he thinks it’s great “This is like cuban penicillin, it can cure anything so when you start dating you need to get yourself a nice cuban boy who can get you one of this when you are sick”

He smiles, he can’t believe that his Abuelita is trying to set him up with Tyler, he is glad that they are already dating because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eye. 

“Oh, those are hard to find” Tyler says casually with a shrug but when his abuelita turns around, he gives Alex a unbelievably soft smile “Hi Mrs. Alvarez, hi Alex”

“Hi honey” his mom says and Alex almost leans in to kiss him but he stops himself, it’s just how he used to saying hi to him, it’s basically a reflex, he does it without conscious thought and it’s automatic, he doesn’t think that anyone else notices because his mami is too busy focusing on Abuelita who is focused on the sopa de pollo and complimenting it because it is really good, his abuelita calls him the true heir of her spirit, Schneider and her start singing and dancing. For a second Alex panics but then he turns to Tyler who looks happy to be there and remembers that he sat next to his family in numerous baseball games so he already knows how Alex’s family is and he already likes them, that must be a perk of dating one of your best friends. 

“Okay, i get it” his mami says interrupting Alex’s train of thought.

“Get what? There is nothing to get except for a bowl of Schneider's sopa de pollo which he would be able to pass down to his daughter's handyman” His abuelita, she has this smug satisfied smile on her face and Alex can’t help being amused by the situation, that’s when she turning to Tyler again “por cierto Tyler would you like to take a bowl of Schneider's sopa de pollo a tu casa?”

“Si, muchas gracias, Señora, es muy dulce de su parte” Tyler responds the pronunciation isn’t perfect but it was fluid and-

Alex almost screams because did he just-

Did Tyler just talked to his Abuelita in Spanish? 

When did Tyler even learned Spanish?

His Abuelita smiles at Tyler for a second before pinching his cheeks like she finds the idea of him speaking in Spanish adorable. 

Alex finds it more heartwarming than anything else.

“Mami, remember that Tyler came here to study, not to have fun” his mom says and it feels like it’s more aimed at him and Tyler than to anyone else “Alex is still grounded”

“Fine” his abuelita says resigned “just let them try Schneider’s ropa vieja and then they can go”

“You taught him ropa vieja?” his mom says completely shocked. 

“Yeah” his abuelita replies casually like if nothing had just happened.

“that recipe is so secret that you buy each ingredient in a different store so the cashiers can’t reconstruct the recipe”

“It’s not the cashiers, it’s the bag boys “please let us help you to your car” i know what you are up to comunistas” his abuelita explains.

“Alright, papito abre tu boca” Schneider says as he passes Alex a bowl of ropa vieja. He doesn’t need to be asked twice, he is not made of stone. 

He tries it. It’s good, pretty damn good, he is already nodding, he passes it to Tyler so he can try it as well. 

“Would you like to do the honors?” Alex asks him.

“You are the expert so you go” Tyler says as he starts to take off the apron “but for the record this is a ten out of ten for me”

His family stares at him expectantly, Schneider is specially focused on him, Alex prepares his speech with his presentator voice “Provocative flavor profile. Good ratio of ropa to vieja.” he does a moment of silence for the sake of suspense “Welcome to the family”

He takes the bowl and puts it closer to him, he is going to finish eating it later.

“Ah,good job, mijo” his abuelita says as she pulls Schneider closer to her.

“Oh my god mami, you are being so ridiculous” his mami says laughing in disbelief. 

“Huh?” his abuelita says confused.

“I say no to you once, and you adopted a 45 year old” she says frustrated and Alex takes advantage of the confusion so that before his mom tells him that they have to do the project in the living room so they can work in his room Alex keeps one hand on the bowl of ropa vieja and uses the other one so that he can hold Tyler’s hand and they slowly start to leave the room.

“Don’t talk to mami like that” Scheneider says, they are almost in the hallway but then they notice that Tyler grabs his backpack from the couch. 

“Okay. Bye, crazy people” his mom says as she leaves the house. 

Schneider sighs “Sometimes i can’t believe we are related”.

They are both distracted so Tyler takes his backpack and they makes a run for it, his abuelita doesn’t notice but Schneider does, he doesn’t say anything but he makes some signs with his hands that basically mean “I’m keeping my eyes on you” and Tyler looks back at him more amused than anything. 

“Well, this is my room” he opens the door and as soon as the words leave his mouth he feels incredibly stupid.

But Tyler doesn’t make him feel like he is, he doesn’t point out that he has been there numerous times, that he had sleepovers at his place,that one time his mami let him in while Alex was in the shower and he just walked in, sat on the bed and ate one sandwich that Alex hadn’t finished. 

He just smiles fondly at him, he is obviously comfortable by the way he sits on his bed and takes off his shoes, he grabs his hands and asks “are you okay?” 

“Yeah, just a little nervous” he said before sitting down next to him.

“nervous?” Tyler echoed shocked “why it’s just me?”

“Yeah, it’s you” he says smiling his fingers trailing across his cheek and he hopes that Tyler understands that what he means is that yeah, it’s him but not “just” him, there is not such thing as “just” when it comes to Tyler, there is a lot more than that and he just doesn’t have the right words right now but he hopes these ones work.

“that could not have been any smoother” Tyler responds before putting his hands on his shoulders and pulling him closer and kissing him, he is sure that it was supposed to be a light kiss like the one that they give each other outside of school but the thing is that they are in Alex’s room and there is this certain urgency present now that they don’t have an audience.

They were so involved with each other that they didn't hear the front door open but did when it close. Alex pulled back quickly and Tyler jumped away as if the other one was on fire. 

“Your mom called to remind you to keep the door open” Schneider said opening the door again “that if you are going to be in your room, i have to check on you every fifteen minutes, she says that i can give you three chances and if i notice that you are doing anything but homework then i’m going to sent you to work on the living room”

“Okay” Alex says breathlessly,trying to recover from the kiss.

“Okay?” Schneider said pointing to Tyler who nodded quickly “Okay, see you in fifteen minutes”.

Alex waits until Schneider leaves to turn to Tyler and whisper “so what i’m hearing is that we have fifteen minutes”

Tyler looks back at him and he can see him considering it, even leaning in a little but then he shakes his head “No, we have to do the project”. 

Alex groans but goes to pick up the computer from his desk and Tyler takes out his book and notebook. 

“I think we can finish it quickly and even have a little of extra time” Tyler said opening the book and taking out a pencil. 

“Really?” Alex says sitting next to him again as he checked for the indications the teacher had left them.

“I don’t know about you but i have a pretty good motivation to end it fast” Tyler says wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously. 

He wants to tell him that he looks ridiculous but what comes out instead is “You are so cute”

“You need to stop” Tyler warns playfully pointing his pencil at him “you are distracting me”

“Fine,” Alex said rolling his eyes “let’s do this,maybe you are right and we’ll finish it soon”

*****

They don’t finish it soon, it feels like time is going so incredibly slow, Schneider reappears here and there to check on them and that they are doing their homework, his abuelita comes in to give them some snacks and drinks which they are grateful for because it gives them an excuse to have a break but they keep working afterwards. 

He doesn’t even know for how long they have been working, he only know that they are going to be done soon, Alex is sitting by his pillows and Tyler is at the end of the bed with the book and notebook both opened in front of him. 

When it’s over, he lets out a sigh of relief but Tyler throws his book to the floor and drops his head on the bed, Alex closes his laptop and grabs Tyler’s ankle “you okay?”

He doesn’t respond, he only mumbles something against the bed that sounds a lot like “I’m tired”. 

“I thought you liked to read” Alex says teasingly, he is expecting Tyler to respond by making fun of him but instead he stood up from the bed.

“That reminds me i got you something” Tyler says as he goes for his backpack and takes out two books. 

“You brought me books?” he says with a lifted eyebrows as Tyler flops next to him. 

“You said you were reading Jane Austen because you were bored but that you didn’t really like it, she is great in my opinion but i get why, she is not your style but this might be” he says and passes him a green book that says percy jackson and the lightning thief. 

“Oh yeah, i think i saw the movie last year when i was bored-”

“This is so much better than the movie, i promise you” he says staring at him with this giant hopeful eyes, he knows that Tyler loves these books, he used to bring them all the time to school, he has the whole series back at home.

“Alright, i’ll give it a go” he says nodding and putting the book on his nightstand “and what’s the other one?”

Tyler sighs before passing the other book, it takes a second before Alex realizes that this is a photo album and- 

Oh my god, he actually brought him the baby pictures, he asked him about. 

“I had forgotten about this” he said holding it close to his chest. 

“I know but one of the things you don’t know about me is that I’m a man of his word, Alvarez” he says softly trying to imitate some sort of cowboy but failing, he moves to the side to look at him in the face “but i wasn’t going to bring them to school tho, i’m not crazy”.

“I’m finding out a lot of new things about you” he says playing with his hair again “like today i found out that apparently you are learning spanish, what started that?”

Tyler looks up to him before moving and putting his head on his lap “You know that CD you gave me?”

“Yeah” he says as he twirled a strand of his hair with his finger.

“Well, i loved it” he replies looking up to him “and i have played it every morning but there were songs in spanish there and i couldn’t get them so i looked up the meaning but google translates like shit so i-”

 

“So you just went and decided to learn a whole new language” he says teasingly, fingers laced on his hair.

“No, a whole new language, i just know the basics” he said as he snuggled closer to him. 

“First the murder documentaries now this,What else are you hiding?”

Tyler snorts before saying “Oh, don’t tell anyone but i have like a giant crush on Alex Alvarez”

“You do?” he asks with fake shock.

“Obviously, you dummy” he says as he holds Alex’s free hand “You were the main reason i never missed a baseball game”

“Really?” he asks but this time he is surprised even if he knew that Tyler liked him before they started dating, that didn’t mean that he had ever seen the signs, that's when he realizes that it wasn't just that Tyler went to every game, he also became an expert on baseball too, he learned and completely understood the game, he would even give Alex advice and it was good advice even better than the ones that the old coach used to give him “You learned so much about baseball”

“Yeah, one day i thought why not? if i’m going to spent a lot of time seeing my friends play a game, i might as well understand it” he laughed like he just remembered the funniest thing ever “you know one time Elena asked me “how do you manage to go to every single one of these games and not get bored?” and it was the perfect chance to do a falsettos reference so i told her “the pitcher is handsome” ,I'm not even kidding, i wasn’t even worried that she would tell you i said that because she didn’t knew your position and i-”

“You hate sports” he says still processing the idea.

“That’s true, i don’t like sports but i like you” he says playfully like this isn’t a big deal and he didn’t just make Alex’s heart grow three sizes.

“i always thought that it was about Cameron”

“He has never really cared about baseball as much as you did, you were the one talking about major leagues and buying your mom a house and dating models-” he explains without letting go of his hand, instead of saying anything Alex pulled him up in hard and fast movement to kiss him deeply, he could feel him grinning against his lips as he wrapped his arms around his neck and Alex tangling his fingers in his hair

When they finally part for air, Alex leans in and kisses his temple before trying to reach across his entire forehead but the kiss lands on Tyler’s furrowed eyebrows, he has this confused expression like he doesn’t get where this even came from.

“Not that i’m complaining but is this about baseball?” he asks looking a little breathless “or about the spanish thing?”

“Yes” he says, Tyler chuckle, an amused look on his features “You also taste like ropa vieja so it’s probably that too and you look so very cute today”

“I-” Tyler starts shaking his head but Alex holds his face into place. 

“And you called me handsome-”

“Oh my god” he says trying to get his face out of Alex’s reach, he could tell that he was starting to blush “I shouldn’t have said anything, you didn’t need that ego boost”

“Why are you blushing?” he asks noticing that he is a little flustered and a little sheepish “You don’t have to be embarrassed, we are dating now, you can tell me i’m handsome”

“You already know that you are handsome and you just like to hear it, you are a-” he said pointing at him and becoming a new shade of red and Alex feels a little smug so tries to get closer to him but Tyler moves every time he tries to grab him by the arms or his hands and Alex’s hands end up just under his armpits and when he tries to pull hims closer, Tyler lets out a cackle immediately for no reason.

“What was that?” he asked amused but letting him go.

“Nothing” Tyler said shaking his head, doing a tight lipped smile but trying to keep a serious expression. 

“Tyler Jonathan Miller, are you ticklish?” he asks, they both stay like that without moving but Alex still has this devilish grin on his face. 

“No,Alejandro Alberto Alvarez Riera Calderon Leyte-” Tyler starts distracted, not noticing how Alex’s hands inching towards him again but when he does, he lets out a "Alex, don’t you-"

And he cackles.

Alex can’t believe that he didn’t knew that about him. 

Ten minutes later, after Tyler proclaiming that he hates him several times and Alex replying time and time again"No you don't", he officially lets him go and the laughter dies down. 

“Ugh, i think you broke my ribs” Tyler complains but he is still smiling. 

“Oh my god, you are so dramatic” he stretched up and kissed him slow and sweet.

Of course, that’s when Tyler’s cell phone rings. 

They both groaned at the same time obviously annoyed. 

Tyler answers his phone and it’s obvious why they are calling him, his sister is there to pick him up, Alex helps him to pick up his stuff and decides to walk him outside where his sister is waiting for him. 

Before they leave the apartment his Abuelita gives Tyler two tupperwares one of sopa de pollo and The other one of ropa vieja, Tyler thanks her before leaving and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. 

When they are officially out of the apartment, he ruffles Tyler’s hair and tells him “Okay now that you are leaving and taking all that's left of the ropa vieja with you, I hope that you don't need any extra confirmation that my abuelita doesn't secretly hate you”

“i never said that she secretly hated me, I said that I was worried that she was going to hate me”

“Even more ridiculous” he says as they got on the elevator “why would she hate you when she has known you for years and already likes you?”

“Because she adores you and I'm probably not what she had in mind when it comes to your significant other, I mean i’m an atheist and i’m not cuban and-” He stops himself abruptly, he takes a second before saying “like I said she is your favorite person and I want her to like me”

“Well mission accomplished” he says ruffling his hair “it looked like you two had fun when you were waiting for me”

“Yeah, turns out that we both don't like cats and like you so we had common ground, OH and i also explained to her what bisexuality is”

“Wait, you came out to my abuelita before i did?” he asked in false offense. 

“I think your abuelita already knew that about me or well she assumed so because she just asked me if i had a boyfriend and i told her that well i’m bi so i could have a boyfriend or a girlfriend but right now i have neither, well that’s a lie but you already know that” Tyler said moving his eyelashes at him “ there was a lot to talk about but i think she got it and when there wasn't anything else to say, Schneider would talk about literally anything” 

“Yeah, it's one of his perks” he says and makes a mental note to hug Schneider later.

“He did one weird analogy of what paella was and how he was going to hurt me if i hurt you but i didn’t really got it” he explained with a confused stare “but it’s okay because that’s never going to happen so it’s fine”.

“Now i want paella” he says because he can’t even imagine Tyler hurting him in any scenario, Tyler’s only direct response is to snort, cup his face and kiss him before they hear the elevator ding.

“I’ll see you on monday, you dummy” he says as he pulls away and walks out of the elevator with his three tupperwares and his backpack, he makes a weird expression like there is something that needs to be said and adds “goodnight handsome”

Alex wants to say something but Tyler turns around and the elevator closes so he just stands there and waits to get to his house, he thinks about texting him something, he doesn’t know what yet but it’s not like he can, this time his mami did took his cellphone for the whole weekend. 

Before he walks inside of his house, he sees a delivery guy who gives him a box for his abuelita, he signs it and maybe right now, it's actually a good moment to talk to his abuelita about everything after all Tyler already told her what bisexuality is. 

He walks into the kitchen looking at the package “Abuelita, the teeth-whitening trays you ordered came”

That’s when she gives him a sign with her hands, he sees his mami and he knows this is a bad moment so he should just turn around and walk away. 

He can tell her tomorrow or the day after that not big deal.

Alex walks into his room and takes the photo album that Tyler left for him, he opens it and it’s honestly just Tyler wearing costumes from age three to seven, there are pictures of him as a zombie, pirate, bunny, different superheroes, one of him as spiderman that Alex is probably going to keep.

This album is different from the ones that he showed him of his parents, that’s when he realizes that the album was probably made after Tyler’s parents were gone.He really shouldn’t be surprised after all he knows they died when he was around three so it’s only logical that they are not in this album.  
But there are pictures with his siblings.

One of Jeremy putting fake blood all over his face for a vampire costume, Tyler dressed as spiderman on Jill’s shoulders and one with Jason holding Tyler’s little hand that is coming out of a dinosaurs costume, that picture does look like it was taken on Halloween. 

When he has checked and memorized the pictures, he puts it on his backpack so he won’t forget forget about it on monday.

That’s when he sits down on his bed again and he is about to take his laptop but then he stares at the Percy Jackson book that feels like it’s staring at him, he takes it and looks at it, he remembers who Tyler would put it on his lap and read it during class and he really love it.

So why not?

He opens the book and starts to read.

*****

On monday, Tyler gapes when he tells him that he finished the book in two days and looks delighted when Alex tells him that he wrote him little messages with posits on the book with jokes or just thoughts he had while reading it, when Alex ask him if he can bring him the next one tomorrow his face lights up so much that it’s unbelievable. 

He reads the series and Tyler re-reads it to see Alex’s little notes, Tyler doesn’t need to tell him what are his favorite parts because he can tell which ones are Tyler’s favorites parts because of the dog-eared pages from too many rereads.

Back at home everything is fine, his mom is studying for her N.P., Elena studies for her S.A.T.S. and his abuelita is praying for them.

He sits next to Elena while she is studying,he is reading the third book percy jackson and the curse of the titans, they are both in comfortable silence when he picks up one of his posits to make a comment about how was Tyler strong enough to read Tyson’s “dead” so many times, when Elena takes his pencil away from him. 

“Pencils Down!” she screams and breaks the pencil. 

“I was writing a note” he asks bewildered.

“I’m in test mode” she looking a little apologetic and embarrassed “I just really need to step it up if i want to get into Yale”

“Can you get early admission, like,now?” he asks before picking up what was left of his pencil. 

“Hello,everybody. I really gotta pee” his mom says as she runs towards the bathroom “My therapy session was great. Everything is great”

She gets inside of the bathroom and closes the door. 

“She seem a little weird to you?” she asks him.

“She probably got food poisoning again” he said with a shrug before opening his book and starting to read again “You know if you really want to get into Yale, i can photoshop your face in some athlete’s body” 

He looks up from his book after Elena doesn’t respond to his joke and he is expecting to see her looking down at her own book but instead she is hyperventilating. 

“Elena, are you okay?” he asks, not sure of what to do yet and he is starting to panic “Elena?”

“What’s going in on?” his mom asks coming out of the bathroom. Thank god, she is here. 

“I don’t know” he answers and steps away from them as his mami sits next to Elena.

He watches how she calms her down, how she asks her to breath, holds her arms and then her hands, telling her again and again that she is home and that she is safe, he sees how Elena breaths deeply looking at his mom, she looks helpless, Alex has never seen her like this before. 

Then his mami pulls out her phone showing her pictures of babies and dogs, Elena calms down slowly and Alex feels like a weight has been lifted off him when she starts chuckling. 

After she calms down and talks about how stressed she is and how this has happened a couple of times before, Alex still doesn’t know what to do or what to say, then his mami sits next to Elena and tells her that she gets them too.

“Really?” he asks sitting next to the two of them, his mami takes a deep breath and puts her hand on his and Elena’s. 

“You both know what anxiety and depression are, right?” she asks and they both nod “Well i have that and i didn’t want to tell you because i don’t want to freak you guys out”.

Alex doesn’t know what to say again but there are two questions that he has in mind that made it out of his mouth “are you okay? are you not happy?”

“Oh, honey, this has nothing to do with unhappiness” she explains to him squeezing his hand “it’s a chemical imbalance and it runs in our family, there is nothing to be ashamed of even though i’m ashamed of it but that’s something i’m trying to end with me because i’m fine now” she tells this part directly to Elena “and you are going to be fine too” Elena nods back at her slowly.  
“Wait. Is this why you freak out at me all the time?” he asks her trying to lighten the mood. 

“No, that’s me being legit mad at you because you are a punk” she says affectionately enough. 

“Fair” he agrees. 

“I know this is going to sound really weird but i’m actually happy to hear this because i thought that i was just going crazy” Elena says and he can feel the relief in her voice. 

“I’m sorry, i didn’t tell you sooner” 

“Well, i haven’t feel anything like that” 

“Good. that’s so good, but if you ever do we are here for you” His mami tells him and then turns to Elena one more time “and if you need to see someone,we’ll do that”

 

“Okay. thanks” Elena says looking a little nervous and grateful at the same time. 

“And in the meantime, you could both meditate with me” she says holding both of their hands “it always keeps me grounded”. 

“Ohhh, happy you are both okay” he says carefully taking his hand away and standing up “but i’m gonna do the thing that grounds me, looking in the mirror”.

He takes the book and goes to his room, however he does take his laptop and googles “how to help someone who has anxiety attacks”.

Alex knows he saw his mami calm Elena but a little bit more of information never hurt anyone. 

*****

The weekend comes along and there isn’t homework or Tyler to save him from his mom’s gigantic list of chores but at least he gets to hang out with his abuelita, that’s something at least.

“A sweet slice of orange for my sweet papito” his abuelita says as she feeds a slice of orange and then wipes his mouth. 

“Really, Mami?” his mom says from where she is sitting at the table “if you always do everything for him, he’ll never be able to do anything for himself”

 

“I’m fine with that” they both say at the same time and his mami stands up from the table exasperated.

“Come on, Lupita, life has been hard for papito since he has been imprisoned”

“grounded” his mami corrects her. 

All Alex wants to say to that is Potato, Potato.

“Imprisoned in this house” his abuelita says and he nods along to her words “and all because he wanted to spend some time with some girl named Mary Jane”

Alex does feel guilty because he hasn’t tell his abuelita the truth about why he is grounded yet, his mom gives him one amused look that says “are you freaking kidding me?” so he quickly turns around to his abuelita and tells her “No, it’s fine, Abuelita. I need to learn my lesson”. 

“How you doing with that list of chores i gave you?” his mami ask him. 

“I’m almost done with it” his abuelita answers for him as she gives him another slice of orange. 

Schneider’s dad is coming to visit and honestly it feels like the person who is coming is the queen of england, he meets him for a few seconds and all he gets out of the experience is that he is honestly happy that he is not going to spent time with him and he is going to do the laundry with his abuelita instead, he is actually excited about it and after that he can finally start percy jackson and the last olympian- 

God, What happened to him? 

They walked to the laundry room and his abuelita looks shocked by the new laundry room, she doesn’t look starstruck by it, she turns his nose up at it and says “everything looks so different”

“Yeah, they replaced the old machines that shook so hard they moved across the room” 

“Pero that’s how i knew that spin cycle was over” his abuelita explains and he nods in agreement “they came up and smacked me in the nalgas” He laughs and his abuelita pats him in the shoulder, she giggles as she adds “it reminded me of your abuelo”

Alex shakes his head and laughs as he starts to go through the clothes that they are going to wash and hears the dryer play a tune, his abuelita looks confused so he starts to tell her how the new dryer works “Schneider programmed them to play different songs when you are done”

“Don’t quit your day job dryer” she yells back at the machine after she goes towards a washing machine and puts all the clothes inside “Okay, and where do i put the quarters?”

“You pay with your phone” he says and his abuelita throws her phone on the dryer.  
“So dumb” his abuelita says as she turns around, he chuckles and goes to pick up the phone from the washer. 

“You’ll get used to it, abuelita” he says putting the phone a side and closing the washing machine “Remember when you thought rays from the microwave would give Elena chest hair?”

“We shall see” his abuelita says checking the insides of the clothes pockets and takes out a twenty dollar bill “Ay, your mother never empties her pockets” Alex tries to take it but she quickly shoves it inside of her shirt. 

Alex turns to look away for a second when his Abuelita asks “Y que es esto?”

There are moments in which Alex has felt like the earth should stop so he could have more time to figure out what to do, the moment in which the moment in which his abuelita finds his vape pen on his mom’s pocket is one of those moments. 

“Looks like a pen and some catnip” he says and prays to god that excuse works. 

“Dios mio!” she gasps in shock “it is las drogas”

“No! Why do you think that’s drug stuff?” he said pointing at the vape pen “I think someone has been writing letters to a cat”

“No.No,no,no, it is the vape, i have seen it many times on caso cerrado” she gasps and Ale can feel his heart stop “Alex! Your mami is addicted to the weeds”

He let his brow wrinkles in confusion, he can’t believe she got to that conclusion but he sees a chance so he takes it. 

“OH! YES!” he says as eyes open wide, he even lets out a fake gasp and pretends to sob looking at the sky “MAMI!”

When his abuelita comforts him, he is so sure that there is an special place in hell waiting for him. 

*****

Fifteen minutes have passed by, his abuelita has been angrily pacing the whole laundry room, talking about how disappointed she is on his mami and Alex has been quiet through most of it, he has been thinking about what he is going to said to avoid his abuelita confronting his mami for HIS weed. 

“I cannot believe Lupe is on that wacky weed” she says, she sounds furious and he is even more terrified now “Get me a fried egg! So i can show her how brain looks like on drugs! I’m never going to stop yelling at her!”

He is fucked. He is just fucked. 

Or…. she could say nothing.

After all that’s Alex’s worst case scenario.

“Or you can say nothing at all!” he offers, his abuelita sighs desperately “Quiet mad, that’s the worst kind of mad”. 

He is not lying, he actually considers it the worst kind of angry, when someone says nothing but you know that they are mad at you, it means that you have no chance of talking to them and fixing things. It scares the crap out of him and makes him feel like he doesn’t know what else to do. 

“Si,a silent cuban is the deadliest cuban” his abuelita agrees with a vengeful tone “But first!! i yell! And i give her such a pow pow!” she karate shopping the air and that’s when he knows he has to say something before she storms towards the exit. 

“Abuelita! It’s mine!” he yells before he chickens out, he sees his abuelita walks back inside of the laundry room again. 

“What? Huh?” she asks confused. 

“It’s mine weed” he says feeling himself tense and he can see her expression turn into disappointment “Mom found it in my room and must have left it on her left pocket” 

“Is this why you have been grounded?” she asks him, she sounds angry but her tone is still unreadable. 

“yeah” he says nervous and scared “Mami has been hiding it from you because I asked her to” He feels like he is about to start crying but he tries really hard not to, his hands are about to start shaking and he is trying to keep himself calm and finish what he has to say “i just didn’t want to let you down” she nods like she is putting two and two together “I’m so sorry, abuelita”

He tries to get to her but she walks away from him, she doesn’t say anything, she just turns away and folds her shirt, she is quiet, she doesn’t respond or talk to him.  
“Abuelita, please say something” he begs but she keeps on folding the laundry without looking at him.

It takes a second for him to realize what she is doing.

She is quiet mad. 

He sighs and stands where he is in silence and he has never hated himself more. 

*****

He doesn’t know how much time has passed by but they are still in similar positions, his abuelita is still facing away from him and he is standing there panicking, begging her to say something, to tell him anything.

Yell at him if she wants to, give him a pow pow or anything.

“Abuelita, please say something!” he implores “Anything!” 

He just wants her to stop looking away from him and there is only one way to do that, he moves in front of her but when he does that, she starts looking down. 

“Tell me one of your stories, here i’ll even get you started” he says trying to imitate her looking away “Havana 1952”

Nothing, she says nothing. 

“How can i make this better?” he asks her even if he knows that she is not going to respond “i’ll do anything, i’ll clean the house everyday, i’ll let you pick out all my clothes, i’ll even shave my head” 

“Ay no” his abuelita says standing looking at him. Finally. 

“Gracias a Dios” he says feeling so incredibly grateful. 

“Papito, you should have known better” she says strongly, he can see that there are tears in her eyes and he was wrong, it is possible to hate himself more “i’m very disappointed in you”

“I’m really sorry Abuelita” he can see her nod, showing him that she believes him “it was a mistake and i’ll never do it again”. 

She holds out her arms and he has never feeled himself even more relieved, he walks towards her and hugs her and he feels like everything is back to-

“i did it too” she tells him. 

He slowly pulls back “What?” 

“The marijuana” she says bluntly. Ha, BLUNTly “I, too, rode the green dragon”.

“Oh!” he said nodding “is that why you were staring at the dryer?”

“No, i accidentally ate one of Leslie’s pot lozenges and i became very...como se dice?” she says making hands gestures “...lit”

“Wait” he says still processing “you got high?”

“I got real high, baby and it was stupid and we must promise each other that we will never, ever, ever, ever toss the devil’s salad again”. 

And he thought that he was bad at slang.

“We need to work on your slang, Abuelita, but okay” he says and they share a smile and turn around that’s when he decides that this is the right time to tell her because if you come clean about drugs, you might as well come out while you are at it.

“Abuelita, there is something else i have to tell you,i have been dating Tyler-” he says as they go back to folding the laundry that’s when he hears sniffs, he turns to look at her and notices that his abuelita is pulling out a tissue and starts crying so he walks towards her and holds her, he wasn’t sure what to say right away because he is not sure if she is crying for what he just said or because of the pot. 

“Don’t cry,i said i’ll never do it again” He says because he really hopes it’s the pot “or is this about-” 

“No, no, it’s not that, this is the first time you have ever kept a secrets from me and we don’t do that” she wipes away her tears and pointing at the two of them, Alex feels like his heart breaking when she says that but he still laughs a second later when she says “We keep secrets from everyone else, you know how we hide the good cookies in the oatmeal tin? And how you are the only person who knows i killed Elena’s hermit crab with Fabuloso”

“I will take that to my grave” he assures as she keeps sniffing and cleaning her face. 

“Ay” she says sweetly “thank you”

She sighs and Alex apologizes again “it’s just that if i told you about Tyler it would make the lie about Mary Jane fall apart, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to keep things from you...i just didn’t want you to hate me”

“Ay papito, i could never.you are mi vida” she says caressing his face and then putting her hands on his shoulders like if she was looking at him after a long time and was examining every little detail on his face “but you are growing up and it makes me a little sad and soon you will not want to spent time with me”

“Yes i will” he reassures her smiling at her. 

“Yeah?” she says looking up to him, eyes shining but a sad smile on her face. 

“I love hanging out with you” he says trying to make it as clear as possible “Especially now that i know that we can get stoned together” 

She gives him a quick slap on his shoulder and he laughs, maybe now they might actually go back to folding and doing laundry.

“So now about this muchacho Tyler” she says cheekily “I suspected there was something else before”

“Yeah i could tell” he tells her “Your whole comment about how he should get a nice cuban boy was not subtle like at all-” 

“No, before that” she says squinting her eyes like she is looking back at a memory

“Remember when you went out and ask me to spray you with violetas” she doesn’t need to say anything else, he remembers already “and you only do that when you want to impress someone or you have a date and when i asked your mami, she said you went out with him”

Alex smiles fondly at the memory, god, back then when he was a free man and could go to the movies “what else gave it away?”

“A lot of stuff but i just thought you just had a crush and honestly i was a little disappointed” she says and Alex’s face falls but quickly lights up again when she says “i thought you were trying to woo him and failing terribly, i was like “what has happened to my papito?” and then i thought that well men are different from women so maeby you needed some of my help but now that i know you are dating him i realize that you don’t”

“Ay Abuelita i have wanted to talk to you about this for so SO long, you have no idea” he admits as he keeps folding but stops to look at her in the eyes when he continues “but i don’t need help wooing Tyler, i can do that just fine on my own, actually when you think about it i made the first move-well technically Finn did but-”

“What?” she asks confused.

“It’s a really long story”

“We got time” his abuelita says and Alex doesn’t have to be told twice before he starts telling her everything.

From the basics of their relationship to little details that he has never told anyone else like how he doesn’t think that he has ever felt this way about anyone else before, that everything with Tyler is both new and familiar at the same time, how safe he feels with him, that when he came to visit him during San Valentine’s day he was pretty sure his heart was going to blow up, that at the beginning he thought that the idea of liking Tyler was legitimately ridiculous but now the only thing that it’s ridiculous is how he didn’t notice before. 

“I hated every single boy he liked, Abuelita” he admits out loud feeling embarrassed and she laughs “every single one, poor george salazar included, the guy is 33, famous and doesn’t even know Tyler exist and yet..”

“Your abuelo was like that too” she responds looking both amused and nostalgic “so where is your boy tonight?” 

“he is probably came back from the beach a couple of hours ago” he says checking the watch “why?”

“Invite him to eat dinner with us”

“Abuelita, i can’t i’m grounded”

“He would be my guest, not yours, i’ll explain it to your mami, besides i need to have a serious talk with this boy”

“Schneider already gave him the shovel talk-”

“I love Schneider but he has the hands of geisha and he is as threatening as a chiguagua” she says seriously but Alex can’t help the laughter that escapes him “so call him”

“Alright” he says but before taking out his phone, he notices that he forgot explaining something “i should also let you know that by the way i’m bi”

“Of course you are papito” she says caressing his face again with so much love and understanding that it makes him wish that he had told her sooner “with a face like yours? It would be a crime to deny it to any gender”

He puts his arms around her and pulls her in for another hug because of course his abuelita would react like that.

*****

When Tyler arrives an hour later, Alex can hear his mami arguing with his abuelita, he doesn’t know about what exactly but he just hears the words “mami, you are being ridiculous” a lot so he doesn’t get involved.

He opens the door and kisses Tyler in the mouth and he can feel him shaking,he is nervous even if Alex reassure him time and time again that everything is fine. 

Still Tyler holds his hands and squeezes it like he is doing it for the last time. 

His abuelita sits the whole family down and serves them ropa vieja, they all start eating and it feels like a normal family dinner except that Tyler is there holding Alex’s hand so hard that he is sure that he is going to have to get X-RAYS tomorrow. 

At one point Tyler and Elena start arguing about cats and Alex is just enjoying his ropa vieja and listening to their conversation, but that’s when Tyler picks up a napkin and wipes Alex’s mouth and chin.

Tyler doesn’t seems to be thinking about what he just did but Alex is so sure that Elena is going to make fun of him for that later, he can feel it in his bones. 

“It’s just my personal preference-” Tyler continues ranting until his abuelita stands up from her chair goes to him and pulls him into a hug. 

Even Alex feels a little confused but he can see his mami shaking her head. 

So this way the talk his abuelita was talking about.

“welcome to the family, mijo” His abuelita tells Tyler and Alex can sees his puzzled and relieved expression and he just wishes that he would have his phone so he could take a picture. 

The rest of the dinner, his abuelita spends it telling Tyler how cute he was in a similar way that she does with him, Alex wanted to stop her because he was worried that she might make Tyler feel awkward or uncomfortable but to his surprise, Tyler just revelled in it and loved it.

He didn’t let go off his hand for the rest of the night either so it was a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found this post by tumblr user @vampirevaporwave "Alex Alvarez should be bi because you know he would say something like ‘a pretty face like this? It would be a crime to deny it to any gender’ and you know, i think we deserve it" and thought that sounds like something Lydia would say.


	6. Viejo mi querido Viejo part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a normal morning until mami sits with them and announces before he eats his toast “Your papi called me this morning and he is coming to visit us with his girlfriend”
> 
> He doesn’t listen, he just stays there like that with the toast in his hand, he doesn’t know what part freaks him out the most the “your papi is coming to visit us” or “with his girlfriend”. 
> 
> His papi has a girlfriend. 
> 
> Well that’s a change.

When his Mami let Tyler come for dinner, Alex thought that maybe his mom was finally going to lift up his punishment but turns out that he was wrong, he is still grounded which just sucks SO much because now he has to go with his mom to grocery shopping and he doesn’t even have his phone to keep him busy. 

At least it’s almost over, they are already in the line, he turns his gaze away and stares back at a flower shop, usually he wouldn’t look twice but Tyler’s play is coming in a couple of weeks, he could get him something. 

He should get him something. 

But flowers??? that’s just-

“Are you okay?” his mami asks with a funny look on her face like she already knows what he was thinking about.

“Oh yeah, i’m thinking that maybe i should get Tyler something for his play” Alex shrugged awkwardly.

“you can always get him flowers” he just shakes his head in response “is he allergic to flowers or something?”

“Tyler is not allergic to anything really and he never gets sick” 

“Are you humblebragging about your boyfriend’s immune system?” his mami asks with a puzzled expression.

“of course,i’m going to brag about him,he can sing, act and has a great immune system,he is triple threat,” he said, his mami shakes her head and laughs. 

“so why don’t you get him flowers?” 

“I don’t even know if he likes flowers besides i have a star wars toy that Schneider gave me so i can totally give him that, it’s unopened and vintage so i know for a fact that he is going to like it but i’m thinking that maybe that’s more of a birthday or anniversary thing and I know that i should probably get him flowers because that's a safe choice but i don’t know, it’s probably dumb and lame”

“Yeah, getting your boyfriend flowers is totally lame and dumb” his mom says sarcastically, Alex had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. 

“I’m not saying that giving him flowers would be lame and dumb, i’m saying that he might think that it’s lame and dumb” 

“Are we talking about the same Tyler?” his mom asked faking confusion squinting her eyes “do you think that he could ever think that anything you do is dumb or lame?”

He wants to argue with her, just because Alex could probably give him anything and Tyler would love it no matter what doesn't mean that he should just get him anything, he wants Tyler to feel special he wants him to feel like Alex feels like every time he catches Tyler looking at him. 

But what comes out of his mouth is “i could get him some violets”

“That would be nice” his mami said before thanking the cashier and picking up the bags “did you know that violets used to be a symbol of lesbian love?”

“What?”

 

“Yeah, the poet Sappho who wrote poems about love and women, talked a lot about violets and then lesbians in the mid-20th century would give violets to women they liked” his mom continues as he helps her with the bags towards their car.

“Wow, i was only going to give him violets because i asked abuelita to spray me with violetas for our first date but i don’t even know if he remembers that” he said as he opened the trunk and they put the bags inside. 

“Aww, well that’s sweet” his mami said fondly at him, he just shrugged again “but if you want more options you can give him green carnations, i don’t remember why exactly but they had something to do with Oscar Wilde”

“How do you know all of that?” he asked smiling as he lifted eyebrow questioningly. 

“Well, back when Elena came out, i did a little digging on autostraddle, the lesbian lifestyle and pop-culture website” his mami says and he nods even if he has never heard of autostraddle “and well now i have a ton of information about monocles in lesbian fashion, lady gaga, eleanor roosevelt and well other stuff” 

“That’s cool” he says as they get inside of the car and puts on his seatbelt before his mami says anything “Did you google anything when i came out?” 

“No, it was different when you came out” his mami responded ”I was surprised but Ramona says that the parents are always the last ones to know”

“if it helps I was surprised too, I'm pretty sure that Elena knew before I did but she does think that everyone is gay so that gives her an unfair advantage”

“Yeah, i guess that’s true” she said as they laughed.

“Abuelita says that she suspected that i liked him before i said anything” 

“Oh my god! where did she got that from?” his mom said with fake shock “you only call and text that boy every second of every day how could she know that you-”

“Fine!” he admits and his mom keeps laughing “so i was a little obvious! apparently more than Elena because Abuelita-”

“Oh please, Your abuelita knew about Elena before Elena knew about Elena” 

“No way!”

“She did!” his mami continued “but she thought she was dating Carmen so she was wrong about that”

“Finn used to say that i had a crush on Carmen” Alex said shaking his head “but i actually had a crush on was Josh”

 

“WHAT?!” she screamed shocked loud enough that the people passing by in other cars probably heard it.

“Yeah” he snorted “I remember telling Hugo how incredible i thought his face was and i honestly thought that it was just an objective fact but apparently straight guys don’t talk for ten minutes about Josh Flore’s jawline and how he looks like a greek god, who knew?”

 

“I remember that i used to talk the same way about Joe Camarda’s brown eyes when i was your age” 

“You know i have always liked brown eyes, i think that they are seriously under appreciated”

“I know right?” his mami said as she continued driving “ I know that people like green or blue eyes but I really like brown eyes” 

“I love Tyler’s dark brown eyes, they are just so expressive and so warm, i can’t even sit next to him in class because otherwise i get distracted”

“You get distracted by his eyes?” his mami says in disbelief. 

“And his eyelashes” he admits mildly embarrassed.

“Eyelashes?” 

“His long Eyelashes” he clarifies even if that probably doesn’t make a difference. 

“I get it” his mami surprisingly agrees “one time i was staring at Carlos Piñero’s eyelashes and i accidentally dropped my soda on my best friend’s lap”

“Dios mio, if i did anything like that Hugo would have killed me without a second thought” he can honestly picture Hugo chasing him around the party to murder him like if it was some sort of horror movie. 

“Oh, Kathy tried but i was faster, even back then i was a badass”

He snickers for a second when he realizes that he has been talking to his mom about boys for a couple of minutes and what he finds even more surprising is that he doesn’t feel uncomfortable or weird about it. 

 

“Did you ever thought that it would be like this?” he asks his mami who turns to look at him “that you would be talking about boys with your son?”

“To be honest i always thought that Elena would be the one i would bond over boys with” she says with kind and loving grin on her face as she holds his hand “but this is a nice a surprise”

 

“Yeah, it is” he says in agreement squeezing her hand “Maybe when we get home, you can-”

“Nope, you are still grounded”

Dammit.

*****

“Hey how were your lessons with Doctor.B?” he asks Elena when he sees her walk through the door. 

“Great, we added new songs to his sapphic folk Playlist and I think that I'm ready to crush this test” she said sounding excited “hey can you give me a glass of orange juice?”

He serves himself what's left of the bottle and chugs it down on one go before turning to her and saying “sorry, there is nothing left”

“you know if I was you I would be nicer to me, otherwise who is going to drive for two years before you get your license”

“Ha! I'm not going to need you for that long” he said as he continue laughing “Tyler already knows how to drive so as soon as he is sixteen, he is going to get his provisional license ”

“Good for you, you got yourself a gay who can drive” 

“Bi” he corrects her as he walks towards his room. 

He is expecting her to go to her room to text Syd or video chat with Carmen but she follows him inside of his room instead, she has this slightly annoyed expression on her face. 

“Are you okay?” he asked with a lifted eyebrow thinking that maybe he had offended her somehow and he just hadn't noticed. 

“Dad called me today”

He sighs before she even starts. 

There used to be a point in his life in which he would have been thrilled to hear that his papi called but now hearing those words were just a source of stress, he has been ignoring his calls for a few weeks now and hoping that he just hadn’t notice.

“what did he do?” 

“He is mad that Doctor Berkowitz is teaching me how to drive” she says scoffing

Por el amor de dios

“Seriously?” he asked frustrated,why did his dad did these things?

“Yeah, he started to talk about how I should have waited until he came back to taught me,he said that I. SHOULD. HAVE. WAITED. can you believe that?” she said full of indignation “he can stop talking to me for months and not even apologize but i should wait”

“He is being a dick” he agrees because he knows that Elena wants to vent and because he doesn’t know how to defend his father anymore,in a way he can understand why his papi said that because he thought that maybe teaching Elena how to drive might be his chance to make things right with her but sometimes Alex feels like his papi doesn’t even know her because if he did then he should know that he needs to apologize with his words first and then with his actions so that he can slowly win her trust back, he can’t just expect to have it back or just sulk until he can get it back, he has to work for it. 

He is so tired of explaining this to him, just so tired, that’s part of why he has been avoiding him, the other half of him is just procrastinating coming out to him. 

“It’s just so stupid” she said as she sat next to him “it’s like the thing with Schneider all over”

“He is acting like if we are going to order a new dad online” he said which did get a laugh out of Elena, even if there was a giant undertone of it’s not like we can replace him . 

“Yeah, he is an idiot” she said casually even if there was a giant undertone of I miss him but he can see her shake the feeling as she asks him “I know you are grounded but do you want to watch santa clarita diet? I won’t tell mom” 

“Yeah” he replied as he stood up to go to Elena’s room “Can you believe it got cancelled?” 

“Of course, Netflix cancels all the good show, remember sense8?”

“I’m still mad about the get down” 

“Don’t get me started,how did that show got cancelled but 13 reasons why keeps on getting renewed? I have no idea, like every single good show with representation gets cut off and then they act like they care about our stories without-”

“Hey do you want to continue shitting on Netflix in the kitchen? i want to make popcorn” 

“I do get hungry when i’m angry” 

They go to kitchen and he takes the bag of popcorn from the top shelf and passes it to Elena as she prepares the microwave and puts them in, he gets a bowl and takes two sodas out of the fridge as they wait. When he turns around Elena has this sad expression on her face again and you don’t have to be genius to know what she is thinking about. 

“hey Alex, you know how we were talking about dad”

“Yeah” he replied furrowing his eyebrows,she looks like she is debating if she should say what she wants to say, Alex stays quiet to give her time to rearrange her ideas. 

“You know that you don’t have to come out to dad if you are not ready” she said putting her hands on top of his shoulders “You should only come out if you want to and never because you feel like you have to”.

He nods awkwardly, in theory he knows that he doesn’t have to come out to his dad, he has read all of the articles about how not coming out is by no means the same thing as lying and that you should only come out when you feel comfortable and that you shouldn’t come out when you are angry and he gets it, he does.

But it bothers him that he can’t come out to his dad, it bothers him that he can’t trust him now,that the last time he even thought about coming out to him, he started to cry immediately, you know what that means? it means that the idea of coming out to the nuns of his school looked easier than coming out to his dad, hell, coming out to anyone looks easier than coming out to his dad, just last weekend he came out to his abuelita’s friends at church (they went that sunday so that they wouldn’t become one of those people that only go on christmas and easter) at the end of mass, his abuelita started talking with all of her friends outside like she usually does,that's when one of them Olguita talked about how she could set him up with her granddaughter and he simply said She sounds lovely but i have boyfriend all of his abuelita’s friends looked at her shocked like they had a thousands of questions about that but his abuelita stops them before they even started by saying “su nombre es Tyler, es un muy buen muchacho y ya”.

He should that simple, he should just be able to look at his father in the eye and tell him that he is in love with Tyler **y ya**.

And if he dares to say that Alex is confused, he should just tell him that he is not, that he is the furthest thing from confused, that Tyler makes him understand what his abuelita talked about when she says that her and abuelito were like two hearts in the desserts **y ya**.

What’s the worse that can happen?

(Alex’s personal worst case scenario is his dad leaving and ignoring them for months just like when Elena came out). 

“Yeah, i know, don’t worry about it” he repeats and he wants to change topic, because he doesn’t need to start agonizing over this again, he can worry about it later when his father visit or something like that, “Hey, have you watched the Franco Escamilla’s special?”

“No, why? is it good?” she ask letting go of him with a smile.

“Hugo watched it the other day with Samuel and Isaac, i’m thinking that once i’m no longer grounded and Tyler said that when his spanish gets better,we should totally watch it, you and syd should join us”

 

“Yeah, i’d like that” she replied quickly as she takes one of the sodas from his hand.

He takes out the popcorn from the microwave and puts it on the bowl, they go to Elena’s bedroom as they sit comfortably on the bed and when the instrumental theme starts playing they hum along and share a smile. 

(Alex relaxes because even if his worse case scenario, he is not going to be alone, Elena will be there with netflix and comfort popcorn). 

(He just hopes that it doesn’t come to that).

*****

It’s supposed to be a normal morning, his abuelita just make them breakfast, Schneider came to join them, he ruffled his hair and tried to steal Elena’s eggs even if he has no intention of eating it, he just wants to annoy her. 

It’s a normal morning until mami sits with them and announces before he eats his toast “Your papi called me this morning and he is coming to visit us with his girlfriend”

He doesn’t listen, he just stays there like that with the toast in his hand, he doesn’t know what part freaks him out the most the “your papi is coming to visit us” or “with his girlfriend”. 

His papi has a girlfriend. 

Well that’s a change.

There was a point in his life in which Alex didn’t used to care or worry about change, it was just a constant thing that happened in his life, sometimes he liked it (getting his braces off, a new coach for their baseball team and making new friends at school) sometimes he didn't (learning how to shave and cutting his face,Mr. White becoming their history teacher and people that he considered friends making fun of him).

Back then Alex thought that most changes weren't irreversible, that if something changes it could always go back, that was his exact mindset when his Mami fell asleep the night of Elena's quinces, he stared at the mess in front of him and thought “i can get this to look the exact way it did before like it's nothing”.

And he did it, he remembers how proud of himself he was, it didn't matter that he hadn't been able to sleep and was running on six cups of coffee, the smile on his mami’s face made everything worth it and then Elena walked in and they jumped straight into the choreography until it was time for the father and daughter dance.

At the beginning Alex thought that his dad had just gone to the bathroom and was about to go looking for him but then he saw Schneider running inside of the room and shaking his head and he realized what had actually happened.

His papi left.

There were so many emotions going on inside of him sadness, anger, pain, disappointment and last but not least the one that surprised him the most: shame.

He was ashamed of his father, his dad had ran away like a little kid, he left Elena, his daughter, his sister in the middle of the dance floor in front of all of their close family and friends.

He leff.

After everything he just left, it didn’t matter to him that his mami had worked her ass off for that party, that Alex was up all night working on this party, that Abuelita and Doctor B were also up all night doing that damn suit, that their whole family came just for this party and he sure as hell didn’t care that this was more than just a party, that this was Elena’s special day and he left.

That’s was his exact train of thought when his papi didn’t show up a never ending line of “He left” in repeat going in his head, it was non stop until his mami walked up to the stage and dance with Elena and that line became background noise as he awkwardly walked next to them and leaned against Elena’s shoulder and held her hand, he saw her teary eyed smile as Abuelita leaned next to him joining their dance moving side to side, he remembers smiling when he saw Schneider walking next to them and putting his arm next to his mami and Elena, if he is being honest he doesn’t know when Doctor B got there but he was glad that he was there just so that Elena could tell that they were there for her and that she wasn’t alone, that they got her.

He held Elena as she slowly put on a brave face and in between the dancing, the family, her friends and the cake she started to genuinely smile and Alex’s anger died down because he couldn’t be more tired, the coffees had worn off and he wanted to sleep.

They forgot about their papi that night.

Here is the thing that if his papi had came back at one point during that night or maybe called a couple of days later or at least during the months that followed, maybe just MAYBE things had come back to the way they were but he hadn’t.

He didn’t called, he didn’t skype, he didn’t send a message to Elena apologizing for what he had done.

He didn’t called Alex either but he lied his mami and told her that he did so that she wouldn’t worry about him too, he privately admitted to his abuelita and Elena that he hadn’t talked to him since the quinces either, his abuelita looked angry so did Elena but there was this odd sense of relief in her eyes. 

His papi was slowly becoming background noise in their lives and the anger and sadness that came with him were too,worst part of all, Alex missed him, as angry as he was, he still missed him, he was his papi after all.

Alex missed his calls, his laughs and the way that he would talk about how much he had grown but everytime he would even think of him, he would tell himself that he didn’t need him.

There were days when he expected to miss him like when he had a father’s day recital, he remembers going to buy the tickets with his friends, he bought three, one for his mami, for his abuelita and for Schneider but there was a mistake and he ended up with four, he thought that maybe it was was sign that he should offer it to his father, he could come and make things right with Elena. 

Maybe- 

No, you don’t need him, he left, remember that . 

He held onto the anger and went to his mami’s work and gave Doctor Berkowitz the ticket as a thank you for giving him a job, Alex let go of his anger when he saw the way Doctor.B’s eyes light up and said that he would be honored to go with him. 

Alex still remembers Doctor B’s gigantic smile when he saw him perform, he might have been the happiest person to be there that day.

Missing his dad would hit Alex at unexpected times too like when they had just won a very important baseball game and Hugo started to ran towards his dad to hug him hard enough to nearly knock him over like he always does after they win a big game, it’s their thing because his dad taught him how to play baseball and he practices with him in weekends when he is nervous before a big gane, usually Alex wouldn’t care, he would just continue celebrating with the rest of the team, jumping in circles, high fiving each other, hugging and laughing, he would just smile and keep moving but this time it was different, he stared at them for a few seconds and he felt a tightness in his chest as Samuel hugged Hugo back fiercely and he lifted him off his feet,back then they were thirteen and Hugo was still small enough for his dad to swing him around for a minute or two.

You don’t need him, he left, remember that he told himself,staring at them felt like an old wound that was being picked on, like someone just walked next to him and started pulling off huge crispy hard scab that he had completely forgotten about.

That’s when he decided to ran towards his family, the ones that were actually there and were always there at every football game, every recital and every day, he just hugged his mami, saw his abuelita's proud smile, felt Schneider's congratulatory pats in the back and saw Elena’s face that carried both happiness and annoyance at the same time, he let them sing “Dale, papito, dale” and move the cuban flag, he lets himself feel loved without caring if one of his teammates make fun of him later.

The one that hit him the hardest was on a random weekend when Elena and him had nothing better to do after finishing five episodes in a rode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and they decided to have a bet that whoever fell asleep first had to do the other’s chores for a week, they had it in the living room, he could see Elena’s head swaying when they got to season 4, he just had to hold on a little longer. 

That’s when they get to the episode about Will’s dad and he has seen the episode before, he has seen that scene before plenty of times in those try not to cry challenge they do on kids react, he is proud to say that he has never cried during those, he always wins but this time is different, he wants to ask Elena if she wants to skip it but she is not looking at him and her head isn’t swaying anymore, her eyes are glued to the screen every second of the episode. 

You know how Alex said that he never cried during those challenges and the times when he watched the episode before? Well, this time he cries before Will even has his big breakdown, his eyes start watering when Uncle Phil tells Will’s dad that his son is not a coat that he can hang in the closet then pick it up when he is ready to wear it,his life goes on, Will is not supposed to be there for him, he is supposed to be there for him. 

He saw Elena nodding along to the words from the corner of his eye, he tried to just focus on the episode because he is sure if he keeps on looking at Elena, he just covered his mouth and tried not to let out any whimpers, he just lets the tears roll down his cheek, when Will turns toward the front door and shouts “To hell with him!”, he has to held back the sobs, he never thought that he would ever find an scene on a sitcom so heart wrenching.

This time when Will says “I ain't need him then and I don't need him now”, Alex is the one to nod but his hand moves from his mouth and Elena heard him, she flipped her head towards him, her eyes had just started watering but when she saw him, she let out a full blown sob, they were trying to comfort each other but their words didn’t make any sense, he was basically saying “mwaha-waah-gwwahh” and Elena was nodding and replying “waaa-wa”. 

They pull each other into a hug as Will gave his final speech, he could feel Elena nodding to what Will was saying “No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'll be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!”

She let out a muffled cry on his shoulder as Will said “How come he don't want me, man?”

He actually got to say the words out loud this time as Uncle Phil rushed forward to hug Will, and Will broke down sobbing, Alex said as stable as possible “We don’t need him, okay?”

She nodded, he tries not to think about this moment because the memory alone makes him want to cry and he is not sure that his papi gets that he left and just because he can turn the other page like nothing happened, that doesn’t mean that he can.

Elena can’t do it either, he can tell by the way she is looking at her plate.

He wonders if she has her own never ending of You don’t need him, he left, remember that going on in the back of her head every time they talk about their papi.

They finish eating breakfast and his abuelita gives him two kisses on the cheeks, he gives her tight lipped smile as Schneider ruffles his hair, he tries to tell them a couple of jokes but they don’t really land, it’s not his fault, they are just not in the mood. 

His mami tries to cheer them up on the way to school but Elena keeps on looking through the window, moments like this make him regret meeting with his dad before Elena was ready, he should have ignored him. 

In his defense he did ignore it for a week ,he answered the phone for a second before hanging up as soon as he heard his papi’s voice, it was like his heart stopped instantly, there was mixture of feelings going inside of him, he got more messages about how much he missed him, about how he had to see him, that he knew that mami, abuelita and elena hated him so seeing each other was going to be hard but he could sneak out and he didn’t have to tell them. 

He wondered why he thought that his mami, abuelita and elena hate him but Alex didn’t?

That stopped the messages for a few days until he started trying again, he turn off the sound of his phone and his notifications but he still read all of the messages again and again because even if he was mad, he did miss him, he wanted to see him because he was still his papi.

He made a pros and cons list (feeling like a fucking nerd)the cons were 1) he left so he doesn’t deserve to just walk back into their lives, 2) Seeing him would hurt Elena and make Alex a traitor and 3) He is still mad at him, the pros were 1)What are they supposed to do ignore him forever?, 2) he could help his dad make things right with Elena and 3)he can yell at him. 

There was a part of him that wanted to tell Elena, his mami or his abuelita but he told Hugo instead, he was expecting him to discourage him from seeing his dad but to his surprise, Hugo didn’t do that, he just said “If you need to see your dad, i think you should maybe you’ll help him to make things right with Elena or maybe you’ll just yell at him, it might go well or might not but you’ll never know if you don’t see him, i also don’t think that you shouldn’t sneak out but I'll cover for you if that’s what you need, i can even go with you just in case things go south and you can come over to my house to sleepover if things REALLY do go south”. 

He remembers thinking that this was probably what Bucky feel like when Capitan America says that he is with him until the end of the line.

They went to this pizzeria that his papi and him agreed to go, honestly it was a good thing that Hugo was there because the first time meeting his dad was a mess.

His dad acted like nothing had happened, he started asking him about school and baseball like he had done nothing wrong, he remembers just looking at him as he tried to make conversation and order pizza, he didn’t realize what he had done, he didn’t get it.

“Are you just going to act like nothing happened?”

“So i take that as you don’t want hawaiian pizza”

“Are you even sorry?”

“Of course i am-”

“You have a funny way of showing it” 

“It’s not that easy Alex-”

“But it is-”

“NO, LO ES” his dad said loud enough for people from other table to turn to look at them, he tried to keep his voice calm again “It was just easier this way, we both know that your sister doesn’t want to see me right now”

“And whose fault is that?” 

“Look i know what i did was wrong but i was mad, i told your mom to keep this gay between us! and she paraded her in front of my family and friends in a suit! come on she was telling everybody, Alex!”

“Okay first of all, Abuelita worked really hard on that suit and Elena looked great so you bet that we were going to show it to everyone, second is your excuse really that you were embarrassed? You want to know who else was embarrassed that night? ELENA WAS! BECAUSE YOU LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF HER-”

“Alex please lower your voice” he said, the whole restaurant was staring at them now but he didn’t care. 

“YOU LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE” he took a breath and pulled his hand away when his dad tried to hold it because he wasn’t done yet “and you want to know something else? I was embarrassed too because all of my friends were there and they saw when you leave my sister standing by herself in the dance floor and i had to be like yeah that selfish idiot is my dad!”

“Alex-” 

“I don’t even know how to make you understand that what you did was so wrong, i just don’t-”

“I already told you that i know that what i did was wrong”

“No you don’t, you are talking about how hard things were for you and not how hard things were for her, you haven’t even said how you are going to apologize and before you say anything else, if you want things to be okay again then you have to apologize to Elena”

“I’ll think about it” his dad said, he sounded like an angry little boy being scolded. 

“Are you not listening to me? I said that you HAVE TO apologize,i don’t know how and i don’t know how many times and i don’t even know if she is going to forgive you after everything you put her through but you HAVE TO, okay?” 

“I ALREADY SAY THAT I’LL THINK ABOUT IT, OKAY?”

“OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A-” 

“Alex think carefully about what you want to say-”

He actually thought about what to say next because he couldn’t just say you are such jerk or a dick because that didn’t cut it, he wanted to say something that Elena would have wanted him to say so he said “You are such a typical cisgender male that is not even as progressive as my catholic school and who thinks everything is about him” 

He stood up when he saw the way his dad staring at him bewildered like he had no idea of what Alex was saying, he remembers his dad trying to hold him back but Hugo stood in front of him like a shield and Hugo who has to say “hi” to every single person in a house, the one who said “that’s wild” when he hears that someone calls their parents by their names and refers to everyone as Mrs or Mr even if they tell him that they can call them by their first name, that Hugo glared at Alex’s dad without a hint of hesitation and said as flippant as possible “I think you said enough for today”.

He is honestly so grateful to Hugo because that night was a fucking disaster and Alex left the pizza place feeling like shit and like he was never going to be able to eat pizza ever again, he felt better as the night went on, he went to Hugo’s house and was surprised when he saw Tyler, Finn and Cameron sitting in the living room with basically an homemade self-care package made specifically for Alex, it was junk food, spiderman movies, video games and a giant blanket, all it needed was his abuelita’s forehead kisses and ropa vieja to be perfect and suddenly the night wasn't so bad.

Obviously it wasn’t the last time he saw his dad, they texted until it seemed like his papi finally got that what he did was wrong so he agreed to see him, his dad replied “i love you -P” and then Elena took his phone to check who was texting him and well, you already know the rest. 

Elena is the one to break him away from his thoughts when they get to school and she yells one of her classmates from trying to take the parking spot away from them, he laughs shaking his head as he sees his friends waving and smiling at him as he walks towards them. 

But then he feels someone pushing him from behind him hard enough to make him fall on the floor, his face doesn’t hit the ground because he stops it with his hands, for a second he thinks that it might have been an accident so he doesn’t get mad right away but then he looks up and sees Kevin’s mocking grin as he passes him by saying “sorry”. 

He wants to kick him, punch him back, push him or something but before he knows it, Kevin is too far away and his friends are right in front of him,Tyler grabs him by his hands and helps him to stand up, he lets out a little grunt as he does it

“You okay?” Hugo asks looking down like he is checking if he hurt his knees, Cameron is looking around like he is going to find something and Finn actually took a video of Alex falling and thinks it’s a little hilarious.

“Yeah, I’m fine” he insisted, Tyler was still holding his hands, it looks like he is playing with his hands like he usually does but Alex can tell that he is actually subtly checking on his hands to see if there is no blood, he pulls one of his hands away as he insist “i’m fine, really”.

He looks at his friends and boyfriend and it doesn’t take genius to know that they don’t believe him and just today when he wants the bell to ring away, it doesn’t, he knows that they won’t believe him if he answers “I just fell” so he says half true instead “i as just really distracted because my dad is coming to visit us this weekend” 

He waits for their reactions but they are just staring at him like they don’t know if that’s good or bad and they are waiting for him to tell them. Finn is the first one to talk and you can always count on him to say what everyone else is thinking but no one wants to say, he turns up his nose and says “Yikes”.

“He is also bringing his girlfriend with him” he announces and Tyler squeezes his hand, it hurts a little but he doesn’t pull it away, he needs it right now.

“Double yikes” Finn says nodding like he just realized that he made the right choice of word. 

“She could be nice,you could like her” Hugo offers lamely like he is not sure what to expect of Alex’s dad at this point

And it’s fine, Alex doesn’t know what to expect either.

“My dad’s new girlfriend Nancy is nice, i like her” Finn adds with shrug “i hope that she dumps him soon tho, she could do better”

He nods absentmindedly, that could be a possibility he could look at her and think “huh, too good for my garbage dad” or maybe she is some twenty something year old girl that is an instagram model.

Because at this point, he could expect anything from his papi.

That’s when the bell rings of course. 

They all pick up their backpacks, they all started to walk inside until Tyler pulls his hand and makes a facial expression that he is pretty sure it means that they need to talk so he gives the guys a sign to keep walking, they’ll catch them in a minute.

Alex is suddenly scared that Tyler is going to ask if he is going to come out to his dad because the answer is still no and he knows that Tyler looked chill about it but that was a while back and what if he has changed his mind-

Tyler doesn't say anything like that, he actually doesn’t say anything at all, he just takes an small bottle of purell and some napkins from his backpack, he takes Alex’s hands, they are a little busted up but nothing bad enough to go to the nurse, Tyler still somewhat worried expression but he doesn’t push for answers, he just cleans his hands. 

A lot of things are going through Alex’s head like “you don’t have to do that”, “we are going to be late” and “if you keep doing things that make my heart beat this fast, i’m going to die of a heart attack and that is going to stay in your conscience forever” but he stops thinking when Tyler pulls one of Alex’s hands up and kisses it. 

Yeah, he is going to die of heart attack, he'll be remembered as the guy that died because his boyfriend kissed his hand. 

He can actually feel shiver run down his spine as Tyler takes his other hand puts it against his soft lips to kiss it and when that happens it feels like he is both tensing and relaxing at the same time and he can hear this voice inside of his head going “dude, chill” but he really feels like that ship has sailed. 

Tyler lets go of his hand looking slightly embarrassed by his own gesture as he says “i know it’s dumb but-”

Alex doesn’t even let him finish the sentence, he just leans forward and kisses him because he wants Tyler to understand that he what he did was to turn Alex's entire brain upside down in the best way possible and he could never find anything he did dumb.

.Well, maybe when he talks about killing Tom King but that’s it. 

Tyler extracts himself from the kiss for a second to say “we are going to be late for class”. 

Alex actually checks his phone to see what time it is and actually setups an alarm “technically we still have twelve minutes and if we kiss for only five minutes, I think we can make it”. 

Tyler huffed out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders, before he leaned forward to kiss him again.

***** 

They are on art class doing landscapes, Hugo and his look a little a little weird, they were both trying to do paintings of parks but Hugo’s looks like the jungle and his looks like if a forest was attacked by the dinosaurs of jurassic park, Finn’s river looks decent enough,it would look better but he is not trying that hard, he says that he just aiming for a B-,Tyler is doing a sunset in the beach, it’s looks really good but Cameron’s landscape is by far the best out of all of them, it’s a very detailed painting of a farm with bunch of sunflowers it almost looks like a picture.

“How is he even doing that?” Hugo ask looking at Cameron paint, him and Tyler are few seats ahead of them, Hugo couldn’t ask any more questions because Mrs. Anderson shushes them, she believes that peace and quiet can help creativity, he thinks that it’s because she wants to finish reading fifty shades of grey in peace, the only time they are allowed to talk to each other is if they need more paint.

He can tell that everyone is waiting and praying for her to go to the bathroom. 

It's also really hard to be quiet when everytime he looks at the front, Tyler turns around to make funny faces at him. 

When Mrs. Anderson finally stands up and leaves to go the bathroom, they all collectively let out a sigh and start talking to each other like if they were never going to be able to do it again.

“so how is the best man speech coming?” Alex asks Hugo who is now cleaning his brush looking slightly exasperated.

“Good I think I have the beginning” he said as he put on his presentation voice “Good Afternoon guys gals and non binary pals, I want to start by thanking you all for coming here today,for those of you who don't know me my name is Hugo and I am the son of the groom and today is an important day for me because my favorite person in the whole world is getting married to my dad”. 

“Okay that is pretty funny” he said laughing as he looked at his painting trying to find a way to fix it “what are you going to write next?”

“I have absolutely not fucking idea” Hugo said with an stressed smile which meant that he had most likely spent last night trying to find the right words and re-writing his speech again and again “I just don’t know what to say”

 

“What do you mean that you don’t know what to say?” he said in disbelief, Hugo groaned sounding tired and Alex decided not to push it and try to brainstorm with him instead “i just mean that there are so many things that you could talk about like how he goes with you to every single one of your baseball games and that every time you win, you run to him and he lifts you up” 

Alex is not exaggerating in the slightest even now that his son is fifteen, Samuel still finds a way to lift up his son, only letting out a grunt of effort, even now that Hugo is quickly becoming taller than his dad. 

“That’s exactly it, there are too many stories to tell and i can’t tell all of them and i just don’t want it to be about me and my dad, it has to be about Isaac too, he is like officially becoming part of the family-Not that he wasn’t before but you know”

“Yeah, i know, it’s an special day and you want to make special for everyone” he doesn’t add the obvious part about how Hugo wants to make sure that his dad won’t feel the absent of his grandparents “if you want i can help you with it?”

“A second opinion would be helpful” 

“What are you going for exactly? Like a funny speech or you just want everyone to be crying by the end of it”

 

“Both” Hugo said nodding.

Alex was about to say that Hugo needed to be more specific when he looked at the front and noticed that Tyler had turned his seat around, he would have thought nothing of it, he actually expecting him to make a funny face like he had been doing before but he sees him frowning and then suddenly standing up and walking towards Kevin.

He stands up to see what is happening, Hugo also turns to look at him and then to the other side trying to find what Alex is looking at, even Finn who was happily flirting with Ashley a minute ago, joins them like they are playing “where's wally?”.

“Dude,if you are jealous,you need to take it down a notch, don’t you think? he is just talking to the guy” Finn asks him and Alex had to hold himself back from kicking his chair, reminding himself that well Finn didn’t knew what was going on with him and Kevin. 

He didn’t explain or try to answer the question, he was too focused on the conversation Tyler was having with Kevin, he wished that he knew how to read lips to figure out what they were saying. 

Even if he couldn’t figure it out what they were saying, he could see that it wasn’t a pleasant conversation to say the least, Kevin was laughing with his head throw back and Tyler had his jaw clenched, eyes angry and determined like he was going to kill him and knew exactly how to do it. 

“SAY IT AGAIN!LOUDER THIS TIME!” Tyler said hard enough for the whole class to stop what they were doing and turn to look at them and Kevin had stopped laughing, he looked slightly nervous like he wasn’t expecting to get called out or for Tyler to even hear him.

He looked a little sorry but that only lasted for a second, his mocking grin came back so quickly it was shocking, it was obvious that he wasn’t sorry for what he said but that he got caught, he even opened his mouth ready to repeat what he had said but he didn’t have the chance because Tyler grabbed the red paint and throw it at him. 

Honestly, forget about Cameron’s painting,Kevin’s angry face expression was the real masterpiece in the class, there is paint on top of his nose, a bit in the inside of his mouth and chin, there was shock and anger written all over him, he coughing and trying to get the paint out of his mouth, he tries to spit it on Tyler who looks unfazed, he just gives a step back and avoids it.

Kevin stands up, he tries to be intimidating by making his eyes as angry as possible and trying to appear taller than he is but looks like an angry little boy and the genuine surprise when he notices that Tyler is actually taller than him, he looks up to him and all Tyler does is lift an eyebrow like he is asking him what? what are you going to do? .  
Alex knows that he should stop it, that he should run and hold Tyler back, not because he cares about what might happen to Kevin but because he doesn’t want Tyler to get into trouble BUT he has a reason (it might not be a very good reason or an excellent one but he still thinks that it’s still a valid one) he finds Tyler...kind of...very of hot right now. 

Not that he likes Tyler when he is angry because when he is he gets quiet and he has this sad eyes, he becomes the living embodiment of “i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed” and when he sees Tyler like that it kills him inside BUT this Tyler who is looking down at Kevin like he could kick him and delete him with one of his hands like dang, he is hot. 

“You are fucking crazy-” Kevin started but Tyler didn’t let him finish, he was not going to let him have the last word. 

Again. Dang.

“Shut the fuck pennywise” Tyler said harshly narrowing his eyes “If even think of making fun of-”

When Tyler doesn’t finish saying that sentence because they hear some footsteps coming down the hall but neither of them move, Cameron stands up and quickly grabs Tyler’s hand to get him back on his seat before Mrs. Anderson walks through the door. 

Kevin ends up doing one thing right and doesn’t snitch (good because then Alex would have to physically fight him then) he just goes to the bathroom to clean himself up, he does glare at Tyler who either doesn’t notice or acts like he doesn’t. 

The silence is back Alex would like to fill it with the sound of him punching Kevin in the face, now he has thought of punching Kevin ever since the time he told him that he would break his arm but right now he wants to kill him right then there because he can’t stop thinking about what would make Tyler react that way? what kind of fucked up joke would make him that angry? 

He wants to ask him what happened and he was going to when the class was officially over but in between cleaning themselves and having to put all the art supplies back into place, he only had enough time to sneak a kiss on the cheek and then run to baseball practice. 

He started to change quickly when an already dressed Finn stood next to him awkwardly, he was about to tell him to go outside when he said “i was rewatching the video of your fall”. 

“I already said that if you put that online i won’t talk you ever again” he said he changed his t-shirt.

“I mean that i know who pushed Alex” Finn says and Alex stops changing for a second only for Mrs. Valdez to tell him to hurry, that’s when Finn whispered “was he the dick that has been bothering you?”

“Yep” he admitted now putting his pants and bending down to tie up his shoes “to be honest, he just said that if i looked at him while he changed he’ll break my arm”.

“Well, i don’t think that he is ever going to do that EVER again” Finn said completely amused “I think he might be a little scared of your boyfriend”. 

Alex huffs out a laugh as they go outside and when he sees that Kevin is actually doing everything in his power to stay as far away as possible from him when he lets out a full laughter, that only Finn understands and everyone else looks at him like he is crazy.

***** 

When baseball practice is officially over, Alex gets a text from his mami telling him that she can’t come to pick him up today from school and to take the bus, for a second he considers sneaking out with Tyler to go on a date but he thinks that his mom would find out somehow so he is not going to break the rules, instead he is going to work around them, like his mami never said where he had to take the bus so technically he can walk Tyler home and take the bus there. 

He explains his logic to Tyler who looks like he is ridiculous before taking his hand and saying “That makes perfect sense, let’s go”.

They get out of school and start their way to Tyler’s house, when they are one blocks away and talking about how they shouldn't watch the new star wars movie but they probably are going to do it anyway,when they see a guy selling ice cream cones and Tyler decides to buy two ice cream one of strawberry for him and chocolate for Alex. 

“thank you” he says as he takes the scone from Tyler’s hand and he finished paying the guy, he starts to eat his ice cream when he sees someone's window, there is a vase with sunflowers and it bring him back to the conversation he had with his mom. 

He is about to ask Tyler what he thinks of it or of he even likes flowers but he seems to be one step ahead of him when he catches him staring “I know you like sunflower by post Malone but i didn't knew you liked actual sunflowers”

Alex doesn't know what to respond for a second because straight up saying “i don't know, do you like them? like hypothetically if i gave you flowers how would you react?” doesn't feel right but what comes out of his mouth is “i mean they are okay but did you know that green carnations have a connection with the LGBT community?”

He is expecting Tyler to say no and act confused but instead he nods and says “Yeah, it's because Oscar Wilde asked one of the actors and a group of his friends in the audience to wear green carnations in their buttonholes during a play, some people say that it was a subtle way to say fuck you to people that thought that love between two men might be unnatural”. 

After dropping all of that information on Alex,it’s Tyler who looks at him surprised before adding “i didn't knew you read autostraddle”

“I don't, no really” he said honestly “mami did, apparently back when Elena came out, she did a little of googling about it and found out some cool stuff”

“Your mom is so cool” Tyler tells him as he eats more of his ice cream “i was expecting you to say Elena”

“Oh i’m sure she has” he says before thinking about a way to get back to the topic of flowers so that he could get some information out of Tyler “Do you know any other facts about flowers?”

“Violets are a symbol of-”

“Lesbian love, i know” he says finishing the sentence for him. 

“Alright” Tyler said looking like he had just find a challenge “what about this fact, did you know that a bisexual flowers exist?”

“Really?” Alex asked impressed, he actually didn’t know about that

“Yeah, it’s a flower that contains both male flowers and female buds, biologists call them the perfect flowers” he said and then he started to move his eyelashes flirtatiously before adding “which means that they are perfect just like you”

He instantly blushes and he is pretty sure that Tyler just left him speechless, his heart pounding and Tyler is staring at him with a cocky smile on his face looking satisfied with his reaction. 

Now he doesn’t even know how to ask the question. 

What was even the question?

“So you do like flowers then?” he asks and it comes out high-pitched, he cringes slightly at his own voice feeling embarrassed

“Dude, your face is so red” Tyler says and he wants to yell back that it’s his fault, that his face is red because of him and him making fun of him is not really helping, but then Tyler holds his hand and Alex notices how his hands are sweating, usually he wouldn’t like to hold a sweaty hand but he knows that Tyler hands only do that when he is nervous, he knows that this is Tyler’s way of saying that saying that dumb pick up line made him really anxious and Alex automatically feels himself soften.

“Speaking of red” he says because he has been meaning to ask about the thing that happened in art class, he just hadn’t found an appropriate time and now it feels like it is “what happened with Kevin? Not that i’m complaining, he is a total dick-”

“Wait did he do anything to you?” he asked back looking angry like he was about to go back to school and look for Kevin and beat him up.

“He just said some stupid bullshit” he said but Tyler didn’t seem like he was going to let that go that easy “maybe similar to what he said to you?”

“God, i really hope not” Tyler said before looking into Alex’s eyes and nodding like that’s when he was ready to talk “he asked if he could borrow my red paint and i said “no” because i was going to use it and then he just walked away and started to talk shit with his friend, at first it was just the usual stuff like do you remember when Betty Lerman said that my parents didn’t die, they killed themselves because of how ugly i was?”

“Yeah, i do” he said bitterly, it was just one of those moments in which he wished that he had said something but he didn’t, he just saw Tyler shrugged it off and flip the bird at her “did he said something like that?”

“Kind of but more stupid, it went more around the lines of your parents didn’t die, they killed themselves because you are gay which is like whatever you know, make fun of an orphan, i’m sure your very alive parents are proud of you” he said bitterly rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Alex thought that that was enough reason to throw paint at his face “i should have let it go, i WAS going to let it go but then he just had to talk more shit but about my sister, loud enough for me to hear him but he acted like i couldn’t hear him and i think i lost it so i confronted him, i wanted him to just apologize and admit that he was being dumb but instead he laughed, HE LAUGHED on my face and i just lost it and i kind of regret it, i thought about apologizing like maybe i went to far-”. 

“You didn’t, the guy was bad mouthing your whole family tree, he was five minutes away from going off on your grandparents” he says trying to reassure him and to make him laugh,  
Tyler doesn’t look completely convinced but he is laughing so he is halfway there “he said that he wanted to break my arm once”

“What?” he asks looking both shocked and outraged like he wants to check Alex’s arm to make sure he didn’t actually break his arm in the last second.

“I’m fine, i swear, he just said that he would break my arm if he caught me staring at him while he changed y otras cojudeces” Alex scoffed thinking about how ridiculous that whole thing was “obviously i reminded him that i have good taste so there why the hell would i be looking at him?”

“Well, you are dating me so your taste-” he says ready to make a self-deprecating joke and Alex is about let it slide but he can’t.

“Exactly, i’m dating you so i have excellent taste” Alex says and grins wildly when sees a blush started to appear on Tyler’s face “because you are an excellent boyfriend”

“You are only saying that because i bought you an ice cream today” he says before Alex shakes his head. 

“Nope, i’m saying that because you are cute” he says before letting go of Tyler’s hand so he can reach out and tap the tip of Tyler’s nose, he sees his boyfriend smile slowly before going back to his ice cream and Alex decides to say add something else “Also seeing you yell at Kevin today, super hot” 

Tyler starts laughing, he almost chokes with the ice cream but after Alex pats him in the back, he starts to laugh again and you don’t need to be genius to know that he doesn’t believe Alex so he repeats it one more time “i’m serious, you're really hot when you're pissed off."

This time the laughter dies down slowly and he flushes again but this time is blotchy and looks like a red tomato and all that comes out is "I mean, uhm, what, why ...?"

“I’d say that you-”

“No, i heard, I just I'm-” he says obviously flustered but shaking his head. 

“I also think you are beautiful” he says and he can feel his own heart starting to flutter when Tyler meets his eyes, he can tell that he is still not sure judging by his nervous laughter and the way his eyebrows twitch downward and Alex wants to say it again. 

He wants to say it again until he believes him but Tyler leans in to kiss him and he almost drops his ice cream, kiss him again, short and soft, “so are you” he agrees against his lips before pulling away and taking his hand.

They keep walking and he can feel Tyler’s hand, it’s not longer sweaty, now it’s just hot and Alex squeezes his hand as they continue eating their ice creams. 

*****

His dad is coming over tomorrow and his mom has decided that they house must be impeccable for that, his abuelita and Elena are helping her to clean but he thinks that they are only doing it because Elena is stress cleaning and abuelita just really likes to clean, he decides to throw out the trash but only so that he can sneak out to Schneider's apartment but only for a second, he needs to ask for a favor. 

He knocks on the door and waits for awhile as he hears Schneider move things to get to the door, he is probably trying a new hobby that takes over his whole living room or maybe he just interrupted a romantic date bettwen him and Avery,he is about to take it back when Schneider opens the door and getting his head out of door as he says “Hola, mi amigo”. 

Alex snorts before saying “Hi Schneider, sorry if i'm bother-”.

"What? NO! don't say that, you could never bother me, what's going on, kiddo, buddy, my man, hombre?"

"You know how dad is coming to visit tomorrow" 

"Yeah, how are you and Elena taking that?" he asks looking concerned.

"Elena is stress cleaning and well i'm here" 

"Do you want to come in? i can make some hot cocoa and we can talk, just give me a second to-"

"No, it's okay, i have to go back before mami notices that i'm here instead of back home cleaning the kitchen"

"Yikes" Schneider said making a face "that's sucks, dude"

"Yep" he agreed "but i'm not here to talk about that, i'm here to ask you for a favour"

"Of course, anything" Schneider says putting his hand on his shoulder "what do you need kiddo?"

"Do you think you can come with us to dinner tomorrow night?"

"You are having dinner with your dad tomorrow night, Alex" Schneider said sounding confused.

"Yeah, i need you to invite yourself to the dinner, like just be your super friendly self and come with us but make it look natural"

"Alex-"

"I need you there, Tyler told me how you break the ice with him and abuelita, you can do that now, stop the awkward silence, make small talk"

"There was a difference there, Tyler and your abuelita both like me, your dad hates my guts and i highly doubt that he would appreciate to have me there disturbing his family time”

"Yeah but i want you there with me and you wouldn't be disturbing our family time, you are part of my family" he says and he sees how Schneider softens for a second before shaking his head.

"I don't think your dad is going to see it that way" he said getting out of his aparment compleatly putting both of his hands on his shoulders like if he was trying to calm him down to make him understand that he can't go, that he might make thing worst and that's the last thing he wants so Alex does something that he hasn't done in a while, he brings his best puppy dog eyes and pouts.

"Alex, that doesn't work on anymore" he says but he is covering his face with his hand, when he takes a peek, he sighs and says "Oh god, how does is your mother ever able to say no, UGH, alright, at what time do i have to be there?" 

He pulls him into a hug and says "thanks man, you won't regret it" and a second goes by before Schneider hesitantly hugs him back. 

"De nada" he says patting him in the back. 

*****

"Do you think my dad is going to feel old if i call him "Viejito" during my speech?" Hugo ask, him and Alex have been on the phone an hour perfectionating his speech. 

"I think that he is going to think it's sweet, you should call him that in the part in which you talk about how proud you are of him"

"Yeah okay" he said, he could hear him writting down on a paper "I think we are done"

"I like it, i hope that it makes some people laugh and cry" 

"Yeah, me too" Hugo said laughing "how are you? are you ready to meet your dad's girlfriend?"

"I think so, like you said, she could be nice" he said feeling a sense of dread, his papi will be home soon "or maybe she is some twenty year old instagram model that i won't ever see again, either way it's cool"

"Do you want to make a bet?" Hugo asked. 

"You are spending too much time with Finn"

"Oh, hush" He said, he could hear him moving around in his room "five dollars?" 

"Alright, five dollars that she is some young flaquita that is a college student and who is going to tell me to call her mom"

"Ay por el amor de dios, Alejandro" Hugo replied dying with laugther "alright, i be that she is some normal looking woman that likes your dad and it's not even serious yet".

"Deal" he says as he hear his mami calling him to come help her finish cleaning "look i gotta go but i'll keep you updated, okay?"

"Okay, we'll talk later, bye" he said before hanging up. 

He is barely in the livingroom when his mami starts telling him to turn the pillows to their good side and hide the ugly one in the closet, he takes the pillow and puts in the closet after all he can complain, Elena got the worst part, she had to clean the whole bathroom, when he hears his abuelita talk to Elena about flipping the table he honestly hopes that it doesn't come to that but he agrees with Elena, you just never know with their papi. 

It also makes him happy that his mami and him agree that he is probably dating some instagram model who just got out of college. 

When he opens the door, he is actually happy to see him but when they hug it's a reminder how much have things changed, back then the three of them would hug for a long time before they even let him inside of the aparment now they just have a brief hug and that's it. 

He mentally prepares himself to see Margot Robbie walk trought the door when he sees a woman that looks so similar to his mami to the point that it's scary, it's actually creppy when he sees them hug each other, when the words leave his mouth he doesn't even process it. 

"Dang, papi's got a type" he says staring at the scene uncomfortably. 

Well, at least that's enough suprises for today.

"Is that a ring?" his abuelita asks and Alex can feel his whole world turning upside down for a second. 

It finishes turning upside down when his dad says "Nicole is my fiance".

For a second all he thinks about is calling Hugo and telling him that they both lost the bet,that's of course until he turns around and sees his abuelita try to flip a table, that distracts him for a bit. 

They sit down to talk with her and everything seems to be okay, she tells him that he is handsome, she asks for preffered prounouns and she is an special education teacher but the moment Alex hears her and his mami laugh at the same time, he just knows that this is going to put him in teraphy.

When he goes to the kitchen to get more snacks, he takes a picture of her because he is so sure that no one is going to believe this so he better get some proof.

He takes advantage of the fact that Schneider is there distracting his dad and trying to become his best man and maybe try to get on his good side, at least his dad is actually nice to him this time but he is pretty sure it all goes away the moment Schneider invites himself to dinner, he notices that his dad is genuinely annoyed that he is coming but Alex won't take it back. 

Once they are out of the apartment, he asks Elena to go get Schneider and tell him to hurry up and surprisingly she goes without arguing that he should go, he quickly understands why, she is not ready to hang out with Dad, if it's just going to be the two of them. 

"I know that he is your family friend but does he really have to invite himself everywhere we go" He says and Alex can tell what he is doing, he is trying to make Schneider feel bad, he might even try to bring it up again during dinner and he is not going to subject Schneider to that. 

"He didn't invite himself, i invited him yesterday" he said, his dad gave him this betrayed look on his face like he just couldn’t believe Alex did that, he opened his mouth like he was about to say something but Schneider and Elena showed up and close his mouth.

“Sorry, i couldn’t find my bag” Schneider said as Elena called the elevator. 

When they got into the Elevator there was this awkward silence until Schneider started to talk about this new yoga class he was taking, which gets Elena start talking about “meditation”, even his dad starts to ask them questions, the silence is gone and he is just so glad that he invited him. 

*****

The restaurant is nice, he has never been there before but Schneider and says that he can tell them the best plates and even order in spanish, everything seems to be running smoothly (well as smooth as possible, his dad still looks disappointed at the fact that he has to share a whole afternoon with Schneider) when he pulls out that damn hat that has the letters V.A.G., now Alex doesn’t wear hats in general because it’s bad for his hair but he can understand  
his father’s horror and confusion at the single idea of wearing a hat that says vag.

“I’ll wear it” Elena says looking delighted and smug as she puts the hat on her head. 

They sit on their own for a few seconds, his papi ask them the classic questions “how it’s school?”, “do you like the restaurant?” and “How are your friends?”, they answer and tell him that every in school is okay, they tell him that they restaurant is nice, Elena avoids the question about friends, she just says “they are good”, Alex actually tries to talk about his friends and gives his dad details since he has only seen some of his friends once the day of the recital and the day od the quinces, well except for Hugo and that meet up was brief and unpleasant to say the least but he feels too self conscious, worried that he might say too much about Tyler like he did that day with abuelita and he ends up sounding like if he saying “Yes, my friends who i love equally”. 

That’s when another surprise happens and his abuelita comes towards them and gives them both a hug and a kiss, Schneider smiles as he says “She is my plus one, i hope that’s okay”. 

“Of course, it wouldn’t be a dadchelor party without my ex-wife’s mother” his dad said sounding a little condescending. 

There is a moment of dread when she sees the hat Elena is wearing but her smile quickly quirks up as she says “Victor Alvarez Guapisimo” Alex just smiles thinking that maybe Schneider and Abuelita share one brain cell. 

“I want one” his abuelita says, both Elena and Schneider point at her trimphaly, his papi is done.

*****

When they are starting to eat, he sees that his friends are writing him on the group chat, his friends have asked him the same question four times at the same time. 

Hugo: just checking in to see if things are going okay? 

Finn: So how did it go with the girlfriend?

Cameron: how is that dinner going? 

Tyler: I hope that things are going well with your dad. 

He doesn’t respond, he just sends the picture of “Nicole” and waits for an answer. 

Finn: That’s going to put you in therapy.

Hugo: For a second i thought that was your mom. 

Cameron: that’s not his mom? 

Tyler: oh god.

“Oh god” indeed. 

Elena gives him a nudge and he promises to tell his friends the whole story later but he is having dinner right now so he’ll talk to them later, he promises. 

“I know that this is all happening really quick so i wanted to talk to you guys”

“Oh, yes tell us” his abuelita says taking 

“Yeah, let’s crack that egg open and get right to yolk” Schneider says drinking his coca cola. 

His dad looks annoyed again but he just sighs this time and says “Uh, well.... I was thinking it would be just me and the kids but um, okay….well i know that this all seems fast but Nicole is really great person and i would love it if you guys would get to know her so i hope you can spent some time with us this week”.

Alex can’t, it’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just can’t, he is actually busy this week, they have a big baseball game coming up which means that they are going to have extra practices, he also has to get a suit for Hugo’s dad’s wedding, Tyler’s play is on the weekend so there is just a lot of no’s but he doesn’t know how his dad is going to take it if he just says all of that. 

He is just not going to stop all of his plans because his dad wants to see him, and the words of uncle phil go back to his head, Alex is not a coat that he can hang in the closet then pick it up when he is ready to wear it,his life goes on. 

His life went on and his dad should be there for him for that. 

And maybe Alex should let him, he could give him a chance to be there for him. 

That’s when he considers telling him, he says the first half of his sentence “Papi before i answer, i need to know something”, he can actually feel Elena’s hand in his back giving him support but the moment he looks at his dad’s eyes he chickens out and says “Does your hotel have a pool?”

His papi sighs and laughs nervously “Yes”.

“Then i’m in” he says looking down at his plate.

“So Nicole is from Portland, right?” Elena asks him “i hear they have a huge LGTB+ community” 

That’s when Alex realizes what she is going, she is testing the waters.

“Oh yeah, they have a parade like every week” he says scoffing. 

Wrong answer, Alex is shaking his head and giving him a sign to take back the scoffing or add “Yeah it’s great” at the end of his sentence but nothing happens.

“Oh, is that a bad thing?” Elena asks questioningly like if they were on a debate. 

“No.No, I- i mean when i’m trying to get to work it is but uh-well that would be truth of a straight parade" his papi actually makes eye contact with him and sees him shaking his head, he tries to fix it by saying "I'm anti parade". 

He tenses and he can sees Elena tensing too. 

“Anyway, Nicole’s sister Mia, she goes to them all the time” he brings up, maybe trying to make conversation with Elena. 

“Oh,so, you are cool with her did you go to to her quinces?”

Well that backfired. 

*****  
Eventually his dad starts talking about the wedding, he sounds excited and happy talking about the details so he lets him, Schneider comes back from the bathroom asking about the important one the date, his dad looks at him like he is crazy enough to think he is being invited but Alex will bring him as a plus one if he has to. 

“So Elena, Alex, can i count on you two being there?” he asks finally, he looks nervous like he is about to start panicking so Alex decides to throw him a bone. 

“Papi, i’ll come to all of your weddings if you come to all of mine” Alex says with smile on his face, seeing his dad relax for a second. 

“Oh my god, okay” he sighs before asking “Elena?”

“I want to lay out some ground rules, i’m not going to hide the fact that i’m gay” she says and now it’s Alex’s turn to put his hand on her back and support her but instead he holds her hand underneath the table.

“Okay” his papi accepts.

“and i’m definitely going to wear my white suit” she says and Alex nods along her words, like a backup singer during a solo. 

“No. no, absolutely no” he says and Alex feels her squeezing his hand back like if it was some sort of personal stress ball and it hurts a little but he lets her do it. 

“I knew it” she says smiling bitterly “this is all a show but you are never gonna be okay with who i am-”

“Elena, you can’t wear a suit because you need to wear a tuxedo” he says surprising them both. 

“what?” she asks still shocked.

“I want you and Alex to be my best man and my best woman.Best people” he says trying to stay gender neutral, Alex lets out a giant smile because he can feel his sister’s hand soften and he thanks god that this wasn’t an act, this was his papi actually trying to be better. 

“I mean if Elena is cool with it” he says because he still knows that his sister needs some time to process some stuff and she doesn’t forgive easily. 

“I mean, you really want me to be your best woman” she says still shocked, when her papi nods, she giggles happily “i would love that. Yes.” 

The night ends up going in the right direction and he is actually happy about it but by the time he is home, he feels a little restless and doesn’t feel like sleeping, he thinks that he might just binge watch some shows, he is about to tell Elena if she wants to but her driving test is tomorrow so he is in his own. 

That's when his cell phone rings and he sees Tyler’s name. 

"hey, not that I'm not happy to hear from you but you shouldn't you be asleep by now?" he asks him because he knows that Tyler gets sleepy easily and he has rehearsal tomorrow.

"Yeah but i know that you are restless, most likely had a weird night and maybe need someone to talk to” he says simply like he is not making Alex’s heart do a backflip “so i made coffee and we can talk until you fall asleep if you want”.

“Really?” he asks sitting on his bed feeling like an excited kid. 

“Really” he assures him. 

And that’s all Alex needs to start describing the night he just had and Tyler listens to him the whole way through, he listens even after he starts talking about everything and nothing at the same time and he doesn’t know at what point, he falls asleep but when he does, it feels like Tyler feel asleep next to him holding his hand. 

*****

The next morning he agrees to go with Elena to her driving test not because he wants to but because she woke him up the next morning by taking the covers off of him and asking him to test her about some questions, he decides to go with her at the end for support. 

He falls asleep on the way there with his head next to the car’s window and her and Doctor B. singing Sara Bellies.

Everyday he wonders what has become of his normal life.

Once they get there Elena and Doctor B. keep studying and he checks his phone to listen to some music, he doesn’t think that some stuff they are talking about is necessary like Elena should know that she shouldn’t run over nun, right?

“After you past the test maybe you could drive me to the mall, i need to get something for Lydia our one year non-niversary is coming up[“

“What’s a non-niversary?” Alex asks confused. 

“It’s one full year, since your grandmother first told me that she had absolutely no romantic feelings for me, i should get her something”

He is about to tell him that there is no such a thing as non-niversary but who is he to judge? he doesn’t know when he got a boyfriend. 

“I will drive you anywhere you want because you are best teacher ever and i’m going to crush this test” she says confidently. 

That’s of course when a crying girl stops in front of them, talking about she regretted using flashcards and relying on a family friend. 

When he turns around he sees Elena starting to panic. OH NO. 

“I’m actually going to fail” she says after saying a bunch of oh gods.

“Elena, relax” 

“Relax? No, i’m never going to get my license. i’m never going to get job. i’m going to live at home forever and then Syd is going to leave me for a soft butch with a subaru”. 

“Okay, i’m think that you are having an anxiety attack” he tells as she starts to pant and he slowly gets her to take a seat “here, sit down take a deep breath and think of something calming like that supreme court lady you like Darth Vader Ginsburg”.

“You mean the tiny old lady clinging to life with one hand and to our frail democracy with the other” 

“OH GOD SHE IS RIGHT” doctor B. says and now it looks like both of them are having panic attacks. 

“Calm down, doc”

“I can’t if Elena fails, it’ll be my fault, they always say “if you can’t do, teach” but if you can’t teach what is there?” 

They are both hyperventilating so he does the only thing he can do, he rubs their backs for a few seconds.

Eventually both Elena and Doctor B start to feel better again, he is laughing at the picture of a pug and he can tell by the way Elena told him that he can’t say the word “Bitch” that she is good. 

They wait for her to be done and he helps Doctor B to get the perfect present for Abuelita, they go through her bouquet list to get some ideas and at the end he seems to find one but won’t tell him what is it because he wants it to be a surprise. 

When Elena comes back, her head is down and she looks sad, he is about to start panicking but quickly realizes that it’s all an act when she starts laughing and pulls him into a hug, he is too happy for her to be mad that she scared him. 

On the way home he even joins on the Sara Bellies sing out. 

****

Once they are home there is just much to celebrate and he is so happy that he decided to put the martinellis on the fridge, Elena looks so touched by it, he is about to open it when he pulls too hard and it falls all over his white shirt, dammit this is never going to come off, if he doesn’t go to the laundry room right now. 

When he was in the laundry room, he starts to take off his shirt when he loses his valance removing his shirt and falls against the folding table. 

“OW” he hears coming from the other side of the table. 

He goes to see what happened and when he sees Schneider on the floor clutching his removed pants, he almost doesn’t recognize him, his hair is a mess, his eyes are red and a bottle of liquor is right next to him. 

It doesn’t take a genius to know that something terrible just happened.

“Schneider?” he asks still confused and he looks back at him, he can barely open his eyes, he looks terrible. 

“Alex, hey,man” he says, his voice is slurred and he is also not wearing any shoes “are you doing a load because i think i threw up on my pants.

“Oh” he says as he sees him dragging himself through the floor, he looks bad to say the least “dude, what happened?”

“I think i ate something that didn’t agree with me” he says as he struggles to get up, he wants to help him but he can’t stop looking at the bottle of liquor on the floor. 

That’s when he asks it “are you drunk?”

“What? no!” he says holding onto the washing machine like if it was a float.

“I thought you quit a long time ago” he sees as Schneider leans against the washing machine and sighs. 

“Yeah, well, i recently quit quitting” he admits as he leans down again to pick up his stuff “it’s alright, i’ll just go upstairs take a hot shower and i’ll be good as new”

“Are you sure you are okay?” he asks him and when Schneider doesn’t answer him, he has decided it “I think we should call somebody”

That’s when the unthinkable happens.

“No!” he screams and pushes hard him backing him into a washer. 

He is actually scared for a second and has a hard time seeing this guy and thinking he is the same Schneider that takes him to his baseball games, the one that he hugged two days ago and the first person of his family that he came out to. 

He is scared and he doesn’t want to show it. 

He wants to leave but he wants to help. 

He wants to scream for his mom but he doesn’t know what to tell her. 

That’s when Schneider drops his head and sighs,he apologizes he looks ashamed of himself but what he says next is “It’s not a big deal, it’s not going to happen again so don’t tell you mom you found me down here”.

He doesn’t know what to say, he can’t look him in the eyes right now and then he bangs his hand against the table when he screams “COME ON!”. 

If you had told him that he would ever be scared of Schneider, that the sound of his voice would startle him, he would have laughed because that idea sounded ridiculous to him but here he is. 

“She is just going to freak out and overreact like she did with you because smoked a little weed, how long did she ground you for?” he asks, Alex counts the months but something that he knows is that Schneider would never contradict anything that his mami would say and that he is obviously not in his right state of mind. 

“Four months and counting” he says after a second. 

“So you get it?” he asks him once again banging his hand against the table. 

“Yeah, i do”

He calls his mami, he knows that Schneider might be mad at him for now but he won't be in the long run, he'll get why, the same why Alex gets why he is still grounded, he comes to their house and takes a hot shower and his abuelita tells him repetedly that he did the right thing calling them, his mami says so too but he just has a bad feeling in his stomach that keeps on coming back every time he remenbers how Schneider pushed him.

Eventually he comes out of the shower, he hears him talk about his disease and sees his abuelita hug him and pat him around to check if he is actually clean and Alex is not sure if he is ever going to be able to drink ever again. 

“Alex, i...uh” he says but he can’t find the words but Alex knows that he is trying to say both i’m sorry and thank you.

“It’s all good” he insist offering him a fist bump and he takes it before going to the bathroom. 

He thinks of hugging him but can’t bring himself to, when his mami tells him to go to the kitchen he is ready to tell her that he is never ever going to do anything like drinking or vaping ever again but then she tells him that she is proud of him for how he handled everything today with Elena and Doctor B and especially Schneider. 

He is also no longer grounded and he almost does a celebration dance when that happens but he just hugs her. 

She even gives him 20 dollars but he knows that she is giving it to him as an excuse to leave the house so that she can be alone with Schneider, he takes Elena and his abuelita with him,

Once he is in the car, his abuelita must notice that something is off with him, she tells him to invite Tyler to go with them that it would be good for him to see him and tell him that he is no longer grounded.

So he does, he calls him and the first thing he says when he hears him pick up is to say “hey guess who has two thumbs up and is no longer grounded? THIS GUY!”

“Those are some great news!” he tells him sounding happy 

“Yeah, i got ungrounded at 4:20 by the way” he says and Tyler laughs “Hey, abuelita, Elena and me are going for ice cream, do you want to come with us? the uber can come pick you”

“MY NAME IS NOT UBER YOU DINGUS” Elena says loudly. 

“i was about to call to ask how did Elena driving test go but i guess that answers it” he says with snort “i’m actually at an ice cream parlor right now, i went out with some guys from the theater club”

“Oh” he says awkwardly, he doesn’t want to be the type of boyfriend to say hey babe, can you like stop hanging with your friends but he just doesn’t feel like being with crowd right now. 

“They are all gone” he says like he knows what Alex is saying before he even explains it “i was just waiting for Chloe's dad to pick her up and he just did, you should come over the ice cream is good i promise”

“Sent me the address and i’ll be on my way” he says. 

They get there relatively quickly, Tyler is waiting for him inside with a strawberry Sunday, smiling like he always does, he says “Hola señora” to abuelita and puts her into a hug, then he congratulates Elena and gives him a short kiss. 

He buys three cones for the three of them and they sit in Tyler's table and they talk about nothing and everything, Elena explains her driving test in detail and his Abuelita tells her how proud she is of her. 

And he is proud to and he wants to feel happy and forget about what just happened but he can’t so he goes to the bathroom to throw some water on his face and try to cool off. 

He is there for two minutes before Tyler walks in and closes the door with a determined look on his face,Alex almost immediately says “i know we haven’t been alone in a while but i’m not making out with you in a bathroom”

“Oh, ha ha” Tyler says shaking his head but immediately asks him “what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing is wrong” he says but Tyler shakes his head again.

"Alex I think you are forgetting that before dating you, I was your best friend first" he says squeezing his hands "and I still am, you are obviously not dressed for a celebration, you are wearing a tainted shirt and you are just off, i know something it’s wrong so tell me what's going on?"

He looks at him and holds his hands, Tyler usually doesn’t push but this time he is doing it, he is about to ask why but he knows why because he knows that Alex needs to talk about it. 

So he does.

"Schneider fell off the bandwagon, I found him in the floor of the laundry room" he tells him as he remembers the image "he was sitting on the floor and he didn't sound like himself and he didn't look like himself either and he yelled at me”

Tyler keeps on holding his hands rubbing his thumb along his hand like he always does, his look is warm and gentle just like his hands, he just nods as Alex talks like he understands and he feels comfortable enough to continue 

“and he pushed me” Tyler nods again “and he back me against one of the washing machines and....i’m just-i was just scared...i just i never thought that he would do anything like that, i knew that he used to...but he said-i just i have never seen him like that you know? it’s like he was this whole different person that i didn’t even knew existed”

He is expecting Tyler to be out of words or maybe uncomfortable enough not to know what to say but instead he assures him nodding again “I’m sorry that happened, you didn’t deserve to be yelled at and pushed and it’s okay to feel the way you do right now” 

“I don’t want to feel the way i do” he says and squeezes his hands “i don’t even know what or how to describe it, i just, i guess i’m still in shock and i just-it’s not that i hate him now or feel unsafe around something like that i just-”

"Okay so I have a story that might help you to get some perspective" he says he looks nervous and uncomfortable, Alex is ready to tell him that he doesn't have to tell him if he doesn't want to but before he does, Tyler takes a deep breath and tells him "you know not even Cameron knows about this" 

He understand that means you can't tell anyone about this and nods. 

"when I was six years old, Jeremy used to self harm". 

That caughts Alex completely off guard, he doesn't know how to respond to this confession so he holds his boyfriend's hand and squeezes it.

"I didn't knew about it obviously none of us did until one day, after going out with Sarah and Jill, we got to home too early and I wanted to go to the bathroom and i found Jeremy there he was on the floor, passed out and there was so much blood" he does an small pause like image just came back into his brain and he needs a second to continue "and I remember being so confused, not like an I don't know what's going on but like I didn't get how he could do this after our parents died and he saw how much that affected us and I was mad because he promised me that he was always was going to be there for me and it felt like...he was leaving me and I wanted to yell at him when he came back from the hospital but when he did he looked like a ghost and walked like a zombie and when he saw me, God it broke my heart, he started sobbing so I just held him because he needed me and he was still my cool older brother who taught me how to cheat on exams, board games and video games and show me how to say curse words and let me paint his nails with markers, it's just that now he was going through a rough patch and he needed me, he needed his family, the same way Schneider needs you guys right now"

Alex nodded, Tyler is right, Schneider is still the same guy who goes to his baseball games and gets face masks with his abuelita, he is just having a hard time dealing with a part of himself that Alex hadn't seen before. 

"I know it's not the same thing but-"

"Don't apologize it actually helped me out a lot" Alex says taking his hands and kissing them one by one "thank you for telling me".

"What you and Schneider had, you guys are going to get it back” he tells him before turning around and unlocking the door “now you go and i’ll go later so that your abuelita doesn’t think that we are making out in here”. 

He laughs and when he gets back to the table Elena hits him with the news that Abuelita is trying to convince Tyler into having a thousand kids and getting married young, he doesn’t believe her until his abuelita “what? it’s in my bouquet list to hold my grandchildren's children and Elena already said no”

**** 

It’s the middle of the night and Alex can't sleep, he decides to go to the kitcken for something to drink, in there he finds Schneider there drinking the last glass of orange juice, when he sees him, he offers to share it and Alex says “yes” before sitting down next to him.

“so how was today?” he asks him trying to awkwardly do small talk.  
“I went to an AA meeting after a long time, it was weird but it was good too” he says smiling sadly at him “how about you?”

“i went out with abuelita and Elena, Tyler tagged along and besides abuelita trying to convince my boyfriend to have at least four kids with me and marry me as soon as we get out of high school, it was good”

“Oh god, four?” he says and Alex laughs before nodding “we should go back to sleep”. 

“Yeah” he says finishing the glass “I’ll see you in the morning”

"wait, Alex, i just wanted to say thank you for calling your mom and i'm sorry for yelling at you and pushing you" schneider says before Alex goes to his room and he turns aroun to look at him and finally understand what Tyler meant when he said "looked like a ghost and walked like a zombie".

Alex just walks towards him and slowly, cautiously, hugs him before saying "i know". 

Schneider hugs him back and the a hug is tighter than is strictly comfortable but Alex doesn't care, he doesn't know for how long they stay like this but when they pull back from each other he can tell Schneider has cried, he doesn't point it out, they just wish each other a good night of sleep and this time Alex falls asleep without problems, everything is going to be just fine.


	7. Viejo mi querido Viejo part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, i know i read the buzzfeed articles “don’t come out when you are mad”, “don’t come out if it doesn’t feel safe”, “don’t come out until you know you are ready” but i don’t know if i’m ever not going to be mad or feel safe with him and i think this is as ready as i'll ever be so i should just do it, right?” 
> 
> “Or we can wait until we get married and send him the invitation and that can be your coming out” Tyler suggest making him let out a soft huff of laughter.
> 
> “did you say when we get married?” he said letting out an almost non-believing laugh and Tyler starts to shake his head “don’t lie, i heard you say “when we get married” now tell me about our wedding”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY PRIDE!!! i wanted to upload this sooner, sorry to make you guys wait but i had my finals and had to turn in a bunch of final projects so much stuff going on but here it is. 
> 
> ALSO GUYS!!!! GALS!!!! AND NON-BINARY PALS!!!!! WE ARE GETTING A SEASON FOUR!!!!
> 
> NO MORE #SAVEODAAT, NOW IT'S #MOREODAAT. 
> 
> THE MIRACLE HAPPENED, i couldn't be happier.
> 
> Also i guess slight spoilers warnings for wicked and the shut up and dance episode from season 3 of black mirror.

Since Alex is officially ungrounded, Elena has decided that she is going to take him on his word and they should watch the Franco Escamilla special with Syd and Tyler. So Tyler and him took the bus and went to the apartment right after class while Elena would go to pick up Syd.

The problem is that they are taking too long and his abuelita is already taking out a photo album to show Tyler.

He lets out a sigh of relief when it’s not more baby pictures.

“Tyler, come over here so that you can see how papito is going to get even more handsome in a few years” she says patting the seat next to her, he should be embarrassed but he actually loves when his abuelita spills her genuine love disproportionately on him and Tyler looks genuinely excited to see the pictures of his abuelita with his abuelito.  
She starts to tell him the story of how she meet him at the dancefloor, Alex has the basics memorised by now, it happened in Cuba in the year 1958, she had borrowed her sister’s marucci’s red dress and she snuck into the havana club, his abuelito introduced himself and it was love at first sight, you could feel the passion and how in love they were, their first date was like-

“Two hearts parched in the dessert quenching forever their thirst for amor” his abuelita says with nostalgic sigh, they look at each and Alex can tell that they are both thinking about their one and only date, he doesn’t know if they would describe it like that but Tyler still scoops his hand on his “sure, we still have a lot of dates now but there is nothing like the first date, is there?”

Tyler doesn’t look weirded out when his abuelita talks about how she still goes on dates with his abuelito, he actually says that he thinks that it's romantic and adorable.Eventually his abuelita leaves them, saying that they probably want to have a little bit of privacy but she is still behind the curtain so that's not much privacy, she also left the photo album there so that she would have an excuse to come back later.

“He was really handsome” Tyler said still looking at the picture, Alex was ready to make a joke about how he should stop thirsting over his abuelito but then he looks at the picture and back to Alex’s face as he says “You look just like him,you two have the same jawline, it’s amazing”

Alex smiles, he knows that he looks a lot like his abuelito but it’s still nice to hear it even if he never got to meet him,he really wished he did, he knows that he was an amazing guy and maybe they would have a lot in common but since he can’t, it’s nice to know that sometimes when he looks at the picture and back in the mirror, he can see bits and pieces of him there.

He wonders if Tyler feels the same way about his parents when he looks at the pictures of them and then back at himself in the mirror, if he find bits and pieces of them in his freckles, strong jaw and cheekbones.

“You are staring” Tyler tells him as he brushes his own hair away from his face “ugh, i need a haircut”

“No, i like it like this” he says, tangling his fingers in Tyler's hair.

“Oh so just because you like it i have to deal with it blocking my vision for the rest of my life” he says and chuckles when Alex nods “fine but if i end up with a mullet that’s on you”

“I think you could pull it off” he says, Tyler start to shake his head but before he says anything, Alex moves forward smoothly kissing him lightly, his fingers trailing across Tyler's hair and then kisses the tip of his nose.

“Alright” Tyler responds nodding, his face light red “I’ll keep it if you continue making these really compelling arguments”.

He wanted to lean in to kiss him again but the door open up, Elena and Syd are finally there and the first thing Elena says is “Alex, you know i’m happy for you but if you two start make out during the special, i’m going to have to kill you”.

“Oh so i have to chaperone you horny nerds for a whole afternoon but-” he said as he helped her with the popcorn she had bought.

“Well, that’s mom’s fault and yours for doing drugs”

“Doing drugs-”

“Hey Tyler, nice to see you again” Syd interrupted their discussion as they sit down in the couch next tohim, that’s when Alex noticed that Syd was wearing the shirt that Tyler got them from New York.

“Nice to see you too and i’m glad you liked the shirt”

“Yeah, i was going to ask you at what store did you get it from because some peeps-”

“I cannot believe you guys are still saying peeps after you heard my mom say it once”

“it’s catchy” Syd said as they got right into the topic “the peeps from the feminist gamers from echo park want some shirts”

“Oh, i don’t really remember the name of the store but my brother knows Will, he is the guy who makes them” Tyler said like he was trying to remember information "he is a friend  
from college".

“I can’t wait to go to college and have cool friends who make gay t-shirts” Elena said starting the TV.

“Jeremy says that is the best part of college” he said before little out a huff of laughter and adding “that and being able to flirt with people for discounts”

“He flirted with people for discounts?” Elena asks shocked a bit part of Alex wanted to ask and it worked? because he just couldn’t picture Jeremy who has two facial expressions being able to make anyone swoon like that.

“He still does, that’s why he gets to eat donuts everyday”

“He eats donuts everyday?” Syd said shocked, Tyler nodded “wow, being an adult is wild”

They accommodate in different sides of the couch and start the special, they had a good time even, Tyler and Syd seem to understand almost everything from the subtitles, every once in a while Tyler turns to look at him to ask what each word means, at one point he whispers what “mojoncio” means into his boyfriend’s ear and Elena stopped the special twice to explain why two of those jokes were misogynistic.

After that they watch Black Mirror, Elena wants to watch San Junipero again but when Syd admits that is the only episode that they have ever watched, Tyler convinces them that they should watch “shut up and dance”, Alex hasn’t seen it either so they agree.

The episode is pretty fucked up but pretty entertaining and he is hyper aware that Tyler who is tucked under his arm, is not really looking at the tv screen but at his reactions, sometimes he looks at Elena and Syd but his gaze always go back to him but when Alex turns to look at him, Tyler feeds him popcorn and tells him to look back.

He almost rolls his eyes but as the episode gets more and more insane and intense, he doesn’t even look back even if Tyler keeps on feeding him popcorn every once in a while. At one point one plot twist is too big and he turns to Tyler who is frowning at his phone screen before looking up at him, then at the tv,nods as if saying “yeah, some fucked up shit” and he curls up closer to him.

At the end they all scream when the final huge twist is revealed, Elena is stuck in shock, Syd is talking about how everything makes SO MUCH sense when you think about it and Alex has to take a second to understand what the fuck did he just watched.

When Tyler asks “So did you guys liked it?” with fake innocence and they all start to yell at him, his mami arrives at that exact moment looking incredibly confused, he almost convinces them to watch the episode again with his mami and maybe his abuelita but he can only take that episode once.

Hi abuelita asks Syd and Tyler,if they are going to stay for dinner, she is going to make tamales, they both say “yes”, after that Elena and Syd stand up from the couch but Alex and Tyler decide to stay there and watch Rick and morty, the episode about interdimensional cable because in comparison to what they just watch this is easy and relaxing.

Tyler is warm and close to him when Alex rest his head on top of his and honestly feels like his life has never been better.

****

This sucked.

This really REALLY sucked!!!

Mr.White decided that they were going to stay in his class a little longer so the whole team was late to practice and when you are late to practice you have to stay forty minutes after class to run and usually he would be able to handle it but today practice was brutal.

Alex has started to feel a dull ache in his knees, his hair is plastered to his face by his sweat and he doesn’t want to be dramatic but he is sure that his lungs are about to give up.  
He stops for a second and bents over with his hands on his knees breathing hard and he is considering to give up and throw himself into the ground but he feels someone was resting his hand on his back, he turn to the side to see Hugo had also come to an slow stop, bending over to rest his hands on his knees as well until they both heard the whistle meaning “go back to running”.

“Come on" Hugo wheezed forcing his feet to move again, he could see that his legs were also shaking like they were threatening to give out.

“It could be worse” Cameron said passing them by, his face red and sweat covered to “we could be doing squats or jumping jacks”

“I think i tore my ligaments!” Finn screamed as he rushed back to the other side.

Alex was running to the opposite side bending forward to touch the ground when he heard the whistle again and turned back to look at Ms. Valdez, her rose a brow slowly before her hand snapped up, pointing at the exit meaning that they were done.

“Oh gracias a dios!” he said before letting himself fall against the grass, Hugo walked towards him, he thought that he was going to offer him a hand and help him to stand up but instead he fell next to him.

Cameron was already running towards the showers and pushing anyone that would get on his way, Finn walked behind him looking like he was about to pass out.

He tried to stand up but decided that it was too much work and leaned his head back into the grass.

"Damn i should have hit the showers, i have a date with Camila today after school" he said as he sat down and smell his armpits before making a face and trying to stand up only to sit down on the grass again "or maybe i should cancel"

"If you want to cancel, you still have to walk towards your phone" he said pointing at his bag in the bleachers.

"I'll just die then" he exclaimed turning around to look at his bag again "so close yet so far"

That's when they heard whats sup danger playing and they both knew that was Hugo's ringtone, he groaned but eventually stood up to get it, he could hear him answering the phone by saying "hola como esta la persona más hermosa en el mundo?"

Alex couldn't hear her answer but he didn't need to, he already knew the answer "i don't know, how are you doing".

"not so good, listen i didn't have a chance to shower so-" he hears her answer before finishing the sentence and laughs "alright, we'll see you there".

“What did she said?”

“That she just came out of volleyball practice so she doesn’t smell great either” he said laughingly “and to just put on some deodorant and call it a day"

"aw, you know what they say couples that smell together stay together" Alex snorts before asking "What are you two lovebirds doing for your date?"

"We are going for Ice cream and then to buy clothes and a new leash for the baby" Hugo said as he walks towards him holding their bags.

Last year Hugo and Camila found a lost dog after coming out of the movie theater, he was hurt so they decided to take him to the vet, after looking for his owner for a month they decided to keep it and decided to name him Benito even if Alex thinks they should have just named the dog "baby" because that's what they are always calling him anyway. Benito lives with Camila because Hugo's mom doesn't like dogs and Hugo's dad already has one named Akira, a pitbull who is very jealous but they take care of him together, they bathe him, go buy him food, clothes and they even celebrate his birthday/anniversary of the day they found him and before you ask yeah, they bake a cake for him.

"My girlfriend says that she is waiting for us outside with your boyfriend" Hugo says giving him his bag, Alex smiles to himself.

Tyler waited for him.

Crap, Tyler waited for him and he looks like shit.

And must smell like it too.

"Do you think that it's too late to hit the showers?" he asks only for Hugo to laugh.

"Yes it is, all of the hot water is probably cold by now" he said looking at boys who were already leaving the bathroom and Alex groaned “also i offered not to shower in solidarity with you so if i smell like shit, you have to do it too”.

“alright” he said but he didn’t stand up yet, his body still hurt.

“Besides remember when you accidentally ate a tuna sandwich and you threw up on Tyler’s shoes or how about that one time when we went to visit you and you had the flu, he literally helped you to blow your nose after you almost sneezed on him-"

"what's the point of this trip down memory lane?” Alex asks cringing.

"My point is" he said he rose his hands up as a sign of innocence "that Tyler has seen worse and he still liked you through all of that so i don't think that you smelling a little off is going to change that"

Alex almost scoffed, shaking his head before an idea appeared in his head "How did you know that Tyler liked me before we started dating?"  
Was it that obvious? Was Alex that oblivious? Did everyone knew but him?

"Do you think we should wait for Cameron and Finn or we should just walk off?" he responds like if Alex hadn't asked any question, he raised his eyebrow so that Hugo would know that he is not going to drop this and Hugo starts talking for real this time "i always thought maybe he did but i wasn’t sure, it was confusing i mean he used to do things like convince Chloe to go out with you-"

"What?" he exclaimed confused "when?"

"The night of the party" he said nodding equally confused like he couldn't believe Alex didn't know that.

"You mean the night we kissed?" he asks still not being able to process what he just said,he felt even more lost when Hugo nodded "like before or-"

"Oh, before truth or dare" Hugo clarified awkwardly "you guys haven't talked about that night?"

"No, not really" Alex scanning for a conversation about that night, the last time it was mentioned was when Alex apologized for being a dick after that week "why? What happened?"

"Not much" Hugo said as he write something on his phone and then turned around to see that Finn and Cameron are already out of the bathroom, they are far away but they can tell that Finn is making fun of Cameron’s wet hair telling him that it makes him look like if he had the old bieber haircut.

If looks could kill then Finn would be dead by now.

Alex wanted to ask what “not much” meant before deciding that maybe he should ask Tyler about it later, he has also decided not to drink the rest of the water and instead throw it on his face and then cleaned with a towel to at least look half decent and sprays his underarms with axe body spray even if he has been thinking about changing it since his mami told him that it was actually awful but it’s better than his natural odor right now.

After shuffling his feet for a few seconds to start walking to where they were waiting for them, his legs still hurt and when Hugo tells him that they are waiting for them at the bus stop, he almost thinks that he might cry, Finn’s chauffeur is outside already so he just leaves then and there.

He honestly regrets not asking for a lift to the bjs stop where Tyler is but it's too late so they keep walking when he sees his bus pass them by meaning that he is going to have to wait at least thirty minutes for the next one to come and he really REALLY wants to go home, take a shower and lay on his bed.

When they get to the bus stop, his eyes quickly looked for Tyler but he couldn’t find him, instead he saw Camila talking to Michelle, he can see from the corner of his eye that Cameron peered up at her through his wet bangs as he desperately tries to get it out of his trying to make his hair like it usually does but for that to happen he needs his hair gel.  
That’s when he sees Tyler crossing the street towards the girls, he is holding a yellow plastic bag, he relaxed Tyler had just go to buy something, when he sees him, he smiles brilliantly and waves.

Camila turns to look at them with a bubbling smile, well at Hugo specifically, her hair was gathered in a high ponytail instead of having her long black hair loose.

"Hey stranger" Hugo started to run towards her and he doesn’t know how he has the strength to do that when Alex is five minutes away from limping.

“There you are” she is beaming as she also runs towards him, when they get to each other, she cranes to give him kisses on the cheek, then Hugo leans down to kiss her on the cheek, Alex won’t judge them because maybe cheek smooches is their thing.

He does however judge them when they start kissing their life away in front of them.

“Hey” Alex slides on the seat next to Tyler as Michelle and Cameron smile awkwardly at each other, he is about to tell Tyler a joke about it until he takes out a cold bottle of water from the bag and his first instinct is to pull Tyler in for a kiss hoping that communicates “Oh thank god, i love you” without saying it.

He doesn’t realize what he just thought until half of his bottle is gone and Tyler’s attention is now on Cameron as he said “don’t worry, dude, i also got you covered” and passed him another cold bottle of water.

“You are a god amongst men, Tyler” he said before he started to drink.

“How was rehearsal?” Hugo turned towards them with his arm around Camila, he mouthed a thank you to Tyler when he also gave him a bottle.

“Oh, it was nice” Michelle said leaning against the bus stop “just trying to make sure everything it’s okay for saturday, i’m a little nervous”.

“Oh, you have nothing to worry about, i bet you are going to be an amazing Galinda” Cameron said quickly but then he had this look like he felt that he had come too strong but Michelle smiled and he visibly relaxed.

“Thank you” She said looking a little flustered and tucking her hair behind her ear “hey, uhm-are you getting picked up today?”

Now all their eyes are on Cameron like if they were playing a weird game of pingpong.

“No, i was going to take the bus-”.

“Oh-” she said sounding disappointed.

“But i have no hurry to get home” he says so fast that it sounds like it was all one word.

“Oh!” she said smiling before looking down at her hands “Do you think that you can walk me home? It’s okay if you-”

“Yeah, i would love to” Cameron said fixing his backpack “we can finish our theories about how Tony Stark is still alive in Endgame”

Alex doesn’t have the heart to tell them that he is pretty sure that as much as he loves Tony, the guy is dead and he is going to stay dead, they smile at each other before saying goodbye to all of them and walking away, when they are far away enough Camila looks at Tyler with conspiratory smile.

“Up top, Miller” she says as she holds out her hand for a high five and Tyler slaps it.

When they see their confused expressions,they explain that they basically distracted Michelle so that they would run into each other, they both looked so extremely proud that their plan had worked. After a little the bus that was going to take Hugo and Camilla arrived, they said goodbye as they got on the bus,Alex waves back before finishing the bottle and leaning against Tyler and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Sorry, I'm so tired" he said but when he was about to move his head, Tyler absenmiently settle his head on top of his,the weather was extremely hot and he usually would pull away but he doesn't have the strength, he just wants to stay like that.

"Nah, it's cool" he said sounding amused "you actually look really cute like this"

"Stop bullying me, I'm too tired to respond" he said with his eyes closed "also don't let me fall asleep, otherwise i won't wake up when the bus arrives".

"Oh, it's okay, the bus will arrive soon" he said as Alex continue to rest all of his body weight on him,trying to get more comfortable.

"I'm going to put my head on your lap, okay?"

"I thought you were trying not sleep" he snort but still gives Alex enough space so that he could rest his head.

"Hush" he said putting his head on his lap and feeling for a second that he was about to doze off.

"ALEX!" he heard someone scream, it wasn't Tyler, the voice was different but still familiar enough to lift his head up incredibly quickly.

CRAP.

"Papi?" he asked hoping (praying) to see someone else and that he was just confused but then he saw him, he was there in his car waving at them awkwardly, he stared at the red light and damned it to hell.

"Hey, i was in the neighborhood and asked your mami if i could come pick you and Elena up but she said that you guys were already out" he said confused as his eyes keep darting at Tyler who is awkwardly sitting there with his cellphone in his hand, still unsure of what to do.

“The whole team got detention because we were late to baseball” he explained and his dad started to nod like he understood, he is looking at Tyler like he is expecting him to introduce himself.

Alex has to hold himself back from yelling “You’ve met him! That day at the recital! And i’m sure you saw him at Elena’s quinces!” because it feels a little unfair, it was a long time ago and his papi probably doesn’t remember meeting his friends with all the drama that happened that day.

Tyler stands up and walks towards his papi’s car, ready to introduce himself but he looks so nervous that Alex decides to take it from there.

“this is my friend Tyler” He says pointing at Tyler who shakes his hand through the window “And Tyler, this is my dad”.

“Nice to meet you sir” Tyler straightened his back and smiled politely.

“Nice to meet you too, Tyler” his papi said as he let go off his hand “hey since i’m going to be taking Alex home, do you want me to give you a drive home?”

Alex almost wants to say that his papi hasn’t asked him if he wanted to go with him, he just assumed he did but when Tyler turns to look at him with this “I don’t know what the fuck to do, HELP!” expression, he decides that it’s not the moment for him to get into a discussion with his dad so he just nods and they go for their bags before the light changes.

He sits in the front and Tyler is sitting in the back instead of sitting next to each, it’s not like he couldn’t sit next to him but he was scared that his papi might notice and he hates being this paranoid, it reminds him to those first weeks in which he wouldn’t even sit next to Tyler in front of people because he was scared that god forbid someone might notice, someone might see.

Tyler doesn’t look bothered by that but he does have a tight lipped smile as he explains to his papi where he lives, he must look normal to his papi but Alex can tell that he is uncomfortable.

“So how was practice?” his papi asks him trying to make conversation. that’s something him and Alex have in common, they both hate the silence.

“Brutal” he admits looking down at his legs, he has no idea how he is going to stand up tomorrow “we have a big game coming up so Mrs. Valdez is being extra strict but she is cool, she knows what she is doing”

“Well, Tyler seems to be holding up better than you” his papi said looking back for a second.

"that’s probably because I don’t play baseball” Tyler said like if he was declining an offer “i’m in the theater club”

“Oh, did you guys also got detention?” His papi asks him and Alex feels a little bit of judgement there but he doesn't know why exactly.

“No,i was staying for a final costume fitting today so we had to stay over time” he responded smiling shuffling his hands.

“Well, baseball is not for everyone” his papi responds graciously.

“Tyler does know a lot about baseball and he is great at strategizing, he always comes up with great suggestions” Alex says as they lock eyes in the rearview mirror, he can see a genuine smile on Tyler's face and Alex feels like he just hit jackpot.

“I do like it and i know the game but i’m really bad at sports in general” Tyler said like if he was trying to find common ground to keep the conversation going.

“Oh you can’t be that bad-”

“One time my sister Jill tried to teach me how to play softball and i was so bad at it, i hit myself in the face with the ball” Tyler says, Alex stifles a laugh and it’s honestly disappointed that he can’t say well, it probably happened because you really like balls.

“How does that even happen?” his papi asks laughing.

“I was THAT bad” Tyler chuckles before adding “but honestly everyone in my family sucks at sports except for my sister and i guess maybe dad because he taught her”

“He never taught you?” he asks confused, he wants to give his dad a sign to cut it but decides not to because Tyler always manages to speak about his parents and change the subject incredibly quickly.

“No but it’s honestly not his fault, he would have needed a ouija board to do it” Tyler says jokingly, Alex laughs again but his papi has this look of slight horror like he couldn’t believe what Tyler had just said.

“I’m really sorry to hear that” his papi says actually turning to look at him.

“It’s okay they died when i was young, i-”

“They?” he asks horrified “Both of them?”

“Yeah, there was a car accident with a drunk driver” he explained like he usually does, that’s what he always says, nothing more or less, closely followed by him explaining that he was lucky because his siblings were old enough to take care of him and that he is okay but just when he is about to open his mouth again, his papi asks harshly and accusatory 

“You are not joking, are you? Because if you are, it's some-”

“DAD!” he said in outrage, his papi turn to look at him apologetically like he wanted to explain why he thought that it would have been a joke but couldn’t because Tyler was right there.

“It’s okay, i do make bad jokes so it’s understandable” Tyler says attempting to calm him down but Alex looks at him in the rearview mirror, he also looks uncomfortable by outburst.

After a moment of silence,his papi said “I’m really sorry for your loss”

Alex almost groans because that's not the thing that he should be apologizing for but Tyler shakes his head dismissively as if to say "it's fine" and Alex can't just go "NO, IT'S NOT FUCKING FINE” because he doesn’t want to argue with his dad in front of Tyler and make him feel even more uncomfortable that he already looks.

“It’s really okay, sir, i was three when it happened so i don’t remember much and my siblings were all old enough to take care of me so it’s fine” he said calmly.

“I’m happy to hear that” he responded as he kept on driving without looking back, Alex looked at the rear view mirror again but Tyler wasn't looking back at him, he was looking at the window but then his papi talked again, Alex is scared of what he is going to say until he hears "and Alex is really lucky to have strong friends like you".

Well, that's true. Alex is lucky to have him.

“I am lucky to have him” Alex says without missing a beat, at the exact same time Tyler goes “i’m also lucky to have him”.

Their eyes catch one another at the rear view mirror again and they shared a private smile before his papi asked “i think we are close to your house, what's the address again?”

“Keep going until you see a red house, it’s the only one, you can’t miss it” Alex responded, he could already see Tyler’s garden in the distance,his papi noticed it as well.

“WOW, that’s nice place” he said but his tone says otherwise but he won't call him out on that, mostly because he can't tell if Tyler noticed or not, he really hopes that it passed him by.

When they get there, Jill and Sarah are outside but they are busy working in the garden so they don't notice them for a few seconds, when Jill passes the hose to Sarah, they share a short kiss and Alex is suddenly scared to look back and see his papi's face.

"you live with your…"

"With my sister Jill and her girlfriend Sarah" he said simply but not like he usually does, there is no extra information, Tyler never adds:my brother lives with his wife and kid a few blocks away and my brother Jeremy lives in new york.

And when Alex turns to look at them, there is a reason for that.

Because his dad has turned around and now he is giving Tyler a look and no, it's not longer a "I'm so sad your parents are dead" look, it's a "i'm so sorry that you are being raised by these people".

And there is a little bit of something else, he is looking at them the same way that lady at the movie theater looked at him and Tyler months ago.

He sees Tyler's face go from hurt to annoyed to angry in a matter of seconds, he can tell that how mad he is by the way he clenches his jaw but he forces a natural smile so fast is borderline scary and impressive at the same time so of course his papi doesn’t think anything is wrong but Alex can, he knows Tyler is mad and it’s a different kind of mad, it’s not quiet mad, i’m “i’m not angry just disappointed” mad or in that cool way he was mad at kevin.

No, he is mad enough that his lungs feel like and his throat is closing up but he is hiding it and keeping it in, the worst part is that he is really good at it, he almost doesn’t blame his papi for not noticing that he did something wrong.

“Thank you for driving me home, Mr.Alvarez” he says well mannered as he grabs onto the strap of his bag like if it was his own stress ball “See you tomorrow, Alex”.

He can see Jill walking towards them confused because she doesn’t recognize the car that brought her brother home but Tyler runs and pulls her into a crushing hug before she even gets to the sidewalk, the car starts and just like that they are gone.

“Hey do you want to go for ice cream before i take you home?” his papi asks him like if nothing had just happened.

“No, my body is sore, i just want to go home, take a shower and lay down” he said starting to realize that he didn’t even have the chance to have a goodbye kiss “also don’t think that you are off the hook”

“What?” his papi asks confused “i didn’t say anything”

“You didn’t have to, i noticed, HELL, he noticed how you looked at his sister and he was pissed-”

“I don’t think he was pissed” his papi was quick to say and all Alex can think is Tyler clenching his jaw.

“HE WAS! he is just really polite-”

“I don’t think he was, he knows his situation it’s sad, i mean being raised like that-”

“Tyler is fine! And you don’t even know Jill!-”

“I’m not saying it because of that!-”

“If you are worried about someone missing a father figure then-” he says and stops himself abruptly because he knows what is about to say that his papi should worry about Elena, his own daughter, not Tyler who he barely knew but maybe that’s too much, he can tell by the way his papi is looking at him that he already knew what he was going to say, they stare at each other until other drivers starts loudly complaining so his papi keeps on driving.

Alex had never really understood the meaning of “you could cut the tension with a knife” until that moment. He doesn’t know if he should apologize or not, all he wanted to do was to jump out of the car and walk home.

“I honestly don’t know what’s going on with you sometimes,it’s like one minute we are okay and the next one we are not” his papi says shaking his head “like why did you have to invite HIM over to dinner?”

Here we go again.

“Because i wanted him there” he says simply because it’s true and also because it’s nicer than just flat out saying that it’s because he didn’t want to be alone with Elena and his papi.

His papi scoffs and shakes his head again before saying “Did your mom told you what we talked about?”

Alex shook his head, his mami hadn’t mention anything but he was more than happy to change the subject, he knew that if they started to talk about Schneider, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“About how Schneider is not going to be hanging out with you and your sister anymore”

Instead of saying “what? why?” a laugh comes out of his mouth quickly followed by a giant and strong “No” like his mind had completely rejected the idea of not hanging out with Schneider or that his mami would have agreed to it, they had a movie marathon on sunday, what the hell was he talking about?

“Alex, he is drinking again-”

“No, he is not” Alex said defensively “alright, he is going to AA and he is going to get better, he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol-”

“I can’t have him endangering you or your sister-”

“Listen, i know that me finding him was less than ideal but-”

“WHAT?” his papi said as they stop in a red light. DAMMIT. “see this is exactly what i’m talking about-”

“I can't believe that you out of everyone is the one telling me this, you should be the one who understand his situation better than anyone, If we are giving you another chance then why shouldn't we give Schneider another chance?"

"because I am your father and he is your landlord-"

"He is not just the landlord” he says and he doesn’t tell his papi about how just the landlord wouldn’t go to every single one of his baseball games or travel with him out of town, or know every single one of his favorite dishes and how he never misses his recitals because he already knows that “he is part of our family and he needs us right now".  
His papi and him share a look and Alex can tell that he wants to say “i needed you too” and Alex is really glad he doesn’t because he might answer “yeah but you pushed us all away”.

They wait for the light to go back to green and drive home.

*****

The next day, it’s the first time in a long time he is worried about seeing Tyler, he is not sure what to tell him about his papi and what happened yesterday, he doesn’t know if he should just stay quiet or apologize on his dad's behalf, he doesn't know if Tyler is still mad but all those thoughts leave his mind when he sees him wearing his old glasses, the ones that have thick black frames that make his eyes look even bigger than they already are.

He hadn’t wear them in a while, Alex doesn’t even get to ask the question because Tyler turns around looking slightly annoyed, he wrinkles his nose and makes this little frown that he finds adorable as he starts “My contacts literally fell down the toilet this morning-”.

Tyler doesn’t really finishes his sentence because Alex moves to kiss him right away and when he pulls away, he grabs Tyler’s hand and presses a kiss into it “I like it, pretty throwback thursday”

“It’s wednesday, you dummy” he says with his face flooded with color as they turn to their friends.

“Alex, i’m so glad you are here, your boyfriend and Cameron are plotting a murder in the middle of our school's parking lot, right in front of Jesus” Finn said gesturing to the jesus statue that was outside.

“We are only going to kill Tom King if he makes batman kill, i swear that if he does that then i'm going to rip out his lungs and make him eat them” Cameron said angrily with a lot of hands gesture, Tyler nodded making his glasses move slightly.

“What are you two going to do?” Finn asked with a lifted eyebrow leaning against a wall next to a very amused Hugo “attack him with your old lightsaber?”

“Oh, i will do MORE than that” Cameron insisted staring intensely at his phone.

“It hasn’t even come out yet” Hugo said adds before shaking his head and laughing.

“I’ll honestly gutt Tom King for five dollars and corn chip but sure let’s hope that nonsense comes out before DCC so we know EXACTLY what we are gutting him for” Tyler says casually.

“When you say “we” you better mean you and Cameron” Finn says slightly horrified “i’m not going to prison for a bad comic book”

“Legally speaking,we are all accomplices by knowing about it” Alex said tilting his head before shrugging.

“by legally speaking he means that he heard it once on law and order” Tyler said and Alex playfully nudged him.

“Not that i don’t want to talk about legal technicalities but i just remember that, my dad is making samples of wedding cakes after school and they wanted to know if you guys can give us your unbiased opinion”.

They were all quick to say “You had me at cake” in a rather explosive way, Tyler nods so fast and hard that his glasses almost fall off his face, he adjusts them before the bell rings.

*****

They are about to get to the house and Isaac is already opening the door for them but before they even make it to the porch, Akira runs out of the door at full velocity towards Hugo,he opens his arms to receive her but she basically knocks him over and he falls on the grass but he doesn’t complain, all he does is scratch the back of her ears affectionately and Isaac runs to gently shove her out of the way.

“Hi kids, come on in” Isaac says laughingly as he help Hugo stand up.

“Hey Mr.Allen” they all said in unison.

“How was school?” he asks them as gestures for them to walk inside.

“It was fine but practice was brutal” Hugo said, Isaac gave all of them a sympathetic smile before giving Hugo a pat in the back “I still have to ask what got you disqualifed as an unbiased opinion?”

“i told your dad “you know that whatever you do i like” and suddenly my carrot cake was GONE” he said shaking his head, Hugo cracks up laughing immediately “and you?”

“I kept on making more excuses to eat different cakes” he admits shaking his head.

“Now you see that’s what i should have done”

“So what i’m hearing is that carrot cake is an option” Finn says sounding more than a little excited.

Isaac tells them to wait in the dining room while he helps Samuel with the cakes. They sit on the nice wooden table to wait as they talk and Alex has been there thousands of times but he starts to realize how different Hugo’s dad house is from his mom’s house, Alex has vague memory from back when they were still together and remembers the clashing aesthetics of the house but now Samuel’s place has bare and rustic decor with comfortable leather couches, Alex knows because he has fallen asleep too many times there, meanwhile Isidore’s house has a polished and vintage decor to it, the couches aren’t comfortable but the rug that she has in the floor is in the perfect position to do homework, he knows because he has done it thousands of times.

Samuel walks out of the kitchen with a tray of a bunch of pieces of cake,he is wearing an apron and he gives Hugo a kiss on the cheek but when he tries to take a bite of the lemon cake, his dad shoos him away, he turns to give Isaac an exasperated look as if he was asking him “can you believe this?” and Isaac nods as if saying “i know right” but Samuel ignores them as he proceeds to list the cakes and different ingredients and it takes all of Alex’s will not to jump on that chocolate cake with strawberries filling.

They first try the lemon cake and it’s good, he likes it but sound Finn makes when he tastes it, it’s just not human, Hugo sneers before saying “stop bragging”, His dad does assure him that he made him dulce de leche as a consolation prize and Hugo stands up so fast he almost trips and Isaac laughs before saying that he’ll go with him to make sure he is okay even if it’s probably doing to also get a taste of the dulce de leche before they go, he can see them smiling at each other all big and genuine as Isaac leaves the room,Hugo rolls his eyes but he can see him smiling fondly, It’s weird to think that things weren’t always like this, he remembers when they first meet Isaac at Hugo’s birthday, he could tell that things were a little awkward, he had only been dating Hugo’s dad for three months at that point and he hadn’t won Hugo over yet but Alex could tell that he had accepted him when he said when he ask them not to call him by his first name but to call him “Mr.Allen” because it would make him feel awkward,Hugo always felt weird about the idea of anyone calling his parents by their first name.

Alex looks away before they walk to the kitchen and when he does Tyler catches his eye and smiles before showing him that he saved hima bite of the tres leches cake and Alex’s first thought is “I love you”.

He doesn’t say it mostly because he is in the middle of eating and there is a big chance he might choke or not say it back, also Finn would never let him live that down even if right now he is too busy fighting Cameron for the last bite of White Chocolate with Raspberry, Samuel is shaking his head but he looks pleased as he ends up cutting the last part of that cake in two perfect halves as he said “Perfectly balanced, as all things should be”.

They actually bursts into laughter when he says that, mostly because it was unexpected, he can hear Hugo yelling from the kitchen about how they shouldn’t encourage him or his dad jokes because then he’ll be quoting more memes through the night but honestly that’s on Hugo for introducing his dad to them, his mami still looks at him and Elena weird when they mention “wlw/mlm solidarity”.

They end up voting and decide for the chocolate cake with strawberry filling and Samuel thanks them for their help before sending them to Hugo’s room to do their homework, which Finn is quick to say that it makes him feel used but he stands up and goes to Hugo’s bedroom to study, he still has to finish the chapter six of the great gatsby and answer the questions for his english class tomorrow and unlike Percy Jackson, Alex doesn’t really care about this book, he is bored out of his mind.

“what the fuck does he mean when he says a searing kiss?” he says out loud mostly to himself.

“like very hot but like it hurts” Finn says laying in the floor and copying Cameron’s homework, he doesn’t seem to care but maybe that’s because he hasn’t noticed, he is too busy looking at his phone laughing, Alex would go on a limb and say that he is texting Michelle.

“I don’t get why you didn’t ask Elena to help you with it, she has probably read it before” Hugo said lying on his stomach like a child, one of his hands and the other one cradling chin, both elbows on the bed as he continued with his math homework.

“Oh, i did but instead of helping me she went off on a rant about how F. Scott Fitzgerald plagiarized his wife’s work and used it in The Great Gatsby along with his other books and now i have no homework and a lot of unnecessary information”. said sitting cross legged on the floor.

“I’m surprised she didn’t mention how nick and gatsby were obviously in love” Tyler said as he flipped the page of his history book, he was sitting on the bay window next to Cameron.

“Wait! you’ve read it?” Alex said feeling hopeful.

“Yep” he said as he copied the question on his notebook “but i’m not doing your homework for you”

“Why not? You do it for Finn!”

“He literally charges me”

“Fine, i’ll bite, how much do you pay him?” Alex said grabbing his wallet from his backpack.

“Fifty bucks” Finn like it wasn’t a big deal and for him, it probably wasn’t.

“Don’t i get a discount?” Alex said smiling and batting his eyelashes as he walks towards him and he can see that Tyler is trying not to look at him which means that he might say yes.

“YOU BETTER NOT!!I HAVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR THREE YEARS AND I HAVEN’T SEEN A DISCOUNT ONCE!” Finn said pointing at Tyler who turned to look at Cameron with a “can  
you believe this shit?” but he looked gleefully unaware as he continued texting.

“FINE! i won’t give him a discount! Jezz!” Tyler said slightly exasperated towards Finn who turns back to the notebook and then turned to Alex and pats the free space next to him 

“but i’ll help you with it”

“This is some bull” he says but still goes to grab his book and his notebook to sit next to him but before he does, he sees his cell phone vibrating and sees a message from his papi, he is asking him if he wants to go to the movies with him and Nicole.

Technically he can, it’s still early, he could finish reading and go with him but he thinks of getting picked up by his dad, he imagines his papi making small talk with Samuel until they get to what they have in common and he doesn’t think that they can spent that long talking how both of them have beards or how they are both latinos until they get to the fact that they are both divorced and getting married soon, that’s when Isaac appears and then his papi might look at Samuel and Isaac the same way he looked at Jill and Sarah, he has never seen them mad or sad and he hopes he never has to but in that moment he imagines their faces and even worse he imagines Hugo’s face.

He imagines his papi looking at Hugo after the last encounter they had and it’s not a nice case scenario.

“You are staring” Hugo says dropping his pencil and lifting an eyebrow “everything okay?”

“Yeah” he nods before taking the book and his notebook.

“My dad didn’t give you diabetes with all of that cake, right?” He asked jokingly

“Ha, hopefully no" he replied with snort as he texted his papi that he couldn’t because he had group project but he might be free tomorrow, he sits next to Alex who is staring at his screen intensely like he is waiting for a message to appear “everything okay?”

Tyler turns to look at him, still frowning but before he says anything else Cameron asks loudly

“Wait, who took my notebook? i swear it was right here”.

******

The next day, his mami lets him go to Tyler’s house since it’s Jill's free day from work so they are not going to be unsupervised so they can go, it has been a good day, he even showered in the school’s bathroom, now that Kevin has stopped being an extreme dick, he got a grade on his english homework and now he gets to hang out with his boyfriend by themselves and that makes it perfect.

When they walk in Jill is jumping putting on her sneakers.

“Hey” Jill said as she fixed her flannel “Listen Sarah took Butch to get a bath and she will pick her up when she comes back from her job,i have a last minute work emergency but i’ll be back soon”

“Is everything okay?” Tyler asks looking concerned.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it” she said putting her keys on her pocket and took out her wallet “i didn’t have a chance to cook so here order a pizza, eat without me, it’s fine”

“You sure that everything is fine” Tyler said stopping her holding her shoulders stopping her from getting out of the house “You promise?”

“yes, i promise” she said in what sounded like a baby voice, Tyler looked slightly annoyed by that but still brought his head down so that she could kiss his forehead, sometimes it was funny how short Jill was in comparison to her younger siblings, he let go of her shoulders and she insisted “i’ll be back as soon as i can but still eat without me, Alex, force feed him that pizza if you have to, you have my complete and total permission okay?”

“Okay, Jill” he said with an slight laugh as he held the twenty dollar bill.

“And no funny business” she said pointing at both of them before getting out of the house.

“Do you think we should order right now or wait because she said she’ll be-” Tyler starts but when Alex gives him a look, he says “Alright, I’m ordering that pizza right now”

They decide to wait on Tyler’s room and watch some episodes from Buzzfeed Unsolved, honestly he might be exaggerating but he seriously feels like he has missed Tyler’s house, he had almost forgotten that Tyler’s room is this exact shade of creamy yellow.

He tells Tyler that when they are in the middle of watching the video of la llorona,Tyler blinks slowly with an amused smile as he tells him that he is being dramatic, Alex quickly realizes that what he missed was spending time with Tyler outside of school.

When Tyler realizes that he is looking at him and not the video he turns to look at him questioningly and asks him “what?” like he is worried that there might be something in his face.

“Nothing” he says shaking his head, Tyler gives him a wary look but that disappears when he cups his face and proceeds to kiss his nose, his cheeks, his forehead and finally his lips.

Yeah, they couldn’t do that in school.

He missed it.

It’s their thing.

Tyler's breath is cool against his mouth, he pulls back and closes the laptop as he presses his lips briefly against Alex's chin before gently working Alex's mouth open with delicate presses of his lips.

As they keep on kissing and it makes Alex feel like he just win because it means that Tyler chose making out with him over Ryan Bergara so Alex Alvarez: 2 vs. Ryan Bergara:0.

Not that he is keeping score but HA! RYAN! YOU LOSE AGAIN!

He doesn't know if it is because it's been a long time since they were able to be alone together but it feels like things are different now.

Kissing is more frenzied and they have never kissed like this before-well they did kiss like this once but that was before Alex got grounded, even before they were boyfriends and he got a little too excited and accidentally bit Tyler’s tongue, he remembers freaking out about it, thinking that Tyler was never going to kiss him ever again but he had just laughed for few seconds before leaning in again and Alex kissed him this time more gently and apologetically.

It's different from what happened that time, Tyler has his hand on the side of his face, he is gently stroking it before sliding up to tangle at the base of his head and he is making these little noises, like satisfied sighs, or hums of approval against his lips that makes Alex feel weak in the knees and Alex is worried about his hands,they usually start on Tyler’s head but they start to wander around and he is worried of being a creep,of touching Tyler somewhere he might not like or even worse making him uncomfortable and him not saying anything.

He decides to let his hands settle on hips but when he squeezes them,Tyler takes it as a nonverbal request to scoot back, Alex keeps on kissing him as he backs across the mattress until Tyler’s back and head are propped against the pillows.

Alex pulls back for second and opens his eyes to see Tyler’s expression, his face is flushed, he has this soft smile and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable at all which relaxes him.  
Their lips meet again and feels Tyler put his arms around him and brings him closer. Alex lets his hand fall on his hips, his fingertips resting just below the edge of his shirt and he panics a little bit, he really shouldn't because his hands are usually always there but Tyler tucks his shirt in and puts on a belt, so there has never been a chance of his fingers brushing underneath but today there is no belt or tucking.

Alex thinks of pulling his hand away before Tyler notices what he is thinking about but when he is about to, Tyler moves one of his hands from Alex's neck to Alex's hand and gently guides it underneath his shirt, it wasn't just a "hey it's okay if you want to do this, I don't mind", it was a "I want you to do it".

So he does, he lets his hand wander across the curve of Tyler's ribs, it feels exploratory, experimental and familiar at the same time like he remembers touching Tyler’s ribs before but it was because they were twelve and went to the pool, he tapped at his ribs and made fun of how skinny he was and Tyler asked if he had his phone or anything important with him, when Alex said no, Tyler pushed him into the pool.

But he doesn't seem like he wants to push him away now, his arms are wrapped around his neck and Alex isn't making fun of how boney he is, because yeah Tyler doesn't have muscles, he never has and most likely never will but Alex doesn't care, he likes everything about Tyler from his skinny arms to his long legs to his big eyes to his messy hair and now to his ribs.

He is not sure how to say you like someone's ribs without sounding weird so he doesn't say anything, he just lets his hands touch Tyler's warm skin.

That's another thing he likes about Tyler, he is always warm, even when it's cold, even in that San valentine's day in the rain, there were parts of him that were still warm.

Warm has always been a good way to describe Tyler, all of him is warm.

They break apart momentarily to breath and he takes his hands out of under his shirt and rest he rests his chin on his chest and staring up at Tyler.

"hi" he says laughingly “comfortable?”

"yep, very" Alex responds grinning because he is. He is very comfortable like this and this feels so natural and so easy, it just feels right and he also notices how Tyler is gazing at him like he holds his entire world in his hands,He wonders if Tyler has looked at him like that before and he didn’t notice.

Like “before” before.

Before they got together before.

“What are you thinking about?” Tyler asks running his fingers through his hair.

“Just how much I like being with you" Alex responds honestly because technically he is and he doesn’t know how to ask Tyler about before, they don’t really talk about before except for Alex making jokes about it but the idea that he walked around without knowing that Tyler liked him or that this was even a possibility “Did you ever thought about this?”

"That you like being with me? i don’t know i hope you do, I mean we have been friends for years and we have been dating for months now-"

“No, i mean did you thought about us like this before?”

“You mean before we started dating?" Tyler keeps on running his fingers across his hair absenmiently and Alex takes his free hand and intertwined their fingers, he gives a squeeze. It takes her a moment but Tyler presses his hand tightly against his “i don’t know, to be honest i just tried not to think about it because most of the time i would just get to the conclusion that it was never going to happen so what’s the point of even thinking about it, right?”

This time he asks him “Is that why you asked Chloe to ask me out?”

“Oh, i honestly had sort of forgotten about that” he said lifting his head from the pillows as he explained, his dark brown eyes meeting his carefully “i wanted to go the bathroom and she was basically waiting in line, we started talking and i just told her that you were a nice guy and she’ll be missing out, it happened-”

“Before we kissed” he finishes his sentence, they were staring at each other and Alex is squeezing his hand starting to realize that he almost missed out on this, that there is probably an alternate reality in which he never discovered this and it sucks for that Alex “Did a lot happened after i left?”

“I discovered vodka with orange juice and turns out i’m a happy drunk” he said with a shaky laugh “god, i was terrified that you knew that i liked you”

“Did you ever thought about telling me?” Alex says lifting his head from Tyler’s chest and sees him shake his head “Really? You never thought you could tell me?”

“I mean i guess i thought about telling you a couple of times but i never really thought that we would end up actually dating and i was afraid that if i told you i was going to not just ruin our friendship but that i was also going to make things weird for the whole group and at the end of the day all i wanted was to be your friend”

“Really?” he asks wondering if he would have been able to be the same, he is not one of those guys who believe in the “friendzone” but he knows that unrequited love is a thing and he imagines that it hurts like a bitch so he doesn’t know if he could just moving like if nothing happened even if it hurted inside.

“Why not? i love being your friend and i didn’t want to lose you besides i kind of accepted that you were never going to like me like that, i never thought that you would ever feel the same way i did and what i thought that was going to happen was that you were going to get a girlfriend at one point during high school, i was going to be miserable and privately sulk until i got over you, then get a boyfriend when i’m college or something and we could stay as friends for the rest of our lives but then you liked me back” he explained as he rested his head on Tyler’s chest again and he drops his head on the pillows again and all he thinks for a second is "Now i love you" and he should say it, this seems like the right comment, it’s nice, they are comfortable, they are by themselves, it’s romantic, it’s sweet.

“i really fucking hate the idea of you dating some random college guy” Alex says and he is mad at himself for not saying it because he just probably missed the moment.

Tyler snorts shaking his head before saying “Alex, he is not real, he is imaginary, i was speaking of an hypothetical scenario-”

“Well, does he have a name in this hypothetical scenario?” he asks and Tyler half laughs at that “i bet he is an asshole and has a douchey name like chad, brock, guy, todd or something like that”

“Who names their son guy?” Tyler asks mildly horrified.

“people who want their kid to be terrible,” Alex says matter of factly and Tyler actually cackles which is always a win “anyway i’m really happy that he doesn’t exist”

“Me too” Tyler said still shaking with laughter.

“Also you could never lose me” Alex said reassuringly “not now, not ever, not even back then you wouldn’t have been able to get rid of me that easily.”

“I know, you are like a leech” Tyler said jokingly and Alex responded by gasping in fake dysmay, he wanted to give him a soft smack in the face but the moment his hand was near Tyler’s face, he just leaned in and kiss it.

“Ugh, i can’t stand how adorable you are, it’s so annoying” he said but he doesn't move his hand from Tyler’s face, he cups his face and traces his freckles.

“Oh you like it” he said chuckling.

“I do like you” he said hovering his face closer to Tyler’s, he looks up at him completely flushed and Alex gets an urge to make him fall over with laughter.

“Since i liked you for longer, i think i win, not that it’s a competition or anything”

“Well, I think i win because i-” he started to say but he doesn’t let him finish the sentence because he is already kissing him again.

When he lets go off his hands, Alex dives his hands into his sides, he digs his fingers under Tyler’s ribs but this time, he squeals and starts to properly laugh as they pull away.  
He had almost forgotten that he was ticklish.

Tyler starts to make half-hearted threats that include killing him and breaking up with him or breaking his arms and If he is honest this when Alex thinks he looks the most beautiful,all open and laughing.

“Wait,ow-” he let out a pained sound in between gasps for air “you are crushing me”.

Alex pulls his hands right away like if Tyler was made of hot iron, ready to apologize but then sees Tyler’s expression quickly change from pain into a flushed smug expression as he reaches for one of his pillow.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT” Alex shouts as Tyler smack with the pillow repeatedly and forcing him on his back.

He should be mad because Tyler is trying to smother him with a pillow and they are rolling sideways so they could easily fall off the bed but he can’t stop laughing,eventually he manages to wrestle the pillow away from him, tossing it across the room.

He is able to lock his fingers around the wrists and holds them tightly but Tyler is not a bit worried he is still laughing and almost out of breath.

“You scared me, i thought i hurt you” he said releasing his hands because for a second he was actually worried that he had hurt Tyler somehow.

"Oh, you could never hurt me, you dummy” Tyler says matter of factly like that’s literally not in Alex’s DNA and he is physically unable to “i’m sorry if i scared you”

Alex looks at him and he has no right looking so cute right now but he does, he is about to say that it’s fine when Tyler says all at once like it’s just one sentence“Lo siento. Perdoname, por favor” and Alex feels like his chest is going to pop “pretty please, i don’t know any other way to sorry in spanish”

“You’re so stupid. I like you too much.” Alex says as they place their hands back together and Tyler leans in to kiss him.

That’s when his cell phone rings and he frowns because his mami said that she was going to come over later when she came back with Schneider from A.A. he is ready to tell her that is too early and that the pizza hasn’t even arrived yet but that would involve admitting that Jill is not home when he clearly said that she would be.

He doesn’t know what to do when he realizes that it’s not her, It’s his papi.

Tyler sees the name and doesn’t say anything,he just gives him the most reassuring smile in the world and leaves to give him some privacy.

Alex actually wished he stayed and held his hand instead.

He answers the phone anyway as he says “hey papi”.

“hey Alex,are you busy today? i was thinking that maybe i could go and pick you and your sister out to go to the movies or something like that?” he asks awkwardly, Alex can’t blame him, after all it must be awkward for your kids to keep on turning you down for three days on a row.

Now he is not avoiding his papi, not really, he just has been busy and today he really wanted to go on a date with his boyfriend he hasn’t been able to do that for four months.  
And yeah sure, maybe he wanted to make out a little, sue him.

“papi, i’m so sorry, i’m not home” he said as Tyler quietly came back to the room with two cans of coke.

“Oh” his papi says, he sounds disappointed but still attempts to ask him teasingly “i hope i’m not interrupting a date”

“I’m hanging out with a friend” he explains, technically it’s not a lie Tyler is still his friend, he just happens to be a friend who is also his boyfriend.

“Oh, what are you two doing?” his papi asks him but he knows what he is actually asking is if he could come to pick him, if they are not doing anything important.

“We are finishing a school project” he says, this time when he turns to look at Tyler, he shows him that he draw a lenny face and he waggled his eyebrows,Alex rolls his eyes and tries to cover his laughter before throwing a pillow at him “so i’m a little busy”.

“Oh don’t worry” his papi responds “do you think that we can hang out on saturday, just your sister, me and you playing some video games or hanging out in the pool whatever you two want to do”

That’s the day of Tyler’s play, he was thinking that after it, he could take him out to dinner, maybe benihana, Syd and Elena went there a few weeks months ago and they said it was great.

He repeats it outloud “Saturday?” it feels like he is asking Tyler, if it’s okay, maybe he was also expecting them to go out together later and he is probably still mad at his papi but without a second thought Tyler and writes on another paper “Go”.

He is hesitant but when Tyler tilts his head and smiles again, Alex says “sure, saturday is cool”.

“Great” he dad said, he sounded excited “i’ll let you go back to your group project”

“Bye papi, te quiero” he said before hanging up.

Tyler picked up the two pillows to put them back on his bed and sit next to him, there is silence because Alex doesn’t know what to say, he just turns to Tyler who is staring at him like he is trying to figure out what he is thinking.

“Everything okay?” Tyler asks with a lifted eyebrow before asking “are you mad?”

“No, of course no, why would i be mad?” he asks back confused.

“Maybe, you didn’t want to see your dad and you feel like i insisted too much” Tyler offered cautiously and carefully.

“No-Yeah- I mean no, it’s not that i wanted you to discourage me from seeing him and you are right i do miss him and i do want to spend time with him, i just- you are not mad about what happened that day?”

Tyler spluttered before talking again, he sighed “Yes, i was a little annoyed-”

“You were pissed, i saw your face” Alex insists.

“Okay, i was pissed” he admits nodding like he was looking the right words but closed his mouth abruptly before out right saying “I really hate when people look at me like that”

“I know” he said nodding and grab his hand.

“But i think your dad is trying” He says and Alex almost wants to say that he should try harder and that doesn’t just erase everything that happened but before he does, Tyler says something else “and this isn’t about me, this is about you and i know that you love him and that even if things are complicated with you two right now and as mad as you get and as many fights as you two have, you are always going to love your dad and you obviously want things to work between you two and you miss him when he is gone so you should hang out with him while he is here, right?”

“Right” He nods but frowns, Tyler wasn’t wrong but “things are complicated” doesn’t really cut it “I’m not saying that i don’t want to give him second chance, hell, i want to give him a second chance more than anything believe me, you are right i do miss him and what we had but I just-i don’t feel safe with him, i used to and i miss it but i’m scared of feeling that way again, that things will get back to how they used be and then i’ll come out and he’ll leave again”.

Tyler didn’t say anything he just held his other hand without saying anything like he was trying to find encouraging words or comfort but he looks lost like he had never been in that situation before. All Alex wants to hear is for his papi to promise he won’t leave like that ever again but he knows that Tyler can’t give him that and he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep.

“Big part of me just wants to come out so that i can get this over with it like if he leaves, he leaves” he says but he has a sinking feeling in his stomach “I just can’t with the uncertainty anymore”

“You do what you need to do and i’ll be here for you, no matter what” he pauses before adding “but you don’t have to come out, if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, i know i read the buzzfeed articles “don’t come out when you are mad”, “don’t come out if it doesn’t feel safe”, “don’t come out until you know you are ready” but i don’t know if i’m ever not going to be mad or feel safe with him and and i think this is as ready as i'll ever be so i should just do it, right?”

“Or we can wait until we get married and send him the invitation and that can be your coming out” Tyler suggest making him let out a soft huff of laughter.

“did you say when we get married?” he said letting out an almost non-believing laugh and Tyler starts to shake his head “don’t lie, i heard you say “when we get married” now tell me about our wedding”

“Our imaginary wedding?” Tyler replied with a lifted eyebrow.

“You don’t get to play cold, you just said that we were going to get married and slow dance to hotlilne bling-”

“Now i’m pretty sure that i didn’t say that!” Tyler said defensively “I can't tell you how much that song is not going to play at our wedding!”

“So you admit it” he said as Tyler rolled his eyes “you thought about it!”

“Oh my god” Tyler said as he let out an sputtering laughter

“You basically proposed, i’ll tell mami to get the gobbers ready” he said with an amused smile “Abuelita is going to be so happy”

“Honestly you are bullying me and I want to be mad but we are holding hands so it’s hard” he said starting to pout.

“Do you want to stop holding hands?” he asks with a lifted eyebrow and Tyler looked at him like if he was crazy.

“No, i want you to stop bullying me” Tyler said but a laugh keep escaping him.

“Dang” Alex laughed for a last time before asking more serious “So do you think that i should come out?”

“I don’t know” he answers hesitantly “if that’s what you want then yeah, you should”

“I think i’m going to” he said mostly to himself laughing whitteringly “i think i’m ready”

He really thinks he is ready but he is also terrified and he can feel Tyler squeezing his hand like he is trying to give him strength.

“I know that Elena is going to be there and i can’t go with you but do you want me to wait for you nearby in case things don’t go well” Tyler asks him before quickly adding a panicked “not that anything bad is going to happen i mean, i bet that things are going to go great”

Alex doesn’t know what to respond to that, he wants to say no, he wants to decline, tell Tyler that he’ll be okay, he doesn’t need to come but what he says is “you sure?”

He nodded.

“You won’t be bored?”

“i haven’t finished the new season of the sinner and i have some books i haven’t even started” Tyler said with shrug like it’s no big deal.

“What if i chicken out?” he asks him, he hopes he understand that he is actually asking him if he is going to be disappointed or he’ll feel like he just wasted his time.

“If you realize that you are not ready to come out then i would have spent my afternoon watching a show that i like and reading some books, oh my god, what a tragedy” Tyler responded and he nudged his arm and the corners of Alex’s lips just turned up in a tiny smile.

“But you don’t have any plans? I mean your siblings might want to take you out” he says, he doesn’t want Tyler to just cancel plans to sit at some park close to the hotel in case he might need him.

“They are only coming to watch the play and give me some love, they have to go back to work”

“Okay but don’t always have a cast party after the play-”

“I wasn’t planning on going anyway”

“What? Why not?” he asks and Tyler groans shaking his head “you should go, have some fun, i don’t want us to become one of those couples that don’t go to places if the other one doesn’t go”

“well, there goes a perfect excuse for being antisocial” He said with fake disappointment, he lets go off his hands, only to offer him a handshake “Alright, tell you what, the party is late at night if you haven’t call until then, i’ll just go to the party and socialize with Chloe's cats or whatever,deal?”

he doesn’t take the handshake instead he presses a noisy kiss into his cheek before grinning and saying “Deal”, Tyler chuckles before making loud, obnoxious kissing sounds towards Alex’s cheek before kissing it.

The doorbell rings and Tyler runs to get the pizza, he even got the mozzarella sticks that Alex loves, they turn in the computer and eat as they finish the video of la llorona and continue with one of Exorcism of Anneliese Michel.

When they start to show the recordings of the exorcism, Alex is about to ask Tyler to turn the lights on but Tyler doesn’t even skirm, he just stares at the screen and mindlessly eats his pizza, Alex just can’t believe this shit, how in the earth?

When they play the second recording, Alex actually gets a little jumpy and he is expecting Tyler to make fun of him but instead he puts his arm around him holding him closer to him, they continue watching and laugh as soon as Shane starts making a joke, all fear is forgotten but he doesn’t pull away, he just continues laughing as Tyler continues tucking him close.

*****  
At lunch he tells Tyler the name of a pizza restaurant that’s it close enough to his papi’s hotel for him to wait at.

What happens after school it’s unexpected to say the least,when the day ends they just finished with practice and decide to walk to the nearest store to buy at least a bottle of water honestly, he is so fucking thirsty and tired.

They walk for a block but as they do, Alex notices that car that’s slowing down beside them, his friends are gleefully unaware, he doesn’t get how Tyler can watch so much true crime and not realize that he is about to be abducted.

He feels himself relax when they get to the store and he doubts that whoever is following them won’t try anything there because there are people at that store, that person won’t try it, they better not.

That’s when he hears the door of a car close and he wants to warn their friends but they are all staring at the ice cream and Tyler is just focusedly staring at his phone, he is about to scream when he hears a voice whispering “hey, mind-”

He turns around and punches the perp in the face, right in the jaw, he makes him lose his balance but he doesn’t fall and all his hair is covering his face and he can see icy deadly cold blue eyes through the hair, dammit this guy is tall and….oddly familiar.

In his defense doesn’t recognize him because he is not wearing his regular black clothes.

And also no way it’s him, if he was coming Tyler would have told him, he would have said something, no way-

But then he finally sees his face when the guy finally gets his chestnut brown hair away from his face and tucks it behind his ears.

“I’m so sorry” he said but Jeremy didn’t even let him finish.

“Hey, nice to see you too” he said like Alex had just said a funny joke, he still had his hand on his jaw meaning that it probably hurt but made a gesture with his hand as if to say it didn’t matter and it was okay, that’s when he sees Tyler turn around and look at Jeremy with an slackjaw and a expression like he doesn’t know where he is standing and he is hallucinating.

“Surprise!” Jeremy says with something close resembling jazz hands.

Tyler doesn’t respond, he just strides over to him and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug, Jeremy hugs him back but he can see him tense up after a moment and Alex quickly realizes why when he can notices that Tyler shaking silently, he is sobbing silently like doesn’t want anyone to hear him.

He turns to look at his friends who also looked shocked, even Cameron (the self-claimed Tyler expert) looked like he didn’t knew what to do but apparently Jeremy does even if Alex was expecting Jeremy to pull away and asks Tyler what the hell was going on but he doesn't, he just keeps his arms wrapped around him and holding onto him tightly, Alex always thought that Jeremy’s hugs will probably feel too awkward,too bony and probably too cold compared to Tyler’s soft and warms hugs but when he sees the way Jeremy rests his head on top of his and keeps his arms around without moving or even considering it.

And Alex always knew that Tyler was hugger because he comes from a family of huggers in the same way his whole family has strong jaws and cheekbones but for reason he always assumed that Jeremy was an exception to that rule (even if he does have a strong jaw and cheekbones) but turns out he was wrong.

When Tyler does finally pull away, it’s a sharp, jerky movement, like he’s suddenly realized what he did and the rest of them act like they didn’t see anything because they don’t want him to be embarrassed but Jeremy lets him go slowly before asking “are you okay?”

“Yeah, you just really scared me- but i am really happy to see you” Tyler said quickly wiping away his tears but Alex can tell his smile is genuine.

“I’m really happy to see you too, buddy” he said patting his shoulder and he swears that Jeremy’s eyes are also watering before he moves his attention to the cashier who is looking away.

He ends up buying them ice cream, Alex feels strangely guilty because he still punched Jeremy in the face a few minutes ago but doesn’t say anything until they leave the store and he sees Jill leaning next to the car.

“Did you knew about this?” Tyler asks her, still looking shocked.

“I found out yesterday” she said shaking her but she had this huge grin that made clear that she wasn’t the least bit mad “he called me and just told me to come pick him up at the airport and we decided that he should stay at a hotel and scare you after class-wait a second, have you been crying?”

To his surprise, she wasn’t asking Tyler but Jeremy who said “He is just growing up so much and i think he is going to become taller than me and i hate it, how can you not cry”.

“If i cried every time one of my younger brothers became taller than me, i would be crying every single day of my life since i was twelve” she said but she sweetly patted him in the back.

“Is this a new car?” Tyler asks confused and Alex was about to ask, he had never seen it before.

“Of course no, we are keeping Juno until the day we die” Jill said laughingly “we just rented it so that you wouldn’t notice us, do you want to go and scare Jason later?”

“Sure, let’s make it worth the price” Tyler agreed before Jill turned to them and ask them “hey kids, you want a ride home?”

They all get inside of the car except for Finn, his chauffeur is still waiting for him and he obviously doesn’t want to sit on top of one of them in the back seat and would rather sit in his comfortable private car, he does thank Jeremy for the ice cream and walks on the opposite direction.

“TEXT US SO WE KNOW THAT YOU DIDN’T GET KIDNAPPED” Hugo yelled from the car, Finn give him the thumbs up as he walks away.

“IF YOU DON’T TEXT US! WE’LL GO AHEAD AND PULL OFF A TAKEN!” Alex yelled too this time Finn didn’t acknowledge them

“WE’LL PRACTICE THE SPEECH IN THE MEANTIME!” Cameron yelled before they went off.

“WE WILL LOOK FOR YOU AND WE WILL FIND YOU!” Tyler added doing an impression of liam neeson the sounded more similar to Batman that anyone else.

“OH MY GOD! SHUT UP!” He yelled back and they all laughed as Jill started the car and drove away.

They are all sitting in the back seat, a little uncomfortable, Hugo’s head is almost out of the window, Tyler’s leg are basically on his lap and trying not to hit his head and the rest of him is leaning on Cameron who has his head also almost of the window and they basically have to keep them open because to be honest, they are going to die because of the heat.

“So Cameron i heard that you are becoming an older brother?” Jeremy asked, Alex couldn’t see what he was doing because Hugo had his arm on his face “are you excited?”

“Yeah, do you have any advice?” Cameron said trying to get Tyler’s hair out of his mouth.

“Don’t give him advice, thanks to you Tyler’s first word was shit” Jill said, he didn’t need to see her to know she was shaking her head.

“Tyler’s first word was shit?” Alex asks, how is it that he had never heard about this story before, he turned to look at Tyler who had his head against the ceiling but looked amused by the story.

“Yeah, because Jeremy decided that Tyler’s first word should be a swear word”

“Mom and dad told me to bond with him so i read him some deadpool comics, it's not my fault that they say shit a lot in them”

“Do you think the baby would be traumatized if i read her some batman comics?” Cameron asks, it was obviously directed to Tyler.

“No but as you can see it obviously works as a bonding experience” Tyler said even if he sounded restrained as he looked for a more comfortable position “how is it that i was never scared of any of that?”

“I don’t know, i also read you Stephen Kind and nothing, i think you find it soothing”

“That explains why you fall asleep to murder documentaries now” Alex said amd Tyler tried to give him a nudge with one of his legs.

“Ouch” Hugo said and he stretched his hand to give Tyler a slight punch on his head.

“Sorry” Tyler said patting him on the shoulder.

“You actually used scare Jeremy half to death” Jill said unaware of what was happening in the back.

“How?” Hugo asks confused.

“Tyler used to be a totally still sleeper-”

“He still is” Cameron announced and that’s true when Tyler finds a comfortable place to fall asleep somewhere, he just lays there and won’t move until he wakes up the next morning

“Sometimes it would seem like he wasn’t even breathing and i would think he was dead but every time i would tell mom and dad that, they would be like “he is not moving cause he is asleep, Jeremy, do the same” I was freaked out”

“Not more freaked out than me after you tried to show me how to drive” Tyler said and Jeremy cackles as soon as he hears him, it doesn’t sound the same as Tyler’s, it’s closer to an old woman laugh.

“I tried to teach Tyler how to drive but when we were a block away from the house, we felt a bump and he was convinced that we had ran over a dog which became 50 minutes of panic” he said as he continued to laugh “imagine our shock when i get out of the car and see that it was a big bag of bread”

“In our defense we couldn't see right and it was dark out” Tyler defend himself even if they were all shaking in laughter.

“You told me that it went okay” Jill said shocked like she had just heard about it for the first time.

“What was i supposed to say that we spent 50 minutes mourning a bag of bread and then i drove back home” Jeremy continued laughing.

“it’s not funny, i thought i killed someone” Tyler said when they couldn’t stop laughing.

“IT WAS BREAD” Jeremy yelled from the front seat and Tyler started to laugh again.

“Still better than when i tried to taught you how to drive” Jill said snorting.

“You mean when we fought for four minutes what music to play and then crashed against some dumpsters,god,kid, you are lucky Jason is teaching you” Jeremy replied also snorting, then he heard him slap his hand against his leg like he has just remembered something “Hugo, i heard your dad is getting married how is that going?”

“Great” Hugo says sounding a little strained as he tried to sit straight without hitting his head “are you going to stay until the wedding day?”

“Ugh, i would love to” he groaned before explaining“but i’m only staying for a week, i just came because the kid sounded more excited about this play than the others, definitely more than last year when he did Romeo and Juliet”

“Oh yeah, his kiss with Denise Falto was the most awkward thing in the world” Alex said when he remembered that the play had been great but when he saw the two of them do the quickest peck in the world it was too funny.

“Yeah, i know, they sent me the video” he says laughing and shaking his head and they catch each other’s eye on the rearview mirror and he sees him nod as if to say “good talk” before turning to Jill, Alex almost lets out a sigh of relief because yeah, that was a nice talk and he didn’t look mad that Alex had slap him in the face.

The first person they drop off is Hugo and after he is out, the three of them are able to sit comfortably in the back seat, Cameron swears that he just swallow Tyler’s hair as they all get a new message from Finn who tells them that he got home safe and did not die or got kidnapped, then they proceed to drop Cameron off at his house, his mom Lilly actually gets out of the house when she doesn’t recognize the car but he sees a wide grin on her face as she sees Jeremy, he even gets out of the car to hug her and congratulate her.  
Cameron and his mom stand there waving at them as the car leaves and they go inside, the way to Alex’s house, it’s quiet but nice they put on some music and he gets to hold Tyler’s hand and hear about how was rehearsal and that maybe Mrs.Hopkins has a shitty gaydar and wants him and Denise to date because he just started to notice that she always makes them play a couple.

When they get to Alex’s house, Tyler says that he is going to walk him up to his apartment, he is expecting Jeremy to say “what? he can’t walk himself there” or maybe react the same way his mami did when he wanted to walk Tyler to his house but he doesn’t say anything, Jill just parks and they get out of the car.

“Hi” he says once they are out of the car and he chuckles but before he says anything else Alex asks “are you okay?”

“Yeah” Tyler says frowning looking confused “why wouldn’t i be?”

"Because you cried at the store” he says a little bluntly, he wanted to sound reassuring “it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to”

“I didn’t think you noticed, well, i was hoping you didn’t” Tyler replied looking uncomfortable.

“I almost didn’t” he says hoping that somehow makes Tyler feel better.

“Oh, phew” Tyler said as they got inside of the elevator, they stood there in silence for a few seconds, he wanted to say that there is nothing embarrassing about crying and that he shouldn’t feel bad if he got emotional that maybe he was overwhelmed and another part of him is expecting Tyler to tell him that they were happy tears and he was happy but what he says is “He hasn’t answered any of my messages since sunday, i thought something had happened to him”.

Alex doesn’t know what to answer to that, all he could think about wasTyler frantically checking his phone looking concerned and thinking it wasn’t a big deal, the door of the elevator opens up and they walk down the hallway to his apartment door.

"I know that he doesn’t have to answer every time i message him and every time i call but” he said with a pained expression “i was spiraling, i kept on thinking of the worst case scenarios, that he had a depression relapse, that he couldn’t get out of bed, that he wasn’t sleeping, i thought-”

He doesn’t finish the sentence and he doesn’t have to because Alex goes back to the conversation they had last week, that he saw his brother half-dead laying in the floor, that even if he sounded like that was something he was over it, he clearly wasn’t.

Tyler thought that his brother was dead.

“I’m sorry, i didn’t knew” is all he manages to say.

“It’s not your fault, how were you supposed to know? i didn’t say anything” Tyler is quick to reply and squeezes his hand “it’s alright, i was just worried”.

“Have you talked to Jeremy about this?” he asks, Tyler darts his eyes away before shaking his head “maybe you should, it could be good, sometimes talking about things lets you move past them, it could help, i understand that it might painful to talk about but-”

“He doesn’t know” he admitted after a second before wincing and adding “well, he does but he thinks i don’t remember”

“What?”

“I told him i don’t remember, i was six-well five it happened like three or four months before my birthday and they believed me, they took me to a child psychologist and i told him the same and he said that kids do have something called starting point for amnesia that happens at age six or seven when some memories are lost” he said, Alex is not sure what face he is making and he is not sure about what is the right thing to say “I-Alex, you didn’t see him when he came back, he thought i was scared of him because of what i saw and Jill and Jason were already so worried about him and they needed me to be okay and it would have been so much easier if i hadn’t seen anything so-”

“You acted like it” Alex finishes for him and Tyler sort of shrugs, he wants to tell him that he gets it, he really does, he also pretended in the past when his papi came home drunk or that he couldn’t hear him get into fights with his mami, he is still sure he never saw the worst because his mami always protected him from it, still he gets it but what Tyler needs to hear is“i get it, i understand exactly why you did it but pretending to be okay doesn’t mean you’re actually okay and you don’t need to deal with this alone”.

“Is this your way to tell me that i should go to therapy?” Tyler asks, his tone is unreadable and he won’t look him in the eye but Alex’s eyes are focused on his jaw because that’s all he needs to know how he is feeling.

“I think everyone on earth could use therapy” Alex hates how diplomatic he sounded like “my mami goes to therapy, she also takes medication and it has really helped her out”

“I didn’t know that” Tyler says surprised, Alex hadn’t really mention it and he is looking at him in the eyes again and can tell that his eyes are watering “i mean i do know that therapy is good, i do, my sister is goddamn psychologist, i know that mental health is important and Jeremy goes to therapy, he takes medication and it's definetely good for him, i know but I’m not-it’s just that it’s not even that bad-”

“It’s not a competition” he says, Tyler lets out an small watery laugh “and i think that even if it’s just a little bad, therapy could really help or maybe just talking about it could help you out” he nods again looking slightly loss in thought for a second “i don’t want to be pushy,i just want you to be okay”.

“I know” Tyler says firmly “I know you do-”

“Because i lo-” he says but it dies mid sentence because the door opens up and Elena is there.

And if Alex could kill her or die at this exact second, he would.

“Sorry, i thought i heard something” she said standing awkwardly in the doorway “are you staying Tyler?”

“No,i would love to but my siblings are waiting for me outside” he says adding with an small grin “Jeremy is visiting so”

“Oh congrats” she says and then adds “I’ll leave you to it” and closes the door.

“You should go before they start thinking that i took you away to have a full blown make out session here” Alex says making Tyler laugh “and you don’t have to worry about tomorrow-”.

“Crap! tomorrow i almost forgot, i’ll just tell Jeremy that we have reservations at some place or something” Tyler said immediately but Alex shook his head

“No” Alex says firmly “You are going to spent some quality time with your brother because you love him and you miss him when he is gone so you should hang out with him while he is here, right?”

“Right” he says nodding to his words “i’m still going to have my phone with me at full volume even if we go to the movies just in case you need anything ”

“God, you are such a romantic” he snorts.

“And i promise that i’m going to talk to them about it, just not today or tomorrow but i promise i am okay?” he tells him and Alex believes him because Tyler keeps his promises.

He gives him a peck and a light kiss in the nose before he runs to the elevator.

When he gets back inside Elena is eating cheetos and watching Wynonna Earp, he basically jumps next to her and asks “listen i need your help tomorrow morning?”

*****  
Alex woke up early on saturday and then woke up Elena so that she could drive him to by the flowers for Tyler, she looks annoyed but he also knows that she is never ever going to let him live this down.

“These are calla lilies, they carry the meaning of innocence and they are also symbols of appreciation and admiration but also a symbol of ” the lady of the store tells him when she catches him staring at some white flowers “who are you buying flowers for?”

“it’s for my boyfriend” he said and the girl nodded.

“Oh, is it an anniversary or...?”

“He is in a play and i’m buying them for him” he said and she nodded as she directed them to some pink big roses.

“These are garden roses, they symbolize romance, love and beauty but they are also a traditional symbol of marriage and you might not want to come on too strong” she explained and they were nice but he didn’t like them and the lady could tell, she smiled politely as she added “Nothing related to marriage related, got it”

“Alex, you are breaking poor abuelita’s heart” Elena says as she looks at some other flowers “oh what about those, those are pretty”

“Those are dark red,they represent deep love and affection but white carnations represent pure love and good luck” the girl said, Alex stares at them,carnations, he thought about buying those “but they are wedding flowers”.

“You know that Tyler will probably never know what they mean, he’ll be too focused on the fact that you bought him flowers to begin with”

“Yeah but i will,we have only been dating for four months and a week, i can’t give him wedding flowers, i’ll look desperate and clingy”” Alex insists as they looks at other flowers, he knew that yesterday they joked about the wedding but actually giving him flowers that would actually be both clingy and desperate

“But you are desperate, we have been looking for thirty minutes and you are clingy,every time you say “goodbye” to him it takes you fifteen minutes”

“You can’t go two days without seeing Syd-” he starts but Elena shuts him down quickly.

“We don’t go to the same school like you two so i get to be clingy and it’s cute” Elena said as they keep on looking at different flowers “You are clingy and it’s desperate, also i drove you here so i at least get to tease you”

That’s when he sees green carnations right next to sunflowers and in front of some violets. If he was a cartoon character a lightbulb would have appeared on top of his head automatically.

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you think that you can make me a bouquet with violets, sunflowers and carnations” he asks the lady who looks surprised by how fast he make that decision after browsing through different flowers and asking for different meanings.

“You do know that green carnations are kind of wedding flowers, right?” the lady responds before she starts to work. “Sunflowers mean warmthness, they are also known as third anniversary wedding flower and violets represents spiritual wisdom, faithfulness and humility, you sure?”

He doesn’t know how to respond because the first thing that comes to mind is “Yeah but Tyler will know that it’s not because they are wedding flowers but because they are gay flowers,sunflowers would actually be fitting and i wore this violets cologne the first time we went on a date so it’s okay”” and that’s not a great answer so he just nods and pays instead.

It’s a weird combination but he likes it and he hopes Tyler likes it too.

*****  
When he gets to school almost everyone is right outside of the theater, he feels a little weird walking in with the flowers in his hands, especially when he turns to look at Finn and he catches him saying “AW” and Alex thinks that he should punch him but he can’t because his hands are busy, Hugo is standing right next to him and waves, Cameron smiles aprobatorily when he sees him so he takes that as Tyler is probably going to like it too.

Before he gets to them, he sees Jill, her face spreading into a wide grin as she says “Hi” and gives him a side hug, he can sees Jeremy glaring at Jason until he turns off his phone.  
It’s weird because both Jeremy and Jill are wearing suits but they pull them off differently, Jason has the whole statuesque and polished thing he has going on, even if they both look impeccable, somehow Jason has managed to keep his hair into place while Jill struggles with the dark waves of her hair even if it’s short, it’s barely on her shoulders, it always feels like a curl ends up in front of her face, that happens to Tyler too but most of the time he doesn’t bother to move it away from his face, he just leaves it there until it becomes a bigger annoyance.

Sometimes when he looks at them and can find bits and pieces of them in Tyler.

Like how Jill’s hugs are just as warmth and soft as Tyler’s and he swears her hair smells the same way his does.

And how when Jason sees the flowers Alex has, he smiles and his face completely softens the same way Tyler does, he smiles with his whole face, eyes included the only difference is that instead of looking at Tyler’s dark brown eyes, he looks at a wide-set of baby blue eyes but it still has the same warmthness that Tyler does, he is pretty sure the whole family has it.

He also thought that Jeremy was the exception to that rule but after seeing how he held Tyler yesterday and knowing that he is the reason why Tyler always wins at every single game, it doesn’t matter if it’s board games or video games, why he knows how to help Finn to cheat on exams, he knows that there are bits of him in Tyler as well.  
He also let Tyler paint his nails with markers which he considers sweet on it’s own.

“As you can see they are wearing matching outfits” Jeremy says, Jill and Jason turn to him simultaneously and say “oh fuck off” and Alex can’t help to laugh.

When they get inside, he sits between Hugo and Cameron, Finn is sitting next to Hugo. Jill, Jason and Jeremy are sitting behind them, he is a little self conscious about it until the lights go off and the play starts.

It’s nice, he actually really likes it, Denise is playing Elphaba, her hair is strawberry blonde but it’s hidden underneath a black wig and he can see Chloe as Nessa but he can tell that somebody put a bun on her hair because it wasn’t long enough to do it on it’s own, Michelle shows up with this blonde wig that almost falls off when she is singing “what is this feeling?” so she has to keep a hand on her head, Finn whispers about how the song it’s kind of gay and Alex kind of nods.

Tyler shows up and he can’t help to think that he looks adorable with this prince costume that includes using suspenders, he can tell that whoever was dealing with his hair really REALLY tried to make it all stay in one place but every once in a while a curl comes up on his face, he also notices that Cameron scrunches up his nose when Michelle pretends to act in love with him but when he sees Tyler and Denise kiss for a second during , it’s his turn to scrunch up his nose.

He still likes the play and the music but he makes up a mental note to give the flowers to Tyler in front of Mrs.Hopkins so that she stops trying to set up Tyler and Denise. Also at the end seeing Tyler dressed up scarecrow is the funniest thing that he has ever seen, the hat cover most of his head but it looks a little too small but he thinks he makes it work.

When the play officially ends, they all bow and they clap, he waits for all the parents and the rest of the people to leave so that they can get out without being pushed around until it’s safe, they all walk to find Tyler, since the door is open that means that it’s safe to walk in,everyone is dressed, the first thing he sees is Michelle who is still wearing her costume but her wig is already gone and she is trying to take off the heavy green makeup off Denise’s face.

“Hi” Cameron says and Michelle’s snaps her head at his direction, she almost get the cotton she was using to clean Denise’s face inside of her eye.

“Hi” Michelle says smiling excitedly before turning to Denise with an apologetic expression,Denise has this amused expression on her face as if saying “it’s all good” but then she gives Alex a look that screams “can you believe these straight people?” and he is able to stifle a laugh.

“hey, so these are for Tyler?” she asks, she is pointing at the flowers he is holding as she stands up off her seat letting Michelle and Cameron to continue making heart eyes at each other.

“No, he bought them for Mrs.Hopkins” Finn says sarcastically, Denise imitated him mockingly.

Of course that’s when he hear a loud “OUCH” and a quick “Sorry” in the back of the room, Tyler was already out of the costume, all of his make up was off but he could see some parts of his face that still had some yellow in it, he had the fake bun on his hand and Chloe was sitting down, also in her usual clothes, her mouth was covered with one of her hands, her usually perfectly into place hair was a mess.

“You guys okay?” Hugo asks worried, Tyler looks slightly horrified until Chloe started to laugh and hold her head, calming him by give him a nudge, she starts saying “It’s okay, i’m fine”.

“Sorry” he repeated.

“It’s fine” she said standing up and grabbing her backpack, Tyler tried to give her the bun but she shook her head as she goes to a different side of the room “I don’t want to see that shit ever again, i swear someone put glue in it or something”

That’s when Tyler officially notices him there and smiles, then his eyes dart from his face to the flowers, Alex has to fight the urge to put them behind his back, feeling kind of embarrassed but then Tyler’s smile widened and every doubt he had disappeared.

“hi” Alex said smiling and giving him the flowers “here for you”

“Hi” Tyler says staring at the them before holding it, his cheeks getting somewhat pink “thank you, i love it”

He is expecting Finn to say “awww” but instead is literally everyone else in that room, Tyler quickly goes from pink to red before he says “oh my god, get a life”.  
Cameron stays behind because he is going on a date with Michelle, Tyler gives him a congratulatory fist bump, When they get to the parking lot, Hugo has to leave quickly because he has to go home to try on different suits for the wedding, Finn also has a date with Mackenzie, apparently it’s their anniversary but he says he still has enough time to give Hugo a lift and Alex can tell that Tyler’s siblings are waiting for him so he should say goodbye now and take the lift but he wants to stay with Tyler for a few more seconds.

“i really do love the flowers” he says out of the blue.

“I’m glad you like them” he says grabbing his hand “so what are you guys doing today?”

“We are going to chuck e cheese to see if Shane Dawson is telling the true about his weird conspiracy theory” Tyler says before ducking his head down.

“I thought you were done watching his videos” he says because Tyler has been saying that he’ll stop one of these days since he was 12 and yet.

“Jeremy convinced me, he has been saying that he’ll stop one of these days too but he still hasn’t either, he is a bad influence on me” he said shaking his head and planted a kiss on his cheek.“hey, good luck today”.

“Thanks” Alex says feeling a cold feeling in his stomach remembering about seeing his papi today “and you have fun today”

“I will” he said, he was about to walk away when Alex pulls him in for kiss, when he pulls away, Tyler offers “we can give you a lift if you want?”

“Nah, it’s cool” he says before pulling him for another kiss “I’ll miss you”

He is expecting Tyler to tell him that he is just not going to see him for an afternoon but instead his face softens as he says “me too” before turning to his siblings and then looking back to Alex “i really am, god, what have you done to me?”

“I could tell you the exact same thing” he replied before they both burst out laughing “go before they think i’m a clingy desperate boyfriend”.

“Oh they are not going to think that, they are already roasting me about how i’m a useless puddle of heart eyes and cheesy quotes, i play your CD every morning and she keeps telling me that she is going to call you one of these day and tell you to make a new one”

“Is this your way of telling me that you want a new CD or-?”

“Oh fuck off” he says before kissing him a final time and walking towards his siblings that were already in the car, he wave lamely before he made his way back home.  


****

When he gets home, his papi is already there and Elena is also ready to go, they actually end up having fun, they go to his papi’s hotel and play some video games, she has been kicking their asses for at least two hours now, they are a good point because this doesn’t include talking so everything is okay.

His papi takes a bathroom break so they have to stop the game, he is still debating if he should come out right now, he feels somewhat safe with Elena in the room with him so it could go okay, right?

Maybe he should have mention that he planned to come out today to her before because in that exact second, he is about to say it, when she gets a text message from Syd, she almost jumps out of the couch apparently they just got them tickets to the first function of capitan marvel. 

OH NO. 

“That’s cool” he says as she basically jumps in excitement.

“Do you think that papi is going to get mad?” she asks him. 

“No” he says even if he is unsure and he really wants her to stay “you should go”

Alex could postpone it, just wait a week or two, right? 

Or he could tell him anyway without Elena here, right?

He has to hold back from calling Tyler because he is with his brother who he rarely sees in person and he is probably having a good time and he doesn’t want to bother him. 

He is not going to bother him. 

He is not. 

When Elena explains the situation to his papi, he tells her to go and have fun with “her girlfriend” and actually doesn’t complain when she corrects him telling him to call them “her sydnificant other” or “SO” even if he probably doesn’t get it yet.

“So it’s just you and me then?” his papi asks before sitting next to him again. 

“Yep” Alex says and he is about to restart the game when his cell phone vibrates his papi looks at it but he gets to grab it before he looks at what the message says, it turns out to be safe to show his papi, Tyler sent him a picture of a weird looking pizza with uneven pieces, he is about to explain the whole thing to his papi as he sends him a laughing crying emoji, when he asks “Who is the kid you have as a screensaver?” 

“Oh” he said as the realization hit him and he look for excuses or things to say but only the truth comes out of his mouth “that’s Tyler when he was a kid, he really liked to wear costumes, i thought it was funny”

“Alright” his papi says like he doesn’t get it “How is he?” 

“He had a play today and his brother is visiting so i’ll say he is doing well”. 

“good for him” his papi said holding the controller “so does he have a girlfriend or maybe a boyfriend?” 

He almost drops the controler on the ground and has to stop it with his tights, he doesn’t know what to answer, obviously he could say the truth but not specify that he is in fact the boyfriend, he could specify and be honest or he could lie completely. 

“No, he doesn’t” his mouth says before his brain has completely decided. 

“You know it’s cool if he is gay-”

“He is not gay” he says which is technically true, Tyler is bi just like him. 

“Alex, i’m not going to-” his papi says before stopping to take sharp sigh and for a moment Alex thinks that his papi already knows what’s happening with him and Tyler, he is going to tell him that he knows and that it changes nothing but what he says is “i just-i think you should be careful”

“With what?” he says feeling his own mouth dry. 

“You know that i didn’t meant it like that” his papi says defensively “Tyler seems like a very sweet kid but-”

“But he is gay” he replies more defensive this time. 

“This isn’t about him being gay” his papi is quick to say “i just think that you don’t want to hurt anyone-”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he says already standing up feeling his heart beat so fast it might get out of his own chest. 

“I’m saying that if he is your friend and you don’t want to lead him on” his papi says also standing up.

Alex stands there for a few seconds, not sure of where to take it from there, he clings into his cellphone and he really wants to calm down, he should, he should sit down and ask papi to sit next to him so that he can explain to him the whole thing but what comes instead is “Who says i’m leading him on?” 

“Alex, you don’t see the way that kid looked at you-”

“No, you don’t see how i look at him” he says and his papi narrows his eyes in confusion and the words that have stuck inside of his mouth and refused to come out in front of Tyler, now appear incredibly fast “i love him”. 

It’s weird for couple of minutes they are both standing there without saying anything to each other like time has literally stopped itself.

The thing that seems get time running again is his papi laughing. 

Alex is still just standing there with pain in his stomach, hands turn into fists and dry mouth unable to understand what is happening.

“You are joking, right?” his papi says after a second “this is you or maybe you and Elena trying to test if i’m telling the truth, i-”

“I am not joking” he says hand trembling,anger sparked, hot and fluid in his gut.

He doesn’t know if he wants to throw up or he wants to leave. 

“You are” his papi says with such an ease like he just didn’t listen to what Alex said “you like girls, you always liked girls, you are not gay, you-”

“I’m bi” he said almost yelling “i like boys and girls and i have a boyfriend”. 

His papi stands there in shock? suprise? anger? sadness? Alex doesn’t know and he can’t tell, he is just standing there and he wants to shake him and ask him to say something because he can’t deal with the silence, he can’t deal with not knowing.

“If you still like girls then why would you want to make your life more difficult by dating a guy?” his papi asks like that’s a normal question. 

He doesn’t tell his papi that dating Tyler has actually being one of the easiest thing for him,that it’s the opposite from difficult, that being with him feels natural, that he wished that he had known that Tyler liked him sooner, that the only thing that is making his life harder right now is him. 

But he doesn’t, he just runs. 

*****  
Alex doesn’t know for how long he is running because he is doing it without direction, his papi tried to chase him, he could hear him telling him to wait for a second but all he did was run, he didn’t wait, he couldn’t wait and he didn’t want to wait. 

He runs and stops when he gets to a bus stop and sits down on the bench, he is like a block away from the spot where he agreed to meet Tyler and right now he is really wishing that he had asked him to stay. 

But he can’t call him. 

Not after he told him to just go have fun. 

He should call Hugo or Finn or Cameron,maybe all three of them. 

He should call his mami and Schneider or his abuelita and Doctor. B. so that he meet them wherever they are. 

He should call Elena, maybe crash her date with Syd. 

Even when he is thinking about all of those options, his fingers are still hovering over Tyler’s name on his contact list. 

It's okay, he'll make it a short phone call, he can pretend to be okay for five minutes.

He just wants to hear his voice.

When Tyler answers his phone call, he tries to make himself sound chipper as he says "hi, how are you doing? I'm just calling to check that chuck e cheese’s pizza is not toxic and didn’t kill you-" 

"are you okay?" Tyler asks before he could even finish his sentence like he already knew something was wrong "what happened?" 

Alex sighed. 

"let's just say that i came out to my dad and it didn't go so well" he admits shaking his head, feeling foolish. 

"oh Alex, I'm so sorry" Tyler was quick to say "do you want me to go to your house-" 

"I'm not there, i have just been walking around, I'm close to the spot where we agreed to meet, i don't know why i’m here" he responds feeling empty. 

"Don't move, I'll be there in a few minutes, maybe even seconds" Tyler says completely determined and Alex almost laughs but then he can see a figure similar to Tyler running towards him as he ends the call. 

Scratch that, that's not a figure, that's actual Tyler. 

He can see Tyler running towards him from the other side of the street and he gets an strange urge to get to get to him faster like if he gets to him a few seconds earlier it will fix everything even if he knows it won’t. 

Alex starts running as he thinks of what he is going to say when he gets to him at first a lot of questions like “Were you waiting for long? how long have you been there? Are you alone? What did you tell Jeremy?”. 

When they get to each other, they both stop abruptly and the words never make it out of his mouth, their eyes meet and before he knows it, he’s swept into a hug, Tyler has a lock with a hard grip around his neck, elbows behind his shoulders as he closes the arms around him. 

Alex buries his face into the crook of his neck and he wraps his arms around his back, trying to not let his tears make the best of him,if he could be any closer he would even if that would mean that their bodies would be basically moulded together. 

When Alex breaks down, he is not sure why it happens in that exact moment, he was more than able to keep it together for a few good minutes in which he had managed to distract himself with Tyler’s smell like if he was trying find an exact scent, unlike him, he doesn’t wear axe body spray, it’s a mixture of cologne and shampoo he can't recognize and when he starts to cry, he can feel Tyler’s hand smoothing his hair. 

He hasn’t cried like this in a while, he is shaking and shuddering, Tyler only hugs him tighter and lets him cry, he kisses him twice, once in the shoulder and another time in his cheek as he rubs his back slowly. 

Alex hears his cell phone ringing but he ignores it, he knows who is calling, he just doesn’t feel like talking right now, he is about to tell Tyler that when he draws away but stops when he doesn’t pull away from him completely, he curls his hand around one side of Alex’s face and people are staring at them but he doesn't care. 

The cell phone keeps ringing and when Alex ignores it, Tyler’s lips lands on his wet cheek, before he starts peppering small pecks across his face, kissing the tears away before kissing him in the mouth in a way that he can only describe as comforting. 

When he pulls away, the cell phone has stopped ringing and Tyler asks softly and hesitant as he strokes his face “Do you want me to take you home? Or we can walk around if you want? We'll do whatever you-"

The cell phone starts ringing again, he still doesn't want to answer his papi, he needs a minute, he needs to cool off, he takes a deep sigh because all he wants right now is for someone else to deal with his papi for him. 

He takes a shaky breath before he declines the phone call and nods.

"I want to go home" he says as he turns off his phone and Tyler nods before kissing his forehead and ordering them an uber. 

On the way home,Alex uses Tyler’s cellphone so that he can explain his mom what happened and tell her that Tyler is taking him home. 

He also asks her not to tell Elena about it because he knows that right now things are food between her and dad and he knows that if he tells her what happened, she won't want to be best person and as mad as he is, he still doesn't want to ruin his papi's special day.

Tyler doesn't say anything during the whole way home but he lets Alex use his hand as a stress ball, he stays quiet even when they get to the apartment, he looks for the spare key and opens the door for him,he trails behind him as they go to his room, Alex throws himself at the bed immediately and Tyler stands there for a few seconds until Alex asks him "Can you stop standing there like a vampire and lay next me?"

He nods before he took off his shoes and now he can see his mismatched socks, he almost laughs when he does and he lays next to him looking determined, he looks at him and opens his mouth before quickly closing it like he is struggling to find the right comforting words and when he doesn’t say anything he knows that he couldn’t find them.

Alex doesn’t want him to say anything, him being here is enough. 

Usually he would hate the silence but as they lay facing each other, stretched out on Alex's bed, their legs are brushing together and feeling the warmth of Tyler's breath on his face and he looks at his face scattered with freckles, he closes his eyes hoping to fall asleep next to him or maybe fall asleep together, after a while he hasn’t mange to doze off but his eyes are still closed and he knows that Tyler is still awake because he is tracing his fingers across his face and playing with his hair which Alex finds soothing.

Alex really wants him to keep on doing that for the rest of the night or at least until he falls asleep or do nothing and stay, he really REALLY wants him to stay, he is surprised by how much. 

He shared a bed with Tyler before, he knows that he won't move and if they fall asleep together and he has an arm wrapped around him so they would probably stay like that for the rest of the night, he never got how people could fall asleep like that, he thought that it wouldn't be bearable especially in the summer but right now he wants to curl up against Tyler and bury his face on the crook of his neck. 

He opens his eyes so that he can look at him and he was expecting to find Tyler staring at him with sadness but instead he is meet with Tyler’s big brown eyes that keep on looking at him like he always does, like Alex hangs the sun everyday, the only difference is that he just looks just more focused and protective and he wants to say many things like ask him to hold him, to stay with him for tonight, he doesn't want to do anything, he just wants to doze off in his arms, he wants him to be with him so that he can fall asleep feeling safe, he wants to fall asleep to the smell his hair and to the sound of his heart beating, he has sleep next to Tyler before, even if he hears him snore, he would probably sleep through the whole night without waking up because he is a heavy sleeper so he wouldn't wake up until the next morning to the sound of his breathing, he would be the one to wake up first because Tyler likes to sleep until late but all that comes out of his mouth is a delayed question "how did you get there?”

“Oh, we didn’t want to eat that Chuck e cheese pizza after what we saw in the video so we went somewhere else and i remembered the pizza restaurant, i just wanted to be there just in case you needed anything” he says before taking his hand. 

“were you waiting for long-" 

"you are worth the wait" Tyler says without a doubt and like he is trying to get Alex to remember that forever. 

And he doesn't really know how to respond to that so he pulls Tyler by the collar of his jacket and kisses him. 

He kisses him hard, hungry and desperate, Alex slants his mouth fully against his, Tyler lets out a little squeak of surprise but he quickly tilts his head against his, he runs a tentative tongue along his bottom lip and opens his mouth and he can feel their teeth bump in a way that they haven't before.

He finally knows what a searing kiss is.

“Please stay” he asks in between kisses. 

“i’m not going anywhere” he murmurs before kissing him again. 

“No, like stay tonight” he says and he can feel Tyler shiver before opening his eyes and he looks at him and his lips are swollen, his eyes are wide open and it takes a second for Alex to figure out what he is thinking about and when he does,he pulls his hands away from Tyler’s collar but Tyler doesn’t let go, move or pull away, he still has his hands around Alex's neck, his thumbs digging into the pulse points and he is so sure that he can feel how fast his heart is pounding and they look at each other for a long loaded moment “OH, no, no, i didn’t mean it like that, i just want you to sleep here”

“Oh” Tyler says looking a lot more relaxed.

“But still you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to".

“i’ll stay” Tyler says like it’s the only thing that matters “i really want to stay”

That’s when he realizes that they haven’t asked his mami or Tyler’s sister if he could stay and they probably should but he doesn’t really feel like moving and he dropped both of their phones on the table and he looks at his clock, it’s still pretty early so they can totally call his mami later. 

So he just leaned in and buried his head in the crook of his neck and Tyler rubbed his back, when he turned to look at him, his cheeks were a rosy pink, he moved up to kiss him in the nose and he smiled. 

“Hey, do you want try something?” Tyler asks him, he looks up to him. 

“Sure, as long as i don’t have stand up” he replies and Tyler laughs. 

He still doesn’t tell him what they are doing but as they are rearranging their positions, Alex realizes that what he wants to try is spooning, he has never actually done this before and even if he imagined it, he never thought he would be the little spoon it’s a little awkward but then he throws an arm around his waist, resting his head atop of his shoulder, and yeah, the embrace is weird but he likes the way Tyler moves closer to him, how he wraps his arms around his midsection and that presses kisses to his cheek and back of his head, he doesn’t say anything else but when Tyler tries to pull away, he holds his hand and tells him "don't, i like this".

They are both quiet again and he starts to doze off when he feels him tighten his grip on him. 

*****

When Alex wakes up he is no longer wearing shoes and his clock says that it’s three a.m., the lights are off, he is covered by his bed sheets but the other side of the bed feels cold, his mami probably said “no” and sent Tyler home. 

Crap, where did he left his phone? 

The desk. RIGHT. THE DESK. 

He sat down and put his feet on the ground when he felt like he was stepping on something,he jump back on the bed and turn in the lamp of his night table, he saw Tyler inside of a sleeping bag mumbling something around the lines of “What the fuck?” before he opened his eyes and sat down, his voice that was heavy with sleep and his hair was a complete mess.

Alex thinks that he never looked better. 

“Hi” he said softly. 

“Hey” he said rubbing his eyes “what time is it?” 

“Three a.m.” he tells him and Tyler looks up at him with disbelief. 

“I know you are an early bird but this is some next level bullshit” he whispered and Alex laugh.

“Sorry, it was an accident” he said noticing that Tyler had drool on his chin “you look really cute” 

“I love you but it’s too early for this” Tyler says before he lays down again, when he says it he doesn’t look fully aware of it but then his eyes grow like two plates, Alex doesn’t know what to do but his body has decided to jump down and he grabs Tyler by the shoulders making him sit down and kisses him in the mouth, it’s fast and really messy because it’s still kind of dark, Tyler has morning breath and they are sort of laughing “go back to bed, i told your mom that there would be no funny business”.

“I’m just kissing you” he said hands still cupping Tyler’s sleepy face. 

“That’s how it starts” he says and Alex laughs but then cringes because he can actually imagine that’s exactly what his mami told Tyler.

He also feels bad that he is sleeping on the floor, after all he was the one who asked him to stay “Come on just lay next to me, we’ll just spoon”. 

“Your mami said that spooning is how your sister was born” he said and Alex actually has to cover his ears when he hears that “Now that the mood is dead, go to your bed and sleep”. 

“I’m going to put on my pajamas and then i’ll get into bed” he told him and he stared at Tyler as he lay back into the floor. 

He actually changes into his pajamas in the bathroom and can see that Schneider has fallen asleep on the couch but the blanket that he was using has fallen off him so he goes to him and puts it back on before returning to his room. 

When he gets to his room, he gets into bed and he is going to turn off the lamp before taking one of his pillows and whispering “Tyler, you still awake?”

“Yep, you okay?” he asks concerned his eyes opening. 

“Yeah, here take this pillow” he told him and Tyler took it before leaning his head on top of it and started to close his eyes again as Alex turn off the lamp. 

“Tyler”

“Oh my god, what?”

“Guess what?” he said playfully. 

“i told you i’m not going to get into bed with you, i’m scared of your mami-”

“I love you” he says it and it rolls so easily off his tongue that it surprises himself. 

“I love you too” he says his tone a little choked up, he is quiet after that and a for a second Alex thinks that he has fallen asleep again but he hears him whisper “i really want to kiss now you but-”

“You are scared of my mami, i know, i know” he said as he laid down on his bed but then he leans on one side and offers his hand before asking “we can still hold hands, right?” 

“Our arms are going to hurt tomorrow” he responds but he quickly feels Tyler squeezing his hand “Goodnight Alex”

“Goodnight Tyler” he says before closing his eyes and dozing off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wonder how Elena and Syd's date went they meet brie larson (i know shewas only in new Jersey and philadelphia BUT SHE WAS THERE OKAY?)


	8. The Trolley Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He takes it out of his bag so that he can give it to Alex and when he says “thanks”, he can see his braces, he looks slightly self-conscious so Tyler doesn’t doubt on giving him a gigantic smile be that shows his braces and saying "You too, huh?".
> 
> As soon as he does it Alex looks so relaxed, he smiles back and he is one of those people that smiles with his whole face, he can’t help but to look at his eyes, he has read thousands of books from different authors that talk poetically about how blue and green eyes are the most special but he thinks all of those authors are wrong or they have never looked into Alex’s brown eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you that i was going to make a chapter from Tyler's point of view but this ended up becoming me basically writting his whole life and the process of him falling in love with Alex.
> 
> It wasn't suppoused to be this long to be honest but i have a lot of feelings. XD
> 
> Also does this time-line compleatly make sense? NOPE but ODAAT has a changing time line and forgot to mention a sibiling so i'm staying in theme.
> 
> SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LONG LIKE I SAID A LOOOOT OOF FEELINGS.

Most people remember nothing from being three years old but Tyler, he remembers.

Sometimes he really wished that he didn’t because not all of his memories are that great, he even lies about them sometimes, if people ask him “what’s your first memory?” he’ll say that he has a vague memory of watching the parent trap with all of his siblings in the couch when he was around four or maybe five. 

But his first memory is the night his parents died, he remembers waking up crying and seeing that black cat attached to his skin like leech, he remembers feeling like the cat was gigantic and stronger than him and he remembers feeling helpless until someone got it off him, he remembers looking up and seeing Jeremy fighting with the cat,that he got a few scratches on him but he still got to throw it out of the window. 

Tyler remembers being three years old, feeling pain and seeing scratches with blood coming out of some of them all over his arms and face and seeing his older brother cry apologizing to him about leaving him alone, how he was so sorry and promising him that he was never going to leave him like that again. 

That's his first clear memory. 

Pain. Scratches. Blood. Crying. Apologies. Promises. 

Jeremy fixed his wounds with bandages and Tyler looks like a mummy, he has stopped crying but now it's Jeremy who can't stop panicking and shaking, for a second Tyler wiped his brother’s tears with his hand but that only got Jeremy to cry harder. 

He remembers seeing him whimper as he said "mom and dad are going to kill me".

Tyler remembers responding a weak and soft "No". 

And he was right mom and dad didn't. 

Because they never made it back home. 

They wait up all night for their parents but they never came back, the only person that appeared the next morning was a cop and Jeremy held onto him like he was his security blanket. 

He didn't let go for the rest of the funeral. 

He was three years old when his parents died, he doesn't remember them but he remembers their funeral. 

He wonder how many people don’t get to remember their parents but remember their funeral?

Jill and Jason come back home for the funeral, their eyes are red and they look like something inside them just broke but they take care of everything and Jeremy takes care of Tyler.

Their uncles talk about who is going to take care of Jeremy and Tyler, he remembers Jason walking in and turning in the T.V., walking out of the room and slamming the door shut, then hearing Jill says loudly with determination "No one is going to take care of our brothers except us".

Everything after that is a blur and before they knew it, they move out from New York to L.A. to this red old house.

At the beginning they used to live all together, Jill and Sarah had the master bedroom, Jason sleep on their sofa bed in the living room, Tyler and Jeremy share the room that now it’s only Tyler’s.

His childhood feels pretty average after that.

It's pretty good.

Jason reads him bed time stories and puts Judy Garland's songs before he goes to sleep, his favorite one is the trolley song but he lied to Jason and told him that it was the wizard of Oz because he told him that it was his mom's favorite.

Jill takes him to the park after she is done studding, she pushes him softly and carefully in the swings,helps him to go down on the slides, he gets on her backs and gets piggy rides everywhere, she takes him to an ice cream store and asks for an ice cream in the shape of a clown that she ate all the time with dad when she was little, he doesn't really love it, he likes it! It's fine! It's just not his favorite!, but he lies and tells her that it is.

Sarah is sweet, she makes the best breakfasts that he has ever had and helps him with his homework, she dotes on him and he loves it, Jeremy not so much, one day Jeremy nonancahly said "I appreciate everything you are doing for us but you are starting to sound like my mom" and an exasperated Sarah replied "THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GROUNDED!" but they both ended up laughing and it felt like they were part of some inside joke he wasn't in.

Alyssa doesn’t live with them but she always comes in with food, she indulges his weird costume phase in which that’s all he wants to wear, she always brings up new ideas,she helps Jill to make them, Jason buys things to make them and Jeremy insist on taking pictures, acting like he is some sort of famous photographer in an a photoshoot and Sarah starts an album but Jeremy is the one that insist on being the one to fill it, she shows him pictures of his parents and tells him a story every once in a while. 

Jeremy doesn't talk about mom and dad, instead of doing that they watch cartoons, he shows him how to cheat in exams, board games and video games, he teaches him curse words (not only in English but other languages too) and listens to his suggestion to keep his hair long, he also lets him paint his nails with markers.

And he as he paints them, he decides that he is never going to lie to Jeremy. 

Jeremy is his best friend until he goes to his first day of kindergarten. 

They are finger painting and he is sitting next to a short kid with a coconut haircut, big blue eyes and tiny arms,wearing a red iron man t-shirt with long white sleeves, grey shorts and red sneakers with clean socks, he is focused on painting a weird looking sun when he accidentally throws paint at his face, then turns to him worried and horrified, attempting to clean his face with his sleeve, offering him cookies so he won't tell the teacher. 

He ends up taking the cookies and this kid stares at his sandwich with interest "if you give me half of your sandwich, i'll be your best friend". 

So he did and just like that Cameron Peralta became his best friend.

They read comic books, they laugh, watch cartoons, find ways to get to the cookies that are on the high shelf, make blanket forts and compete for who can fit more more marshmallows on their mouths, Jeremy lets them watch beetlejuice if they promise him that they won’t tell anyone that he did and they rewatch the ending scene just to hear “Jump in the line” again, they have sleepovers in which they fail to stay up all night, one day they go to watch a movie, it’s nice because his mom Lilly has become friends with Sarah and Jill so they decide to go to the movie with them. 

It’s funny he can't even remember the movie but he will never forget that night, when they got to the house, he couldn't find Jeremy anywhere until he opened the bathroom door. 

He became immune to horror movies after that.

Nothing could ever compare to the fear he felt when he opened the door and saw his passed out brother bleeding all over the floor.

He remembers screaming but did he screamed or was it someone else?

He remembers crying. He definitely cried.

He doesn't remember anything after that but he'll never forget the panic he felt when he opened the door.

He vaguely remembers someone pulling him away from the gruesome scene and covering his eyes, was it Sarah or was it Jill?

Who called the ambulance? Who cleaned the bathroom? Was it Jason? Where was he? Was he at work?

Jeremy stayed at the hospital, they didn't let him see him, he remembers being confused and sad but overall the thing he remembers being angry because when that cat attacked him, Jeremy promised. HE. PROMISED. that he would never leave him alone again.

And he had.

That’s how he learned that just because you are mad at someone doesn't mean that you can't miss them because as mad as he was,he sleep in Jeremy's bed everyday until he came back. 

The day he came back,Tyler was waiting outside sitting in the porch with Jill and Sarah by his side,he was ready to tell him about how he felt about that night, about the promise he broke but Jeremy got out of Jason’s car, saw him and immediately started crying,he looked like a ghost and was walking like a zombie and he was shaking like he couldn’t breath and trying to hold himself from not falling apart, Jason had an arm around him holding him and whispering things and squeezing his shoulders and he remembers Jeremy nodding to everything he was saying, Alyssa had drove with them and she was rubbing his back trying to comfort him.

Jeremy walked towards them trying not to look at them but when he is officially in front of Tyler his hands have clenched into useless fists at his sides, like it’s taking everything he has to stop himself from reaching out.

Looking back it was probably because he was afraid that Tyler wouldn't want to, that he was scared of him.

But Tyler did wanted a hug and he wasn’t scared of his brother. 

He was only scared of losing him.

“Can i give you a hug?”.he asks,his arms lifted up like he always did when he wanted to be picked and when he did Jeremy looked like he wanted to start crying and then leans over, he doesn't pick him up, he just hugged him and his fingertips are curled against the inside of Jeremy’s hair, and let his head fall on his shoulder and their arms are tangled up together, he could hear him whisper "i'm sorry that you have to see that, i never wanted you to see that".

Tyler could hear him trying not to cry, trying to keep it together for him until they both pulled away and his eyes were watering, he gave him a brief sad awkward smile and when he turned to Jill, she pulled him into a fierce hug and he sobbed in his sister’s arms for what feels like hours until they get back into the house. 

He had hoped that now that Jeremy was back, they could just go back to the way things used to be. 

But they don’t. 

There are days in which Jeremy can’t get out of bed, when he can’t sleep at night, when he manages to but he wakes up in the middle of night because he just had a nightmare, when he can’t look at Tyler in the eye and he keeps on seeing this happen and he wants to do something but he doesn’t even know what it’s going on.

Some days when he doesn’t want to get out of bed, he lays next to him and it feels like they are both just taking a long nap.

He can also see Jason, Jill and Sarah look at him with so much concern, constantly asking him if he is okay, that at this point, he doesn’t even want to hear that word again, okay? 

They take him to a doctor who asks him a lot of questions about that night, so many questions about his parents and about what happened that night with Jeremy and that seems to be the problem, isn’t it? that night, the fact that he saw Jeremy like that is what started everything, the concerned looks and questions, the way Jeremy cries and can’t look at him in the eye, that happened because Tyler saw right? If he hadn’t seen it, things would go back to being somewhat normal,right? 

That’s when an idea appears in his head. 

He tells him that he doesn’t remember that night. 

Then he tells Jill and Jason that he doesn’t remember that night, he tells Sarah that he doesn’t remember. 

And finally he lies to Jeremy for the first time ever. 

Things still don’t go back to normal but they do settle down, the concerned stares stop, Jeremy goes to therapy twice a week and starts to take medication, he is slowly getting better even if he still has bad days, his birthday happens and the last thing he wants is for someone to throw a party, instead they go to the beach during the morning and when they were going to go to the mall so that he could choose his present but instead he heard two people talking about how no one is going to get a puppy because it has an eye problem and the moment he locks eyes with that dog, the rest is history.

At the beginning Jill says no because he is too young to have a pet, Jason says that they can’t really afford it and they look at Sarah for support but she is just looking back at them with her hands up as if saying “don’t bring me into this”, Alyssa is not saying anything either but she has this sympathetic smile and Tyler usually doesn’t wine when things don’t go his way but he looks at the little dog curled up in his arms, he doesn’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl but he loves this dog already,he doesn’t realize he is crying until he hears his own strangled sob as he begs “PLEASE!! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!”.

They both look at him looking slightly defeated but he sees Jason shake his head slightly and turns to look at Jeremy who has been quietly looking at the puppy suspiciously, he crunches down and takes one look at the dog before turning to look at them with similar puppy dog eyes. 

They know they lost battle and the war when Tyler gets licked on his face and it’s able to take a better look at the puppy “PLEASE!!! SHE IS AN ORPHAN!!”.

He names her “butch” because has heard his sister say that word a lot and he likes it, the veterinarian tells him that she is partly blind on one eye so she needs a lot of extra attention and love, he smiles and nods with determination, he loves her already. 

They have a good time, when he is back home Cameron comes over to eat the cake Jill and Sarah bake him and they have a sleepover, Butch sleeps with them on the bed even after Jill warns him that if she doesn’t teach her to sleep on the floor, she is going to be sleeping on his bed forever, he doesn’t get why that’s a bad thing.

It’s a good day. 

Things keep on moving, he graduates kindergarten and their pictures are put next to Jill and Jason’s graduation photos, it’s the last ones that includes their parents, he doesn’t remember being there but he is in the picture on his mom’s arm and his dad has one arm arm wrapped tightly around her waist and his other arm around Jill who has her arm linked to Jason’s, who is doing bunny ears to Jeremy who is smiling but looks uncomfortable by the suit. In his graduation picture Jill is holding him with one arm and has her other arm around Sarah’s waist, both smiling brilliantly next to Jason who has his arm around Alyssa,this time Jeremy is the one doing the bunny ears to him, he doesn’t wear a suit so he doesn’t look uncomfortable this time. He wonders if liking the second picture more than the first one makes him a horrible person.

The next year is Jeremy’s last year of high school and suddenly the only topic they can talk about is college, Jason thinks that Jeremy should go to a place close to home or go to community college, Jill tells him that he should go wherever he wants to go and that he can take a gap year if that’s what he wants, Sara keeps on showing pamphlets and Alyssa tells him to study whatever he wants, just not philosophy. 

Tyler is seven but he is not an idiot so he knows that Jeremy doesn’t really care about what college he ends up as long as it is in New York, he knows because he has catched him staring at a gigantic white,black and grey painting of the empire state on his side of the room, a while ago, Jill told him that it used to be dad’s. 

He dreads for the day that the acceptance letters come but they do and Jeremy actually ends up getting into NYU, when he finishes reading it, he looks so happy, his smile is huge, Jill and Jason look so proud of him, Sarah had his favorite dish ready “spaghetti with meatballs”, he turns to look at him to pick him up before whirling him around with excitement and kissing his head.

He is so happy that he doesn’t realize Tyler is miserable. 

Or maybe he does because Jeremy tells him about how he is going to have all of this free space, that he is going to be able to decorate his room however he likes, that he is going to be able to put all of his posters all around the room, how he is going to have more privacy but Tyler can’t barely process it, he is just holding onto Butch and when Jeremy finally gets out of the room he cries onto her fur. 

It feels too fast, the months go by too quickly and before he knows it, they are at Jeremy’s graduation and the next thing he knows, things are getting packed, they kept the furniture but his desk looks empty just like their share closet is and the dressing table is now full of his toys, all of the stephen king books are out of their their bookshelf, now it’s all harry potter and comic books, it still has a few books that are Jeremy’s but they are the ones that he is not going to miss, Cameron and his mom come over and give him some travel bags and suitcase to put Jeremy’s things, he thanks her before hugging her and Cameron in what he thinks it might be the first time ever.

They all take Jeremy to the airport and the drive there is actually chill,Tyler is singing with Jill and Sarah who are in the front singing the indigo girls, Jason laughs about how bad they sound, Jeremy is laughing along and turns to look at Tyler who looks up to see him as he keeps singing and just for a few moments, he sees the excitement disappear from his face as he puts an arm around Tyler and starts to ruffle his hair. 

Before Tyler gets out of the car, Jeremy holds him back and carries him inside, holding onto him like he was his security blanket, the same way he did during the funeral even if he is heavier and taller now. 

When it’s time for him to board the plane, Jeremy scrunches down to put him safely in the ground. 

“Listen i’m going to visit as many times as i can” he whispered hugging him gently but tightly, kissing his head, he could tell that he was starting to tear up.“Fuck, i’m going to miss you so fucking much”

“Have some fucking language” he whispered as he nodded into his shoulder,silently hoping he doesn’t have to let go. 

But he does, letting out a laugh and wiping his eyes, he says goodbye to Jill next and he hears them exchange “I love you’s” and she kisses him in the cheek before wiping away his tears again telling him to call and to be strong, Jason doesn’t say anything, he just gives him a strong pat in the back during the hug, he acts like he is not crying but they all know better, Sarah opens her arms and pulls him into a bear hug, she doesn’t cry but she has this expression that is both sad a and proud. 

Jeremy takes all of his bags and after passing security, he turns around and waves in their direction one last time, that’s when Sara starts to cry.

The drive home is quiet, he can see Jill and Sara holding hands in the front, lets his head fall on Jason’s lap and cries silently on his way home. 

Times go by and he refuses to change anything about the room, he gets rid of his own bed and keeps Jeremy’s, because it should stay the same when he comes back after college, they facetime as often as possible and Jeremy seems to be doing well, he has friends something that Tyler thinks he never had before, he starts to paint his nails and wears more black clothing but it fits, he thinks he looks as Cameron would say “rad”. 

One night he wakes up for a glass of water, when he sees that Jill is facetiming Jeremy, he is about to jump out of the blue and give her a tiny scare just for the laughs but before he gives another step, he hears Jeremy wimpher as he says “I wish I was home, i’m missing everything” which makes him stops his tracks. 

He can’t see the face that Jill is making but she comforts him and assures that he didn’t make a mistake, that he is just homesick, that he will visit soon and they will visit him too and that he is not missing seeing Tyler grow up, that just because he doesn’t see him everyday that does not mean that he is going to stop loving him and everything is going to be okay, they exchange I love you’s and she hangs up.

She turns around and sees him standing there and by this point, he no longer wants a glass of water so he lets her take him to his room and tuck him into bed even if he is angry at her, why couldn’t she just tell Jeremy to come back? doesn’t she miss him? 

The words actually make it out of his mouth and she tells him to scoot over, she lays next to him and she tells him that of course, she misses Jeremy but she knows that he is content there, she can hear it in his voice, that when she went to college she was also homesick but dad convinced her to stay in college because it was the best decision she ever made and she knows that it’s also the right decision for Jeremy too. 

And he gets it but he still doesn’t change the room even if things around him keep on changing, not just for him but Cameron as well, his mom starts to date a dude named Hannish, he is a friend of Jill and she introduced them, it takes a while for Cameron to warm up to him but one time when they are playing in the park and he falls off the slide face forwards, Tyler scrounches to look at him and help him stand, Hannish runs to look at him even if Lily stays behind because Cameron falls a lot and he usually bounces right back up no matter what, he remembers him falling off the stairs once and then standing up after a second.

“Jezz Dad, i’m fine” Cameron says cleaning his pants, not realizing what he just said looking disoriented, they stare at each other and Hannish has this small smile before ruffling his hair and walking away, Tyler doesn’t say anything mostly because Cameron looks slightly embarrassed but quickly overcomes it and starts getting on the monkey bars. 

The next big change happens when Jason tells him that he is going to move out to live with Alyssa, that they have found an apartment that’s close here and that he will be close by in case of any emergency and that they will hang out every sunday,he promises that nothing is really going to change, he doesn’t really believe him. 

But he was wrong, not much changes, Jason comes every sunday, sometimes to take him to the beach, he even teaches him how to surf,at one point he tells him that it’s the same as riding a bike, Tyler can’t see how but he is good at it, other times he comes over just to watch T.V. or cook lunch, Alyssa comes depending if she doesn’t have to give a class on monday, she even teaches him how to knit and make Butch a weird looking sweater but he likes how it looks.

Jeremy also comes to visit but only for special occasions like christmas which is his favorite holiday because his whole family is finally together, not just including Jeremy but Cameron gets to stay over because him and his mom are jewish and Hannish is muslim so they don’t celebrate christmas but they do come over for dinner with pizza rolls. 

Jeremy always comes back for his birthday, sometimes he doesn’t make it for Jill’s or Jason’s birthdays but he still always calls at 12 o’clock and sends an strange present like weird looking ties that Jason only uses in new year’s eve and t-shirts that say things like "scary lesbian BOoo" for Jill who does end up wearing them all the time. 

For Tyler, he always gets him books and when he stays they make a blanket fort in the living room to read the first chapters together until they both fall asleep.

There is a part of him that is still hoping for Jeremy to come back home or at least live nearby like Jason but he finally understands that he is not going to leave New York,It happens on his birthday of all days, he is turning twelve. 

He has already blown the candles, opened all his presents and they are about to start eating the cake when Jeremy mentions that he is going to get an apartment with his friend Anna after graduation next year, he almost spits his cake and the grip he had on his fork tightened,a sharp pain came to his chest but he thinks he hide it well because no one said anything, Jeremy and him spent the night on the blanket fort reading the first book of the percy jackson series before falling asleep.

A day after he leaves, he actually asks his siblings if he can change his room, they are convinced that he is going through some weird rebellious teenager phase until he asks to finally repaint the room a creamy shade of yellow after it dries, they move Jeremy’s bed-no, not Jeremy’s, his bed right next to the wall instead of being in the middle of the room, he puts on all his marvel,DC and harry potter posters but he keeps the old painting there even if it looks a like a weird and out of place, he puts his actions figures next to the books even if they have nothing to do with it and rearranges his clothes, he expects to feel like a proper teenager after that but all he gets is that being twelve is probably going to fucking suck. 

He realizes that being twelve will suck when he gets told that he is going to need glasses and not normal cool glasses but this one with thick black frames that makes his eyes look gigantic, his hair is becoming more difficult every day, Jill says that she went through the same thing and it will look good in a few years with the right conditioner and shampoo but all Tyler can think that it’s easy for her to say, she doesn’t have to start school looking like a nerdy character from a 90’s movie and the uniform doesn’t help, he hates it. 

Cameron says that he looks fine but he offers to keep his coconut haircut as a sign of solidarity which means that he doesn't look great either, still he tell Cameron to cut it which ends up with them at Cameron’s friend Mackenzie who ends up cutting his hair for him, her hair is also going through a hard time, it looks like both him and her are going to have the same hair, they agree to tell each other if they find a good conditioner. 

School starts and before he has even taken out his pencil, this new teacher Mr.White says that there is going to be a surprise test right now, he makes them change their sitting order so they won’t copy.

Yeah, being twelve is going to suck. 

He has finished his test, he is so bored, he turns to the side and notices that he is sitting next to a Finn Leighton who seems to be struggling with his test, he shouldn’t care, they have never really talked to each other and all he knows about him is that he is a rich idiot, he doubts he even knows his name.

But then he sees him desperately biting his nails and he thinks “fuck it”.

He discretly kicks his chair to get his attention, Finn startled until he sees him sliding his paper closer to his eyesight so that he can copy him, he look at him with disbelief but Tyler mouths “QUICK!” and he starts copying every single one of his answers.

The next day he gets an A+ which means that Finn also got on A+, he doesn’t realize that until they are at lunch and he is comparing his answers with Cameron when he gets a paper shoved in on his face, he looks up to see Finn with a shit eating grin. 

“Thanks for the service, man!” he says and Tyler is about to say it wasn’t a big deal until Finn throws a fifty dollar bill on his direction before turning around without a second thought, he can see Hugo Ludgate standing behind him with this apologetic white toothed smile, he looked about the same as last year, same warm brown skin and nice curly hair, he gave them a look like if he was a parent whose child had just pushed another kid off the swingset. 

“What an ass!” Cameron says loud enough for Finn to hear, Tyler leans down to pick up the fifty dollar bill because money is money and he is not going to let it go to waste but before he does, another hand picks it up.

He is about to scream that is his money but then he looks up to see Alex Alvarez who is also smiling apologetically putting the 50 dollar bill in his hand. 

“I’m sorry about him” he says shaking his head, he has a nice face, all lean clean lines, a touch of olive to his complexion and his hair is the complete opposite from Tyler’s, it looks well brushed and so soft that he gets an urge to touch it. 

“Yeah, sometimes he can act like-” Hugo starts but he doesn’t finish his sentence. 

“like a dick” Cameron interrupts him nonanchaly. 

“Yeah” Alex says laughingly before asking “you guys are new, right?”

“No” they both say in unison,he thinks there is going to be an awkward silence but instead they say “You owe each other cokes” at the same time making him and Cameron snort, they walk away eventually looking for Finn,probably to make sure he didn’t say anything stupid to someone else.

What happens after that is that Tyler accidentally creates his own business because Finn apparently told everyone about him helping him because people coming up to him with money and tell him to do homework for them or help them copy in exams and here is the thing Tyler is not that good, he did it that day because he got an A+ that day because he had just finished listening to Hamilton and he was curious enough to look up the historical inaccuracies that came in handy in that test.

Surprisingly it helps his grades, turns out he might worry more about other people’s grades than his own, huh, his most frequent client is Finn who at this point might as well be his friend, he shows up at his without a warning, he has his cellphone number, sometimes he sends him weird memes that Tyler honestly doesn’t understand and Cameron has to explain to him.

One day he gives him fifty bucks for his math homework and at this point, he might as well be robbing this guy so he asks “You know that i can just tutor you, right?” 

Obviously Finn just asks for a discount but when he remains unmoved, he says he’ll give it a shot, to come to his house later today, it’s weird because he has heard that this is a crazy rich boy who can spent fifty bucks more than once a week, he probably lives in a big ass house. 

Turns out he was wrong. 

Finn obviously lives in a motherfucking mansion, he feels out of place just from stepping one foot inside and no longer feels bad for taking his money, he ends up feeling bad again when he tries to introduce him to his parents and they ignore him completely, he tries to teach him math but it doesn’t work, he can tell that Finn understands, he just doesn’t want to do his homework. 

It’s an awkward weird moment when he realizes that Finn told him to come over to his house because he lonely, he decides to try to cheer him up instead of doing work and he surprisingly has fun, Finn tells him to come back tomorrow but he can’t, he has to go to the dentist but maybe some other time. 

He really wished that he had gone to Finn’s instead when he gets told that he is going to need braces. God being twelve sucks so much.

Cameron tells him that he doesn’t look that bad, he almost convinces him until he sees Mackenzie who wanted to ask him a question and her face says otherwise, it is that bad. Fuck. 

He walks into the classroom, when he sees Alex Alvarez sitting in the corner of the classroom behind Hugo and in front of Finn, both of them seemed to be talking to him but he looks like he just wants to look out of the window like if he was in a sad music video. 

Tyler sits next to him and he tries not to eavesdrop on their conversation, until he hear the question “hey do you have an eraser?” 

He takes it out of his bag so that he can give it to Alex and when he says “thanks”, he can see his braces, he looks slightly self-conscious so Tyler doesn’t doubt on giving him a gigantic smile that shows his braces and saying "You too, huh?".

As soon as he does it Alex looks so relaxed, he smiles back and he is one of those people that smiles with his whole face, he can’t help but to look at his eyes, he has read thousands of books from different authors that talk poetically about how blue and green eyes are the most special kind but he thinks all of those authors are wrong or they have never looked into Alex’s brown eyes.

The class starts, the moment is lost, Cameron sits next to him and he is not expecting anything out of this but during lunch when Cameron and him are arguing about what they are going to read next now that they just finished the percy jackson series, Hugo, Alex and Finn show up to ask if they can sit with them. 

He can tell that Cameron is not sure but when he sees Tyler is already nodding, he nods as well. 

It’s weird how fast they become friends, he is not sure how but they do, they start eating lunch everyday and have a group chat, they end up calling “La banda del choclito” because that’s how Hugo’s dad called them once when they were having a maraton of marvel movies, they play video game, Alex teaches Cameron how to use hair gel and helps him change his hair style, he teaches Hugo how to cheat on different card games the same way Jeremy taught him, Finn orders two pizzas just to obnoxious, he introduces them to hamilton and he is surprised by how much Alex and Hugo get into it and they end the night by choosing the sneakers Alex wants to buy for his foolproof plan to get them all for free, Hugo tells them that it’s going to fail but he also points to the cool red ones.

Tyler thinks that this is going to bite Alex in the ass but he also thinks it’s charming. 

And by the end of the night, he finally feels like a proper teenager. 

The next monday when they finish their lunches, it’s his turn to throw the trash apparently he puts in the wrong bin because a cute girl with a bun and glasses shows up and starts to talk to him about this new bin that it’s where the trash it’s supposed to go so it can decompose naturally, he doesn’t know what she wants him to do about it right now besides promising that he is not going to do it again and hoping to walk away alive of this conversation but then she starts to call him “an earth murderer” and he is pretty sure he is going to spent the next 15 minutes standing there. 

That’s when Alex shows up and he has a hushed discussion with the cute girl and he connects the dots, this is Alex’s sister Elena, he is about to introduce himself but things seem to be getting out of control, that’s when Zach Miller from ninth grade throws a burger and they are able to escape back to his table as he does Alex puts his arm around him, explaining that is his sister Elena and that she can get a little intense sometimes, it’s not a big deal. 

The next day he finds this group of boys huddle up together in the parking lot, he is honestly just trying to make it to class, what are these people even seeing? He needs to cross to the other side where his friends are- 

“What are you guys doing here?” he asks Hugo, Finn and Cameron who seem distracted by something “where is Al-?”

Cameron turns him around to look at what they are seeing and for a couple of seconds he get why, his brain automatically goes “OH.OH WOW, OKAY.” because there is a pretty girl standing there and she is well pretty and cute, she is pretty cute and also very familiar, isn’t she- 

OH MY GOD, THAT’S ALEX’S SISTER. 

That’s when he walks away searching for Alex who is standing to a side, looking annoyed until he sees him walking towards him and visibly relaxes when Tyler starts to talk him about an unrelated topic to his sister and shows him the first song from “In the heights”, Alex tells him he likes it and translates him some of the words that are in spanish and that Tyler has never been able to completely understand. 

When they are walking down the hall, Finn starts talking about how “cute” and “pretty” Elena is to Alex’s face, he doesn’t respond to him, instead he throws an arm around Tyler and takes him to a side away from the rest of the group and he whispers jokingly “Can you believe people are calling her cute and pretty when i’m obviously the pretty one in the family?”

As if on cue Tyler sees Elena walk by ignoring some boy and objectively speaking Elena is really REALLY cute but also again OBJECTIVELY speaking Alex is also very VERY cute and he could even go as far as to say that to him Alex is cuter than Elena.

Wait. What? 

He hasn’t finished processing his thoughts, when Alex nudges him and tells him “Stop drooling over my sister, you ass” .

Alex sounds slightly pissed off and Tyler doesn’t respond that he wasn’t, mostly because he would rather let Alex think that he likes his sister than telling him that he thinks he is cuter than her. 

And he is also sure that boys JUST don't think that their friends are prettier than other girls. 

Unless that boy is- 

Mr. White starts his class and Tyler peeps up letting those thought disappear in the back of his mind until lunch when Finn doesn’t want to throw away the trash even if it is his turn, Tyler just rolls his eyes and takes it there for him because Hugo is about to make a fucking pros and cons list and he is not up for that. 

He actually puts them away on the right bins this time and he can see Elena relaxing when he does that, her makeup is gone and her hair is up on a bun again, Tyler still thinks she looks cute even if she is smiling in a forced marner, he can see it turn a little genuine when she sees that he didn’t just throw it in the wrong bin like yesterday.

When he gets back to the table and Alex is making funny faces and imitating Mr.White, Tyler makes a joke about how he has probably kissed noone since 1777, Alex laughs making something in his heart flutter and Tyler can’t look at him for the rest of lunch. 

He doesn’t know what that is or what it might mean so he ignores it, he is able to until one day when he comes to school and sees Alex shaking his leg, visibly looking nervous and he hears him say “I don’t know, we woke up this morning and she was gone,i’m so worried, do you guys think that i can sneak out to go looking for her?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” Hugo said looking worried and putting his hand on his arm stopping him “you have no money or any idea of where to go”

“And Sister Barbara might chase you down and bring you back here” Finn said holding his other arm.

“What do you mean your abuelita runaway from home?” Cameron asks confused with a frown on his face as Tyler appears next to him and he is greeted with a a lame wave.

“She got into a fight with mami about not going to church on sunday” Alex said opening the pudding “Mami doesn’t want to go but Abuelita says that we have to go, it got a little out of control and she was just gone this morning, i couldn’t eat breakfast”.

“You haven’t eaten anything” Tyler said worried and taking out his sandwich from his backpack. 

“No, i can’t take your lunch-” Alex said shaking his head. 

“Come on,i promise it's good and it's not tuna or turkey, take it” he offer, Alex gives him another weak smile before receiving it, he doesn’t want to see him like that, he wants him to laugh even if every time he does, it makes him feel like he is going to go on cardiac arrest “Also you go to church every sunday? Wow, catholicism is wild” 

Alex laughs and there it is, that feeling again, it feels like internal screaming, he doesn’t know how to explain it but it’s there and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to leave any time soon, luckily he gets distracted because then Cameron and Hugo start talking about the jewish Shabbat before they turn to each other and go simultaneously “wait, you are jewish?” 

“Since they are having a moment” Finn said while Hugo and Finn continued talking “you are feeling better, we don’t have to tie you up to a chair or something?”

“No, it’s fine” Ale says shaking his head as he starts to eat his sandwich “MMM-this is good, thank your mom for me”

“My mom?” Tyler said somewhat startled. 

“Jill, right? or was it your other mom? i’m sorry i’m just not used to calling parents by their names-”

“Jill is not my mom” Tyler said shaking his head feeling somewhat awkward “my mom would need ouija board to make me a sandwich”. 

Now it feels like all of his friend’s eyes are on him, except for Cameron who looks confused, he is looking at them like “i thought you knew” because it’s just the way things have always been for him like “the sky is blue”, “the grass is green” and “tyler’s parents are dead”. He still remembers when he explained the situation and six year old Cameron responded with “OH LIKE BATMAN AND SPIDERMAN”, he continued listing a lot of other superheroes who were also orphans.

He doesn’t think that it’s going to happen this time.

Here is the thing it's not like Tyler is trying to hide that his parents are dead, he is not doing that, it's just that sometimes is awkward to tell people because they ask too many questions and all of them go on a rant about feeling bad for him and how sad it is and the thing is that leads to Tyler feeling bad because he doesn't feel sad. 

Yeah, sure, he has these days in which he wonders what his parents would have thought of him or how his life would have turned out if they hadn't died, how his siblings life would have turned out, after all Jill and Jason are the ones who had to step out as parents, in some ways he missed out on having them as siblings because they were casted in roles they weren't meant to play, he hates feeling that way because his siblings are doing their best, they had to stop having fun in their twenties because of him so he he is never going to let his siblings feel like they are not enough for him because they are, all three of them are in their own way, he is grateful for what he has and he really loves them.

But some nights he still wonders about his parents and the life he could never lived and the parents he never had but he’ll never say that outloud because he knows that the answer he’ll get is that he’ll find them in heaven and he just doesn’t believe in that, it doesn’t have any logic and it doesn’t make any sense. 

The point is that talking about his parents feels like opening a pandora’s box.

“Okay so listen my parents are dead” he said simply but he saw Alex almost choke on his sandwich, Finn looked instantly uncomfortable and Hugo look sad “You don’t have to be sad or worried or anything like that, i don’t remember them, they died when i was very young and i’m okay, i live with my sister Jill and her girlfriend Sarah who you guys have already meet and my brother Jason lives with his girlfriend Alyssa a few blocks away from my house, he visits often and my brother Jeremy lives in new york and he is great so don’t worry, alright?”.

They all nod somewhat awkwardly except for Cameron who gives him a trusting smile until Alex asks “so you don’t fight about going to church on sunday?”

“Oh, well, we don’t really fight or go to church” Tyler admitted with shrug.

“Wow lucky” Alex said in a way that made Tyler laugh “so you an are atheist?”

“Yeah, we are atheist” he responds nonanchaly, Alex nods before taking another bite of the sandwich.

“i think my parents are catholic but they are more capitalist than anything else” Finn says and they all bursts into laughter at once before the bell rings and they have to walk inside of the school.

After school, Jill asks him to go buy some stuff from the store so he takes his bike and puts on his headphones, he tries to do it as quick as possible but for some reason there is a long line, he doesn’t get why until he is finally in front of the cashier. 

He feels bad for the poor girl, she looks frustrated so he doesn’t try to do small talk just “Please” and “thank you”, he adds an “have a nice day” at the end for good measure, he puts his purchases on his basket but before he starts to bike home, he sees that Alex sent him a batman meme that said “what did an orphan say to each other? GET IN ROBIN”, he ends up blurting out a laugh and almost drops his bike, he is sends him a bunch of laughing crying emojis before asking how did everything turn out with his abuelita and he responds telling him that she is back home but that he hasn’t eaten yet because Schneider made them a very caucasian meal. 

He laughs again before wishing him good look and getting back on his bike but he doesn’t start his way back home because he looks at Alex’s picture and he thinks of the feeling he has on his belly every time he laughs, how he thinks his eyes are even more beautiful than the eyes of every single book protagonist that he has ever read and he shakes his head avoiding those thoughts for now. 

He stares at his screen before putting it on shuffle, he starts to pedal,he is pretty sure that he has never heard this one before until he recognizes the voice. 

Oh, that’s Judy Garland. 

But it’s not the wizard of Oz, it’s from another one of her musical movie. 

What was it? Something something St. Louis.

He does remember the name.

The trolley song.

He is distracted for a couple of seconds until the lyrics somehow drag his thoughts back into his head. 

He was quite the handsomest of men  
I started to yen so I counted to ten  
Then I counted to ten again

Ugh. 

He doesn’t need this right now, it’s not like he has to do it right now, he can wait, postpone it, right? 

What’s the hurry? 

Clang, clang, clang went the trolley  
Ding, ding, ding went the bell  
Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings  
From the moment I saw him I fell

Sometimes, Tyler thinks that the world must seriously, fucking seriously hate him, fucking song. 

Here is the thing is Tyler is not- 

Chug, chug, chug went the motor  
Bump, bump, bump went the brake  
Thump, thump, thump went my heart strings  
When he smiled I could feel the car shake

Boys are cute, he is willing to admit that, he knows that boys are objectively cute and so are girls, they are both very damn cute, that’s not on him. 

He tipped his hat, and took a seat  
He said he hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet  
He asked my name, I held my breath  
I couldn't speak because he scared me half to death

And Alex is again objectively speaking very cute, he is also very honest, kind, thoughtful, loyal and kind dreamy even if he claims that he is growing a mustache that Tyler swears is imaginary but he can’t like him,they are friends, he just can’t, okay? 

He can like Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones but he can’t like Alex.  
Honestly maybe this is just a fluke, he doesn’t like Alex, he just stares at him for much longer than he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to, he is just a friend who is just admiring another friend’s qualities besides best friends are supposed to be like this, right?

He is the same way with Cameron, Finn and Hugo, right? 

Of course, he doesn’t have that feeling in his stomach when they laugh, he doesn’t think about them the same way he thinks about Alex, he doesn’t-well, he misses them but it’s not the same and he doesn’t daydream about them-

The day was bright, the air was sweet  
The smell of honeysuckle charmed you off your feet

He doesn’t lay in bed at night,staring at his ceiling and force himself to think about something else because-

You tried to sing, but couldn't squeak  
In fact you loved him so you couldn't even speak.

He needs to stop thinking about this.

He doesn’t want to kiss Alex. 

He DOES NOT. 

No, nope, simply no, he did not sign up for this, he signed up for a nice friendship, he did not-this isn’t supposed to happen, Fuck.

That’s when a car comes out of nowhere, he tries to get out of the way but instead he gets out off his bike into the sidewalk,falling face forwards trying to stop it with his arm but he just fully crashes against it, he sees his glasses fall and just like that everything goes black. 

The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes flutter open is a very blurry Sarah sleeping on a couch that he can’t recognize in a room that he can’t recognize either

But why is everything so blurry? 

And why does it feel like he was crushed by a bus? 

"Oh, look who's up" he heard Alyssa say, he turned to the side and saw her with Jason standing next to her, he walked towards him and put his hand on top of his. 

"Hey buddy" Jason said, "how are you feeling?" 

"kind of dizzy, what happened?" 

"The year is 2045 and the president is robotic version of Donald Trump" he knew the person talking was Jill but he couldn't see where she was. 

"Don't freak the kid out, Jill" Sarah said with an sleepy voice. 

"Oh, hush this is how we bond" Jill said, he finally saw her and she ruffle his hair "I brought you jello, how are you feeling, honey?" 

"my everything hurts" he winced. 

"well, you had a pretty shit accident yesterday but guess what your friends are coming to visit you tomorrow" 

He doesn't have time to process the information because they hear a knock on the door. 

For a second he thinks it’s a doctor or a nurse but when Jill goes to open the door and he sees chocolatey waves of hair. 

Wait-IS THAT-

“JEREMY!” he yelled in shock, Jeremy has barely even said “Hi” to a shocked Jill before he runs towards to pull him into a hug that hurts a little but he can’t bring himself to care. 

“I was so worried” he said breathing into his hair and kissing his forehead, he might not have his glasses but he knows that he had cried, he doesn’t want him to be sad or worried about this, it’s not that bad. 

“It’s just a broken arm” but Jeremy didn’t let go, he eased his grip. 

“You also broke your nose” Jason announces to him “but we can worry about that later”.

The next day Jeremy insist on telling them to go to work, that he can take care of Tyler and receive his friends when they come to visit him but he disappear to buy Mcdonalds for him instead of eating the hospital food and he is sort of side eying his nurse and doctor. 

Then he shows him a picture of his friends and him, he has heard of them but with the exception of Cameron, this is the first time that he is ever going to see them. 

“Be nice to Finn, he can be a bit of a dick but he is not that bad”

“Fine” he responds without looking at him “and this one is Hugo, right?”

“Right” 

“And this one must be Alex” Jeremy says pointing at Alex’s face in the picture and Tyler nods even if he can feel his face heating up remembering what he was thinking before he fell of the bike, he hopes is not too noticeable but then Jeremy asks him “you okay?” 

“Yeah,i just remembered that i was listening to Judy Garland before i fell off my bike” 

“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high,There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby.” he starts to sing badly and shaking his shoulder in an overly humorous way, he looks ridiculous so he can’t help laughing. 

Then they heard a knock on a door. 

Jeremy walked to open the door, he could see him rubbing his eyes, he hadn't sleep well, the poor guy had to sleep on the floor. 

“you are Alex, right?” he hears him ask but there was no response until Cameron got there, casually waving at Jeremy and with a sharpie in his hand, Alex trailing behind him awkwardly but smiled brilliantly when he saw Tyler, then he gave Cameron a small glare when he signed the cast,Hugo and Finn arrived a couple of seconds later.

"Guys I'm so happy to see you, you all look so fucking blurry” he told them, they laughed before Jeremy ruffled his hair and told him to "have some fucking language". 

Then he saw that Mrs. Alvarez had drove them and Elena had gone with them,he introduce all of them to Jeremy and he shook hands with all of them before asking Mrs.Alvarez to please stay with him while he went to get him some Jello.

“Jello is made from boiled down cow carcass” Elena tells Jeremy who shrugs. 

“I know but he broke his arm and nose and he looks like someone stole his chin let the man have some jello” he responded before leaving. 

Right after he does, they all start fighting for the sharpie but Alex gets to it and leans next to him to sign his cast, he hears him whisper “just so you know the sharpie is mine and i was supposed to be the one to sign your cast first but Cameron stole it, he cheated!”. 

Tyler can’t help to just smile at him and telling “it's the thought that counts”. 

Alex rolls his eyes but still smiles at him before passing the sharpie to Hugo who writes his name in cursive, passes it to Finn next who writes his name too,his calypragy isn’t neat but who cares about that, Elena offers to sign his cast and as she does, she tells him “wow, your brother looks like an older version of you”: 

“No, he doesn’t” Alex said sounding protective shaking his head in disbelief like Elena had insulted him, he doesn’t get why, he wishes that he looked like Jeremy with his blue eyes, sharp jaw and cheekbones,his hair is better defined that his, tiner and straight but that’s only because he straightens it, Tyler doesn’t have the patience for that. 

Jeremy walks back inside of the room, seeing his friends huddle up together and a warm fond smile appears on his face. 

When they leave, Jeremy thanks Mrs. Alvarez for bringing them over and then he stands next to Tyler and as he plays with his hair, he says “i’m really glad you have friends like them”. 

“Yeah,” he said as he took a mouthful of jello “i’m happy to have them”. 

He lays next to him, takes his laptop from his backpack and they watch a movie, he eventually gets to go back home and Jeremy has to go back to college because he has already missed two days of class and Tyler has to go back to school and when he does. some people huddle up around him trying to sign his cast, he doesn’t get why but he lets them.

As Hugo talks about how he tried to ask Camila out on a date by asking her if she was free on sunday so now he is just going to go to clean beaches with her, Finn makes fun of him but Alex insist that it’s progress, Cameron snorts before talking about how Camila’s calligraphy is even better than Hugo’s but not as good as Amy’s and Tyler is in the middle of saying how he thinks it’s actually very romantic when Denise Falto comes over says that she is sorry about his arm, signs her name in a very little space in the cast before asking him “Hey, is it cool if i take some of your skittles?”

“Sure” he says smiling up at her as she takes five skittles and walks away. 

When she is officially out of sight, Finn leans in with a gigantic smile and says “What the hell was that?” 

“What?” he asks with a shrug before drinking a bit of his sprite.

“Dude, she likes you!” Finn nearly screams and he automatically kicks him before almost spitting his drink on his food, Cameron pats his back. 

“What?” he repeated this time this whole group echoed him. 

“She never takes my skittles! i was starting to think that she was lesbian!” 

“That’s not what being a lesbian is!” Tyler responds feeling bewildered. 

“Do you want me to set you up with her?”

“No!” he said strongly before going back to his lunch.

But of course Finn never listens, on saturday Cameron calls him and asks if he wants to go to the movies with him, he obviously says yes but then he brings up something else they are going to be going with some other people, that’s when he stops.

“Who?” he asks now wanting to take several steps back.

“Well you know how i like Amy” he said and Tyler nodded even if Cameron couldn’t see him, he got why, Amy seemed like a nice girl with pretty light brown hair and blue eyes and even nice calligraphy “well, she is going so is Finn and Betty-”

“Betty Lerman?” he asked back with a lifted eyebrow “is she that one girl that forced me to change seats during algebra because she wanted to sit next to Finn?”

“Yeah and-”

“Let me guess Denise Falto is also coming” 

“Yeah-”

“No, thanks”

“Oh come on, please” Cameron said pleadingly “just one day, please, please, please, do it for me, i’ll be your best friend”

“You are already my best friend but you are about to lose your title”

“PLEASE, JUST PLEASE” he keeps on begging.

“I’m not going, there is no way, no fucking way, okay?”

So of course he ends up going because Cameron insist too much and he doesn’t know how to say no and he really REALLY fucking needs to learn. 

“Thank you so much for coming” Cameron says as soon as he sees him. 

“You won’t regret this” Finn tells him. 

Tyler wants to tell him that he is never going to forgive him for this, that he is going to kill him, that ending up in a date with Denise is honestly is one of the worst things that one of his friends could ever do to him.

Okay, scratch that, that’s too mean. 

He wants to tell him that setting him up on a date with ANYONE, any BOY or any GIRL right now when he almost got run over by a car because he was too busy thinking that he might like Alex is one of the worst things that anyone could do to him.

“I hate you even more” he tells Finn who ignores him.

Denise walks in and she is wearing a black leather jacket with patches in the elbows that is zipped all the way up, she has a grey beanie in her head and it seems like they also called her last minute because she has sweat all over her face and as she talks to Amy, she puts her hands on her knees to rest and get more air.

She turns to his direction, she is frowning with a somewhat annoyed expression, she is obviously pissed, she doesn’t want to be here either, she walks towards him looking at his feet and chews her gum as she says “Hey,I like your socks”.

Tyler looks down and realizing that he is wearing mismatched socks. 

Oh, well fuck. 

He decides that they should at least make the best of it and offers to buy her candy and she nods.

Making the best of it proves to be harder than he thought it would be when Finn picks a shitty horror movie,he hates it and Denise doesn’t seem to be into it either, there are too many jump scares that are not even scary, just annoying and at one point when the monster pops up again, she holds his hand and leans towards him to tell him a joke, afterwards she doesn’t pull it away but her grip is loose enough for him to pull his hand away if he wants to. 

Her hands are cold,sticky and stiff, when he turns to looks at her face, he notices that her smile is also stiff but he doesn’t let go.

He only does it when the movie ends.

They end up “going out” for about a week. 

It’s not an objectively bad week, she convinces him of joining the theater club and they have a lot in common actually, except for the fact that Tyler doesn’t like sports, they both like the same music and the same movies, they both love comic books, they both have brothers who went to college and the more time they spent together, the more he realizes why they got set up, he understands in Finn’s brain he seriously thought that she would be the perfect girl for him and in some ways she could be but there is only one problem, he doesn’t want to hold her hand or kiss her and felt more when Alex asked him if she was officially his girlfriend and he tried to look for a hint of jealousy before responding “i don’t know”. 

On friday the day after he gets his cast off,she asks him if he can come over to hang out because her mom wants to meet him and he says yes because he doesn’t know how to say no and meeting the parents is a thing people who date do, right?

He goes to her house after school, the first thing that happens when they get to her house is that her mom tries to take pictures of them together and he is not sure how to react but he still agrees, Denisse apologizes to him on her behalf but he responds that he is cool, after that they sit on her bed, take off their shoes and end up sitting on opposite sides of the bed eating cake that his mom just bought and they do minimal eye contact as they watch a ouija board movie.

“Hey” she says out of the blue looking down at her hands “Can i kiss you?”

Tyler sits there for a few seconds somewhat frozen almost choking on a piece of cake, he is not sure of what to answer because he is sure that he is probably going to be bad at kissing but after a second he nods and says “sure, why not?”. 

She stops the movie, they look at each other and lean in at the same time, she tastes like the cake they had just eaten and he likes cake so that was nice but he still didn’t felt anything when she kissed him, it was short, messy, and awkward, and a little gross, as most first kisses are but he remembers pulling away and thinking "huh so this is what the fuss was about? that’s it?”

They pull away for a second and she seems like she puts the movie again, it seems like everything is fine until he notices that her eyes have started watering and he doesn’t know if he should console her or not because when he tries to reach for her her hand but she pulls away from him. 

“I’m sorry, i don’t-” she said with an uneasy tone of voice “I don’t like you, i’m sorry”. 

“It’s okay” he says not sure of what else to add, he wants to pull her into a hug but he doesn’t think that’s what she wants “do-”

“I’m okay, i’m fine” she insisted cleaning her face “I just this is weird-i’m sorry”

“It is” he agrees offering his hand “Friends?”

“Only if you stay in theater club”

“Deal”

They shake hands and that’s that. 

Things go back to normal on monday, he tells his friends that they called things off and that they are just friends, he swears that for a second he sees Alex’s smile but he is not sure if it’s just his imagination. 

During lunch,Betty makes a joke about how Denisse probably broke up with him because he was too ugly which he is honestly not that offended by that but then she says “his parents probably didn’t die, they just killed themselves because of how ugly he was”. 

He doesn’t know how to respond to that, he just throws his arm around Cameron stopping him from standing up from the cafeteria table but turns out that he doesn’t have to do anything because Finn breaks up with her in front of everyone and he doesn’t have to say anything else. 

Tyler has to stifle a laugh not because he thinks this is too funny, he was just nervous and the laugh escaped him, of course Betty doesn't see it that way and tells him that his laughter sounds like a pig eating. 

He ignores her at the moment but every time he laughs in class, someone mentions that joke to the point that he is scared of laughing or even just making sounds, not like they just laugh at the way he sounds,his smile is the next thing that gets attacked mostly because of his teeth and a few weeks ago, a guy from the baseball team called him a gremlin and now all guys are calling him that until Marina creates a new “nickname” for him calling him "betty la fea", he justs flips her off. 

She starts to call him that during class too which means that he can’t flip her off but before he even turns around, he hears the new girl Amanda turns around annoyed telling her to shut the fuck up.

Amanda ends up joining the drama club and they becomes friends, he even asks her to eat lunch with him and the guys, she is somehow sarcastic and really snarky but still very polite and he thinks that she is just cool and it seems they all like her-

“Hey, i think Alex and Amanda like each other” Finn tells him and just like that it feels like it should be one of those movie moments in which he could drop to his knees in and scream to the floor or at least everything should stop for a few seconds to let him process to let it sink in. 

“What?” he asks hoping not to sound as deflated as he felt, he turn to look at them, they are leaning against the lockers and holding hands lightly and it feels like something is stuck on his throat like he is choking on his own sadness.

“You have to help me set them up” Finn insists unaware of how Tyler’s heart is breaking by the second. 

“Sure” he says forcing a smile on his face.

He keeps that forced smile until that afternoon, Finn’s plan is to tell Alex that it’s going to be a group hang out and then bail at last minute so that they can be alone together, some of them still have to show up to make sure that Alex doesn’t have to suspect anything. 

So Tyler has to show up and see the boy that he likes date his friend. 

Friend that he introduced her to. 

It feels like the floor is opening right where is standing, like the earth is swallowing him and he is sinking when Amanda arrives and he fakes stomach ache before walking away as fast as he can to the point that he starts running until he sees an applebees, goes in and locks himself inside of the bathroom. 

He felt comfortable enough to let out a sad and desperate sound, his entire body was trembling and tears had started to run down his face when he heard a knock on the door. 

“OCCUPIED” he yelled back quickly covering his mouth once he was done, trying to stifle the sound of his sobs.

“Tyler, it’s me” Cameron said knocking on the door again. 

Shit. 

“In a minute” he responded, his voice was quavery. 

SHIT. SHIT.SHIT. 

He tried to calm down, clean his tears and even flushed just in case that Cameron was listening closely and took a long breath before opening the door, Cameron had this concerned look trying desperately to make eye contact with him but he just looked away as he walked to the sink. 

“Man, i don’t know what i ate” he said trying to change the topic to wash his hand “total case of explosive dia-”

“You have been weird lately” Cameron stopped him before he finish the sentence “this week especifically”

“I’m okay, just a bad case of-” 

“I thought it was about Amanda, that you might like her-”

“I don’t” he shook his head, turning to look at him. 

“I know that this isn’t about Amanda” Cameron said grabbing a toilet paper and cleaning Tyler’s face, for a second he wanted to push him away, he didn’t want to talk about this right now and if Cameron knows then that means that more people could know. Alex could know “This is about Alex, isn’t it?” 

“I-” he said giving a step back and shake his head but there was nowhere to run he was cornered against the sink. 

“You like Alex” he says, it’s not a question, there is no “right?” or “don’t you?” at the end, it’s an statement, he tries to shake his head or blubber out an answer but when he tries to open his mouth nothing comes out. 

He shuts his eyes close as he feels the fresh tears on his cheeks and feels Cameron cleaning them with a different piece of paper, for some reason that makes him want to cry even more.

“It’s okay” Cameron says in this soft tone of voice as he finished cleaning his face “i’m going to hug you now, okay?” 

“Okay” he responds as Cameron throws his arms around him, hugging him fiercely and Tyler hugs him back. 

They stay like that for a while, his head leaned against the top of Cameron’s head, he can feel his silky hair against his cheek and he has his head buried on Tyler’s neck, he rested his arms loosely around his neck and he could feel Cameron rubbing his back and he opens his eyes finally and slowly.

“You are my best friend, nothing could ever change that, you know?” Cameron says lifting his head from where he buried it in Tyler’s neck.

“Yeah, i know” he said smiling as they pull away from each other, he wants to explain that it wasn’t about that, that he had just started to admit it to himself, that he is not embarrassed but he is not ready to tell people yet but what he says instead is “You are my best friend too”.

“I know” he said smiling before a grimace formed on his face “i’m sorry”

“What? Why?” he asks confused. 

“For making you go on a date with Denisse, i swear i didn’t-”

“Oh, that’s okay, it’s fine” he says shaking his head and swaying his head “i’m-i like girls and boys, i’m bi and she was great but i’m not ready to date anyone so don’t set me up EVER AGAIN, okay?”

“Okay, i promise” Cameron nods smiling “also you being bi, that’s great,congrats”

“Thanks” he says before they both huff out a laugh. 

“Do you want to go for ice cream? it’s on me”

“Yeah, let’s go” 

Cameron cancels his date with Amy and they drink two separate milkshakes, Tyler gets strawberry and Cameron gets one of Vanilla, he even stays over, usually they are able to stay up until 2 a.m. but this time, they fall asleep watching the first movie of transformers (the best one but not good enough to keep them up). 

He wakes up when his cell phone rings and he sees Alex’s name and for a second his brain screams HE KNOWS as he answers the call. 

“Honestly you are a dick” Alex says, it’s unexpected but he’ll go with it.

“Okay?”

“You know how shitty is to get involved on Finn’s shitty cupid antiques, you should have given me a warning”

“You are right, i’m a dick” he said because Alex was right, after all Cameron asked him and he should have at least given him a warning “i’m sorry”

He was quiet for a few seconds before he backtracked “Oh, don’t use that voice, you are not a dick, i forgive you”.

“Thank you,now is everything alright or did you seriously called just to tell me i’m a dick?” he asks because maybe Alex really needs someone to talk to “not that i don’t deserve to be called a dick but-”

“I’m not ready for a girlfriend” he says out of the blue, Tyler smiles to himself and feels relief because god knows that he wouldn’t have been able to do what he did today again 

“that’s not weird, right? Mi mami says it’s not weird but-”

“It’s not weird, Alex” he insist before Alex says anything else.

“it’s just that-”

“i’m not ready to date either, do you think i’m weird?”

“Well, i do think you are weird but it’s not because you are not ready to date”

“There you go, you are not weird and if anyone says otherwise i’ll kick their asses, okay?” He hears him laugh at the other side of the line and something flutters inside of him. 

“Oh my hero” Alex said still huffing out a laugh “so i’ll guess it’ll be just us for a while, huh?” 

“What?” he asks somewhat confused. 

“Since Cameron, Hugo and Finn have girlfriends now, it’s just us” 

“Yeah, i guess it’ll be just us” he smiled to himself before he noticed something was off “wait, Finn has a new girlfriend?”

“Yep”

“Jesus christ” 

When they hang up, Tyler goes for a blanket to cover himself and Cameron but all he can think about before falling asleep is the way that Alex said “Us” but then all he can think is “don’t get your hopes up”. 

When the first thing Alex does when he sees him on Monday is pulling him away from the group, he repeats“Don’t get my hopes up” in his head like a mantra. 

“Okay, i need your help?”

“Sure but why are you whispering?” he asks as he turns around to look back at their group, they are too distracted talking about their theory of how Mr.White is having an affair with Mrs. Hopkins to notice that they just walked away.

“Has Cameron mentioned the baseball fundraiser?” he asks and Tyler shakes his head “that’s great so he hasn’t picked up his chocolate bars yet, right?” 

“I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about” he answers honestly. 

“There is this baseball fundraiser in which what you have to do is sell chocolate bars, the person with the most sales gets a playstation, do you understand now?”

“Yeah, i do but i don’t get what that has to do with me-”

“Abuelita usually just sells hers at church and mami sells her at work but now they want me to do it myself because it will be more gratifying or something” he explained rolling his eyes “and i kind of want some help in other words i need a right hand man”

“Hamilton references will get you nowhere with me” Tyler responds even if he knows he is going to give in. 

“Please, Tyler, pretty please” he insists, he swears he is batting his eyelashes and life is honestly so unfair, does he know? is that why he is doing that-

No, no, he doesn’t know, Alex doing puppy dog eyes is always his go-to.

“Alright” he says nodding “but don’t remind Finn of this because you know that he is just going to ask his parents to buy the boxes for him". 

"Has anyone tell you that you are brilliant?" he says holding up one hand for a high five, and after a second,he slaps his own against it.

When it’s time to eat lunch, Alex mentions how it feels like Carmen has moved in to his house lately and that it feels like Elena has grown a second head but that if he had to choose he’ll take her over Elena any day, of course that’s when Finn insist that Alex must have a crush on Carmen and he rolls his eyes immediately. Cameron turns to look at him for a second with a worried glance before going back to eating.

At one point when Finn has gone to the bathroom, Hugo remembers their baseball fundraiser thing and Cameron turns to Tyler about to ask him something but that’s when Alex throws his arm around him as he says that he already asked for his help. 

“That’s cheating!” Hugo said pointing at them “Mr.Wolf said that-”

“He said that we couldn’t help each other, he didn’t mention people that aren’t in the team couldn’t help us” 

“traitor” Cameron goes with a fake tone of betrayal and pointing at him with a fork. 

“Snooze, you lose” Alex responds pulling Tyler closer to him.

“Sorry” Tyler tries and Cameron just looks back at him before shaking his head as if saying don’t worry about it and he knows it’s genuine.

The next day Alex tells him that he was able to sell part of of the first box to his mom’s co-workers but he still has a lot to sell so Tyler brings him to his sister’s softball team practice to sell the chocolate bars to them, they all end up buying them so they only have another box to go.

So they go around the neighborhood and this time it proves to be a more difficult because people don’t seem to be that interested in the chocolates, they actually get the door closed in their faces in repeated occasions but a couple of old ladies take pity on them and buy ten, they are about to try again when Alex says “so how do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?” he asks confused “you do the pitch and if it doesn’t work i try a sad sob story, we have been doing that for two hours now-”

“No, i mean if we win the playstation how do you want to share it?” he asks smiling and Tyler stop himself “i thought that i could have it one week and you another”

“like share custody?”

“Yeah, it’ll be like our child” he mentions so casually and so unaware.

“Well, i-”

“I know we haven’t won yet but i think we have a pretty good shot, don’t you think?”

He is not sure of what to say, because there has to be a nice way to say that he doesn’t want to share playstation with Alex, mostly because he doesn’t need a playstation, he only plays videogames with Cameron and he knows that Alex will use it more than him and he wanted him to have it, it wasn’t about him, he just wanted Alex to be happy. 

He wanted to win it for him.

Now he just has to find a no homo way to say that. 

“I-don’t want it” he said nervously and Alex frowned “i wanted it for you”.

SHIT. 

“Wait? Really?” he asks confused lifting his eyebrows.

“Yeah, i-my brother Jeremy, he said he’ll buy me one so i don’t need one” he said thinking to himself how the fuck was his brother who was a college student is going to get him one with his minimum wage waiter salary “so-”

“So you did all of this for me?” he asks looking somewhat touched. 

“Yeah, that’s what friends are for” he replies simply feeling like his heart was in his throat when Alex doesn’t say anything else, just looks at him with a frozen smile. 

“You are an amazing friend, you know that right?” is all that Alex says beaming at him.

“I actually do” Tyler said turning around trying to hide the fact that he is blushing “come on, let’s go, next house”. 

Alex doesn’t call him during the weekend so he assumes they- NO, not they, there is not a “THEY”- he thought that Alex lost so he doesn’t bring it up but then on monday, Alex says “guess who has two thumbs and owns a playstation? THIS GUY!”.

“Congratulations!” He turns around to pulls him into a hug, for a second he worries that he is hugging him for too long but when he tries to pull away, Alex doesn’t let him so he just keeps on hugging him, as they finally let go because it’s time to get to class, Alex stops him again by taking a out a piece of chocolate cake that it’s inside of a tupperware and a note on top of it that says in big bold letters “WE WON!!!”. 

He keeps that note inside of his IT book from stephen king and takes it out only to look at that note, when Jill asks him why he is smiling while reading that book, he panics and tells her that it’s because he likes violence.

When they do the Cinderella musical in the school and he has to play the prince, he tries to look at Mackenzie the same way he looks at that note.

They are in the middle of rehearsal when he sees Cameron, Finn and Hugo jumping outside of the window looking slightly crazy, Mackenzie notices them there too so they fake an excuse that Mrs. Hopkins actually buys and lets them go outside for a second. 

“What the fuck?” Tyler asks as they both get out of the teather. 

“You know how you two are my best friends?” Cameron starts after Finn nudges him.

“Oh my god, who did you kill?” Mackenzie said tilting her head to a side. 

“No one!” he defended himself. 

“Listen, Alex is late to the game, we need a distraction before the other team arrives” Hugo explains quickly checking behind him trying to make sure that the bus hadn’t arrived then “you guys think that you can help us out?”

Mackenzie and him look at each other and back a them, the three of them are staring at them with huge puppy dog eyes. 

They nod but not without some necessary eye rolling. 

“we are good friends” Tyler tells her. 

“We need to start being bad ones” Mackenzie responds as they see the bus of the other team there coming in.

Tyler fake faints right in front of the bus, he has his eyes close while Mackenzie keeps on shaking him and he can hear fake cry while the coach of the team says that he will come to look for a teacher to get them help but he is going to come back for the team later. 

“Get up, Alex is here” Mackenzie said into his ear, he almost jumps up and the other team looks pissed so she grabs his hand as they both start to run on an opposite direction, he can see Alex crawling out of his trunk. 

Jesus, the team is not going to let that go. 

When they finish rehearsal, he can see that the game is not done yet so he sits on the bleachers next to Elena who looks incredibly bored, he leans to her side and asks her “So who is winning?” 

“Don’t know and don’t care” she said, still looking ahead “but i’m more worried about how he is going to react when he realizes that he ripped his pants”. 

“Oh no” he said seeing that Alex had hole on the side of his pants. 

They win the game, he can tell by how they are celebrating and then he sees the horror dawn on Alex’s face when realizes that his pants are ripped so Tyler takes out the hoodie that he has inside of his backpack and gives it to him. 

“Thank you” he mumbles slightly flushed and embarrassed “but i don’t think i need it-Elena, where is mom?”

“Mrs. Resnick was towed, she had to take it to take it to Hector, she’ll be back soon” she said and Alex looked defeated as he takes Tyler’s jacket.

“I’ll go get your bags from the locker room, okay?” Hugo offers and Alex nods as he walks away.

“Aww look butt-trunk boy has a boyfriend” a kid from the other team yells as he leaves, he is behind the grid and pointing at them.

“HEY DICK HEAD” Cameron screamed making the guy slightly startled “AT LEAST HE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND DOESN’T HAVE THE VOICE OF ADAM SANDLER ON HELIUM AND THE FACE OF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AFTER A HANGOVER”.

“WHATEVER YOU SHORTY-”

“WOW THAT’S ORIGINAL, IT’S GOOD TO KNOW YOU ARE JUST NOT UGLY BUT ALSO STUPID, THE WHOLE PACKAGE” he responds as the guy flips him off and walks away “Asshole”.

“Aw, look it’s butt-trunk boy and the gremlin-” Trey said but Cameron gave him a warning look and he walked off.

“fucking dick” Cameron said before walking towards the locker room “i’m going to get my backpack”.

Eventually they all leave, Lilly and Hannish come to pick up Cameron, Finn’s chauffeur is there, Hugo’s dad is there to take him home and Tyler should be heading home already but he stares back at visibly deflated Alex and instead offers to take him out for ice cream. 

“I don’t have any money” he said with a sad shurg.

“I just did an essay for Jennifer so i do” he offers before remembering that Elena was there “and one for you too, Elena”. 

“Alright” she said standing up.

They walk there and he actually gets to cheer him up as he asks Alex more and more questions about baseball, he doesn’t really understand anything that he is saying, not really but he just cares about the way that Alex’s eye light up when he does, it doesn’t even hurt that much when he mentions that soon enough he’ll be a famous player who dates famous models. 

It only stings a little. 

When Alex’s mom arrives, he gives him back his hoodie and he puts it on, when he is on his way home, he can smell Alex’s scent on it, he thinks of keeping it like this before he puts it on the dirty laundry but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about how Alex’s eyes light up when he talks about baseball even if he had no idea what came out of his mouth, it’s not his fault that he doesn’t care about baseball or sport in general. 

But he could try, right? Why not?

He should just find basic information about the game to understand it. 

Surprisingly he ends up knowing enough to tell Alex what he needs to do during the next game and when he wins, he looks back at him with this blinding smile, that he feels like he is harnessing the energy of a thousand exploding stars, he tries to hide from Schneider who is smiling like a proud father. 

He decides that he is totally going to learn more about baseball. 

After the team wins, Alex buys him an ice cream as a thank you and for a second he can feel-

No, don’t get your hopes up. 

“Hey, can i ask you a question?” Alex says as he eats his ice cream. 

“Well technically you just did” Tyler responds as Alex rolls his eyes “sure, ask?”

“What do you know about lesbians?” he asks and Tyler starts blinking confused by the questions.

“What do you mean?” he asks back even more confused.

“Like your sister is a lesbian and i feel like you know a lot of them” he says with a shrug.

“I mean-what do you mean?” he asks confused but Alex just keep on staring at him completely focused “well, all lesbians are different, they are not all wearing flannels, owning  
cats and like to watch-”

“Buffy?” Alex offers him.

“Sarah does like Buffy” he admits “but i was going to say the l word-still, that’s not the point, what i meant was that everybody is different, okay?” 

“Okay” he replied but then he asked again as they return to their ice cream.

The ironic part is that Tyler can’t stop thinking about it, no matter how quickly the subject was dropped, what did he wanted to know? And why did he wanted to know? 

He knew that Alex wasn't one of those gross guys who watch lesbian porn and sexualize the women there (mostly because Alex is afraid his mom would catch him but still) so why would Alex want to know about lesbians? 

When Elena starts dating Josh, Tyler thinks about that conversation even more and more, not because she is dating Josh especifically but because of the way Alex gushes about him. 

At the beginning he is jealous because Alex talks about Josh the same way he talks about girls that he likes like Gina Rodriguez but then something clicks inside of his head, something that gives him hope. 

Because If Alex talks about boys the same way he talks about girls, maybe then he has a chance. 

But still he shouldn’t get his hopes up because even if Alex liked guys, he would never like guys like him, he would like guys like Josh Flores who is handsome, confident and looks amazing on his baseball uniform, he would never even look at Tyler in that way. 

And even if he did, he wouldn’t know what to do about it. 

Like if Alex liked guys, if he liked him-

Not like that’s ever going to happen but god, if he did. 

That’s of course when Alex grabs his hand underneath the table, he turns to look at him, trying not to make it too obvious for the teacher who is probably checking his facebook page on his computer,ironically he has a rule that you can’t see your personal stuff in the computer lab but Alex is already listening to a different song with his headphones carefully hidden. 

He lets go of his hand and he offer Tyler on earbud and he takes it, putting his hand on top of it before hearing the first notes of something that sounded a lot like a romantic song, he looks over Alex’s shoulder seeing that he was listening to a song called “me enamora”, he checks the name on google translator only to see that it means “it makes me fall in love”. 

Wait-

The bell rings and Alex stands up, taking his stuff before turning to him asking him “ready to go?”

“I’ll be out in a second, go ahead” he responds fidgeting with his hands,Alex looks at him like he doesn’t want to go without him but still goes and Tyler needs to talk to someone about this because maybe he is thinking about this too much, maybe it’s all on his head and-

He shouldn’t get his hopes up.

But he still needs to talk to someone. 

Right now otherwise he’ll chicken out and he’ll spent too much time awake in the middle of the night and what’s the point of that. 

He sends two messages to Jeremy because he has probably been through this before, the first one is automatic: How do you know if a boy likes you?

And then he remembers and adds: I like boys by the way. 

After that he goes to the cafeteria to eat his lunch, they are talking about going to movies next to week and when it’s time to go to the class they still haven’t decided and he says he’ll vote when he they are down to two choices. 

Tyler sits down and feels someone repeatedly kicking his seat, he tries to shrug it off but it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore, when the class is over, he turns around to find out that the guy is Kevin and he is about to ask the guy “what the fuck is going on?” but when he stands up, he shoves him back on the seat and mutters only loud enough for him to listen “Move, you fucking fag.”

He says it mockingly like he thinks it’s funny, hilarious even but Tyler stays there frozen. 

Wait-did he close session? 

Fuck, he never closed session. 

How did he fucking forget to close session?

He shakes his head, no, maybe that guy was just saying it to be a dick, some guys just think that saying word is just funny so he tries to act like nothing even happened, he forgets about it when Jeremy calls him sounding so excited when he answers the phone. 

“I just saw your message” he says sounding so incredibly excited, he can imagine him getting to his room and laying on his bed “dude, oh my god”

“Yeah” he says sitting on his desk “i know”. 

“God, congrats, thank you for telling me” he said, he could hear him changing his position on “i can’t believe i finally have someone to talk about boys with in this fucking family”.

“YAY” he says laughing softly.

“Alright so speaking of boys, who is this guy you like?” he asks sounding interested and curious. 

“Do you remember my friend Alex?” he answer hesitantly. 

“Oh, so you like jocks then?” he responds teasingly. 

“He is not a jock” 

“Isn’t he like the pitcher of your baseball team or something like that?”

“Yeah but-”

“Then he is a jock” 

“Alright, he is a jock, so what?” he said slightly exasperated but Jeremy only sounded amused “but that’s not the point” 

“Okay, what’s the point, kid?”

“I don’t-i think i’m getting my hopes up over nothing, i just-” he sighed feeling weird, he hadn’t talk about this with anyone, not even cameron “i’ll do anything for him which i  
know it might sound like a little too much but i mean it one hundred percent, okay?”

“I believe you” he responded immediately. 

“and i tried to deny it because having a crush on him is the last thing i want, i think that if he finds out he'll think I'm creep and I'm going to lose him forever and then I'll lose Hugo and Finn and-"

“Listen, i think Alex is smart and he wouldn’t let something like that ruin your friendship, now i’m not telling you to tell but i do want you to know that you are not a creep, you are just experiencing your first crush, you like someone and that’s it, okay?” 

“Okay but-”

“Not buts”.

“Alright, no buts” he admitted but he doesn’t get it completely “i do have to tell you that i did something kind of stupid”

“Oh my god, what?”

“I told him you were going to buy me a playstation-”

“Why would you tell him that?” he says almost laughing “were you trying to impress-”

“What? No! he wanted us to share a play station he won at a baseball fundraiser” he sounded more frustrated than he expected.

“Oh my god, what a dick” Jeremy responded sarcastically. 

“No, you don’t get it, he said that it would be like our child” 

“The nerve” he said even more sarcastically “the audacity”

“Ugh, you don’t-”

“No, i do” he interrupted him “you don’t want to get your hopes up and he is being all sweet and nice to you, it hurts, i get it, i also had my share of crushes on straight guys”

“Yeah” he said frowning he doesn’t remember Jeremy having that many friends in high school, let alone a boyfriend “what happened?”

“Nothing happened, i just moved on and you will too” he tells him comfortingly. 

“So when did you get a boyfriend?” he asks. 

“I’ll let you know when it happens” Jeremy says, he can somehow hear him shrugging “i just have been casually dating, i’m waiting to meet the right person and i also want to tell you that none of us dated until we got to college, not me, not Jill and not Jason”

“So i’m going to wait until i get to college to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?” 

“I’m saying don’t try to rush yourself into something you are not ready for, promise me that, okay?”

“Alright, i promise” 

“And that you’ll wait for the right person”

“Okay” he says shrugging.

“No, not okay, you promise that you’ll wait for the right person”

“Sure, i’ll wait, i promise” 

“Good, it’s what mom and dad would want” he says so casually like the mention of their parents is not going to throw Tyler into a loop “listen, i have to go but i love you, okay?”

“Okay” he said quietly “Love you too”. 

It feels like life goes on and things are moving on but then he gets a message on facebook, a sunday before a math exam when he gets a message from Kevin, it just says “hi” and he can see he is writing, he is about to close session before the next message appears, of course the next word was “faggot” and the third message appeared asking for him to give him the answers of the test tomorrow. 

He blocked him immediately, his hands were shaking in anger, not sure of what else to do, he wished that he had done this face to face so that he could punch him right in the face hard, he was angry, too fucking angry. 

“Fucker” he says out loud startling Butch who was resting on his lap “Sorry, not you, never you”.

He closed his computer a little too hard for a second he is worried that he might have broken something but he doesn’t check it, it feels like he is frozen on the spot, he has completely forgot about anything else, there is a part of him that just wants to just unblock him and just let him copy him off during the test tomorrow but fuck him, he won’t do that, he won’t give him all that fucking power, who knows for how long he’ll use it against him? what garanties that he’ll drop it after one test? 

But what else is he supposed to do let him take that moment away from him? 

He can’t do that either. 

It’s just not fucking fair, it’s just not, he doesn’t want to come out to everyone, he was still slowly getting ready to tell his friends but the whole school knowing about it, that’s too much,he can’t, what if the teachers find out? what if-

“Hey dinner is ready” Jill says opening the door and Butcher jumps out of his lap and goes towards her buying him some time to fix his expression but before he knows it, his sister is leaning in asking him “are you okay?”

He wants to say yes and tell her that it’s nothing but when he opens his mouth and he sees those worried brown eyes identical to his, the tears that he has been eyes from falling start pouring out his eyes, he tries to speak but it’s like he is only making sounds because he doesn’t make sense, however it seems like Jill knows what he is talking about because she puts her arms around him, hugging him tightly and pressing frantic kisses to his hair and forehead, when he hugs her back, he squeezes her so tight that it must hurt but she doesn’t complain or pull away from him, she just holds him and for the first time in these minutes of full terror, he feels safe again.

When they pull away, she is cleaning his tears and kisses his forehead and as he does, he finally says out loud “I like boys, i’m bi”. 

He almost smiles to himself because his voice didn’t waver, he didn’t stutter, it came out and it sounded so right. 

He just wished that things had been different. 

“I knew i had made your favorite for a reason today” she said with her hands on his face, she had this fond smile on her face “god, when did you get so big?”

“You are still taller” he says still sniffing but laughing at the same time. 

“Not for long, god, you are growing up” she says time, it looks like her eyes are watering and she puts her hands on his shoulders like she does every time something that she has to say is important “i’m very proud of you”. 

“Thank you” he says smiling to himself as they walk towards the kitchen. 

“You know when i came out, mom and dad actually baked a cake, it burned but i think that it’s sweet that they tried, mom and Sarah went to bought a new one” she explained ruffling with his hair “mom really loved Sarah, you know?”

“Yeah” he says even if he has never heard that before.

“i think she was expecting for us to get together since we were in high school” she told him shaking her head “Dad was just an overprotective father who didn’t want me to date at all but when i turned 15 he just said that the only straight i needed to be was an straight A+ student”

He laughed at that, who would have thought that his dad was the kind to do dad jokes.

“and when Jason brought Alyssa home for the first time, she was starting her transition at that point and i remember that dad pulled him aside and told him that he was proud of him for being a real man that is never embarrassed of the woman he loves” she explains with such an ease, Tyler can’t stop thinking what his parents would have said to him right now, it seems like she can read his mind because the next thing she says is “and if they were here today they would have been so proud of you too”. 

He feels choked up and hugs her again, crying again for a different reason and then the door opens up and Sarah walks in with Alyssa and Jason quickly following behind her, they all look at him with questioning eyes, the three of them look worried when they see him cry but he just waves them off before saying “i just came out, not big deal, well it was more like a BI deal”. 

Tyler cringes to his own pun but then Sarah hurries towards him to pull him into a hug and a kiss on his forehead, Alyssa looks for a place to leave her stuff before also hugging him, Jason is the last one, he ruffles his hair before pulling him into a final hug.

They eat the spaghetti meatballs before watching some tv, Alyssa falls asleep on the couch and Sarah and Jill go to their room, they looked so tired, Tyler gets back to his room because he still has to think about what he is going to do tomorrow, when Jason walks inside of his room with a smile on his face and asks “do you want to go get ice cream?”

“It’s twelve o’clock” he says checking his watch “and i’m on my pajamas”

“Grab a jacket and let’s go”

“I have a test tomorrow” he is still getting his jacket and putting on his sneakers.

“We’ll be back soon” Jason says with another shrug.

They leave quietly and get to an ice cream shop that it’s still open, he sits down and waits for him to order for them, he comes back with an ice cream cone and a double fudge chocolate sundae and he says "it's a sundae because you are our son-gay". 

Tyler blinks in shock because he wasn’t expecting that but he also laughs, he is about to correct him and remind him that well he is bi but Jason shakes his head also laughing “i asked for a banana split,well i was going to call it a BInana split but they were out of that”. 

He laughs before starting to eat his ice cream and that’s when Jason says “it’s what mom and dad would have done, they would have been proud of you kid”. 

“I know” he says reminding himself of what Jill said.

“I also want to give you some news”

“Sure, tell me-wait you are not moving are you?”

“What? No!” he said shaking his head before giving him a genuine smile “kind of the opposite, i’m going to have a kid”

“Really?” he responded shocked but happy “when?”

“We are going to adopt soon, we were supposed to give the news today but-”

“Shit man, i’m sorry” 

“No, don’t be sorry” he says shaking his head and shrugging but he can see that gigantic blinding smile,obviously happy to share this news with someone.

“Dude congratulations” he said standing up and pulling his brother into a hug “you are going to be an amazing dad”. 

He doesn’t mention that he thinks that in some ways Jason is already an amazing dad, he just finishes his ice cream and goes home to sleep soundly, forgetting about Kevin until tomorrow morning, that’s when he finally gets an idea. 

He wants the answers, fuck him, he’ll give him the answers. 

He felt a ripple of unease as soon as Kevin sits next to him, he answers his exam with the wrong answers and Kevin copies him off, he acts like he is going to turn it in until the last second when he sees that Kevin just dropped the paper, he turns his hills and goes back to his seat to change all of his answer, he can see that he is being glared at but all Tyler can think is “FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.”

His exam isn’t great, he is sure that he got a B- but he is SO SURE that Kevin just go an F which is what he wanted, when it’s time for lunch, Cameron is walking next to him but he is barely listening because he is not sure if he is ready but he doesn’t want someone else to tell people for him, this is his moment, maybe it’s not how he wanted but it has to be his, not someone else’s. 

“Hey so we have finally narrow it down to two options, your vote decides it so it’s wonder woman or guardians of the galaxy-” Hugo is saying but Tyler interrupts him.

“I’m bi” he says so loudly that probably the whole room just heard him, his friends stare at him surprised, Cameron looks slightly confused but comforting at the same time, Hugo blinks nodding accepting the new information, Alex puts down his sandwich and Finn almost chokes on his soda. 

“Alright, we are watching wonder woman then” Alex says making him laugh and feel at ease as he sits down and Cameron takes a seat next to him “she is bi, right? i think elena said something”

“Yeah but i kind of told Sarah and Jill that i was going to watch it with them so he should probably watch guardians” he says, Alex groans as Hugo celebrates with Cameron.

“You can still watch it with Elena” Cameron said with a shrug “buy tickets for her as a coming out present”

So that’s why Alex asked.

“Do you get presents for coming out?” Alex said confused. 

“No but you totally should, it’s an stressful time” Hugo says and Tyler just nods along and Cameron looks back at him thoughtfully before smiling.

The day continues, he gets some stares, some comments and some shoves but he makes it out alive, when rehearsal is over, he walks towards the guys who must be leaving, he sees them huddle up to the side like they are trying to listen to something, he sees why in a second Amy and Cameron seem to be fighting, she looks furious and he doesn’t look happy either. 

“CAN’T YOU SEE THAT HE WANTS ME OUT OF THE WAY” she yells,Tyler narrows his eyebrows in confusion because he has no idea what she is talking about but then he realizes who when she notices that he is there and she snorts with despite before saying “what the fuck are you looking at?”

Cameron turns to look at him with an expression that screamed that he didn’t want Tyler to see this, Alex seems to realize this because reaches him, trying to take his hand in any other occasion, he would have let him but right now he gives a step back, feeling like all eyes are on him. 

“YEAH, YOU SHOULD LEAVE!” she screamed hands on her hips “AND STAY AWAY!”

Tyler stays standing there, looking at Cameron who is frozen without any words coming out of his mouth, they were staring at each other in silence, Alex tried to take his hand again but he shook it off, he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone that wasn’t Cameron, he wanted Cameron to defend him like he always, to be on his side like he always has.

Like they are supposed to.

Say something he pleaded with his eyes Say anything.

But he didn’t and his heartbeat quickened, his mind clouded, he swallowed the lump on his throat and felt the heat burning his cheeks, he shook his head and turned around, he barely had given a step when he heard Cameron scream “Fuck you!”.

For a second he thinks that it’s directed to him but when he turns around,Cameron is telling Amy “It’s over!!”, she looks hurt but walks away without saying anything else, a second later he turns to look at Tyler with an apologetic look but he shakes his head letting him know that he doesn’t have to be sorry as he went straight to hug him with his slender arms.

Obviously Finn ruins the moment by telling them “NOW KISS!!”

Tyler doesn’t have to let go of the hug to know that Cameron is flipping him off. 

Things settle back to normal until his birthday gets there, he is in the middle of opening his presents when he remembers about the playstation, if he is lucky Alex has probably forgotten about it, he is opening Cameron’s present when he realizes that it’s a painting of Wonder Woman but with the bi flag color, he smiles at him before pulling him into a hug and carefully puts it on his room to hang it later. 

Finn got him a comic book collection which is so fucking cool, they just high five because if he hugs him, he’ll yell “gay”, then it’s Hugo who gets him a hamilton travel mug and he pulls him into a hug as well and finally there is alex who gives him a perfectly wrapped box.

“It’s not much but i hope you like it” he whispers awkwardly shuffling his feet. 

“I already love it” he says without looking at him because he might blush and then he’ll die, he stares inside of the box, it’s a bunch of stuff, like of bookmarks some handmade other ones bought, a box of Tyler’s favorite chocolate, an iron man shaped usb and a pin that says “Best bi”.

He looks up to see Alex still staring at him expectantly and when he says “i love it, it’s so cool”, Alex flashes him with this equally huge smile before pulling him into a hug, he can see Jeremy giving him this unreadable look but there is this warmthness to it. 

When he pulls away, Jeremy walks towards him with this somehow heavy box, he stares up at him as he opens it with an “you didn’t” expression and when he opens it, he almost dies because he can’t believe it, he actually got it but how, Jeremy doesn’t respond, he just smiles at him, he can tell that Finn wants to say that he has like four of those but they elbow him and he doesn’t say anything else.

He has a good time, they all use the playstation but eventually their parents come to pick them up with the exception of Cameron, they keep their tradition of making the blanket fort. The next morning he gets a second surprise at the beginning he thinks it’s just money on an envelope but he sees that it’s tickets to “Dear Evan Hansen” only two for him and Jeremy, apparently they are going to be staying with him for a couple of weeks after his graduation to help him to move to his apartment.  
Even with all of that, he knows that his birthday is not going to be as memorable as Elena’s, specially now that their dad is visiting,he has just meet him once but he seems nice and he is just happy that Alex is happy, he doesn’t need anything more than that to like someone. 

He is at the party with Sarah and Jill, when Mr. Ludgate walks in with his boyfriend and Hugo, the three of them rush to their side, Cameron is the last one to arrive almost growing impatient with Finn who doesn’t want to run,Hannish and Lilly join the table because she can’t walk on high hills so she is getting there slowly. 

“You look nice” he tells Cameron as he settles next to him “love the suit”. 

“Thanks, my dad picked up the suit” he mentions gesturing to Hannish who smiles to himself.

That’s when he sees Mrs. Alvarez start her speech, Finn tried to bet that she would cry during the speech but when he hears her talk, he can see his eyes starting to water and he pats him in the back as Elena walks in. 

“now that’s a kickass suit” Hugo says happily.

Tyler can’t help to think she is beautiful, another part of him can’t help to look at Josh and think about how handsome he is and when Alex vows down, a tiny smile escapes his lips because he thinks he is both handsome and beautiful at the same time but he shakes his head and focuses on the dancing, they are amazing, Tyler would have probably fallen twice by trying to do what they are doing. 

When it’s moment for the father/daughter dance, he can see a somewhat sad expression on Jill’s face, an aching that he doesn’t see very often, he sees Sarah leans her head on her shoulder like she is bracing herself for something, Tyler grabs her hand as they wait for Alex’s dad to show up. 

The thing is that he never does, he can only sees Alex’s back but he can see him streaching his neck like he was looking for something,the rest of the family seems to be doing the exact same thing until he sees Schneider from the other side of the room shaking his head, for a second he sees Alex turn around with a heartbroken and ashamed expression. 

But no one looks as sad as Elena standing in the middle of the room, for half a minute no one knows what to do until he sees Mrs. Alvarez walk towards Elena and embrace her, the two of them share a dance, Alex joins in, eventually Schneider does too and one dude that he can’t quiet recognize but he thinks it’s nice that he is there. 

When the time it’s right, they all stand up to dance eventually but he notices that Alex is nowhere to be seen, he starts looking for him, he is sitting down on a corner of the room looking beat, they all walk towards him and sit down without saying anything, Finn is the first to speak “maybe he got sick-”

“What he did was sick” Alex scoffs and Tyler just squeezes his hand for a second and when he tries to pull away, Alex squeezes back before saying humorlessly “how could he just decided to-you know what? it doesn’t even matter, i don’t want to talk about it, let’s dance”. 

He stand up and keeps on holding Tyler’s hand, he doesn’t let go until they are on the dance floor and the whole group just dances together and stop Finn from trying to ask a girl older than them to dance with him, he is having fun but he also hopes that maybe Alex will open up about this night someday. 

.-.-.-.

A new school year starts but it feels the same as the last one, the summer was still nice, he had a good time at Jeremy’s graduation and helping him to decorate his apartment, it’s incredibly small but comfortable and cozy and his roomate Anna seems nice, Alyssa and Jason adopted a little girl named Zoe that took some time to warm up to him but eventually did because she has decided that his hair is perfect for braiding but after all of that the only thing that has changed about himself is that he started to wear contacts but they make him squamish so he goes back to his old glasses but he thinks that they’ll grow on him someday. 

He is sitting down during Alex’s game, he smiles to his family, it’s nice that they have their own song for him, he usually just claps and that’s it, he does stand up screaming when they win but that’s nothing compared to the Alvarez who pull out a cuban flag as they scream “Dale papito! Dale!”.

Tyler can’t help to think that they are cute and he mentions it to Alex when they go to observatory the next day but when he says it, Alex just rolls his eyes as he tells him how annoying they are, now it’s his turn to rolls his eyes.

“Honestly you don’t get it, you are so lucky that you don’t have-” he starts his sentence and Tyler is not really sure how he is going to follow the rest (embarrassing parents? embarrassing mom or?) because he stops himself there mildly horrified by what he had almost said “i didn’t mean it like that, i was trying to say that Sarah and Jill aren’t embarrassing”.

“Oh you just haven’t spent enough time with them” he said jokingly letting him know that it’s fine “also you have to love them otherwise the only person cheering for you at your games would be me and do you really want that?”. 

Alex smiled and Tyler would give everything to see him smile like that and when he says “Actually i would like that”. 

Tyler is about to argue that he wouldn’t when Hugo walks up to them, he says something in spanish that Tyler can’t quite understand but then a kid from another school walks past them saying “Go back to Mexico!”. 

He is barely processing what he just said when Alex just run pass him and punches him right across the face, the kid seems shocked that this even happened like he didn’t expect consequences, Sister Barbara takes Alex away and when they are far enough Hugo takes his travel mug,opens it before throwing a drink at the face of that asshole.  
They went back to school on the bus, Hugo and Alex were sitting together, Finn was sitting next to him and Cameron in the back, he tried to explain the situation the best he could. He knows the situation is already fucked up when Sister Barbara says that Alex can’t go home unless his mom comes to pick him up, Hugo and him try to explain but she won’t listen. 

When Alex’s mom comes for him without saying anything, they all just stare in concern but the next day he looks better saying that things went well, but still Tyler decides to keep an eye (well, more like an ear) open in case someone says anything so that he can go to throw a drink at them this time. 

Honestly he wished he had done more when that happened, he should have decked the guy aswell or maybe distract sister Barbara, he should have done something instead of just standing there.

He would have done anything to make Alex feel safe. 

And he can at very least do that when they go to take their braces off together.

“What if he takes it off and accidentally takes down all my teeth?”

“Do you think that we are here with? Orin Scrivello?” 

“Who?” he said, his little shop of horror reference was lost on him as he ketp on fidgeting with his hands, Tyler gets an urge to grab his hand and kiss it but he doesn’t, well-he does take his hand and lets him use it like a stress ball. 

“Honestly, i’m pretty sure you would still be able to look fine without your teeth” 

“Yeah keep on flattering me, that helps to calm me down” he sounds serious but Tyler can’t bring himself to give Alex compliments and holding his hands, mostly because it hurts in a completely different way, it gives him hope and he doesn’t want to hope. 

When they call his name, he lets go of Alex and he mourns the absence of his hand as he sits on the chair and he can hear someone calling Alex’s name which means that he is going to be in the room next to them. 

Jill drives Alex to his house and his abuelita is waiting for him at the door and he waits on the backseat as he sees him go, he lets his head fall on his the window but then he turns to look at her who is staring back at him on the rearview mirror with this look on her face, it’s somewhat fond but also sympathetic like she has been on his same spot, like she KNOWS. 

She confirms it by saying “you know if you ever need to-”

“I don’t want to talk about it” he says, shaking his head. 

“Okay but if you ever do-”

“I can always talk to you, i know” he responds before leaning his head against the window.

“You know i remember when i was your age, i don’t think mom and dad knew-well i didn’t knew” she said as they stop on the red light “but they would always make me leave the door open when Sarah would come over”. 

“I thought they were cool with everything”

“They were, it would have been the same way if it was boy” she snorted shaking her head “they were the same way with Jason, they were super religious, i swear we had more crosses than anything in that house and they were all in the same wall”.

“God, they were those people” Tyler responded rolling his eyes feeling a little too apathetic and that seems to cut Jill off and he still feels like he is slowly sinking.

Sometimes it feels like it’s going to eat him alive. 

Specially when Alex starts dating girls, he does it almost too casually, he says that he is not ready for a girlfriend yet but there is nothing wrong with flirting, Tyler can’t help to roll his eyes at that and when he makes fun of Elena for not knowing how to flirt, it feels like it’s getting under his skin. 

“It’s not that easy, Alex” he says as he bites his sandwich “finding someone is hard”.

“Yeah but you are bi, isn’t that like doubling your choices?” Alex says innocently, Tyler doesn’t really know where to start with how wrong he is but Finn nods along to his words

“Oh, of course because people are lining up to date me” he mumbles, annoyed with himself for saying anything. 

“I think anyone would be lucky to have you” Alex says earnestly like he honestly believes that and Tyler just shrugs “i mean it”.

And Tyler knows he does. 

But that doesn’t make him feel any better. 

He just wants for things to be back to last year when he said that it was just “them” even if he knew that it will never be a “them”, he thinks that Hugo’s bar mitzvah might bring them back to that night in the quinces when it felt like Alex and Tyler danced together for a second but Alex never makes it which also means that he missed out on having his first sleepover but they agree that they’ll have it soon. 

They try to have it during Cameron’s bar mitzvah but it becomes impossible because his grandfather was a bit of a fuckboy that had too many kids so Cameron’s mom has a lot of half-siblings meaning that he has a lot of cousins meaning that they couldn’t have an sleepover, how they finally get it is unexpected to say the least, Hugo calls him at six o’clock on a friday without a warning telling him to come to his house urgently that Alex went to see his dad and it didn’t go well, Tyler can barely process those words before he is packing his stuff and getting his sleeping bag, Cameron and Finn are at his door in what feels like a matter of seconds, they went to buy as much junk food as possible, ice cream and decide to watch spiderman movies with him all night. 

Tyler wants to ask what happen but when Alex sees the food and them he seems to feel better so he doesn't ask because he doesn't want to remind him of the bad day, he can see him feeling better as the night continues they stay up for a longer time than usual, they already finished the two movies of the amazing spiderman and Tyler feels himself getting sleepy when his head falls on Alex’s shoulder, he is about to move it afraid to make him uncomfortable but then he settle his head on top of his and smile appears on his face as he hears his soft snores.

He thinks about that moment again when he sees Alex get asked out by Emma and feels stupid, angry and sad but over all things jealous, it’s like that one is the one eating him alive and sinking him. 

“Hey” Cameron says walking towards him “is it cool if i stay over at your house this weekend?” 

“Sure” he says as he takes the books from his locker and they walk to the school exit “we can finally watch that terrible old daredevil movie starring ben Affleck, I heard it sucks”

“Yeah, it sounds cool” he replies as he looks back anxiously “let’s go”

“Everything okay?” he asks him, he looks at him fidgeting with his hands, he thinks about asking him if he is okay, if everything is okay instead he asks him “Do I have to beat someone?”

“What? No!” he said shocked but then he looked awkward “No, I just-I did something and it sort involves you?”

He stops dead in his tracks before turning to look at him “do I have to beat you?”

“No” he says shaking his head “I don’t think so”

“Good, because I would feel bad”

“because we are best friends or because I’m really scrawny?” he asks and he lets out a chuckle.

“both” he says and Cameron makes a fake offended expression “so, what’s the problem?”

“Nori Starling asked me to the dance today after practice”

“Oh, good” he says confused, failing to see the problem, Cameron almost glares at him “I’m going to need you to elaborate”

“I said no” he says like if it was obvious, when it’s the completely opposite of that, Nori is one of the prettiest girl in school, she is as tall and has long blonde wavy hair, with big green eyes, has smooth tanned skin, has perfectly straight white teeth and her lips always glisten, pretty and bright so yeah he doesn’t see how anyone could say no and it seems like Cameron reads her thoughts and responds exasperated “have you ever talked to her? She is super mean and judgmental and I don’t want to go with someone like that, I refuse to date another asshole”

“I don’t think you should go anywhere with someone you don’t want to go with” he said simply, still cringing when he thought of Amy “I'm not going to the stupid dance anyway, it’s just bullshit”

“It is bullshit” he nods in agreement still fidgeting when he said “the thing is that when I said no, she insisted and I didn’t know what to do so I told her that I already had a date"

For a second he thinks that Cameron wants him to get him a date but then he notices the nervous apologetic way he is looking at him “wait, did you tell her that the date was with me?!”

“She keep on insisting and wasn’t taking a no for an answer!” he whispered back “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t want to go but I didn’t knew what else to do”

Tyler purses his lips silently, not really sure of what to do with that new information like it’s not a big deal right?, he’ll go with his best friend and they’ll have fun, he might not even notice that Alex dancing with Emma, it might not feel like his heart is breaking. 

“sure, fine,pick me up and your mom can drive us”

“thank you” he says with a sigh of relief before panic rises again “Also she insisted even after that so I also told her that we were matching”

"I have red bowtie" he offers lamely. 

"I have a red tie" Cameron gives him a high five and he slaps his hand against his and just like that it’s settle, he is going to the dance with Cameron. 

When he gets home, he tells Jill and Sarah, apologizes for telling them last minute, they take out his tie and prepare the suit, that it’s not really his, the bottom part is Jill’s and the jacket is Jeremy’s but they fit so this works.

“We can try something else, we would have to change the-”

“No” he says before adding embarrassed “it’s fine, I’m matching with Cameron”

“Wow” Sarah says passing him the jacket “you are going to be one of those couples”

"We are not a couple" he says feeling slight defensive because he is already imagining what everyone at the dance is going to say

“Yeah, you are not, people go as friends all the time to these things” Jill tells him as they both look at him in the mirror

“You’ll probably end up having more fun than any of the other real couples anyway” Sarah says giving him a supporting pat in the back.

“We will” He says like it’s a simple conclusion smiling to himself, he'll have fun with Cameron, they'll take a bunch of pictures each in a different awkward pose but with genuine smiles, maybe they'll even mess around with the equipment for the dance and change the music, so what if he isn’t going with someone that he likes, he can still have fun “we always do”

Tyler looks at himself in the mirror is wearing a sweater with the jacket on top and you can see his red bow tie there, he looks nice, a little nerdy but that’s just how he looks and then Cameron knocks on his door and he is wearing a blue shirt and red tie and his hair is simply put to a side and Lilly gets out of the car and tells them that they are not getting inside of the car without her taking at least one picture.

“You look good too” he says and before the second picture gets taken and Lilly has agreed to send the pictures to her sister and they get in her car afterwards and they are off to the dance.

When they walk in the place I decorated and people are dancing already to music that they don’t recognize so what they do is find their friends, they don’t get that many stares except for Naomi who glares at Tyler, Hugo is drinking his punch looking impeccable in his suit, the opposite of Finn who is wearing a tie but also shorts and Alex who just stands out, he told him that he was going to wear his grandfather’s clothes, he thinks he looks beautiful- 

“Dang, are you guys matching?” Alex says amused and they only nod back at him.

“Thanks, you look good too” Tyler says hoping to sound flippant but all Alex does back is smile widely.

“thank you” he says giving a full turn around for them to look at the whole outfit.

“You guys DO look good” Hugo tells them.

"You DO, i dig the bowtie" Finn says of all people

"it's cute" Alex says while nodding. 

Eventually they separate, Hugo and Camila leave to dance with their perfectly matched outfits, Alex goes to dance with Emma and Finn leaves to go make out with Jennifer Hudson, him and Cameron stay together and they do dance some songs but they are honestly just waiting patiently for the DJ to leave for his bathroom break, it’s like they are slowly dancing towards him, they are able to take over when Alex’s mom starts slapping her boyfriend’s butt, they are able to take over completely and the first thing they do it’s play Lydia’s request, seeing her dance with Doctor Berkowitz may be the best thing that he has ever seen, Cameron hides his face on his shoulder and covers his eyes trying not to laugh so hard.

“Hey” they hear someone say and they are almost startled by it but it’s just Denise and Michelle standing awkwardly near them.

“Are you taking requests?” Michelle asks, she is wearing a nice purple dress and looks so pretty, Denise is wearing an all-black dress that reminds him of Wednesday Addams but her hair is up on a ponytail that it makes it look somewhat bouncy, she is also wearing makeup, she looks uncomfortable.

“Sure” Cameron says nodding “but do it quickly, the dude must be about to come back”

“Time after time by Cyndi Lauper” Michelle and Denise asks at the same time and they push the buttons before running away when they see the dude coming back.

They start dancing next to each other for a few seconds before somehow Denise manages to make the shift partners and he ends up dancing with her, he sees Cameron and Michelle awkwardly rearrange themselves and start slow dancing, he suddenly feels very weird because they haven’t talked since last year and he doesn’t know what to do or say.

“You look nice, I really like the dress, it’s very Wednesday Addams”

“Thanks, it’s itchy, you look nice too by the way” she responds honestly and her honesty doesn’t end there, she continues talking “When I told my mom that I was going on a date with you, she looked so happy, her eyes literally lighted up, she talked about how nice and pretty I was going to look, she was so excited that she didn’t notice how uncomfortable I was”

“I-”

“When I went to pick you up, she said how modern that was” she rolled her eyes, wrinkled her nose and shook her head before looking at him in the eye “she wanted to take a picture of us because she wanted to show them to my aunts, to prove that-I don’t know that I wasn’t gay or something”

"That's shitty" Tyler responds nodding, not sure what she wants him to respond, maybe she just want to talk to someone.

“Today was even worse, she spent hours fixing my hair until it stayed into place and used so many hair products in it, it makes me want to cut my hair and this dress sucks and I hate the make-up” she said shaking her head before sighing "I want to talk about last year".

"It was all good-" he says attempting to sound reassuring. 

She smiles at him crookedly before tilting her head, closing her eyes and swallowing and whispering so incredibly quietly that only he is able to listen "i don't like boys".

"Oh, i do" he responds without thinking but it seems to be the right thing to say by the way she laughs. 

"I like girls" she said more secure of herself. 

"i do too" this makes her laugh even harder and she leans her head on his shoulder before pulling away completely.

"Ugh i hate this dress and whatever the hell she did to my hair, do you think that maybe next year you can help me hide my clothes and fix my hair" 

"Why would you trust me? MY HAIR SUCKS!" he says, both laugh.

"I switch hair styles with you any day of the week" she smiles brilliantly at him before walking away, he turns to look at Cameron who is still dancing with Michelle and he looks happy so he lets him, that's when he sees Emma and braces himself to see her with Alex but instead, she is with Travis Aaron.

He should be relieved, happy not to see her with Alex but instead he is angry and he starts searching for him everywhere until he finds him sitting in the back. 

"Hey" he said as he sat next to him, Alex smiled lamely at him "you know moping is not a way to get through the night?" 

"My date ditched me so i think that moping is allowed besides i never got why there are always sad people at the dances but now I get it" he said putting his arm around Tyler "it just feels right, can you feel it?" 

Tyler doesn't want to answer that because all he can feel is his face heating up from how close Alex is to him. 

"Alright, I'll give you that but still" he says trying not to look at him directly in the eyes but then they both end up looking at Emma and Travis, he feels Alex sigh and Tyler feels his nerves creeping up on him as he says "Ugh, she is so dumb, you are way more good looking than Travis Aaron" 

"You are only saying that because you are my friend" 

"I'm saying this as a random boy who likes boys, I'll pick you over Travis Aaron any other day" 

He won't admit that he'll probably choose Alex over anyone. 

"Yeah?" he says turning to look at him, looking at him a little different with an strange interest in his eyes. 

"Yeah, especially tonight because" he admits feeling more confident and for a second he swears that Alex leans in a little "you look like ridiculously, depressingly and unbelievably good looking tonight" 

Alex is quiet, frozen in a smile for a second before laughing and saying "I feel like you're flirting with me to make me feel better" 

Tyler laughs too but he is not sure. Is he? Is this flirting? 

"or maybe you are just practicing your moves on me" Alex continued smiling "and i have to say you have good game, your future girlfriend or boyfriend is going to be lucky". 

"Yours too" Tyler said feeling like he was sinking again when he heard the first notes of somebody to love by queen. 

He almost laughs because how fucking convenient but instead he starts to sing along, Alex stares at him lifting his left eyebrow like he thinks Tyler is crazy but he doesn't care, he left his last fuck to give back at home so he grabs Alex's hands making him stand up, starting to dance with him, he is sure that he must look like a crazy person but Alex is laughing so hard completely oblivious to Emma and Travis slow dancing a few feet away.

That's when Gladys shows up, asking Alex for a dance and Tyler gives a step back letting him go to dance with her, he smiles at him but he drops it as soon as they are far away enough. 

He has to stop doing this to himself, he really does. 

"Hey" Cameron says showing up next to him and offering him a hand, he takes it and they walk to the dance floor fumbling as they dance to the final notes of the song when a new one starts. 

A faster one. 

Wait a second is that-

"Is that from beetlejuice?" Cameron asks smiling widely and Tyler nods back before taking his hand as they both start to jump around and sing just like when they were kids. 

At one point when he turns to look at Alex and he has a group of girls swarming around him trying to get the last dance with him, it stings but only for a second because then Cameron takes him by the arm and sings directly to his face and he doesn't forget about him but it takes a mental backseat to their dancing and he feels better.

A couple of weeks pass by when he wakes up early in the morning in a saturday, he sees that Alex is calling and he is ready to tell him to fuck off but that’s when he says “My abuelita is at the hospital-i don’t know what happened”, he is on the verge of tears he can tell and Tyler is suddenly has never been more awake, he stays on the phone as much time Alex wants him there and the last thing he asks him if he can go to church with him tomorrow. 

“Of course” he answers even if he can’t remember the last time he was at church but he is the first one to be there the next day. 

Tyler feels weird at church, he doesn’t get much of what the priest is saying except for when he says to pray for their “sister” Margarita del Carmen Inclán Maribona Leyte-Vidal who is at the hospital recovering from an operation and he turns to see Alex just to see if he is doing alright, he is not, he can tell that he is trying to keep himself from crying and he reaches for his hand and hold it and he squeezes it but in an unexpected way it ends up making fart noise, he doesn’t regret it because he sees Alex give him this watery smile and even laugsh for a second.

He offers to go with him to the hospital but Alex shakes his head telling him that he’ll be okay still Tyler stays glued to his phone waiting for him to call and tell him that his grandmother is okay, his sister convinces him to come out of his room to watch some true crime documentaries with them like that’s a regular family activity they do, he can see right through her but he stands up and goes to the living room, Jason tries to ask him questions about who he thinks did it and he is about to tell him that it’s not like they are playing Clue, this is named after someone but then his cell phone rings and when he hears Alex’s normal happy voice, he relaxes and tells him that he knew that she’ll be alright even if that’s not true and he has been spiralling for the last few hours but that doesn’t matter, all it matter is that Lydia is okay and so is Alex. 

A few months later they go to the pool with the rest of the group and Lydia is their chaperone, when they are about to get in, Alex makes fun of how skinny he is by tapping his ribs talking about how he needs to eat a sandwich or something so he shoves him inside of the pool and jumps behind him, he gets the impression that Lydia feels the same way Alex does because when they go to the his house for lunch, she serves him twice the food than she did with everyone else, he finishes it all because it’s actually really good, he thanks her and she pinches his cheeks and he has the feeling that no matter how much things change, things are going to be okay. 

.-.-.-.-.

Visiting Jeremy every year is going to become a tradition he can feel it (even if this time only Jill and Sarah came with him),especially now that Jeremy is going to live on his own, now Anna is moving in with her girlfriend, she insists that she is going to dye Tyler’s hair one of these days when he visits and Jeremy insist for her to leave his hair alone as they continue packing. 

The day before they go, Jeremy tells him that he found a photo album of their parents old high school pictures and he thought that maybe he’ll want it and all he does is look at the pictures on the album and he feels some type of disconnection, Jill tells him how they were soulmates that fell in love at first sight,he can’t help to think that’s both very romantic but also feels like bullshit because who falls in love at first sight with their soulmate? how much luck can two people have? 

Besides that or maybe because of that he spends a lot of time looking at those pictures, hearing the story about these two people that he loves and doesn’t know at the same time.

Coming back to school is weird, he had a growth spurt which meant that he is now taller than all of his friends and his hair is slowly becoming wavy-curly on it’s own, he starts to get used to his contacts but still misses his glasses however he stops using them completely when he hears two girls talking about how he cute he got after the summer and he has to try to hide his blush. 

It’s not like anything changes, he is not turning heads, whatever notion romantic comedies gave about the famous makeovers is far away from his reality in which he looks nice and decent now so people have stop making jokes about his appearance. 

He is sitting watching Alex’s baseball game too focused to notice that someone is staring at him, he turns to the side to see a blonde guy with huge green eyes and for a second he thinks that he is doing something wrong because this older guy is staring and laughing at him. 

But then he realizes that he is not laughing, he is smiling at him and now he is walking towards him. 

“Hey” he says now standing next to him “can i sit with you?”

“Yeah” he responds quickly suddenly feeling awkward because the guy is looking at him up and down again but then he sees him catch him doing it.

“Sorry, it’s just that you look familiar” he says squinting his eyes and then he slaps his leg like he just figure it out “Wait, i know from where, last year you were dancing to beetlejuice with your boyfriend at the dance, it was super cute, wish i had one at your age”.

“Oh” he laughs feeling somewhat embarrassed that someone had seen him dance like that “no, he is my best friend, we were just messing around”.

“Oh” he says sounding disappointed. 

“But i am boys” he says quickly feeling stupid and shaking his head “I mean-i like boys and girls, i’m bi”.

“I’m Owen, i’m a senior and i’m gay” he responds offering him a hand to shake and Tyler does “nice to meet you”. 

“Nice to meet you too, i’m Tyler and i’m in ninth grade” he responded feeling him squeeze his hand and he feels his knees go weak for a second when he turns around and sees Alex hit homeround, he stands up jumping and screaming “YES!”

He is expecting to see that Owen has walked away because of how cringy that was but he is smiling up at him, he sits down again, getting ready to apologize for his outburst but then Owen says “You are cute, Tyler”.

Tyler laughs awkwardly at his boldness as he shakes his head.

To be honest he is not expecting anything to come of it so when Owen walks away he thinks that’s it but then he waves at him during lunch or smiles from the other side of the room and talks to him here and there so he starts to look for him or run to the other side of the room because even if he is sure that Owen is just humoring him, not really flirting with him, he kinda of likes the attention and it’s nice to have his friends teasing him about this new crush, Hugo jokingly called him “Tyler’s boyfriend” the other day, Cameron just wants him to get over Alex because he doesn’t want to see him sad anymore even if he is just jumping from one fantasy to another, Finn thinks that it would be cool if they start dating because he could become more popular for dating an older guy and Alex kind of sort of hates that he likes Owen and call him a dick but he is okay with that because it’s not like Owen is going to become his boyfriend or anything like that, he is just a guy that tells Tyler that he is cute sometimes. 

But it seems like Alex doesn’t get that. 

“Wait, are you texting him right now?” Alex asks sounding indignated,when they have just finished doing their math homework. 

“Yeah” he shrug again and Alex stood up from the bed rolling his eyes “oh come on, you are not actually mad about this are you?”

“No, i’m not, go back talking to your boyfriend or whatever” Tyler couldn’t tell if he was joking or not but then Alex turns around after checking his desk “Did you eat the rest of my sandwich?”

“Yeah, your mom said you weren’t going to finish it, you were showering so i couldn’t ask you and-” he turned to his cellphone when it ring again. 

“Oh my god” he said frustrated. 

“Sorry, i’ll make you a new one-”

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE SANDWICH” he yelled back, Tyler didn’t knew what to do right then and there when his cellphone rang again “sorry, i shouldn’t have yelled, i’m sorry”.

“It’s fine,i just don’t get why you are so upset” he said, Alex doesn’t even look back at him for a second before taking a deep breath “it’s not like you never texted girls when he hang out, how is this-”

“It’s not the same” he says harshly but this time he doesn’t yell “I hate him”. 

“Alright” he says nonanchaly not sure of how to continue that conversation “i don’t”.

“You should” he responds quickly like he has been wanting to tell him this for a while now “don’t you realize how creepy this whole thing is? what does a guy who is graduating wants to do with a kid who just started high school? he is trying to take advantage of you, he is a creep”. 

“Oh my god” he says laughing for a second before taking his phone from the bed “you are exaggerating, i swear-”

“I’m not, i honestly don’t get what you see in him” Alex says rolling his eyes. 

“He has a nice face and he is nice to me” he shrugs as he responds to a message that he just sent him. 

“That easy then?” he asks him squinting his eyes “honestly you need up your standards”.

“He also thinks i’m cute so i’ll say that my standards are fine-” he says still chuckling about to click in the video that Owen just sent him. 

“He doesn’t even think that, actually he doesn’t even really like you, he just likes how easy it is to impress you” Alex says and it stings, for a second it feels like the world is frozen until he sees Alex’s face change like he knows he screw up “i didn’t mean it like that, i swear i didn’t mean it like that-”

“Don’t worry, i get it” Tyler responds as he takes his stuff and packs it on his bag “the idea of someone liking me is so fucking unbelievable that-”

“That’s so not what i meant, Tyler, i just think that he has ulterior motives and-” 

“Yeah, no one could ever be nice to me without ulterior motives” he says putting on his backpack and walking away. 

“Where are you going?” he says walking behind him. 

“Home” he responds already at the door.

“Tyler, come on, you don’t have a key and your sister won’t be come home in a few hours-”

He is out the door by that point and walks out of the building even if he does think about coming back every single step he takes downstairs, he even ignores the text messages from Owen, he is about to call Cameron and go to his house when he gets a message from Katherine who wants to hang out with him because her older brother is home with some of his friends, he doesn’t think about it twice before taking the bus and getting out of there. 

Imagine his shock when he knocks on the door of her house and Owen opens instead with a vape pen on his hand and a somewhat dreamy smile as he greets him, apparently he is one of Katherine’s friends but he thinks that she invited him only to see his reaction.

She thinks this is funny. 

And any other day, it would have been okay but just not today. 

So when they offer him to use the vape pen and he sees Owen gives him a reassuring smile, he takes it just so that he can forget about the previous conversation and the uncomfortable feeling that he has now when Owen looks at him. 

He realizes that he is late and tries to get an UBER but Owen offers to take him home after getting him something to eat and he says “yes” before taking his hand and he tries to pull away but he doesn’t let him, they walk for so long that he is on a street that he can’t recognize but relaxes when Owen actually buys him a sandwich but it comes back when he says “Are you not going to say thank you?”

“thank you” he says taking a bite and as he swallows and Owen puts his hands on his shoulders, Tyler suddenly feels uneasy.

“You are so cute, Tyler” he tells him, holding his face kissing him and Tyler furrows his brows, there is something inside of him screaming pull away, pull away and that’s all he wants to do, he wants him to get away. 

He gives a step back but he pulls him back in, Owen looks back at him confused but he still he moves his head closer, he still won’t let go, that’s when he kicks him as hard as he can, he pushes him away with his hands and Tyler basically jumps, hitting his back against a tree. 

Now when Owen looks back at him, he does it with anger. 

And it hits him how hard Alex was right as Owen starts yelling at him in the middle of the street. 

So he runs as fast as he can to get away from him until he is all alone at a place that he still can’t recognize and he wishes that he would have stayed with Alex, that he had listened but it’s too late to do anything right now so he calls Cameron asking him if they can see each other, somehow he knows something is wrong before Tyler even talks and when he says “what happened?” Tyler just breaks into tears. 

When he sees him, he gets pulled him into the tightest hug before offering ice cream and trying to make sense of what Tyler is telling him and every time he tries to say that he was stupid, that he should have thought and listened but Cameron doesn’t even let him finish that sentence, he just pulls him into a hug and lets him sleep. 

The next day when he feels better, he texts Alex asking if he can see him and he responds “want to play video games?”.

He smiles before typing “yeah”. 

"Hey" they both said simultaneously, they laugh awkwardly as he lets him inside of the apartment, as soon as he is, they both go at the same time "I'm sorry" 

Now they laugh for real this time. 

"Jesus" Alex goes snorting.

"Fuck" Tyler says just for the sake of going for the opposite thing, they laugh again and he thinks that they can let this go and pretend that just nothing is wrong and nothing even happened yesterday.

"I'm sorry" he said earnestly,sitting down and patting the seat next to him."I was mean-"

"You weren't mean" he says shaking his head, thinking you were just right.

"I was a jerk" 

"And i was an idiot" Tyler responds "so let's just move on and call it a day".

"I should have said it differently, i was trying to say something different" he insists shaking his head like he hadn't just listened to what Tyler had just said "i do think that he doesn't actually like you but what i was trying to say was that-"

"Alex, it's fine" he said shaking his head "let's just start the game, i'll help you beat Finn's score, what do you say?"

"Alright" Alex agrees with a snort as he takes the controller but as Tyler starts the game, he adds "but i want you to know that i wasn't saying 't that a boy like owen would never like you, i'll never say something like that, i don't think that". 

"Alex, i already said that it is fine-"

"what i was saying is that you deserve better than a boy like owen who is just nice and not even that good looking" Alex continues without letting him finish his sentence "you deserve someone who thinks that you are worth everything and that the sun shines out of your ass every morning" 

"thank you" he said remembering what Jeremy told him about waiting for the right person and the way his mom and dad looked at each other in those high school pictures and forces himself to say "I know that". 

"And you also know that he is not that good looking?" he asks him this time more playfully, Tyler laughed again "it's important for me that you know that".

"Not everyone can be as good looking as you" he said as he tried to focus on the game but he felt Alex's eyes on him for a few seconds and that he can see him blushing and hope gets to him for a few seconds when that happens. 

But it dies when the next week comes along and Alex announces that he is going to take Michelle to the dance. 

And it was one thing when it only hurted him but he sees how deflated Cameron is when he hears that, he goes to hold his hand and he squeezes back. 

"It's fine, it's my fault i didn't ask her sooner" he tells him later when it's just the two of them, he puts his arm around him as they see Alex walk towards Michelle "do you still want to go?".

He is about to say that he doesn't but he notices that Cameron really wants to go so instead he says "sure, let's go".

This time they don't match but they do take pictures when he arrives he gets a message from Denise Falto who actually wants to take his word and help her fix her hair and to find her on the bathroom, he almost goes immediately to the boy's bathroom when he realizes that she must be on the girl's bathroom but that's when he hears Owen's voice say "no, i swear he is such a psycho, he threw a rock to my car because i rejected him, he is fucking crazy".

He doesn't need him to specify who "he" is and he wants to get inside of that room and that wasn't how it happened, that their friend is a fucking dick who kissed him when he clearly didn't want to. 

But that's when Denise gets out of the bathroom wearing suit with two pins one with the lesbian flag and a rainbow one on the side of her jacket with a panicked look so he walked behind her to fix her hair up into a ponytail. 

He gets back to the dance after that, Cameron is dancing with Mackenzie so he hasn't really felt his absence and he smiles at Elena who is dancing with Syd but then they stop and she has this smile that resembles the one of a proud mother and Michelle stops dancing with Alex to run and give her best friend a hug.

After that, his only concern is to keep Cameron distracted enough not to notice Alex and Michelle, they even take over the DJ booth and they put “Jump in the line” ten times until Sister Barbara caughts them and they end up in detention for a week but he thinks it’s worth it. 

And when Alex says that things didn’t work out with Michelle, he thinks that it was a pretty good night. 

Still the best day of the year in his opinion is the day the theater club does the play of Romeo and Juliet, it’s awkward for the kiss part but they pull it off and at the end of everything, the teacher mentions that they are showing the school to a new student that it’s going to join the school the next year and she is pretty cool. 

Her name is Chloe and he thinks they are really going to get along. 

.-.-.-.-.

He has been waiting for the last fifteen minutes to use the bathroom and he is getting ready to kill whoever is inside. 

The world must really fucking hate Tyler sometimes, what is the other explanation for the four bathrooms at Finn’s house being busy at the same time before he starts to mentally kick himself for coming, he turns around and sees Cameron happily dancing with Michelle. 

He smiles to himself feeling satisfied, he knew that Michelle was coming tonight and that’s why he dragged poor Cameron out of his bed, that’s why he insisted to come to this party,because he wanted to see his best friend smile after days of sulking.

After staring at them for a few more seconds, he turns around and knocks on the door again 

“Oh my god, is the bathroom still busy?” Hugo asks him before groaning and leaning next to the door.

“Yeah” he said shaking his head, he is about to ask him how is Finn doing and if he still thinks that Cameron just hates him but that’s when he notices that Dylan Sanvers who looks as annoyed as the two of them is walking at their direction and Tyler has to keep it together in more ways than one because that is Dylan Freaking Sanvers, the guy who has the eyes of Logan lerman and the jawline of Matt Bomer. 

"Still?" Dylan asks pointing at the door behind them

“Yep” they both reply sounding somewhat awkward. 

Dylan groans without saying anything else before pulling out a vape pen from his pocket, he tries not to glare at it, he doesn’t have the best memories about vape pens, Hugo is also looking at it and Dylan catches him staring “do you want some?”

He can see that Hugo is about to decline when Dylan says “it’s okay i know you'll never do something like this but how about you Tyler?"

Tyler lifts an eyebrow confused, how in the earth could he-

Fuck, it's nothing, it's just his own head playing games with him.

"I'm fine, thanks" he says quickly.

“Suit yourselves, I’m gonna go pee on the bushes, i’m tired of waiting" he says with a shrug "do you want to come?”

"No, thanks" they say at the same time and he walks away.

“Do you think i’m too much of a goody two shoes, he didn’t even let me think of what to say?”

“Were you going to say yes?” Tyler asks shocked. 

“Well, no but still why do you sound so shocked?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just not your-” he said leans against the door again but of course it’s opened and he almost falls into the ground. 

“Sorry, sorry, i didn’t know someone was out here” says the girl helping to stabilize him, he recognizes the voice quickly and of course (OF FUCKING COURSE) the person that has been in the bathroom the last fifteen minutes is Chloe “i’m sorry, were you waiting for long?”

“Nope” he lies because she sounds like she is embarrassed and he doesn’t want her to feel that way “it’s okay, really Chloe, it wasn’t that long ago, how are you?” 

“Oh, i’m fine” she says shifting her purse from one side to another before giving him a nervous smile “have you seen Alex?” 

“Oh no, i came here with Cameron” he says trying to sound normal, not like that question feels like a punch in the stomach coming from her.

“I came here with him, he was looking for you” Hugo adds after a second.

She shakes her head and huffs a laugh “he has probably found someone else to flirt with by now”

“Don’t say that, Alex isn’t like that” he is quick to say, sounding a little defensive but trying to downplay it with a smile. 

"you have to say that, he is your best friend-"

"Oh no, he is this guy's best friend" he said pointing at Hugo who smiled as he heard him talk "my best friend is Cameron, Alex is barely in my top ten and he is under Finn” he says and she shakes her head again and so does Hugo who is running his matchmaking game that is going pretty smoothly “hey you should go to the bathroom before someone else does?” 

Hugo scoffs but goes anyway and Tyler pulls Chloe a side to tell her “Okay maybe he is not under Finn but i’m a neutral person, like if Alex was a dick, i would tell you, you are also my friend”

A voice inside of him is yelling at him that just because they are on theater club together that doesn’t mean they are friends, they are friendly at most, that they have just talked a few times and that he should stop because does he really want to come over to school everyday and see Alex kissing Chloe every morning before school starts or see them holding hands down the hallways or having to sit next to her during Alex’s baseball games and having to remind himself not to cry because he fucking brought this into himself. 

He brushes that off with only mild discomfort, reminding himself that he wants Alex to get a girlfriend, he wants Alex to be happy just like he wants Cameron to be happy, right?

This is the right thing to do, right? 

“I just-i’ve meet some guys who seem great but the moment i say yes to the date, they become total assholes” Chloe explains and Tyler nods, remembering how Owen was so fucking nice to him for months and then how he bought him a fucking sandwich and asked him to thank him. 

“I know what you mean but i swear that Alex isn’t like that, he is like a really good guy look he loves his abuelita, she is like literally his best friend in this whole world and she is teaching him how to cook, he is super nice to waiters and always tries to tip them, he has amazing musical taste and can show songs you had no idea existed before and i might not know spanish but all those songs are jams, he also knows how to dance and he is like an amazing guy who could be an excellent boyfriend, i mean what more can you ask for?” he says and she gives him a heartfelt smile like she is thinking about it and he looks at her face and he can’t deny she is gorgeous, he also knows that she is really nice and pretty fucking funny from what he remembers from previous conversations so he gets it, he gets why Alex likes her. 

It just shouldn’t hurt this much, it really shouldn’t. 

“Well, when you put it like that, he does sound like a great guy and maybe i should give him a chance” she says nodding “alright if he asks me out again, i’ll say yes, who knows maybe i’ll even ask him”. 

“Great” he responds smiling but feeling like his heart is breaking into pieces.

“But by the way you talk about him, you should be the one to ask him out” she says, obviously joking and he doesn’t what kind of face he makes that she apologizes immediately “i’m sorry, it was a dumb joke, it must be like someone asking you to ask out your brother”

“Yeah” he lies and then he sees Hugo leave the bathroom and runs for it “sorry, i really have to go but good luck” 

"How did it go?" Hugo asks him but he just mumbles a positive answer and he closes the door like if he was the main character in a horror movie and someone was trying to break into his house. 

He takes care of his business and after that he washes his hands and can’t help but to look at himself in the mirror and think “You either really hate yourself or you really love that guy” and responds to himself by thinking “Both, probably both”.

Honestly falling in love with a straight guy is something that would happen to Tyler. 

Not to be dramatic but good things rarely happen to him, sometimes he thinks that he was just born with bad luck, he is the kid that got attacked by a black cat the night his parents died.

To how many people can that happen to?

He also wonders how many people have such a depressing thoughts during parties? 

Eventually Tyler leaves the bathroom, the first thing he sees is Alex happily dancing with Chloe. Fucking great. 

He forces a smile on his face when Hugo makes eye contact with him, he even gives him thumbs up.

He walks away and sits near a group of people playing truth or dare because it’s better than to stand there moping, that’s a good way to get through the night, besides he can’t be mad or sad about this, he asked for this right? RIGHT? 

“Hey, thank you for making me come tonight” Cameron says as he sits next to him, bringing him a soda, he can see Hugo sitting down in front of them.

“Title of your sextape” Tyler said jokingly, a few months ago they had meet Cameron’s uncle who made that joke a lot and they hadn’t been able to stop quoting it. 

Cameron nudged him playfully before saying “Michelle just left but before she did, she said that we could hang out sometime, how did the party go for you?” 

“Hugo and i talked to Dylan Sanvers who offered me weed” Tyler says as he takes the soda “and then i convinced Chloe to give Alex like an actual chance” 

“Yeah i saw them dancing” Cameron responds but he can tell that by the way he is looking at him, he is thinking damn Tyler, sometimes it’s really like you want your life to suck but instead he says “you are really good friend you know that, right?”

“I’m an amazing friend” he says starting to drink his soda, he catches a glance of Chloe whispering something on Alex’s ear and he really fucking wishes he was a bad friend, it would make his life so much fucking easier.

Alex sits in front of him joining the group of people playing truth or dare just when it's Finn's turn to spin the bottle,it feels like everyone tenses because he always picks the worst most personal questions and some mortifying dares so it's not a surprise when Alex doesn't know how to react the bottle lands on him.

It’s okay Alex is not stupid and he won’t get cocky so he is probably going to get an easy one. 

"Alex, truth or dare?" Finn asks him.

"Dare, what do you have for me?"

When Finn glances from Alex’s direction to Tyler, he feels like his heart is beating way to fast in anticipation because he already knows what Finn is thinking about- 

No, he wouldn’t dare-

"I dare you to kiss Tyler for two minutes, with tongue"

People start whooping and laughing and Tyler swears that the world must really hate him.

Who knows? Maybe God does exist and this is him punishing him for being an atheist. 

His eyes meet Alex’s and he wants to say something do something to convince him to reject this dare, he has to because Tyler is sure that if he kisses him is going to hurt, it’s going to be a reminder that he is never going to be able to do it again, that Alex doesn’t like him.

And Tyler has already accept that.

He doesn’t need it to hurt anymore than it actually does.

But instead of saying no, Alex does the worst thing possible, he says "I don’t really care, it's not a big deal, right?"

Now all the eyes are on Tyler like they are waiting for what he has to say but all he can think about is Alex acting like if nothing is happening and maybe nothing is happening for him after all Tyler is his stupid nerdy friend who is like a brother to him. 

So of course he doesn’t care, of course it doesn’t matter, of course this isn’t a big deal. 

And if it isn’t a big deal for Alex, why should it be a big deal for Tyler? 

He stands up and people actually clap, he has to hold himself back from screaming “get a life”. 

They stand in front of each other and right now all that Tyler feels mortificated, he wants to die if someone could come and take him now he would be very grateful. 

Okay maybe he is overreacting. Maybe this is good, maybe he'll kiss Alex and won't feel a thing, maybe it will feel like kissing his brother and then he'll be able to move on and the sinking feeling in his chest when he sees him with someone else will finally disappear. 

He really wants it-

No, he needs it to disappear. 

"So you brushed your teeth today?" he asks trying to lighten the mood with a charming smile that he knows all too well. 

He almost replies "no, I haven't brushed my teeth in weeks-maybe a month?" because he knows that is going to make Alex laugh. 

Of course that's when he hears the music change and now hotline bling starts playing and Tyler wants to scream. 

"jesus fucking christ" he mutters under his breath, he is not sure if Alex hears him. 

Alex turns around to look at Amanda as she screams "Ready?"

Tyler wants to scream back "NO!" but his body gives an step forward and when Alex turns back to look at him, he remembers thousands of moments when he thought "Oh my god, I want to kiss him" in the last years of his life. 

“On your marks, ready, set and go” Amanda said pressing the buttons. 

Alex closes his eyes as he leans in and Tyler imitates his movements, they collide a little too hard,he thinks about tilting his head but Alex is the one to tilts his head and pressing closer, after that he is expecting Alex to pull away immediately, laughing with a thousand apologies streaming out of his mouth but he doesn't, instead of doing that, he just puts his hands on his waist. 

He wasn't expecting that. 

When he feels a tongue, he actually shivers and he can even hear Alex lets out a startled noise from the back of his throat.

Is that good? is that bad? should he ask? it’s not like he can google it right now! 

It’s not like he has ever done anything like this before. 

He doesn’t know what to do now, he is pretty sure that he is not going to be able to touch Alex’s waist so he puts his hands on his shoulders and when he doesn’t try to pull away, he brushes his thumb gently across Alex’s jaw.

Because he has always wanted to and this might be the only time he’ll ever be able to. 

When Alex moves his hands from his waist, he almost lets go of his face but then he feels him touching his hair and he is running his fingers through it and his heart is beating so fast that he thinks that this might kill him.

He also thinks that if it does then it’s worth it.

The countdown starts and he is not sure what to do about it, all he can think about it’s that this is like nothing he has ever felt before.

Kissing Alex is the complete opposite of Denise, that day she tasted like strawberry cake which Tyler loves and meanwhile Alex tastes like he just ate cheetos which are not his cup of tea but when he kissed her he felt nothing but when he kisses Alex... He feels everything. 

If kissing Denise feels “that’s it?”, kissing Alex feels like “this is it!”

He almost laughs, at least now he knows what the fuss is all about. 

"TWO...ONE"

He doesn’t know who pulled away first, maybe they did it at the same time, he opens his eyes and Alex is staring back at him blinking repeatedly, hand still up like he just got it out of that bird nest that Tyler likes to call hair.

Alex is looking at him like it’s the first time he has ever seen him and Tyler doesn’t know if that’s good or bad.

All he knows that Alex shouldn’t look this good blushing and if Alex is blushing then Tyler is pretty sure he probably looks like a red tomato, he hears the prodding and congratulatory claps and whistles and he reminds himself what was this for. This is a game and this means nothing to Alex, they are just friends that’s it.

He wants to laugh and say “Oh my god, that was so stupid” but he can’t talk, it’s like the words won’t reach his mouth. 

But he is still able to smile so that’s what they do, they smile at each other, faces blushing and lips slightly swollen.

He walks towards Cameron and sits next to him like nothing just happened but he can’t, the moment Alex walks away, Tyler stands up and says “I’m going to the bathroom”, Finn tries to put his arm around him, he is talking to him and he can tell he is drunk, maybe that’s why he thought his stupid dare was fucking funny.

When he asks him in this stupid fucking voice “oh, are you embarrassed?”

He can feel his jaw was tighten with irritation and there was obvious tension built up in his shoulders, he pushes him away before saying “you’re SO fucking annoying”.

Finn looks actually hurt like he doesn’t understand which is good because he doesn’t want him to understand and bad because he doesn’t want to hurt Finn, he really doesn’t.

He is about to apologize when Finn says "Why are you so upset? You just kissed him, that's basically nothing, no one is asking you to-".

Tyler clenches his jaw bracing himself, he doesn’t let him finish, he turns around and walks away, he goes outside, he really needs some time alone, to think, to-

“Oh, hey” Dylan says still messing around with his vape pen “Change your mind?”

He shook his head, ready to go back inside, not sure which one was worse. 

“Listen, i know that during the first time we can all turn into lightways, it happens to the best of us, it’s totally better the second time” 

Yeah, the world fucking hates him.

“It’s cool, i was friends with Owen, he told me that you did it once” he says and when he brings up the name feels like a punch in the gut, Dylan takes a look at Tyler before asking “is it true? because he also said that you threw a brick to his car and you don’t look strong enough to throw a brick from a long distance?”

“Ha, last time he told that story it was just a rock” he scoffed before clarifying “i mean i smoked weed with him but like everything else is a lie” 

“Don’t worry man, i believe you” he said but Tyler can’t tell if he is being honest or not, maybe he just wanted some gossip “some other guys and me are going to be here do you want anything? you look bad, kid”

He is about to make a lame explanation and say that he has to go home but then he hears a voice scream and he turns around to see Denise “TYLER!”

“How are you?” she asks him before hugging him and he smells her breath and yep, drunk, hammered. 

“Not as good as you obviously” he told her trying to take the red cup from her hand. 

“Have you ever tried orange vodka?” she asks with a lazy shrug. 

“Nope but i think you should try sitting down” he says worried that she is going to fall but then she pulls away from him and walks towards Dylan, more people are walking outside and oh my god, he is stuck.

So when he gets passed a cup of vodka with orange juice.

And then another one.

And another one. 

And like DJ khaled would say “ANOTHER ONE!” 

By the time Cameron finds him, he is buzzed, he can tell that much when they get on a UBER. 

“I’m taking you home, okay?” he tells him, Tyler starts laughing “you are so drunk”. 

“No, i’m not” he says leaning on his shoulder. 

“Yes, you are” he says but he settles his head on top of his “look, i know that the dare thing was bad but-”

“No, i don’t want to talk about it” he responds shaking his head. 

“I know but listen” Cameron says now looking at him and holding his head “dude, you didn’t see the way he looked at you after the kiss”. 

“No, don’t” he says shaking his head. 

“But-”

“Please” he says basically pleading

“Fine, we don’t have to talk about that” Cameron agrees and they stay in silent for a second. 

“Do you think that Alex is going to talk to me on Monday?” 

Cameron snorts at that “If Alex doesn’t talk to you on Monday, i’ll give you 20 dollars”. 

That’s the only thing he can think about when he is taking out his books from the locker and Alex passes him by with such coldness that it finally feels like he has finished sinking and now he has finally being swallowed whole. 

If it was just one day, it would fine, if it was just monday, Tyler would not care but Alex doesn’t talk to him for a whole week, he acts like he doesn’t exist, like these three last years didn’t even happened and part of Tyler can’t stop thinking that he somehow knows, that he fucking knows and that’s why because he thinks that Tyler is a creep and weirdo who is in love with one of his best friends and you know what? If Alex going to be like that, then two can play that game.

When Alex comes to sit next to him, he stands up and goes to sit somewhere else. 

And regrets it as soon as he sees Chloe sit next Alex during class. 

He wants to cry and scream but he did this to himself so he should be able to keep it to himself. 

Cameron has apparently made up with Finn and confirms something that Tyler already knows that Chloe has asked out Alex and they are going on a date tomorrow,he offers to spent the next day with him but he thinks that he should be able handle it on his own, however as soon as he wakes up he uninstalls instagram because he doesn’t need to see those pictures right now. 

Not a lot happens but he can see that something is going on with Butch, she is walking into walls, when he calls her it takes minutes for her to realize where he is and the final straw is when Finn officially calls him to apologize and tell him that he didn’t mean to screw everything up and Butch jumps from the bed but instead of falling on the floor like she always does, she lets out a somewhat pained sound that worries Tyler so much that he almost hangs up on Finn right way instead he tells him that they are cool and that he’ll call him soon.

The next morning he takes butch on his arms and takes her to the closest veterinarian, that’s when the doctor announces that Butch is officially blind and that there is no way to fix it. 

“she can only see 30% of everything” he says like he was just saying that she had something in her eye meanwhile Tyler is still stuck in shock staring at his baby noticing for the first time that she had this lost look on her face “it’s normal she is old, it’s bound to happen”. 

“But-” he splutters now clutching his dog to his chest.

“She must be around ten years old, she has only a few years to live by” he said now writing a note like if nothing what’s going on “if i was you i would think of getting a new dog”.

Tyler is left open mouthed holding Butch even closer to him as he took the note, the door keep talking about eye drops and oral gels he had buy meanwhile Tyler can only focus on the smell of his dog and the words “she has only a few years to live” and “there is not way to fix this". 

He can’t even keep it together for long enough to get out of the room, he is crying the whole way home and doesn’t even put Butch down to be able to walk home, he keeps her in his arms like if someone is going to come to steal her away from him.

When he makes it home, Sarah and Jill basically have to sit him down and he has to show them the paper for them to understand what he is saying, Sarah ends up taking Butch a side to get her food and water meanwhile Jill lets him put his head on her lap and as she plays with his hair “listen, we are going to take care of Butch until her last days of life and she has had a great life until now, right? i mean how many dogs have handmade clothes?”

This time he laughs and sniffs at the same time before letting out more tears, he is already taking out his cellphone to text Cameron if he can come over and he gets a quick response of “i’ll bring you ice cream” and he smiles at his phone. 

Jason also shows up, talking about how he is going to order pizza, actually two pizzas which is sweet and he hears the doorbell ring, he basically runs to the door to open it but instead of him, Alex is standing there with this regretful expression on his face.

After he recovers from his initial shock,Tyler has to fight the urge to shut the door on his face as he says “i thought you were cameron”.

That makes Alex’s face twist as he stares at him trying to make eye contact, he has probably noticed that he is crying and probably thinks that he is crying for him and the guilt is eating him. 

Tyler should be okay with it but he is not, he doesn’t want to make Alex feels bad, he is also fighting another urge to forgive him right away and let him in but he decides to get out himself “hi, sorry i’m a mess”. 

“you look like pete davidson’s long lost little brother” he says making him smile and Tyler gets angry at himself for that “I’m sorry, i should have called first”

“you didn’t because you thought that i would have told you not to come”

“you wouldn’t have?” he says hopefully but Tyler doesn’t respond, mostly because he doesn’t know, he would have probably said "no" but Alex could have convinced him.

They sit on the porch in this deadly silence wondering who should say something, he knows that Alex will break first because he hates silence but still Tyler goes first “i’m not crying because of you” but he sounds like he is about to start crying again “shit, i didn’t mean it like that, it sounded way better in my head, i meant i’m not crying because of you so don’t feel bad, okay?”

“so you are not mad at me?” he asks softly with so much hope but Tyler is still mad.

“i’m not happy with you but this isn’t because of you” he said pointing at his own crying face.

“then what happened?” he almost wants to shake his head and let it be but he is looking at him with those sad eyes like he is so worried about him so he tells him everything 

He tries to stay calm when he explains it because he doesn’t want to have another dog or need another dog, he just wanted to help his dog and turns out he can’t, he fucking can't help his dog and he is useless and his dog is going to die soon, he is going to lose her and- 

Alex holds his hand and squeezes it in such a way that it makes a fart noise.

He chuckles because it’s sweet and he understand what Alex is trying to do but he pulls his hand away quickly and when he turns to look at him, Alex is looking at him like he just kicked him which is not fair, he ignored him a whole week and Tyler just can’t brush it off, this hurted, he has to apologize, Tyler deserves an apology-

“I'm sorry that you had to deal with that fucking moron and I'm sorry for avoiding you this week you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry about the party, if you feel like I pressure you or put you in a position in which you felt uncomfortable saying no” he says honestly and earnestly and just like that they are cool until Tyler process what he just said again.

The idea that kissing Alex would have make him uncomfortable is almost funny. 

Well, it would be funny if he wasn't in love with him and hadn't accepted that it was probably the only chance he was ever going to have to kiss Alex. 

Now he could deny it, just take the apology but he can tell that Alex is seriously worried that he made him feel uncomfortable so he says “okay, three things, first yeah the guy was a fucking moron but language, second I forgive you and third about what happened at the party, you didn’t pressure me and i wasn’t uncomfortable, maybe i would have been with someone else but not with you” he admits all at once because it’s true and he doesn’t want Alex to think that he was ever uncomfortable by that kiss even if Alex doesn’t feel the same way he does.

“me too” Alex surprisingly agrees and Tyler smiles to himself, even if that just means that he would just kiss him out of default because kissing Finn would be a nightmare for any of them, kissing Cameron would have been strange for both of them because Tyler and him are too close and Alex and Cameron don’t hang out that much, kissing Hugo would also be just weird because he would have cleaned his mouth on his sleeve. 

When he says it to Alex, he laughs and agrees with him talking about how if he kisses Hugo then it would have been a giant disaster like if their kiss hadn't stopped them from talking to each other for a whole week. 

But when he points that out to Alex and expects him to agree with him, he goes "ours was good" and it's like Tyler's brain had just died like every single one of his brain cells decided to leave to go on vacation because,what does that mean? 

Did Alex liked kissing Tyler? 

He almost has to slap himself, no, Alex doesn't want to fucking kiss you, he is just messing with you, he is just kidding, he is joking, he thinks this whole thing is so funny, you are just a joke to him, okay?

So that's what he does, he makes a joke out of it because there is no actual way that Alex would actually want to kiss him again even if he looked offended by Tyler telling him that the kiss was only and 8 out of 10. 

The only thing that matter to him is that they are back to normal so Alex and him can be friends again. 

Even if Cameron keeps on insisting that Alex saying that their kiss was good means something when it was clearly all a joke.

What's not a joke is Dylan inviting him to his private party and Tyler considers not going for a few seconds before he decides to suck it up and go for them because that way he can avoid talking about Owen, he just wants to forget that night even happened. 

That's why when Dylan asks him if he can show his friends how to use a vape pen, he thinks back to all of the murder documentaries that he has watched and thinks of ways of killing him, still he makes up a story on the spot because it's easier than explaining that whole thing there in front of this group of strangers and he is silently grateful when Cameron backs him up.

Even if he wants to kill him again when he notices him giving him a look when he is showing Alex how to use the vape pen like Tyler is missing on something but this is how Alex has always looked at him. 

Then he tries it himself and after a few seconds Tyler has decided that maybe weed is not so bad, they are relaxed, they are laughing and it feels like nothing bad could even happened last week and life is so good, everything is good except for the fact that he is hungry and a little sleep but the good news is that he gets to go home with Alex and eat junk food.

By the point in which they are laying in bed next to each other and listening to music it feels like are the troubles in the world are gone, even after Alex falls asleep, at least he didn’t notice that Tyler was staring at him while listening to “someone you deserve” by George Salazar, he changes that song so quickly when he wakes up and puts on twenty one pilots, he is so into the song that he hasn’t notice that Alex seems to be staring at him in some sort of daze. 

“Tyler” he says, Alex sounds anxious and nervous like he is trying to keep it together like there is something very important he is going to say and all Tyler can think about is HE KNOWS. HE FUCKING KNOWS AND YOU ARE SO FUCKED.

“Have you thought about-” he says and stops himself again by taking a deep breath “the kiss since the weekend?”

Tyler doesn’t know what to respond to that. He wasn’t expecting it but before he even manages to nods, Alex closes his eyes like he is shielding himself from his reaction as he says “Because i have”. 

He wants to ask “you have?” and “is that good or is that bad?”, there are so many questions pilling inside of his head,it’s a lot to take in but every single thought stops when he notices how terrified Alex is, how scared he is that Tyler is going to reject him and all he can think about is how fucking brave he is because Tyler would have never said anything. 

He was never going to say anything. 

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and i-” he continues but he stops when Tyler puts his hands around his face and he can feel him relax himself against the palm of his hands. 

“Please look at me” he says and just like that Alex opens his eyes and Tyler suddenly feels the need to tell him that he always loved his eyes but when he scoots closer to him is like every single intelligent thought he ever had just died, he is suddenly just a blushing giggling mess that is only able to say “hi”

“Hi” he responds, Tyler stares at him for a couple of seconds, his eyes darting towards his mouth like he has done so many time wishing he could kiss him and this time he can but his brain has apparently died because words won’t made it out and he is stuck looking at his eyes and his lips and- “Can i kiss you?”

He is about to nod but he catches himself remembering the coldness he felt when Alex walked past him on monday and his brain actually listens to that because he says “With one condition that you promise me that you’ll talk to me on monday, no matter what”“ 

“Of course, i promise” Alex says so incredibly quickly like he didn’t even need to think twice like he had also dreaded that week as much as he did "i’m even calling you tomorrow, so that i can get that 10/10 score”

He is about to call him a dummy but then he looks at Alex’s face and he can see how much he wants to kiss him and his heart is pounding as he decides to kiss his forehead first because he has always wanted to, then he lowers his lips to kiss his cheeks and he can feel Alex’s breath hot against his lips but instead of kissing him right away, he kisses his nose because he wants to, because he can and most importantly because Alex is blushing more and more with each kiss. 

That’s when he finally closes the gap between the two of them and they was they kiss is messy, far from perfect but it’s better than he ever imagined and he knows that Alex is into it by the way he kisses back and plays with his hair trying to pull him closer and he cups his face brushing his thumb gently across Alex’s jaw and for the first time in years it feels like he isn’t sinking.

That’s of course when Alex’s phone rings and he pulls away so that he can answer the phone call. 

“No” Alex says,it sounds like a cross between a groan and a whine as he leans closer to Tyler’s face and his skin tingles “don’t answer”. 

Tyler can’t help to smile for many reasons because how can Alex not realize that’s his phone and not Tyler’s but mainly it’s because Alex wants to keep on kissing him. 

He cocks his head to the side, instead presses a kiss on his right cheek before whispering “that’s YOUR phone, dumbass”.

“Oh” he said checking his phone, rolling his eyes as he read Elena’s name, until he sees that she send him a message then he stands up from the bed so quickly and Tyler gets why as he explains that his abuelita is hurt. 

Tyler runs to get him some cologne and gel to get rid off the smell, he also insist on Alex his shirt just in case that the one he is wearing might smell and if his mom finds out she might kill him and Tyler really wants him to live so that they can kiss again, Alex obviously makes fun of him as he walks him to the door.

“Go home, Alex and fix your hair on the way there” 

“Your hair is a mess too, just so you know” he says with his smug smile that makes Tyler feel flustered.

He opens the door for him to go and Tyler gives him a kiss on the cheek before he goes and he waits for him to get on the bus as soon as he does, Tyler closes the front as a high-pitched bark of laughter that becomes into bubbling giggles as he slides down sitting on the floor, it’s like a release of all the pent-up energy that has been inside of him for year.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? He thinks to himself but he is so happy that he can’t bring himself to answer that, instead he runs to his room and throws himself into his bed feeling like he is on a romcom and he stares at Alex’s shirt that he left on the floor and thinks about putting it in the dirty laundry and giving it back on monday but he holds it close to him and it smells like Alex so he puts it on just to remind himself that this afternoon really DID happened.

That’s when Butch barks letting him know that he should take her out or she’ll pee on everything in this house so he stands up to take her out and when he comes back Sarah and Jill are already there and making dinner. 

“Hi” he says chipperly as he walked to his room. 

“Wow, you sound happy” Jill pulls him in for a hug and he realizes that she might be able to smell the weed on him, she pulls back from him slowly and looking at him with grimace.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK-

“Oh my god, are you wearing axe body spray?” she said still horrified, Sarah was standing amused in the background, he was about to say no but how is he going to explain that he is wearing Alex’s t-shirt. 

“I like it” he said instead with shrug and she rolls her eyes letting him go to his room and his cellphone beeps, Alex just texted him and for a second he fully panics and thinks that he has taken it all back, that he has realized that he had made a giant mistake and- 

“hey, since i’m texting you right now? does that mean i get an score of 11/10?” the text says and he has to sit on his bed because he wasn’t expecting that and wide smile appears on his lips while Butch looks up at him before attempting to get in bed with him.

He helps her to get up and puts her on his lap and he asks her “what do you think i should respond?” Butch tilts her head like he doesn’t understand his dilemma “ugh, you are too cute, you don’t understand my troubles”.

She responds by licking his nose as he gets an idea and he takes a picture of him with Butch, he gives the thumbs up and sends it before falling back in the bed and Butch curls up next to him. 

“If you wanted to keep it, you should have just asked for it” Alex texts a second later, Tyler had actually forgotten about the shirt but he wasn’t going to say that. 

“i didn’t plan it, my sister smelled and didn’t notice anything weird so it was actually safe but now that you say that, then cool, you are never going to see this shirt again” he clicks the “send” button.

“you’ll never see yours either then” Alex responds, he smiles to himself, HA! like that’s treath.

“Deal :)”. he replies. 

Before going to eat dinner, he stares on the mirror trying to look at himself, he looks the same as he did yesterday but there is this smile glued to his face that he can’t shake off, it only widens when Sarah asks him if he did something to his hair because it looks nicer than usual. 

The next day he goes to the beach, he has so much fun and he wants to take a picture of how nice it looks that day, he thinks of uploading it to instagram but then remembers that he deleted the app and then he remembers why he deleted the app. 

He still downloads it again because he is a fucking masochist and that proves to be right because he never uploads any fucking picture instead he looks at the ones of the date of Chloe and Alex, Tyler suddenly realizes that he is not sure of what is supposed to happen on monday, his giddiness is still there but there is a part of him that’s still screaming that just because Alex kissed him that doesn’t mean that he wants to be with him or be his boyfriend, it doesn’t mean anything, he closes his eyes and reminds himself that he texted, Alex texted him and that should-that HAS to mean something, right?

RIGHT?

He falls asleep with one last thought in his mind "Don’t get your hopes up".

When he sees Alex the next day at school, he doesn’t know if the tension is there or if he is just imagining everything because Alex is acting normal like nothing even happened and that’s all he think about through math, history and english. 

Until they sit down to eat lunch and Alex sits on his right side where Cameron usually does, he is about to say that’s his place but then slides his hand off the table and grabs Tyler’s hand, intertwining their fingers, the words die on his lips and he looks back to his plate, the guys are already walking towards them. 

“This is okay, right?” he murmurs sounding nervous. 

“Yeah” he says and squeezes his hand.

Cameron doesn’t question why he is sitting there because he is distracted by Hugo and Finn discussing how apparently Mrs. Hopkins is having an affair with Mr.White and if they notice Alex eating with his left hand, they don’t mention it.

Then he asks him if he can come over to his house after school so that he can help him with homework, he is about to ask what homework he is talking about but by the way he lifts up his eyebrows he can tell that he is not talking about homework. 

He goes home and fixes his room again and again to avoid thinking what it’s going to happen once Alex rings the doorbell, he is pacing in his room from side to side after changing his clothes three times, butch is laying on her bed and he wishes he could be as relaxed as her. 

When he finally arrives, Butch stands up and walks behind him when he goes to open the door, he turns back twice just to make sure that she didn’t walk into a wall, he opens the door and Alex is standing there with his hands fidgeting, he smiles up at him nervously and walks in, he says “Hi” to Jill and Sarah before they run into his room. 

He walks inside of his room first because he wants-no, he needs for Alex to close the door, he needs to know what’s going on between the two of them, he still doesn’t know what he wants to talk about but he has convinced himself that if he wants to let him down easy then he’ll leave the door partly closed and if he wants to say something else then he’ll close the door completely. 

Alex trails behind him and leaves the door open for a second so butch can walk in and then he closes the door looking directly into his eyes like he is asking him again “is this okay?” 

Tyler nods and Alex locks the door. 

They are standing there in front of each other in silence that is making Tyler panic even more because what if closing the door means nothing? what if closing the door is just so that Sarah and Jill won’t listen to him telling Tyler that he doesn’t like him and that he is straight? what if he doesn’t want to be his friend anymore? what if-

Alex tugs his head down to meet his own and presses his lips against his, in his hurry to do that his nose bumps into his, Tyler has to put his hands on his shoulders to stabilize himself and all the points of contact are all wrong but he leans in all at once because he couldn’t care less, it’s like he can finally relax. 

Alex is not here to let him down easy. 

He is here to kiss him. 

Kissing like this is different, partly because the first time they kissed while standing up Tyler bent down, the second time they were in the bed so they were at the same level but right now he is worried that they are both going to fall back because Alex keeps on pulling him towards him.

Tyler always imagined (the few times he let himself do it) that if they kissed, Alex would have to stand on his tiptoes to do it but instead his fingers are wrapped up in his hair, pulling him down to bring him closer to him and the way he does it is so hard that it stings a little. 

It should bother him, he usually hates his hair being pulled so much that he quits on brushing it sometimes but-

But,he finds it hot, okay?

Leave him alone. 

Now he is just worried about screwing something up because Alex has kissed other people and he has more experience in this department so he knows what he is doing, Tyler is just trying to mimic every single thing that he has seen on television and he thinks he is doing okay. 

Tyler drops his hands from his shoulders to his waist,he’s half-slouched,kissing him back when Alex bites his tongue.

“Ow-” he said as they pulled away and covered his own mouth trying to stifle a laugh, he is not sure if it’s okay to laugh at something like this or if Alex is going to get offended or if he should just lean back in.

“SHIT! SORRY! SORRY! I’M SO SORRY!” Alex said sounding in so much panic and concern “CRAP! here, come here!”

He makes him sit on the bed like Tyler has a black eye or an split lip, he is honestly exaggerating. 

“I’m okay” he says with shrug as he licks his lips experimentally, yeah his tongue is fine “It hurt a little but it’s fine”

He notices Alex staring at his mouth carefully, he is about to insist that he is okay when he realizes that he wants to kiss him again. 

“I’m sorry” he repeats again like Tyler is going to kick him out of his house, he laughs because the idea of him deciding to never kiss Alex again sounds so incredibly ridiculous, also finding out that Alex is way less smooth and graceful than Tyler had fantasized he'd be is actually kind of great.

“Oh, i’m sure that you can make it up to me” he replies leaning in again. 

“Yeah?” he said with a grin appearing on his face, Tyler nods before leaning into him so hard Alex needed to throw an arm back to hold himself up, Alex kisses him more gently, nearly apologetically this time. 

It’s almost funny. 

This time they only pull back from each other because their lungs are starting to fail and they lay in his bed, breathless next to each other for a few seconds in complete silence, he turns to look at Alex who is numbly touching mouth, he wants to ask what he is thinking about but what comes out instead is “so is it different?”

“What?” Alex asks lowering his hand. 

“kissing girls from kissing boys?” he asks with genuine curiosity. 

“I think kissing each person is different” he says, he sounds so diplomatic that he thinks that it’s bullshit but then he adds “I don’t think i have ever kissed anyone like this”

He is putting his hand on top of his waiting for Tyler to turn it around to intertwine their fingers. 

“I like it” he says more to himself than anything “I really like kissing you“

“Probably because i let you slip in some tongue” he says jokingly as he turns his hand around to hold Alex’s hand. 

“Oh,ja ja, que funny” Alex replied snorting before saying more seriously ”it’s more than that”

Tyler hears that and doesn’t really know what to do with himself, his brain keeps on screaming that he shouldn’t get his hopes up but his hand is desperately holding onto Alex’s.

“I really like how your lips are really soft and how your hair feels” he says like it’s partly a revelation but also sounding slightly frustrated “i also really like that thing you do with your thumbs on my face and i think i-”

He stops himself there and Tyler thinks that there are three possible things he is could say: 

a)i think i might like boys.  
b)i think i could like you.  
c) i like you.

And Tyler is not sure how he is going to handle any of those answers. 

“You need to know I like it for more than that,okay?” Alex says, huh, turns out it was d) none of the others. 

“I know you do” he says, wanting to sound smug but it comes out cracked “I also really like kissing you”.

“Oh, i know you do” he says actually sounding smug, Tyler scoffs but Alex holds his face as he leans in to kiss him again. 

And that’s that. 

For a while it feels like they are sitting on this strange nebulous place in which he doesn’t know what they are,he doesn’t really know what Alex is thinking or what he wants and he is not hoping for anything, he is half expecting him to tell him one morning that he is just experimenting and that he is not really into him, that he doesn’t really want him or for him to change his mind, there is a big part of Tyler that just doesn’t trust whatever this is, that tells him that he is going to end up with his heart broken, that this is just temporary, that Alex is going to dump him like a dirty sock and there are days in which he can’t fall asleep because he is thinking about the 100 different ways this could end up going badly.

But then he thinks of how Alex kisses him, how he holds his hand underneath the table during lunch, the way they text each other every single day, how he said that he can’t sit next to him during class because he says that he finds Tyler too distracting, he thinks of how what they have going on is pretty great and he has never felt more safe because he knows that Alex would never hurt him. 

Still every time they kiss it feels like he is falling directionessly without knowing if there is even a safe place to land. 

He convinces himself that it’s a leap of fate.

It all changes one afternoon when he shows Alex the album of his parents, he is expecting him to be bored but instead he looks more focused than he ever as he looks back from the pictures to Tyler’s face

Alex tells him “you look a lot like him too” as he keeps on scanning the picture as he adds “you have your mom’s freckles”.

Tyler opens his mouth but not sounds comes out, he wants to tell Alex how he doesn’t get told that very often, that most of his family don’t really talk to him and his siblings and he doesn’t ask questions because he knows that it’s going to end up in tears, that everything keeps on moving on so he tries to do it too and sometimes he wonders about how things could have been different like there is an alternate reality in which his parents were still alive, they would have loved Alex the same way they loved Sarah and Alyssa, they would have loved Zoe.

But he doesn’t, he kisses him in the cheek and Alex blushes (HE GODDAMN BLUSHES) and smiles widely at him,Tyler squeezes his hand hoping that he’ll understand that in some way him saying that means a lot and maybe in the moment caught in all the sentimentalism he says what he was just thinking about “and i know i never really got to know them but i think they would have liked you too”.

He is about cover his ass and say “PFFT, NOT LIKE YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND OR ANYTHING,WHAAAT?” but Alex is looking at him directly in the eyes like he doesn’t know what to say like he just overwhelmed him and that’s when something comes else out of his mouth “She also said that she talked to an exorcist once and she told her that when a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore”

“So ghosts are not homophobic?” he responds as they both burst into laughter, Tyler is stuck between relief and disappointment because the moment was just lost until Alex says “maybe that’s how i should come out, i’ll go up to Elena and i’ll be like did you know ghosts are not able to be homophobic? that means ghost abuelito is very proud of us two, yeah, both of us, i have a boyfriend now, by the way”.

Tyler smiles automatically, it feels like a reflex, like hearing the word boyfriend just changed something when it hasn’t, it’s obvious that Alex is only joking, he is not seriously thinking of dating Tyler, he doesn’t feel the same way he does, he doesn’t want to be his stupid boyfriend-

“i’m not ready to tell people,” he says panicked like Tyler is going to dump him for that when he wasn't expecting anything from him, he only wants him to come out when he is ready, he doesn’t want his coming out to be like his, he wants him to only be out if he is ready to be out.

“Alex, we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, okay?” he says camly before holding his hands nodding, hoping that if he does it enough, Alex will be able to know that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want do.

“I know that our friends won’t care and i know that my family would react well like Elena would be over the moon and Schneider would try to give you some type of shovel talk that you would try not to laugh at, I might have to do a powerpoint presentation explaining bisexuality to abuelita but Elena could help me with that and mami wouldn’t care but the next time you go to my house the door would have to stay open, Elena can’t kiss Syd unless my mom goes to the bathroom but we can go somewhere else and you know we can go to the opera with Abuelita and Dr. berkowitz, unless you don’t like opera”

He hears that gigantic speech, imagining each one of those milestone in his head and it sounds wonderful making his heart flutter “I don’t care as long as i get to spend time with you”. 

Alex smiles at him like he doesn’t know how much this means to him until his eyes start to water and Tyler doesn’t know why but he starts to wipe his tears away as Alex starts to talk again “and then there is papi but you know what? fuck whatever he thinks, you know? like fuck that, especially after that little stunt he pulled on Elena’s birthday and then disappearing like that”

Tyler bites the inside of his mouth because he hates to see him like this and the time he has seen Alex’s dad do this to him make him so fucking- 

He just honestly wished that could smack some sense into Alex’s dad sometimes. 

Okay. Many times. 

Alright, All the fucking time. 

“i won’t tell anyone, i promise, this is between you and me and fuck everyone else, okay?” Tyler tells him instead, putting his hands on his shoulders trying to comfort him. 

Alex sniffs for a few seconds as Tyler puts his photo album away “i’m actually a little surprised that you haven’t told Cameron about us”.

“i wouldn’t tell him without you knowing and i don’t tell him everything, there is plenty of stuff i don’t tell Cameron” Alex lifts an eyebrow, yeah not even Tyler believes that “alright, there are very few things i don’t tell him but that’s not the point” 

“it’s just that you told him about Owen and no one knew about that” Tyler almost laughs when he hears that because he wished that he could tell him what happened, how fucked up it was and how right Alex was but this isn’t the moment for that. 

“Oh that’s like so not the same, you and owen are not on the same level, you are way higher” Tyler says feeling excited as he says the next part of the sentence “you are my boyfriend”.

“Oh, Come here” Alex says looking as happy as he feel peppering kisses all over his face and Tyler not longer feels like he is falling without direction. 

And just like that Alex becomes his boyfriend.

And he wasn’t expecting that, he had prepare himself for every single horrible scenario but not for this and there is still a part of his brain that hasn’t accepted it yet,he hates admitting it but he keeps on expecting Alex to break up with him, to tell him that he doesn’t really like him or that it’s just not going to work out and he prepares himself for that. 

He expects it at different moments like if it was inevitable but all that never happens instead Alex and him keep on kissing and holding hands, they go on a date, he is expecting something to happen while he is away visiting Jeremy and he worries about smothering Alex with texts and phone calls but he is the one who insist on them video chatting at least once a day and texting each other as often as possible but the real surprise is finding out that Alex came out to most of his family and to their friends. 

And that he wants him to tell his family, Tyler actually tells Jeremy right away because he has been dying to talk about it with someone, he almost throws him off the couch trying to wake him up to tell him everything. 

Of course not everything is perfect, Alex gets grounded but Tyler is still sure that he’ll find a way to see him that day even if he can’t talk to him for the rest of the break.

That’s how he ends up climbing a fire escape in San Valentines Day and almost having two heart attacks when he slips but once he sees Alex’s face, it feels like everything was worth it.

And when he sees his face when he looks at the present, he knows that it was all worth it. 

Of course, he has to go fast and he is still unable to see him him for the rest of the break but every time he misses him, he just plays the CD just to remember the way Alex smiled to him that day.

And he notices that Alex has a similar smile to Lydia’s even if she insist that Alex actually has a resemblance to her husband that is just uncanny, he still thinks that two of them are more similar which makes talking to her easier even if he is panicking inside. 

He has never been alone with Alex’s abuelita before and even if he knows that she likes him just fine, he thinks that the moment she finds out that he is dating Alex, she is going to hate him because he knows how much she adores Alex and he is just not what she had in mind for him, he is after all an atheist and not cuban but his main concern is that she is going to take one look at him and she’ll think he is not good enough for Alex.

But then Alex tells her and all she does is inviting him to dinner and when she sees him cleaning Alex’s chin and pulls him into a hug, even calls him “mijo” and Tyler is just so confused but he is just so happy that she likes him that he won’t question anything else, he just hold his hand underneath the table and it all just feels right when Alex turns to smile at him.

He really loves that smile,he would do anything to keep it there and anything not to lose it. 

That's why he is so worried when Alex tells him that his dad is visiting them. 

He knows that he has never really meet Alex’s dad, he saw him once and thought that he seemed nice but then he stood up Elena at her quinces, he didn’t talk to Alex for months before just showing up again and when Alex even thought of coming out to him, he broke down crying and that’s all he knows about him so excuse him if he is not the guy’s biggest fan and he is worried about what is going to happen when he sees him again. 

“So you don’t want Alex to give him a second chance” Jill says when he tells her all of that.

“No, i just don’t want Alex to get hurt and i know that he says that he has changed but-” he quickly realizes that yeah, he doesn’t want Alex to give him another chance “do you think he deserves another chance?”

“Me? nope, but doesn’t matter what i think, it’s about what Alex wants” she says simply and he hates that she is right.

“Yeah but what if he comes out to him?” he said remembering the way Alex had almost sobbed that day “it’s not that i don’t want him to, it’s his choice, i know but what if-”

“if he gets hurt, what do you do then?” his sister ends the sentence for him and he nods waiting for her answer “the only thing you can do you are there for him no matter what”. 

Big part of him wants to call bullshit but she is right, he can’t stop Alex from giving his dad another chance and he cannot look inside of that man’s brain to know that he has changed for sure, all he can do is be there for Alex. 

So he is. 

That night he makes himself a cup of coffee and stays up talking on the phone with him about his very weird night but he is glad that it went well and that he had fun.

The next day, he goes to have rehearsal which goes relatively well, they have learned their lines and with some help they'll be ready for that day, Denise says that they should go for ice cream and they all agree. 

He has to sit next to Chloe which should be good in theory because he doesn't hate her, he is not jealous anymore and he told Alex that he was going to try to be "ACTUAL" friends with her. 

It takes some time but they eventually manage to make conversation about Mr. Hopkins and the play then they talk about the Beetlejuice musical and discuss their favorite songs, everyone actually leaves and they are still there talking and she is about to ask him a question when her cell phone rings so she goes home. 

He is about to pay and go home when Alex calls him, he knows something is wrong with just hearing his voice so orders himself another milkshake and waits for them to arrive, the confirmation is that his shirt is stained and his attitude just seems off to him.

Usually he wouldn’t push, he would let Alex tell him on his own when he is ready but this time, he just has a feeling that something is very wrong.

When he goes to the bathroom, Tyler wants to follow him but waits a few minutes not to look too suspicious, he doesn’t want Lydia or Elena to think that he wants to go to make out with Alex in the bathroom.

“Oh my god, look at that beautiful baby, Elena” Lydia says but Elena remains unimpressed, Tyler does smiles and waves at the little boy who looks like he is trying to fit his whole fist on his mouth and he is distracted enough not to realize that Elena is looking at him like he just make a huge mistake.

“So Tyler” Lydia says with interest and he turns to look at her “you like kids?”

“Everyone likes kids, specially babies, they are just so cute” he responds diplomatic as ever but Elena shakes her head “I babysit my niece sometimes, she is really cute but all she wants to do it braid my hair.”

“Nice, that’s very nice” she replies like she just got her answer to one of her long life problems “so you want to have kids someday?”

“Sure” he responds with a shrug "maybe one or two”. 

“Or maybe more” she suggest and he nods, after all his parents had four kids. 

“Maybe” he says and she looks so happy like those are the best news she has heard all day. and he smiles back before realizing that the two minutes are up so he can say that he can go to the bathroom. 

Funny enough the first thing Alex says when he sees him is “i know we haven’t been alone in a while but i’m not making out with you in a bathroom”

In another circumstance, he would have joked back but this time he insists and reminds Alex that he is still one of his best friend, not just his boyfriend and he can tell him anything. 

Alex takes a second before telling him about what happened and it’s actually unexpected, he didn’t think that something like that would happen but he doesn’t say that, instead he tells Alex that he is sorry that happened and that he didn’t deserve that and he lets him talk about everything that happened, how he yelled at him and how he was pushed and how Schneider looked like this whole different person that he didn’t even knew. 

When Alex says that he doesn’t want to feel the way he did, that he felt unsafe, all Tyler can think is that he was afraid, he knows that he is not afraid of Schneider but afraid of losing him even if Alex himself doesn’t know it yet, in some ways he was there even if those two are completely different situations. 

A part of him doesn’t want to say it because it’s like picking on an old wound but he thinks that Alex needs to hear that so that he can understand what Tyler is going to say, that Schneider is going through a rough patch and he needs them because they are his family, the same way Jeremy needed them and that just like him and Jeremy, what Alex and Schneider have, they are going to get it back. 

And at the end when Alex leaves the bathroom smiling back at him, he knows that he has made the right choice. 

The problem happens when Jeremy doesn’t responds his messages for a couple of days, he is trying not to think about it, not to make it into a big deal, to convince himself that he is just busy.

Jeremy is just alive and busy. 

If there is a god, let him be alive and busy. 

Not even the most fucked up episode of black mirror distracts him, he tries to focus on the episodes, the reactions of Elena and Syd, and specially on Alex, he looks at him, he feeds him pop corn, eventually he even curls up closer to Alex and nuzzles into his shoulder until Alex settles his head on top of his but he keeps checking on his phone.

At least he doesn’t get distracted during rehearsal, he is actually doing pretty good and he is looking forward to the day, he thinks it’s going to be his best play so far and he actually likes the costume, he might even steal the suspenders.

Camila, Denisse and him decide to help Michelle and Cameron giving them a little nudge in the right direction by making them meet up after school, he thinks that they are going to do the rest of the work themselves. 

They wait for a while and decides to go to buy cold bottles of water for his friends and boyfriend, they probably are incredibly tired and thirsty after their detention. 

He is right, they all take the bottles from his hands and Alex basically swallows the whole thing at once and he turns out to be right again when Cameron leaves with Michelle. 

Eventually Camila leaves with Hugo and he stays with Alex on the bench waiting for the bus, he is relaxed for a few minutes when Alex lays his head on his lap, until he checks on his phone and sees that he still has no new messages.

It gets even better when Mr. Alvarez appears and offers to drive him home.

He offer to drive you home, what an ass. He can hear the imaginary jeremy say in his head. 

The drive home goes mostly well, there is of course Mr. Alvarez's little outburst in the middle of the road but it's okay because he apologized and if Alex is willing to give him another chance, he is willing to do the same and when he says that Alex is lucky to have Tyler and he thinks that Victor is the wrong and he is the one who is lucky to have Alex.

“I am lucky to have him” Alex confirms at the exact same time Tyler goes “i’m also lucky to have him”.

And when they say at the same time and the two of them look at other on the rear view mirror again and they share a private smile, he thinks that they are just lucky to have each other .

When they finally arrive to his house, he can tell that Mr. Alvarez is being condescending and that he doesn’t like his house or his garden but he is more than willing to pretend nothing is going on after all he is already a few steps away from the house. 

That’s when he sees Jill passing the hose to Sarah as she leans in to kiss Sarah and he turns to thank Alex’s dad to get out of the car but he stops himself because he gives him this look, this pitiful look like Tyler is a homeless orphan in the middle of the street. 

Big part of him wants to say “ugh, get a life” or tell him how good he actually has it but that usually never changes anything, Tyler is not unfamiliar to those stares he has dealt with them his whole life, homophobic strangers on the street when they saw him with Sarah and Jill, pitiful looks from the teachers who know what happened and from other kids in the class when they found out they have this sad stare like "fuck his life sucks".

And each time it happens he goes through the same process from hurt to annoyed to angry in a matter of seconds, he feels hurt because people looking at his family like that and hating them basing themselves in just one thing without even knowing them is horrible, he gets annoyed because those people are stupid and finally angry because these people don’t know him, they don’t know anything and he hates pity, he fucking hates it. 

He knows that he is clench his jaw but he forces a smile and puts his hands in his pockets so they can turn into fists there and act like everything is okay even if nothing is okay, for a few minutes it’s like his anger has frozen him until he sees Jill walking towards him and he doesn’t want her to talk to Victor because she deserves better than to be look down by the man she kind of defended a few weeks ago.

“Thank you for driving me home, Mr.Alvarez” he says quickly already getting out of the car “See you tomorrow Alex”.

He runs towards his sister and stops her wrapping her into a hug, she is confused by that for a second but she hugs back a second later before asking “Everything okay buddy?”

“Yeah, let’s go inside”.

That night he doesn’t call Alex even if he wants to, it’s not because he is mad at him but he is waiting for his cell phone to ring, for Jeremy to call him, he almost doesn’t sleep that night and the next morning he is so sleepy that he accidentally throws one of his contacts down the toilet so he has to wear his glasses. 

Yeah, this day is going to turn out to be great. 

Surprisingly the day goes actually okay, he would even describe it as great.

He plots Tom King’s murder with Cameron ealy in the morning, he gets to eat a bunch of different cakes that day and he can’t deny (although he won’t say it outloud) that when he sees Mr.Allen looking at Mr. Ludgate, he looks back at Alex and thinks that they could be like that someday, living together with their dog and their kids. 

After that they go upstairs to do their homework but all Tyler is thinking about is how there are still no new messages and he is right now looking for just any activity, repeating himself the same thing again and again that his brother is okay and that his brother is alive. 

He is actually glad when he has that interruption by Finn and Alex's little argument and when Alex looks at him to ask him “everything okay?”

But then Cameron asks loudly “Wait, who took my notebook? i swear it was right here" before realizing Finn took it and starting to chase him around the room like a crazy person and Tyler takes this as a sign not to say anything. 

The next day he asks Alex to come over mostly because he missed him, they haven't been able to hang out just the two of them ever since Alex got grounded and he missed being just the two of them also he doesn't want to spiral today, thinking of every single way Jeremy has probably hurted himself.

The worst part is that Jill makes him feel like he is going crazy, he doesn’t know how can she be so calm about everything when Jeremy hasn’t called during the whole week, he is also suspicious by how fast she leaves because what if something is going wrong and she is just not telling him, what if Jeremy- 

“Do you think we should order right now or wait because she said she’ll be-” Tyler starts to say because he needs to distract himself with something and he locks eyes with Alex who gives him a look that screams to just order the pizza “Alright, I’m ordering that pizza right now”

They lay on his bed watching old episodes of buzzfeed unsolved, he is about pick the next episode when Alex goes “i have missed your house, i swear it’s been so long since the last time i was here that i forgot your room was this exact shade of creamy yellow”. 

“You are so dramatic” he says laughingly as the video of la llorona starts.

He turns to look at Alex and realizes that instead of watching the video, he is looking at him, for a second he thinks that maybe he has something on his face so he asks “what?”

“Nothing” he says before cupping his face and starting to kiss him all over the face and he realizes that this is what Alex was actually missed. 

He has missed it too. 

So he closes the laptop before leaning into the kiss completely, buzzfeed unsolved can wait, he has more important thing in his mind, he touches Alex’s face and messes with his hair as he leans back into the pillows and lays down, when he opens his eyes and sees the way Alex is looking at him, he blushes automatically, feeling suddenly shy, no one has ever looked at him like that, like he is everything. 

They kiss again and Tyler just wants to pull him closer to him, that’s when he feels Alex’s fingertips right underneath his shirt shyly and hesitantly like he is testing it out, afraid that he is going to be pushed away, ironically that’s kind of what does it for Tyler to be okay with it because he knows that if he says “No”, Alex will pull away and they will continue to kiss like nothing happens but he wants him to do it. 

So he takes his hand and puts it and gently guides it underneath his shirt, feeling nervous but also glad that their eyes are close because he can tell that his face just turned like ten shades darker as he feels Alex’s hands wander around his ribs and stomach, he is surprised that he doesn’t feel self conscious about it for a few second but he is too focused on feeling Alex’s hand against his skin.

They break apart once they are finally out of air and Alex pulls his hands away before resting his chin on his head and looking up at him smiling like this is where he was always supposed to be and the single thought of that makes him happy enough to be giggly. 

"hi" he says laughingly “comfortable?”

"yep, very" Alex responds grinning before his happy expression shifts to a thoughtful one. 

“What are you thinking about?” Tyler asks running his fingers through his hair.

“Just how much I like being with you" Alex says like he is looking at some masterpiece and he wants to say that he is not, he is just him but then Alex says “Did you ever thought about this?”

"That you like being with me?” he almost answer that yeah, there were those weeks in which he wasn’t sure that Alex wanted him and it feels like his own insecurities make him think that he could never be wanted but instead he says “i don’t know i hope you do, I mean we have been friends for years and we have been dating for months now-"

“No” he protests laughingly “i mean did you thought about us like this before?”

“You mean before we started dating?" he asks, the truth would be that yeah, maybe he daydreamed about it but he never thought anything would come of it but now he is here holding hands with Alex as he runs his fingers through his hair “i don’t know, to be honest i just tried not to think about it because most of the time i would just get to the conclusion that it was never going to happen so what’s the point of even thinking about it, right?”

“Is that why you asked Chloe to ask me out?” he asks him almost making him jump because he had forgotten that even happened, it seemed like that was a lifetime ago. 

“Oh, i honestly had sort of forgotten about that,i wanted to go the bathroom and she was basically waiting in line, we started talking and i just told her that you were a nice guy and she’ll be missing out, it happened-”

“Before we kissed” he finishes his sentence, he is about to ask, how does he even know that but he sees Alex’s eyes in which he sees so much aching like he can’t believe he almost didn’t have this “Did a lot happened after i left?”

“I discovered vodka with orange juice and turns out i’m a happy drunk” he said with a shaky laugh feeling unable to add anything else as he remembers how terrified he was that Alex knew “god, i was terrified that you knew that i liked you”

“Did you ever thought about telling me?” Alex asks and Tyler wants to say yes, that he really thought about telling him but that would be a lie so he shakes his head and he sees Alex lift his head from his chest “Really? You never thought you could tell me?”

“I mean i guess i thought about telling you a couple of times but i never really thought that we would end up actually dating and i was afraid that if i told you i was going to not just ruin our friendship but that i was also going to make things weird for the whole group and at the end of the day all i wanted was to be your friend”

“Really?” he asks like being friends with Alex wouldn’t have been enough for him, when all he really wanted was just for him to be part of his life in any form and he is one of his best friends. 

“Why not? i love being your friend and i didn’t want to lose you besides i kind of accepted that you were never going to like me like that, i never thought that you would ever feel the same way i did and what i thought that was going to happen was that you were going to get a girlfriend at one point during high school, i was going to be miserable and privately sulk until i got over you, then get a boyfriend when i’m college or something and we could stay as friends for the rest of our lives” he says as Alex leans in head back on his chest and he can’t believe none of that even happened because Alex liked him back, he even says it out loud just to make sure it’s real life “but then you liked me back” 

Alex is quiet for a few seconds gazing at him before saying “i really fucking hate the idea of you dating some random college guy” 

“Alex, he is not real, he is imaginary, i was speaking of an hypothetical scenario-”

“Well, does he have a name in this hypothetical scenario?” he asks him looking like he is trying to put a face on this imaginary guy “i bet he is an asshole and has a douchey name like chad, brock, guy, todd or something like that”

“Who names their son guy?”

“people who want their kid to be terrible,” Alex says like it’s a fact that everyone knows and Tyler laughs loudly “anyway i’m really happy that he doesn’t exist”

“Me too” he says laughing but it’s more because he is happy than anything else. 

“Also you could never lose me” Alex said and Tyler needs a second to remember this moment forever “not now, not ever, not even back then you wouldn’t have been able to get rid of me that easily.”

He wants to tell Alex something equally meaningful but instead he says “I know, you are like a leech” 

In response Alex tries to give him a playful smack but he kisses his hand before it lands on his face and when he sees the way Alex melts, it’s oddly satisfying.

“Ugh, i can’t stand how adorable you are, it’s so annoying” he says but he is cupping his face and tracing it with his fingers making Tyler feel shivers down his spine.

“Oh you like it” he says feeling slightly smug but the feeling doesn’t last long.

“I do like you” Alex smiles in response and starts to leans incredibly close to his face, he wants to kiss him but he pulls back a little.

“Since i liked you for longer, i think i win, not that it’s a competition or anything” he says getting urge to kiss him.

“Well, I think i win because i-” He doesn’t let him finish that sentence, this time Alex dives his hands without hesitation but he can tells that his intentions are different as he starts to tickle him, he squeals and starts to properly laugh as they pull away.

He wants to push him away by telling him that he’ll kill him, break up with him and break his arms in that exact order but Alex is just looking at him with this gazey look on his face like he thinks this is amazing but all he can feel is pain on his ribs.

That’s when he gets an idea. 

“Wait,ow-” he said faking pained sound in between gasps for air “you are crushing me”.

Which works, Alex pulls away quickly and doesn’t realize what he has done until he sees him reaching for his pillow.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT” Alex shouts in surprise but Tyler is too busy smacking him with the pillow repeatedly and forcing him on his back, both of them can’t stop laughing even if they  
could easily fall off the bed until Alex takes the pillow away from him, tossing it across the room and then he is able lock his fingers around the wrists and holds them tightly but Tyler is still laughing but he really needs to stop because he is almost out of breath and he sees that Alex is looking actually a little upset. 

At the beginning he doesn’t get why because it’s obvious to him that Alex would never hurt him but when he sees that sad expression on his face, he apologizes immediately and it takes a little of coaxing but Alex forgives him and they are about to kiss again when Alex’s cell phone rings. 

And then he sees who is calling him. 

Tyler tries to give him the most reassuring smile but he needs to leave the room for a second because he remembers the way he looked at him and he is filled with anger but quickly reminds himself that this isn’t about him, it’s about Alex and if he wants to have a good relationship with his dad, he’ll support him. 

That’s all he is thinking about when he hears Alex repeat the word “Saturday?” like he is asking Tyler so he takes the paper, Tyler writes on a piece paper “Go” in big bold letters before he changes his mind.

And one more time when he says “But i think your dad is trying and this isn’t about me, this is about you and i know that you love him and that even if things are complicated with you two right now and as mad as you get and as many fights as you two have, you are always going to love your dad and you obviously want things to work between you two and you miss him when he is gone so you should hang out with him while he is here, right?”

“Right” He nods but frowns like something hasn’t finished sitting right with him “I’m not saying that i don’t want to give him second chance, hell, i want to give him a second chance more than anything believe me, you are right i do miss him and what we had but I just-i don’t feel safe with him, i used to and i miss it but i’m scared of feeling that way again, that things will get back to how they used be and then i’ll come out and he’ll leave again”.

Tyler wished that he could promise him that won’t happen, he would do anything so that would never happen to him but he can’t give him that, he can only hold his hand and be there for him. 

“Big part of me just wants to come out so that i can get this over with it like if he leaves, he leaves, I just can’t with the uncertainty anymore” he says bitterly. 

“You do what you need to do and i’ll be here for you, no matter what” he says out loud this time but makes sure to add that “but you don’t have to come out, if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, i know i read the buzzfeed articles “don’t come out when you are mad”, “don’t come out if it doesn’t feel safe”, “don’t come out until you know you are ready” but i don’t know if i’m ever not going to be mad or feel safe with him and and i think this is as ready as i'll ever be so i should just do it, right?” he asks him, Tyler doesn’t know how to answer that. 

“Or we can wait until we get married and send him the invitation and that can be your coming out” he suggests trying to make him laugh. 

“did you say when we get married?” Alex said with this gigantic smile and surprised laughter, Tyler starts shaking his head because he knows that Alex is not going to let him live this one down “don’t lie, i heard you say “when we get married” now tell me about our wedding”

“Our imaginary wedding?” he responds trying to backtrack.

“You don’t get to play cold, you just said that we were going to get married and slow dance to hotlilne bling-”

“Now i’m pretty sure that i didn’t say that!I can't tell you how much that song is not going to play at our wedding!”

“So you admit it, you thought about it!” he said pointing at him like he had made a huge discovery and he can splutter with laughter “You basically proposed, i’ll tell mami to get the gobbers ready, Abuelita is going to be so happy”

“Honestly you are bullying me” he says but there is not heat to his words “and I want to be mad but we are holding hands so it’s hard”

“Do you want to stop holding hands?” he asks him a little worried and one of these days, Alex is going to kill him.

“No, i want you to stop bullying me” Tyler responds a little frustrated and they both laugh.

“Dang” Alex laughed for a little bit longer before getting serious again “So do you think that i should come out?”

“I don’t know” he answers honestly because he is still not sure if that’s the right choice but if that’s what Alex wants, he’ll support him “if that’s what you want then yeah, you should”

“I think i’m going to” he said with a hollow laughter “i think i’m ready”

Alex is smiling at him but he can see bits of his expressions that let him know that he is terrified and that’s when he gets an idea, he’ll wait for him nearby at some restaurant, just in case he needs him, he’ll be there, he is surprised by how Alex’s main concerns are that a) he might get bored and b) what happens if he realizes that he is actually not ready to come out?; like first of all, he would never get bored, he is going to watch tv shows and read some books like that sounds like a cool afternoon and second he’ll wait forever just to make sure Alex feels safe. 

That’s why later when they are eating pizza and watching the episode of “Exorcism of Anneliese Michel” and he can see that Alex is jumpy, he throws his arm around him and tucks him closer to himself.

Eventually Alex has to go home and he kisses him goodbye and goodnight but he doesn’t go to sleep, instead he tries to call Jeremy but there are no answers so he stays up refreshing his messages until he dozes off. 

The next morning at school, he is becoming more and more sure that something wrong is going on with Jeremy and his whole mantra of him just being busy is starting to die down and all he can think about is the image of his brother passed out on the floor bleeding everywhere but this time no one is there to find him, no one is there to help him. 

The school ends and there are still no new messages and his brain is now screaming Jeremy is dead, Jeremy is gone and he is never going to see him again.

That’s why when they go to buy ice cream and he hears a voice very similar to Jeremy’s, saying something like “Hey, nice to see you too”, he swears that he is going crazy but then he turns around to see a very much alive and fine Jeremy smiling at him.

“Surprise!” Jeremy announces lamely and he doesn’t trust himself enough to speak right now, he just runs to him and hugs him as hard as he can to make sure that he is alive and well, he puts his head right next to his heart to be sure and he can feel Jeremy tense up for a moment and that’s when he realizes that he is crying even if he tries to keep quiet,Jeremy hugs him back resting his head on his like he is shielding him and he stays there for a while until he realizes that he is crying in the middle of a store and how that must look for other people. 

He pushes himself away but Jeremy keeps him close with a worried look before looking at him with this sad and concerned expression asking “are you okay?”

Tyler wants to answer that no, he is not okay, he thought he was dead but all he can think it’s how happy he is that he is not, that he is okay so what he does is wipe away his tears and smile “Yeah, you just really scared me- but i am really happy to see you”. 

“I’m really happy to see you too, buddy” he said patting his shoulder even if he still looks worried. 

Jeremy buys them ice cream and if his friends noticed that he cried, they don’t point it out to him which he is grateful for, Jill doesn’t mention it either and once they are inside of the car all piled up against each other and they drive comfortably and Jeremy tells them how Tyler’s first word was shit, the story of that one time they run over a bag a bread and how he used to read him scary stuff when he was a baby.

Eventually they drop Hugo, later Cameron and finally they get to Alex’s house, Tyler decides to walk him up to his apartment because Alex always walks him to his house and he is hoping that he won’t ask him about it but one of the first things he says is “are you okay?”

“Yeah” Tyler says hoping that Alex buys it “why wouldn’t i be?”

"Because you cried at the store” FUCK, Alex must notice he panicked look because he quickly adds “it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to”

“I didn’t think you noticed, well, i was hoping you didn’t” 

“I almost didn’t” he says like that it’s going to make Tyler feel better somehow.

“Oh, phew” Tyler said sarcastically as they got inside of the elevator, and he feels embarrassed that Alex saw him like that but only for a few seconds because he realizes that he can actually explain what happened and that Alex is the only person he can talk to about this “He hasn’t answered any of my messages since sunday, i thought something had happened to him, i was spiraling, i kept on thinking of the worst case scenarios, that he had a depression relapse, that he couldn’t get out of bed, that he wasn’t sleeping, i thought-”

He doesn’t finish that last sentence because that’s too much and he hasn’t even realized that he is out of the elevator until he sees Alex’s door. 

“I’m sorry, i didn’t knew” Alex says in this carefully soft tone. 

“It’s not your fault, how were you supposed to know? i didn’t say anything” Tyler says because he doesn’t want Alex to ever think that this could have been his fault, he squeezes his hand “it’s alright, i was just worried”.

“Have you talked to Jeremy about this?” Alex asks him concerned, Tyler has to bite the inside of his mouth feeling uncomfortable, not sure if he should tell Alex that part because he already knows what he is going to tell him “maybe you should, it could be good, sometimes talking about things lets you move past them, it could help, i understand that it might painful to talk about but-”

“He doesn’t know” he admitted getting ready to tell the whole story “well, he does but he thinks i don’t remember”

“What?”

So he starts telling the whole story, Alex is looking at him with this concerned worried look and he wished that he could make it stop, he wants to tell him that he is fine, that everything is fine, that he lied so that things could be easier if he hadn’t seen anything so-

“You acted like it” Alex finishes for him and Tyler sort of shrugs, not sure of what he is going to say but then he looks at him, he holds his hands before telling him “i get it, i understand exactly why you did it but pretending to be okay doesn’t mean you’re actually okay and you don’t need to deal with this alone”.

“Is this your way to tell me that i should go to therapy?” Tyler asks feeling stupid all suddenly, he is making it sound like it’s the worst thing that could happen to him when it’s not, he knows that a lot of people go to therapy and that it helps people but he doesn’t need it, it’s not even that bad. 

“I think everyone on earth could use therapy, my mami goes to therapy, she also takes medication and it has really helped her out” Alex answers so honestly and he is so surprised that he never knew that. 

“I didn’t know that, i mean i do know that therapy is good, i do, my sister is goddamn psychologist, i know that mental health is important and Jeremy goes to therapy, he takes medication and it's definitely good for him, i know but I’m not-it’s just that it’s not even that bad-”

“It’s not a competition” he says which does make him laugh but he feels like he is about to start crying any minute now “and i think that even if it’s just a little bad, therapy could really help or maybe just talking about it could help you out” Tyler nods feeling slightly loss imagining how Jill and Jason are going to look at him when they know he lied but he takes him out of his thoughts “i don’t want to be pushy,i just want you to be okay”.

“I know, I know you do-” he says and he is about to tell him that he is okay. 

“Because i lo-”

For a second he thought he was going to say “I love you” but then Elena walks in and he isn’t sure enough, he feels too overwhelmed and maybe he is not thinking straight and all he can think about is that he doesn’t need Alex to say it, in some ways he already knows that he loves him and he loves him back. 

He is about to say that but then Alex says “You should go before they start thinking that i took you away to have a full blown make out session here”

Tyler laughs even if that’s probably what they are thinking and it’s going to be an awkward ride home. 

“and you don’t have to worry about tomorrow-” Alex adds after a second.

“Crap! tomorrow i almost forgot, i’ll just tell Jeremy that we have reservations at some place or something” Tyler says already looking for an excuse to give Jeremy but Alex shakes his head.

“No, you are going to spent some quality time with your brother because you love him and you miss him when he is gone so you should hang out with him while he is here, right?” Alex tells him firmly and Tyler nods back, partly because he feels too tired and overwhelmed to argue with him about this and he is right, he has missed Jeremy and he does want to spent some time with him now that he is here. 

“Right” he says nodding to his words “i’m still going to have my phone with me at full volume even if we go to the movies just in case you need anything ”

“God, you are such a romantic” Alex laughs but he can still remember his worried expression for a few minutes ago.

“And i promise that i’m going to talk to them about it” he says, partly because he wants Alex to know that he’ll be okay but also because he needs to promise that to him so that he’ll actually do it “just not today or tomorrow but i promise i am okay?”

Alex nods completely trusting and that’s all he needs, he gives him a peck and a light kiss in the nose before he runs to the elevator and back to the car with his siblings. 

They go to pick up Jason and actually manage to scare him enough for him to yell at the three of them and then some more for renting a car just for this but his face is so funny, that they don’t even care, after that they go to pick up his new contacts and finally decide to also give Sarah a surprise at work but she doesn’t get scared, she just pulls Jeremy into a hug that almost manages to knock him over, they end the night with all of them going to a restaurant with Alyssa and Zoe. 

Zoe decides to braid Jeremy’s hair for a change and he looks at them remembering how he used to paint his nails with markers and he would just let him, then he remembers how he walked to him when he came back from the hospital. 

“You okay?” Jeremy asks him taking him away from his thoughts. 

“Yeah” he responds focusing on what pasta is he going to ask for. 

The next morning he wakes up early and goes to the living room just to make sure Jeremy is still there the next morning, he finally feels like he can breath again but it doesn’t last for long because they have to run to school for the play, in the middle of all the craziness he agrees to go to chuck e cheese to see if Shane Dawson is telling the true about his weird conspiracy theory.

Turns out that he was nervous over nothing because the play goes perfectly fine, with the exception of the fact that Mrs. Hopkins tried too hard with his hair to the point that moving it hurt and his scarecrow hat almost didn’t fit but everything besides that was fine. 

Also the worst part is trying to remove all the makeup from his face, he decides to just shower at home and change his clothes, he is about to leave when he sees Chloe struggling with taking it off her fake bun off her head so he says “hey, you need a hand?”

“Yeah, i guess, Mrs. Hopkins put it there but i don’t know how and i can’t get it off” she says and lets him get his hands on her hair and honestly Tyler has no idea how that happened “good show by the way”

“You also did a good job” 

“you are coming to the after party, right?”

“I can’t, i’m so sorry” he says about to explain why but he gets distracted trying to get the bun off then she says “If you want to bring Alex, you can-” 

“No, i can’t go because my brother is visiting” he says and she nods back, now they are stuck on this awkward silence, they had sort of managed to ignore the Alex topic with her because it’s not just that he liked her but the fact that she liked him back and they were flirting with each other for almost a year and there is a big chance that she might still like him and he doesn’t even want to think about it “but i promise i’ll go to the next one”. 

“Cool” she says and that’s when he finally thinks he has the way to get it off but quickly realizes that might have been a mistake when he actually gets it off her head, she lets out a muffled “OUCH” and he stares in horror at the fake bun with now actual hair in some parts of it. 

“Sorry” he says quickly, now noticing that there were more people that had walked into the room while he continues to apologize but she waved him off like it wasn’t a big deal, he is about to insists again when he notices that Alex is standing there with flowers looking bashful, it’s almost too cute and too good and for a couple of second he can’t process that this bouquet is actually for him until Alex smiles as he passes him the flowers and says “hi, here for you”.

“Hi” Tyler says staring at the them before carefully holding them, he is scared that he might mess them up “thank you, i love it”

Alex actually looks relieved like he was afraid Tyler was going to hate them, like this isn’t one the most romantic thing someone has ever done for him. Of course that’s when the whole room goes “aww” and ruin the moment. 

Cameron tells him that he is going on a date with Michelle so he is staying for a little bit longer, Tyler is so happy for him but tries not to make a big deal out of it, he’ll just wait for him to text him all the details later, Finn and Hugo, both leave, he thinks that Alex might go with them but he stays behind with him.

“i really do love the flowers” he says trying to get that moment back.

“I’m glad you like them” he says taking his hand “so what are you guys doing today?”

“We are going to chuck e cheese to see if Shane Dawson is telling the true about his weird conspiracy theory” 

“I thought you were done watching his videos” 

“Jeremy convinced me, he has been saying that he’ll stop one of these days too but he still hasn’t either, he is a bad influence on me” he said suddenly remembering what is going to happen today so he plants a kiss on his cheek trying to give him courage before saying “hey, good luck today”.

“Thanks” Alex says looking quite unsure but quickly adding “and you have fun today”

“I will” he said, noticing how his siblings were calling him, he was about to walk away but then Alex pulls him in for kiss and when he pulls away, he doesn’t want to let him go so he asks “we can give you a lift if you want?”

“Nah, it’s cool” he says before pulling him for another kiss “I’ll miss you”

It’s almost too cheesy but his heart aches when he realizes how much he is actually going to miss him even if it’s just one afternoon. 

That’s all he can think about as he walks away and gets inside of the car and waits for it to start, he turns to look back at him and sees him waving at him.

“He is not going to war” Jeremy tells him, clearly amused. 

“Oh, hush” he said nudging him because he already knows he is ridiculous, he doesn’t need to be told. 

They go to drop both Jill and Jason at their respective jobs before going back home because Tyler wants to take a shower and put his flowers on water before going to chuck e cheese, Jeremy waits for him outside, when they get inside of the car, Jeremy turns to smile at him before saying “So where i may taking you?”

“what?” he asks confused.  
“Correct me if i’m wrong but i think that you had plans with Alex and had to blow him off for me, right?” Jeremy starts, Tyler doesn’t know how to explain the whole situation and doesn’t even know how Jeremy knows that “Just tell me where to drive you and i’ll take you so you can meet him there”

“It’s a little complicated” he admits before sighing and explaining “he is coming out to his dad today and he is afraid that things might go wrong, i told him that i would wait for him nearby just in case, he needed anything”. 

“Alright” Jeremy nods like he is processing “did you agreed on a spot?”

Tyler nods but then shakes his head “no, come on, you are not here everyday, we should spent some time together, i-”

“What if we go to chuck e cheese for a pizza first and then we go to wherever it is that you want to go?” Jeremy offers and Tyler thinks that’s somewhat fair, they are still spending time together so off they go. 

When they get there, they order a pizza and Tyler takes a picture to send it to Alex but they are only able to eat two slices each, they are about to leave when a guy seems to recognize Jeremy, apparently an old classmate, a handsome old classmate and he can see a hint of interest on Jeremy’s eyes as he looks at him and the guy tells him that he looks good and gives him his phone number but he acts very aloof like this isn’t a big deal to him but as soon as the guy leaves, he looks back at Tyler like he is thrilled. 

“Did you heard that?” he said leaning forward before paying “Jack Michaels thinks i look good”

“Cool” he says nodding “who is he?”

“He used to be this super popular kid from my high school” he said looking at Jack as he moved around with his little brother.

“i thought you didn’t care about what popular kids thought about you” 

“I had to not care people knew thought i was weird and like not in a cool way or whatever” he said looking at the phone number like he is having a bad memory. 

“But now you are, you have a cool apartment, a cool job and cool friends” he says, Jeremy smiles at him tilting his head like a sad puppy “i think you are cool”. 

“You are cool too, kid” he smiled as he stood up “come on, let’s go”. 

They get inside of the car driving towards a different pizza restaurant but this time they just park and don’t go inside, they just park at front and Jeremy puts on some music and for a second Tyler looks at his phone, Alex just responded with laughing crying emoji. 

“How is it going?” Jeremy asks him and Tyler shrugs. 

“He just send emojis and that’s that” Tyler says putting his phone back on his pocket “but i think it’s going well”.

“Cool, i’m glad” Jeremy says more relaxed also looking at his phone “Wow, you send me a lot of messages”.

“I was worried” he says feeling slightly defensive “you hadn’t answer me since sunday, i thought something happened to you”

“It’s cool” he responded with a shrug like it wasn’t a big deal and he hadn’t scare the living shit out of Tyler for that whole week “you just exaggerated a little bit-”

“I wasn’t exaggerating-”

“You have always being a little dramatic-”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD” he says and jeremy laughs like he thinks it’s funny, like he thinks Tyler is kidding and that’s when the truth escapes him "I thought you were dead,i thought you were bleeding in the bathroom like-like-i remember about-that night-I-" 

Jeremy almost drops his own phone when he hears that, he looks back at him, his eyes are wild, like a caged animal, like Tyler just cornered him, it suddenly it feels like he lacks both the vocabulary and the air to continue because Jeremy's eyes start to water. 

“Jeremy-” he says trying to hold his hand but he retracts his hand trying to cover his face and just like that he’s crying really hard, he lets out this horrible deep gasping sob turning away for a second looking out of the window and wiping his face and Tyler feels like he is about to start crying as well “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to make you-”

“No, please, don’t apologize,this isn’t your fault” he said wiping his nose with a napkin and rubbing his eyes, trying to calm himself down before asking “why did you lie?”

The “i thought you’ll never lie to me” is implicit.

“I just wanted things to get back to normal” he admits feeling conflicted “i wanted things to be okay”.

“Just because you act like things are okay doesn’t mean they are” Jeremy says but his tone isn’t harsh and he is ruffling his hair affectionately with this sad look on his eyes, all he can think is that is the same thing Alex said. 

“I know, that’s why i’m talking now” he says now looking down at his hands, he also adds “i also promised Alex that i would”. 

“Alex knows?” he says, the “and i didn’t?” is implicit as well, Tyler just nods but still doesn’t look at him “well, remind me to thank him for making sure you are okay” it’s sweet but he can tell that Jeremy is shaken up by all of this in the tone of his voice “and i need you to know that i am okay, you don’t have to worry about me, i’m your older brother, i am the one who has to worry about you”. 

“I don’t want you to worry about me” Tyler says out loud finally looking at him, Jeremy gives him an affectionate look. 

“What if we agree to worry about each other just the normal amount?” he offers him a hand to shake but Tyler goes for a hug instead “i’ll take that as a yes”. 

He laughs for a second before realizing that this is not the end of this after all there is a conversation with Jason and Jill waiting for him that will be far more difficult but he does feel better after talking about this like a weight is off his shoulders. 

That’s his cell phone rings and he knows he is Alex and something is wrong before he even has the phone out of his pocket. 

"hi, how are you doing? I'm just calling to check that chuck e cheese’s pizza is not toxic and didn’t kill you-"

"are you okay? what happened?" Tyler asks pulling away from the hug.

"let's just say that i came out to my dad and it didn't go so well" his voice wavered like he was going to start crying, he felt an aching feeling on his chest, he wanted to run to him right away to comfort him but then he thinks of Jeremy and he just drop a bomb on him, he can’t just leave-

Jeremy taps his shoulder before pulling out an small notebook from his pocket and then he writes in big bold letters “GO!”, Tyler smiles feeling relieved mouthing a "thank you" before saying "oh Alex, I'm so sorry,do you want me to go to your house-" 

"I'm not there, i have just been walking around, I'm close to the spot where we agreed to meet, i don't know why i’m here" he tells him, he sounds so incredibly lost. 

"Don't move, I'll be there in a few minutes, maybe even seconds" Tyler says hanging up but he doesn’t move, for a second he looks at a still teary eyed Jeremy with a half eaten pizza and feels like a horrible brother. 

“Should i start the car?” Jeremy asks him confused as to why he is still there. 

“No, he is like a block away but-”

“Then why are you still doing here, go!” he says taking off his seatbelt almost throwing him out of the car. 

“I love you” he says before starting to run, he can hear a faint “me too” from the car. 

They see each other from the other side of the street and when he sees him running towards him, Alex looks shocked for a second before he also starts to run towards him as well, when they finally find each other in the middle, he pulls him into a crushing hug and he can feel Alex’s breath on his neck.

Alex has his arms around him, pulling him even closer as he starts to cry, he is shaking and shuddering, he kisses his cheek and shoulder but all he can think about is that he has never hated anyone more than Mr. Alvarez. 

Just as if on cue, the cell phone rings and he doesn’t need to be genius to know who that is.

He does the only thing he can do, he pulls away a little bit to be able to look at Alex’s face, he looks so sad that it almost kills him inside, new fresh tears rolling down his cheeks, his nose puffy and he wipes it away with his hands before kissing him all over the face trying to at least take him out of the moment,to take away his sadness even if he knows that he can’t, he kisses him until he knows that the cellphone is not longer ringing. 

Once he pulls away, he gently stroke his face “Do you want me to take you home? Or we can walk around if you want? We'll do whatever you-"

That’s when the cell phone rings again and Tyler has to hold himself back from the taking the phone and hanging up on Alex’s dad. 

It’s not like he has to do that anyway because Alex does it himself but he looks so tired that he wished he had done it for him.

“I want to go home” Alex says and he sounds like a little kid, the same way he sounded when his dad stood up Elena during her quinces dance.  
And he wished that he could just fix this but he knows he can’t, he wants to say the right thing and when he see Alex text his mom not to tell Elena about what happened so that he won't ruin his dad's special day and he doesn’t say anything,mostly because he doesn't get why Alex is trying to protect him but he doesn't say that, he holds his hand on the ride home and gets prepared for Alex to tell him to go home because he wants to be alone but lays next to him when he asks him to and as Alex closes his eyes, Tyler traces his fingers across his face and plays with his hair. 

He doesn’t know if this is enough, he just hopes it is.

"how did you get there?” Alex asks after opening his eyes. 

Tyler doesn’t want to admit how sure he was that things weren’t going to turn out well with his dad because he thinks that would be just throwing more salt to the wound “Oh, we didn’t want to eat that Chuck e cheese pizza after what we saw in the video so we went somewhere else and i remembered the pizza restaurant, i just wanted to be there just in case you needed anything”. 

Alex frowns slightly as he starts saying “were you waiting for long-"  
"you are worth the wait" he says immediately because the idea of not waiting for Alex makes almost no sense for him and he would have waited all night if he had asked him.  
Alex looks at him shocked and touched before pulling him by the collar of his jacket kissing him hard, their lips bump in a somewhat violent manner, he wasn’t expecting that reaction, it takes a second for him to close his eyes and melt into the kiss opening his mouth, he can feel the trace of his teeth against his mouth which was something that he never thought he would like but he does, they don't break apart until they need to breath, Alex quickly followed by pecking another kiss onto the softness of his lips, then another, and another.

“Please stay” Alex asks him and Tyler nods right away. 

“i’m not going anywhere” Tyler responds as he kisses him. 

“No, like stay tonight” he says and this time Tyler doesn’t kiss him again, his eyes must look so big that it must be comical, Alex pulls his hands away from his collar but he doesn’t get his hands away from his neck, he can tell how fast his heart is beating like this and he feels frozen into place until Alex goes “OH, no, no, i didn’t mean it like that, i just want you to sleep here”

“Oh” he says feeling the tension leave his body.

“But still you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to" 

“i’ll stay,” he says thinking about how he hasn’t even asked for permission but that doesn’t matter to him right now “i really want to stay”

Alex finally relaxes, he leans in and buries his head on his neck and Tyler can feel his warmth breath and all he does is rub his back until Alex kisses his nose, smiling down at him but he can tell that he is still sad and he thinks of something that might work to make him feel better. 

“Hey, do you want try something?” 

“Sure, as long as i don’t have stand up”

He holds him from the back and wraps his arms around him,he kisses the back of his head and cheek, he waits for Alex to tell him that he feels uncomfortable or that he doesn’t like it but he doesn’t say anything else and when he tries to pull away Alex stops him, they stay like that until he falls asleep. 

Tyler doesn't want to let go, it's the last thing he wants right now, he wants to stay with Alex holding him like this until next morning and hearing his little snores and wondering what he is dreaming about but he has to get up because knows that if Mrs. Alvarez finds him in bed with her son, she won't let him spent the night so he removes his arms carefully and quietly, before getting to the edge of the bed and putting his shoes before standing up.

He walks to the other side of the bed in which Alex is sleeping soundly, that's when he realizes that he fell asleep with his shoes on, he gets to the end of the bed and unties the shoelaces before taking off the sneakers and setting them aside and then he walks back to the other side of the room to undo the bed sheets and steetling them on top of Alex because he doesn't want him to wake up cold or uncomfortable even if it's summer, everyone loves a warm blanket no matter the season,he leans down and kisses his forehead to which Alex responds with a snore. 

Tyler stays looking at him sleep for a few seconds, trying to see if he is a sleep talker and he just hasn't noticed before but he just snores softly and soundly, he shouldn't find this as cute as he does.

He walks towards the desk so he can take Alex's phone and plug it to his charger because he knows Alex is going to want to check it as soon he wakes up and then he checks his own phone, he still has to text his siblings to tell them that he didn't die. He turns off the lights and goes to the kitchen, he is about to call Jill to ask her if he can spent the night but the home phone rings. 

Five seconds go by before he decides to answer, he is about to say "Hello, Alvarez residence" when someone on the other side of the line automatically goes "Alex?". 

It's Alex's dad.

He is not sure what he should answer, his first instinct is to hang up and walk away but he could hear how desperate he was in the tone of his voice and... He feels bad.

Not bad enough to wake up Alex but bad enough to tell the man that yeah, his son is okay. 

"Alex, please-" 

"Hello, Mr.Alvarez" Tyler says quickly before he starts talking because he doesn't want to hear something is just meant to be heard by Alex's ears alone, he is not sure what he is expecting, the guy probably won't recognize his voice-

"Tyler, right?" he asks, his tone is unreadable and he hates that more than anything, he wished he would just yell at him, it would make things easier because then at least he'll know what's going on. 

"Right" is all he responds, then the older men lets out a sigh.

"Can i talk to Alex?" 

"He is sleeping and I'm not going to wake him up" he responds hoping not to sound to harsh because he is not trying to hurt him but he is also not going to wake up Alex to have a conversation that he doesn't want to have right now "maybe you should call tomorrow, it's been a long day and-" 

"If he is sleeping then shouldn't you be on your way home already" unlike Tyler, Mr. Alvarez IS trying to sound harsh and Tyler is not here for it but he is also not going to tell him that he was planning on staying the night. 

"Yeah but I'm on the phone with you instead" he says and regrets it as soon as he says it, what a shitty move. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you must think that I am an asshole" he says sounding deflated and tired but Tyler won't correct him because he does think he is an asshole "and you seem to be a good kid and i know that you care about him".

"I do" he admits almost absenmiently.

"I know you do but i know him and i think he is just-"

"I know him too" he interrupts him, not even letting him finish the rest of that sentence because he has heard it too many times in his own head again and again that Alex doesn't really want him, that he is just confused, that he'll change his mind tomorrow, that even if he didn't, he is still JUST not good enough for him and he has heard it all, he has said to himself but he won’t hear it from him and he won’t hear this right now "like i said you should call tomorrow and talk to him, goodnight, sir".

He hangs up. 

Fucking Asshole.

Fucking Dick.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He shouldn't be mad, this shouldn't even matter to him, he should roll his eyes and move on but why is he so mad. 

His brain doesn't waste the chance to tell him "because you know he is telling the truth". 

That’s when the door opens and he almost jumps in surprise when Alex's mom and Schneider walk in. 

"What happened?" she asks concerned looking for Alex with her eyes.

"i don't know exactly, he just said that it didn't go well" he admits wincing remembering how Alex was shaking when he cried. 

"Por el amor de Dios, i thought we were over this" she exclaimed looking stressed out, Tyler wanted to calm her down but he didn't knew how "how is he?" 

"he was pretty shaken up but he is sleeping now" He says saving her the details about how hard Alex cried and the phone call that had just happened. 

“Thank you so much, Tyler” she says looking more relaxed “do you have money to get back home?”

“I can pay you an UBER” Schneider offers already taking out his cellphone.

“No, that’s okay” he tells him looking at Mrs. Alvarez as he carefully “Do you think that i can stay the night?”

She looks like she thinks he is joking and she is about to laugh but that stops when he says “please, i told him that i would”.

In a way he is still expecting her to say no but instead she softens and asks him “have you asked your sister?”.

That’s when he finally calls Jill but the arrangements are made between her and Penelope, he borrows Alex’s sweatpants and one of his old shirts, he was originally supposed to sleep on the couch but Schneider falls asleep there so she gives him a sleeping bag and it’s still very early, he is not even sleepy but he pretends to be so that he doesn't have to see Elena when she gets home because he won't know how to answer his questions. 

Before he goes to Alex's room, Mrs. Alvarez tells him that the door will stay open and Lydia will come to visit them during the night to make sure he is still on the floor, that he is not allowed to get in bed with Alex even if he says it's just to cuddle and kiss because kissing is how it starts and Elena was created with just cuddles and suddenly Tyler thinks that he is not going to be able to say the word cuddle ever again. 

He closes his eyes, he is a little uncomfortable and cold but when he hears Alex's snoring, he feels safe and that's the last sound he hears before falling asleep, hoping to wake up the next morning to Alex’s smile. 

But he wakes up to Alex stepping on his arm at 3 a.m. instead. 

“What the fuck?” he said opening his eyes, not realizing where he was for a few seconds until he saw Alex's face. .

“Hi” he said, he sounded touched like he couldn't believe that Tyler actually stayed and Tyler can't believe that he is surprised that he stayed. 

“Hey, what time is it?”

“Three a.m.” he responds still in this soft tone of voice and in another circumstances Tyler would have found it cute but right now all he can think about is that he up at 3 a.m. for no reason. 

“I know you are an early bird but this is some next level bullshit” he whispered and Alex laughs making him feel slightly better as he lays back. 

“Sorry, it was an accident, you look really cute” he says and Tyler hates how good he looks right now like he just woke up, he should look bad but even his bed hair is cute. 

“I love you but it’s too early for this” he says still feeling half asleep, not realizing what words just came out of his mouth. 

He has started to process what he just said when suddenly Alex is kisses him and keeps a hold of his shoulders to pull him closer, the angle is a little off and he worries about his own breath for a couple of seconds until they both laugh in between kisses until they pull back.

“go back to bed, i told your mom that there would be no funny business”. he says remembering what Mrs.Alvarez told him about Lydia appearing to check on them.

“I’m just kissing you” he said still trying to steal another kiss which was tempting but he still thought about the last thing he heard about kisses.

“That’s how it starts” he says hoping that will ruin the mood and it does for a second because Alex slightly cringes but then he looks back at his bed and then back at him. 

And it looks like he wants to stay with him instead which is sweet but-

“Come on just lay next to me, we’ll just spoon” he says in a tone that makes it look very tempting but if Mrs. Alvarez finds him there, she won’t be happy.

“Your mami said that spooning is how your sister was born” he said hoping that would ruin the mood for good and when Alex covers his ears, he knows it was a mission accomplished “now that the mood is dead, go to your bed and sleep”.

“I’m going to put on my pajamas and then i’ll get into bed” he stood up and went to look on one of his drawers before walking out of the room.  
Tyler lays back again looking at the unfamiliar ceiling with a warmth feeling on his chest for a few seconds before closing his eyes trying to drift back to sleep but stays back up in case Alex wants to talk about what happened with his dad. 

“Tyler, you still awake?” Alex asks him a few seconds later turning up the light. 

“Yep, you okay?” he asks getting ready to sit down. 

“Yeah, here take this pillow” he offers and Tyler smiles and takes it and puts it on the floor, getting ready to fall asleep again. 

“Tyler” he says like he just thought about something funny and he is excited about it. 

“Oh my god, what?”

“Guess what?” he said playfully.

“i told you i’m not going to get into bed with you, i’m scared of your mami-”

“I love you” he says and for a second everything stops except for his heart that is beating so fast that he swears is going to get out of his chest and tears starts getting out of his eyes and he is trying to find the right thing to say and he should kiss him, he really wants to but he doesn't want Alex to realize he is crying “i really want to kiss now you but-”

“You are scared of my mami, i know, i know” he says before laying down on his bed and offering his hand "we can still hold hands, right?”

Tyler almost laughs because it's too cheesy and so sappy but he surprises himself with how much he wants to fall asleep holding his hand. 

“Our arms are going to hurt tomorrow” He says he says and when he squeezes his hand, he doesn’t feel like he is sinking, he is not falling without direction or the promise of a place to land, right now it feels like he is flying.“Goodnight Alex”

“Goodnight Tyler”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also i finally made a playlist of the CD Alex gives Tyler in chapter 4, i know, i know it's late but better late than never, right?
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3bU7icNLDnfVNzYNRRnBTr
> 
> Also don't worry if you didn't like this chapter, we are going back to our usual format next chapter 👍 thank you so much for the comments and the support


	9. Family Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i took so long on updating work and life got in the way, my computer died and this episode had to be written on a library computer and on my phone, i really hope you like it.
> 
> Have a nice day, guys, gals and nonbinary pals.

Alex wakes up with an aching feeling in his left arm, his eyes start to flutter open, he looks up at the ceiling and turns to the side to look for his phone but stops when he sees Tyler sleeping on the floor,he automatically feels genuine warmth and affection in a way that he hasn’t completely experienced before, he doesn’t know if it is because they said “i love you” last night or because it is the first time they have fallen asleep next to each other since they got together. 

Maybe it’s a mixture of both, he is not sure.

He takes a long look at him, his hair is sticking out in all sorts of different directions covering his forehead and part of his eyes, Alex can’t help the urge he has to comb his fingers through it, so he does, carefully twiddling the longer strands before tucking it behind his ear trying to move it aside to get a better look at his face,his eyes are closed and that makes his eyelashes look even longer than usual, he carefully traces Tyler’s freckles with the tip of his fingers like he is trying to play connect the dots, his mouth puckered against the pillow and he is curled up, the only part of him that is out of the sleeping bag is one of his arms, he wonders at what point during the night he let go of his hand. 

Alex never got those scenes in the movies when someone is staring at their love interest sleep, he always thought that they were creepy but right now looking at Tyler, he somehow manages to even find it romantic and he really wishes that he could stop time just so that he could stay in this exact moment,he knows that it's unrealistic (and kind of dumb) but it’s what he feels right now.

He wants to stay right here and forget about most of yesterday. 

He wants to forget about everything but Tyler saying “i love you” last night.

But he can’t, not really because the main reason why Tyler was here last night was because-

“If you still like girls then why would you want to make your life more difficult by dating a guy?” 

Alex tries to shake off the thought because that sentence makes his blood boil, it makes him angry and he just want to forget about his dad at least for today, he’ll rather think about literally anything else than-

Soy dulce como el melao'  
Alegre como el tambor  
Llevo el ritmico tumbao'  
Llevo el ritmico tumbao'  
Que hare que en el corazon

When he hears that song he knows that his abuelita is already up and making breakfast but Tyler doesn’t know that, he wakes up groaning and looking disoriented,blinking repeatedly and rubbing his eyes like he is trying to remember where he is.

"Good morning" Alex says laughingly finding his confusion somewhat amusing. 

“Good morning” Tyler yawns, eyes still closed, his arm suddenly up like he was searching for his hand “How is your arm?”

“it’s fine” he said squeezing hand, noticing his tired expression “did you sleep well? i’m just asking because you still look a little tired and you slept on the floor-”

“Yeah, i did, i had pretty good night and i’m having a pretty good morning too” he says softly, Alex grins immediately teeth feeling sharp “since i woke up next to the most beautiful person i have ever meet and all of that”.

Alex’s grin only stretches wider when he hears that “Oh so you think i’m beautiful?”

“Only because i love you” he tells him with a happy smile “you dummy”.

Alex is about to say it back when Tyler yawns again and lets go of his hand, he is expecting him to go back to sleep but instead his eyes flutter open again and he asks “what were you thinking about?”

“Nothing” he says because he doesn’t want to tell Tyler that he was just thinking about his dad “i was just looking at you”.

Tyler suddenly turns red as if that has catched him off guard and he realizes that he looks self conscious but then he sits up as if to get a better look at him, and rests his elbows in the mattress and Alex swears that his eyes get even rounder than they usually do and he just stays there staring at him before he starts rubs his nose against his own.

“So you were looking at me while slept that’s so cute in like a kind of creepy way”

“It’s not creepy at all, most people would think it’s romantic, you-”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, because Tyler connects his lips to his and his head gets nice and blank for a while. 

The kiss feels so new and different but it still feels familiar, soft and tentative like the first time they kissed with the difference that now their movements are fluid and easy,it feels like he can hear “Solamente una vez” by Javier Solis playing in his head but he’ll be willing to bet that Tyler’s head is probably playing “Wouldn't It Be Nice” by the beach boys. 

This is the kind of kiss that couples share on their bed during mornings without getting up to brush their teeth first and he realizes that they kind of are, aren’t they? 

After they pull away, he stays with his forehead pressed to Tyler’s when he gets an idea “You know mom said that you couldn’t sleep with me last night but she said nothing about this morning, i know that we should be getting up but-”.

Tyler throws a pillow at him, he assumes that means “no” but then he tells him “scoot over and don’t hog the covers”. 

“You know i don’t” he said moving a side to to give him space as he basically jumps next to him and settles his head on the pillow closing his eyes, he yawns and curls up and tucks himself deeper into the covers, usually he doesn’t like to share his bed because it’s not that big, there is not a lot of space, especially with Tyler’s long limbs even if last night they fit perfectly, he remembers falling asleep peacefully and feeling safe. 

He leans down to chastely kisses Tyler’s forehead, he lets his lips linger there for a moment,expecting him to lean in to kiss him but instead he hides underneath the blankets. 

“What are you doing?” he asks him laughingly. 

“I can’t sleep if you are staring at me” he replies, Alex can’t see him but he is willing to bet his left arm that Tyler is flustered. 

“I’ll stop then” he says shifting away, turning his back on him but as soon as he does, Tyler hugs him from behind and starts pressing his face between his shoulder blades making him laugh “i thought you wanted to sleep-”

“I’m trying to find the right position to fall asleep” he said with a mischievous tone, Alex turns to look at Tyler who has just pop his nose over his shoulder, he turn to look at him and he sees his smiley tired eyes closing the gap and bringing their mouths together,eyes sliding closed as he moves his lips against his own to lengthen the kiss. 

“Have you find it?” he asks him playfully when he pulls back, Tyler kisses his nose, Alex turns back so that he can kiss him more comfortably, they hold each other’s hands between themselves and fingers intertwined as they pull away but then Tyler stretches his arms in a sluggish manner like he doesn’t want to get up.

Alex hates himself for how much he doesn’t want Tyler to get up either. 

Because if he gets up then he’ll leave and he doesn’t want him to.

And that makes him feel guilty because Tyler shouldn't even be here in the first place, it's not fair that he is here when he should be in his house with his brother who is visiting. 

He shouldn't be here just because Alex is a bad boyfriend who couldn’t deal with an argument with his dad on his own. 

“We should be getting up” he says starting to sit down. 

But instead of doing the Tyler throws his arms around him and he falls right back into the bed, they giggle for a little bit before rearranging their positions and now Tyler is spooning him like he did yesterday. 

“As your boyfriend i’m legally obligated to keep on holding you for a little longer so i'm sorry to inform you that you have to stay like this” Tylers says, making getting up one hundred times more difficult than it already is, he puts his arms around him and it feels like his knees are buckling. 

Part of him just hates how fucking clingy he sounds and how fucking clingy he has become, maybe Elena is right, maybe he is clingy and desperate, for a few self conscious moments he feels so fucking pathetic until Tyler starts snuggling closer to him and rubbing his thumb along his hand, Alex intertwines their fingers and squeezes his hand, they stay like that wrapped around each other comfortable without moving, it feels like all he can breath is Tyler’s warmth and he can’t focus on anything else.

That’s when they hear a phone ringing, he knows it’s not his because it’s still turned off on his desk so it must be Tyler’s, he takes his phone from the night table and answers it, this time he doesn’t sound sleepy when he says “Good morning”

“yeah, i slept well” he said smiling at Alex,he is not sure what the other person answers but it made him snort before saying “yeah, i slept on the floor”.

Alex smiles back at him when he hears that and he squeezes his hand.

“oh, cool, alright, see you soon” Tyler says before ending the phone call, then he turns to him and says “Jill says hi”.

“Remind me thanking her for being the coolest sister ever and letting you sleepover” he says before he remembers that he should probably thank Jeremy as well but instead he asks “what else did she said?”

“Jason is taking us out for breakfast and then to the beach so they are coming to pick me up soon” Tyler said rubbing his eyes and covering his face with his hand, Alex is considering to tickle him when Tyler jerks up and asks “You’ll be okay, right?”.

Alex nods right away even if he doesn't actually know if he’ll be okay, he thinks it's convincing but Tyler has this seriously worried expression and he just wants to tell him that he is fine and he has nothing to worry about but he doesn't know if it will sound believable so he tries to lean in for another kiss but Tyler pulls back, trying to get a good look at his face.

“I’m okay” he insists staring directly into his eyes, Tyler doesn’t respond with words, instead he holds his face carefully and kisses his cheeks, forehead and temple, they stay in silence for a few more seconds,then he gives him another look before asking “Do you think i can use the shower?” 

“Yes, of course” he said, jokingly sniffing him and adding “and you definitely should, you smell terrible”. 

“Fuck off” Tyler said punching him with one of the pillows and letting out a cackle. 

He does give him a kiss after that. 

Eventually they do get out of bed and he holds his hand until they get to the bathroom, he makes sure that Tyler has everything he needs like towels, shampoo and soap before leaving him, right before he goes he hears him say “I’ll see you in a bit” before closing the door.

When he gets to the kitchen, his abuelita gives him a cup of café con leche and there is already a plate with tostadas, when he looks up, he sees her smiling in a comforting manner and he knows that she knows about yesterday and that she wants to ask him what happened but they both hear Elena’s footsteps so instead she asks him “what does Tyler want for breakfast?” 

“Oh, he is going to eat with his family-”

“You won’t believe who i met last night” Elena said as she sat down next to him, sounding so mind blowingly excited as she shoves her phone into his face, a the beginning he doesn’t get it but then he almost spits the cafe con leche when he realizes what he is seeing.

“Is that Brie Larson?” he almost yells, putting his cup down, she laughs and nods like crazy 

“HOW?”

“Marvel publicity stunt” she says with this giant smile “she gave me popcorn”.

“SHE GAVE YOU POPCORN?” he exclaimed still shocked. 

“YES!I was going to show them to you last night but you were already asleep” she yelled back before saying “I can’t believe mom let you and your boyfriend have an sleepover, it’s so unfair, i have been dating Syd for a year and i still haven’t been able to convince mom to let them spent the night”.

“You don’t get to complain about that” he said still focused on the pictures “actually you don’t get to complain about anything ever again because you meet Brie FUCKING larson”. 

“I KNOW!” she said sounding so happy “we look great on this picture together! she had her arm around syd and me! we are never showering again!”

“Please tell me you at least got me an autograph”

“Yeah, i did actually” Alex almost hugs her immediately but she starts to stand up “let me go get it!” 

Elena stands up and walks away, then his abuelita starts calling his mami to come to eat breakfast but she doesn’t come so she stands up to go get her, he starts eating his toast when he hears someone knock on the door and groans, dropping his toast, it’s probably one of Tyler’s siblings coming to pick him up, he knew that they should have gotten up bed before, he secretly hope it’s Jill or Jason because they have been at his house before and he won’t have to do awkward small talk like he would with Jeremy, he knows it’s a shitty move to think that, specially because he was the one who most likely ruined Jeremy’s afternoon yesterday but he doubts that he is looking forward to seeing him.

“Sorry, we woke up late, he is showering and i-” Alex starts to say as he opens the door but he stops mid-sentence when he sees that it’s not Jill, Jason or Jeremy. 

It’s his papi.

“Alex-” his dad starts but he doesn’t continue when Alex tries to shut the door on his face, they both stops themselves as soon as they look at each other’s eyes, his papi looks completely wrecked like he might have also cried last night and suddenly he can’t bring himself to close the door, besides that will not resolve anything, he will still be there but he can’t let him in either because he doesn’t know what he is going to say and Elena might hear, also Tyler is inside. 

But his papi looks actually regretful and he starts to think that maybe this isn’t a conversation that he doesn’t want to have, maybe his dad is going to apologize so that they can drop this,Elena never has to find out about this and his papi can walk away with a clean conscience, believing this was a minor discussion. 

Half a second has passed by before Alex has made a decision and he decides to come outside instead, he basically walks his dad to the staircase so that his family won’t hear them. 

“We can talk now” he announced as soon as he closed the door, his dad had a frustrated look like he couldn’t believe Alex hadn’t let him in which annoyed him, did he want the rest of the family to hear this conversation? Did he wanted Elena who just started to warm up to him again to know about yesterday? Why couldn’t he just see that Alex was giving him an easy way out? 

He feels himself soften when he sees how visibly deflated his dad looks when he sighs tiredly before saying “I’m sorry-”.

Alex lets out his own sigh of relief, feeling almost grateful because really that was all he wanted to hear-well, not really but he’ll take what he can get because he is not even expecting a decent apology, he thinks that his dad is unable to give him “it’s okay, well-it’s not, not really but we can work through it and who knows? maybe someday i can invite you to actually meet Tyler, i know you meet him before but for real this time, maybe today, well not today because they are coming to pick him up soon-”

“What do you mean he is here!?!” his papi interrupted looking extremely bewildered, he nodded even if he felt automatically defensive when he sees his father start to laugh humorlessly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks automatically. 

“You let him spend the night?” his dad says as if Alex was stupid and was completely missing something “why would you do that?”

“Why would i do that?” He says back angrily hoping to make his dad to explain himself or to take back whatever he is about to say “He stayed last night because he was worried about me after you and I fought-” . 

“So this is about me?” he says nodding sympathetically like he knows exactly what Alex is talking about but Alex can only feel more confused by the second as his dad puts his hands on his shoulders with this worried look on his face “Did this happen because i haven’t been around enough? is this you trying to get attention or maybe you feel like this is your way to get back at me-”

“What are you talking about?” he asks instead, pissed because he is starting to understand where he was going “are you implying that i’m with Tyler to piss you off? Is that what you are saying?”

He doesn’t respond verbally but Alex knows he thinks that before he even starts nodding,because of the way he is looking at him with this pitiful troubled look like he seriously think he has failed as a parent, he seriously thinks that Alex would get a boyfriend as teenager rebellious phase just to piss him off.

His father doesn’t know him at all.

“Have you completely forgotten about what i said last night?” He said, some neighbor walking down the hall gave him some judging look for talking to his dad like that, he wants to yell that he doesn't know what the fuck is going on so he should just keep walking. 

“I know what you said last night but we both know you are not like that” he said, his tone full of concern, Alex wanted to push him away more than anything, he wanted to shut him up and doesn’t know how “You can't just flip sides like that after being girl crazy for so long,I know how hormonal teenage boys can be,you are way too young and you are just confused and going through a phase-”. 

“I’m not-“ he repeats but his dad continues and Alex feels like he is speaking to a wall. 

“And i think that boy took advantage of that” now it’s Alex’s turn to laugh humorlessly, this is just so stupid, so fucking dumb but his dad only looks more worried when he sees him doing that “Now tell me what happened last night?” 

All he wanted to do was scream at the top of his lungs that his dad doesn’t know how things were, that he doesn’t know him and anything about how this relationship happened so he should just shut the fuck up. 

“You know what? After all that you have said, you don’t even deserve to know what happened last night, actually you don’t even deserve for me to be talking to you right now” he spits with gritted teeth, glaring up at him with anger, finally getting out of the hold his father had on his shoulders as he gave an step back “but i’m going to tell you about it, actually i’m going to tell you everything because i want to make one thing clear: you don’t even know him, actually you don’t even know me”.

“Alex-” his dad tried to talk but he shake his head. 

“No, it’s my turn to talk,I don’t know what fucked up version of events you have going on inside of your head and don’t even try to tell me because i don’t want to know” he said trying to sound calm and collected even if he felt like he could have burst into angry tears at any moment “because chances are that nothing happened the way you think it happened, for your information i was the one who asked Tyler to kiss me first, i asked him to be my boyfriend and i asked him to stay last night, i’m not some hapless idiot who can’t make his own decisions okay?”

“I know you are not-”

“No, you don’t know, otherwise you wouldn’t be making all of these assumptions and since you want to know so badly about last night all you need to know is that Tyler stayed to comfort me because YOU made me cry”.

His papi actually winces at that and Alex feels bad for a second before he hears some creaks meaning that there was someone who wanted to come up but was just standing there to keep themselves away from their argument,he tries to relax himself, giving space for the person to walk past them.

“Come on in!” his father insisted hard-heartedly when the person didn’t walk up stairs and he feels like he was about to get a headache.

And then Alex KNOWS that he is going to have a headache when he sees Jeremy walking up the stairs, with Jill holding him by the arm as if trying to hold him back. 

Jeremy is covered with sunblock and his hair is up on a bun, wearing a black long sleeved shirt with a cartoon suns all around it and black shorts that look too big on him, he looks like a vampire ready to go on a vacation (if he was being honest he feels somewhat cheated because for some reason he always imagined that Jeremy would be the type of person to wear black skinny jeans to the beach) and Jill was wearing a long red shirt that said useless lesbian club, jean shorts and mario bros sandals, she looks extremely short standing next to Jeremy but she is holding onto him like a mother trying to hold back her child from jumping.

Alex would find it actually funny if he wasn't so angry and so sure that they had heard everything his dad had just said,and he knows they did because Jeremy is scowling, his jaw clenched and his hands turning into fists; Jill’s face is flushed and she is clearly upset, her dark eyes flickered in anger and rage but she was trying to keep a neutral expression as she exchanges places with Jeremy,walking in front of him. 

Jill stands next to his dad in the staircase and stands next to him, it's weird to see them standing next to each other because he never thought that they would meet and if they did, he expected it to be at least in a better situation but his papi is blissfully unaware of who she is, he probably thinks that they are just a couple of neighbors that are judging him so he scoffs in a way that’s almost condescending, Alex looks at them wanting to apologize for him but then Jill offers to shake his hand, introducing herself nonanchaly and almost friendly but she said the exactly opposite of that “Good morning, i’m Jill and this Jeremy, we are the older siblings of the boy that you think is manipulating your son and all of that”.

Alex wasn’t expecting that reaction and he could tell that neither had his dad, he was visibly taken back like he didn’t know what to respond and he was clearly tense but Jill looked calm and her hand was still there, he wasn’t sure of what is going to happen but it was better than what he thought was going to happen, he had honestly thought that fight was about to break out, technically he couldn’t knock that possibility yet because Jeremy is still throwing daggers at his dad with his eyes but when they lock eyes, he swears that he looks younger than usual, he had always thought that Jeremy looked intimidating partly because of his height,he was the tallest out of all his siblings even if he wasn’t the oldest and he IS taller than his dad, but seeing him in the back standing behind Jill looking restrained like he wanted to say something else but was keeping it in and letting her talk while still holding her other hand and standing behind her, he looks younger than he actually is.

“I’m-” he said sounding completely uncomfortable after he hesitated for a long and angry moment, he shook her hand as his voice trailed off “listen, i’m sure you- what i was trying to say-”

“Yeah,you don’t seem to know what you are saying you are probably just confused” she said, not even letting him finish his sentence and Alex couldn’t help to felt silently grateful towards her, they were still staring at each other as his dad glared at her steadily but she didn't seem to be affected by this, she just continued “maybe you should come back tomorrow with a clear head”.

“Wow i can totally see where your little brother gets his manners from” his dad said as he snatched his hand away, he could see her eyes harden when he said that. 

Alex immediately thought What the hell does that even mean? but the person who actually said those words was Jeremy.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he gritted his teeth but Jill didn’t even try to correct him, she looked completely unbothered in the surface but Alex could tell that she was mad because in what he could only call “Tyler-ish” move, she clenched and unclenched her jaw.

Alex wasn’t sure of what was going to happen then, his dad looked like he wanted to argue more but he actually gave a step back, not before giving him a look that was letting him know that they would talk about this later.

When he finally was out of sight, Jill turned to look at him and in an attempt at cheerfulness, she jokingly said “Oh, where are my manners? Good morning Alex, how are you?”.

He let out a laugh somewhat relieved as she pulled him into a hug but he could see behind her back, Jeremy was still standing there like he was considering going downstairs to look for his papi but then he looked back at him and he walked up the stairs without saying anything else, he only gave him a lame wave. 

“Thank you for letting Tyler sleepover last night” Alex said as earnestly as possible, Jill smiled back at him and when he looked at Jeremy, he still looked bothered “and i’m sorry for that thing that happened with my dad”.

“It’s okay” they both said simultaneously. 

“Tyler is showering,do you guys want to come in while you wait?” he said as they come closer to the door, they nod but then he remembers something and stops with dread and whispers feeling angry at himself because he can’t believe he is still going to doing this to protect his dad “Can you not mention anything about yesterday in front of my sister? she doesn’t know and i don’t want to make this into a thing”.

Jeremy doesn’t respond verbally, he just nods with an almost blank expression but Jill has this look on her face that said “i don’t know that much” which relaxed Alex as he opened the door for them to walk in. 

Jill walks in first and his mami stands up from the table to hug her immediately and greeting Jeremy who smiled back at her while saying “good morning” and “Nice to see you”; then he said “hi” to his abuelita who pulls him in for a hug,the same way she does with Tyler, the only difference is that Jeremy freezes for a second before hugging her back. 

He ends up settling next to Elena, they are just starting to talk when Tyler walks out of the bathroom and Jeremy turns around so fast, Alex swears he is going to break his neck, they smile at each other and Jill takes the backpack from Jeremy’s hand to get it to Tyler so that he can change clothes and Elena stands up because apparently she has been holding to use the bathroom, his abuelita offers Jeremy coffee but he turns it down by saying “thank you so much, but i can’t because of my meds”.

“Tea then?” she offers and Jeremy nods, thanking her again before she walks away.

“Weird, Tyler doesn’t really like tea” he mentions casually trying to make conversation, he doesn’t know why he said that, just because they are siblings doesn’t mean that they have to like the same stuff but when he looks at Jeremy’s face, he can tell by his expression he is making that he doesn’t like tea either. 

“I can just tell her that-” he offered starting to stand up.

“No, it’s fine-actually i was looking forward to talking to you” he said as he gestures for him to sit down next to him, he wants to ask “why?” or “about what?” but when Jeremy tilts his head, he swears that in that exact moment he looks so much like Tyler, that he trusts him enough to sit down again but he dreads what he is going to tell him, what if he-

“I wanted to say thank you for taking care of my baby brother” Jeremy says before he can think anything else and Alex is not sure what is he even thanking him for until he realizes what he is talking about and he is shocked even if he shouldn’t be because Tyler did promised him that he would talk about it but he didn’t think that he would do it so soon, he thought that he would wait until tomorrow or maybe even postpone it to the last day, that he’ll talk to Jill and Jason first and then to Jeremy, obviously he doesn’t say any of that, he doesn’t say “you are welcome” either because it feels like a shit move, it sounds like him saying “good to know you finally catched up then” and that’s not what he wants to say. 

“Sorry if this is weird, it’s just that-” Jeremy continued, shuffling awkwardly with his hands like he was also looking for the right thing to say ”I just wanted to say thank you for being there for him and making him tell me”

“You don’t have to thank me,I love him and i want him to be okay” he says on an impulse, Jeremy looks back at him with, some mild surprised but after a second,his face visibly softens “besides i’m sure that he would have told you even if i-”

“He wouldn’t have if you hadn’t-i don’t really know what you did or what you said or what even happened, not that i have to know about it” Jeremy stops himself abruptly, shaking his head as if trying to rearrange his thoughts “Listen I know that we don’t really know each other and i know you might not think i do but i love him too and i also want him to be okay and i know you make him happy so please be careful with him”.

At first he was about argue that he knows that Jeremy loves Tyler and he doesn’t know why he would think the opposite of that but the last part catches him off guard making him feel automatically defensive “I would never hurt him”.

He is expecting Jeremy to respond explaining to him why he just said what he said but instead he smiles looking satisfied with that response “Good, you should come over on friday for dinner with the whole family”.

“You can’t just give me the shovel talk and then invite me to dinner-”

“Oh this was not a shovel talk,i’m not going to give you the shovel talk,this was a nice somewhat uncomfortable conversation, okay?” Alex nods because that sounds like a compromise “and even if it was, Tyler told me that Schneider gave him the shovel talk which included threat related food metaphors and he still ate dinner at your house so i think you can do the same”. 

He snorts and nods because he can’t really argue with that logic. 

As if on cue, Schneider walks into the apartment, still wearing his robe, apparently he went up because he had to check some stuff from the building, he ruffles Alex’s hair and grabs a chair to sit next to him looking confused at Jeremy, Alex introduces them and he quickly starts a conversation with him, slowly everyone gets back to the table, his mami and Jill walk back from the hallway, Elena comes back from the bathroom and his Abuelita gives Schneider a cup of coffee and Jeremy’s tea, Elena starts making conversation with him about college and it feels like he is finally relaxed as he starts talking about his friends Ben who went to YALE, Alex finishes his café con leche as everyone gets on with their conversations and he thinks that he can sneak out to see Tyler.

He eats a little bit of his toast before slowly standing up and his abuelita sees him but doesn’t say anything, he gives her a complicitory smile and she smiles back as he stands up to walk towards his room, he is about to walk in but then he remembers that Tyler is inside...possibly still changing. 

“Sorry, can I come in?” he asks knocking his own door. 

“Yeah unless you have a weird thing for feet that i don’t know about”.

“Oh ha ha ha” he said sarcastically as he opens the door, Tyler was sitting down on his bed, he was dressed similar to Jeremy, just a t-shirt and shorts, if any stranger had seen him, they would have thought that there was nothing special about the outfit but something that Alex focused on was that he was wearing Alex’s shirt, the black one with the Spiderman logo, the one his papi had bought for him but it was too big back then and then when it finally fit him right, he couldn’t wear it because it hurt to look at it and then he had worn the second time he kissed Tyler and then it became Tyler’s shirt so it didn’t hurt to look at it anymore.

But right now, when he stares at it, his throat starts tightening and his eyes are suddenly stinging.

“Everything okay?” Tyler asks, his hair was still wet making it look longer, he runs his hand through his hair, yanking it back to get it away from his face, letting out a frustrated huff. 

Alex smiles fondly at his frustration as he sits down next to him, he strokes his damp hair back and kisses his lips as he continues to smooth down his hair until he holds his face, he can feel his skin that is surprisingly warm and soft skin against his hands, he continued to kiss him very tenderly, as if to let him know that everything was fine. 

When he pulls away, Tyler seems to have gotten the message judging by the way he looks at him completely trusting and as Alex looks at his large dark brown eyes, he doesn’t understand how his dad could look at him and think that he could ever take advantage of someone.

“You sure, right?” Tyler still asks him. 

“Yeah, i am”. he responds for good measure “Let’s go now, they are waiting for you outside, abuelita is making your brother drink tea, you have to go and save him”.

Tyler snorted as Alex stood up offering him a hand, he took it and stood up, when they walked back into the kitchen, everyone is still talking but he could see Elena whisper back at Jeremy “see i told you so”, he laughed and gave a her ten dollar bill before standing up and walking towards Tyler, he smiles at him awkwardly before walking towards Elena. 

“What are you doing?” he asks her in a hushed tone looking at her suspiciously. 

“I bet that it would take you 15 minutes to come out” she said showing him the 10 dollar bill with a pleased smile. 

“If you are going to betray me like that you could have at least gone for twenty” he said before taking some of her toast. 

Jason calls Jill on her phone meaning that they should get going so they all start to say “goodbye” to each other, he feels hesitant about kissing Tyler in front of his siblings and his whole family but when he sees Jeremy being pulled into a hug by his abuelita and Jill finishing the tea that was on the table, he decides to go for it, he gives him a faint quick peck on the lips because he knows he’ll regret it if he doesn’t, Tyler smiles to him after he pulls away.

Jeremy puts his arm around Tyler as Jill keeps on telling Jason that they were already going downstairs as she waves at them goodbye, he sits down with the rest of his family to continue eating his toast as he sees the door close, he tries to return his attention to the dinner table and hearing Schneider continue his story about a new yoga class he is trying out as he finishes his toast. 

****

Alex could have never imagined spending one day without his phone willingly but right now he is putting off turning it back on, he doesn’t want to relieve the conversation he had with his dad just a few hours ago. 

After he finishes eating breakfast and finally gets to see his brie larson autograph, he helps his abuelita wash all the dishes, he cleans his room and tries to advance his homework for the next week before quitting halfway through because he is bored out of his mind so he might as well finally listen to Finn and watch Bojack horseman. 

That’s when he hears someone knock on the door and he says "Come in!", he turns back hoping that it might be his abuelita with some comfort food but instead it’s his mami smiling softly at him with an slightly worried look on her face that lets him know right away that she wants to talk about yesterday.

“Hey,how are you feeling?” his mom asks softly as she walks inside of the room and closes the door before sitting on his bed and gesturing for him to sit next to her which he does, she puts her arm around him and holds him close to her. 

When he looks at his mom’s face, he feels glad that his mom didn't see him last night because right now she is looking at him with this worried look on her face and he doesn’t want to see her like that, he says “I’m doing okay”.

“By okay you mean better than last night?” she says as if to tell him that she knows that he is not completely okay and that talking about it will make him feel better but he doesn’t really want to talk about it right now and even if he did, he wouldn’t even know where to start.

“Yeh,definitely doing better than last night” he responds, she squeezing his shoulder comfortingly “thank you for letting Tyler stay by the way”

“I’m glad he was there for you” she responds smiling sadly as she asks “and i’m sorry that things didn’t go well with your papi”. 

“yeah, it’s fine-well, no, it’s not fine but it’s whatever” he admitted it trying to shrug it off feeling frustrated.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” she asks him, he shrugs because he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t think that it will make a change if she talks to him or not.

“I want to see if he apologizes on his own” he tells her, in some ways he knows he will, he is not sure if it will be genuine or if he’ll actually forgive him but he still wants to give him chance to see if he’ll do it “but if you want to yell at him that would be cool”. 

“Oh I will” she said making him laugh “I just wanted to make sure you’ll be okay first, honey”

“I am” he said immediately, his mom doesn't look completely convinced but she nods at last before kissing his forehead and letting him alone in his room. 

He holds his phone to check if he has any messages, his papi stopped calling him a while after he fell asleep, besides that everything was the same as usual some memes on the group chats, likes on instagram and some youtube recommendations, he looks at all of that before deciding to go to Elena’s room to see what she is doing. 

The door is half open so he doesn’t knock, when he walks in, she closes the laptop so fast and hard, he is sure that she must have broken it, she looks a little panicked making him think the worst.

“Were you looking at porn?” he asked horrified ready to run away to his own room and scream in even more horror, Elena looked back at him as if to ask him how stupid he was.

“Yes, Alex, i was watching porn with the door open”

“Then what were you watching?” he asks, she sighs and rolls her eyes opening her laptop showing him a video that makes him burst out in laughter because he can’t believe he thought it was porn, it’s pretty much the opposite to that.

“Oh my god, shut up” she said rolling her eyes. 

“I can’t believe you are watching Disney Junior” he said more calm but still chortling. 

“I’m not watching Disney Junior, i’m watching one of their shows, it’s called elena of avalor: adventures in vallestrella” she started, Alex had to close his mouth so that the laughter wouldn’t come out but it did “It’s a really good show!!” that only caused his laughter to double up “IT IS!! IT REALLY IS!!! IT’S VERY INCLUSIVE!!! AND FEMINIST!! Like how many shows can you name where the female protagonist has NO male love interest and has no intention to be set up for one”

“Alright-”

“But also her and naomi are meant to be” she interrupts him and he just snorts this time “If you-”

“I’m not going to watch a show on disney junior-”

“That’s what i said the first time Syd mentioned it, they were dismayed that i didn’t knew about it-”

“I’m dismayed that you are still telling me about it-”

“And i didn’t expect much of a princess show on disney junior but it’s SO good” 

“Are you going to keep on insisting about this until i watch the show? Because it’s not going to work”

“Fine, we can watch a gay movie-”

“No, we’ll be here forever, you stop the movie every five seconds to point out the problematic tropes to me and i’ll be honest i don’t care that much, must a movie be good?? Can’t we just admire how cute boys and girls are?”

“That’s valid but when that becomes the reason why you are going to watch shitty movies like justice league-”

“I know it wasn’t good but sometimes you just want to see Ezra Miller and Gal Gadot” he defended himself. 

“I swear the show is so good, you’ll get hooked immediately” she insisted one last time, he almost rolled his eyes before deciding that this was his only choice, except for going back to his room to sulk so he settles next to her and Elena starts the first episode. 

*****  
Alex is not proud by the fact that he binge watched the whole first season of elena of avalor: adventures in vallestrella, mostly because Elena will never let him live it down and if he tells his friends, he is so sure that they’ll do the same, Finn specially so the next day when he gets to school and feels like he is about to fall asleep while standing up, Hugo gives him nudge startling him awake, he is too sleep deprived to come up with a good excuse so instead he tells them about his weekend, he assumed Cameron has been catched up about everything by Tyler but apparently he hadn't, he just knew that Tyler spend the night and of course when he says that, Finn makes a couple of comments about it but he ignores him as he talks about the next morning when his dad showed up and...

“and then he says that i’m getting manipulated and i’m confused and this is a phase-and can i just say that i hate when people say that”

“it’s the worst, like "just a phase” you know what’s else it’s just a phase? LIFE and that phase is about to be over for you” Hugo said crossing his arms looking incredibly angry.

“It sounds like you are planning to kill my dad” Alex snorted, mildly amused.

“I just might” Hugo replied shaking his head like he couldn’t believe that.

“I can’t believe that your dad thinks that Tyler manipulated you into getting into a relationship with him” Cameron said bewildered like that single idea is just so overwhelmingly stupid.

“i cant believe that your dad thinks Tyler just turned you gay with his magical personality or something like that, like not even i think that” Finn says non anchaly like he just doesn’t get it. “i mean i do know that half of the school thinks that but i didn’t think your dad would”.

Alex is about to go “wait! does half of the school really think that?” but decides to drop it because he doesn’t want to go down that rabbit hole right when he is already deep on something else as he continues “Anyway you won’t believe who was coming up the stairs just when he said all of that”

“Oh no” Hugo said like he already knew the answer.

“Please tell me that it was Schneider and he hit him in the face” Cameron said as if he was in jeopardy.

“Just tell me it wasn’t Jill” Finn said already cringing.

“Not just Jill but also Jeremy, i wanted to fucking jump down the stairs at that point”.

“Oh fuck, what did Tyler said?” Hugo asked him concerned, Finn let out a yikes underneath his breath.

“He doesn’t know” he said but he stopped himself because there was a chance that Jill or Jeremy had told him “Well, i don’t think he does”.

“You don’t want him to?” Finn asks him, Alex thinks that the answer to that it’s so obvious that he almost rolls his eyes, he turns to Hugo who also seems to have the same question and realizes that apparently it isn’t.

“Of course i don’t want him to know” he spat out, he couldn’t even imagine how to tell him what was he even supposed to say : Oh babe, i missed you, by the way, remember sunday morning, it was so nice, wasn’t it? well, while you were showering my dad showed up and told me he thinks you manipulated me into thinking i’m gay because apparently i’m very young and so very confused and stupid, haha, crazy, right? let’s go to class. 

Besides he already feels like he put enough of his emotional baggage on Tyler.

Hugo seems to disagree because he turns to Cameron and asks him “Cameron, you are the Tyler expert, you don’t think he’ll want to know?”

“I mean i don’t think he needs to know” he said like he was also imagining Tyler’s face if he had heard anything his dad said yesterday.

“Thank you-”

“But-” 

He groaned, feeling like he should drop dramatically in the floor. 

“I’m not saying you have to tell him” Cameron insisted before adding “but I think he would like to know”.

He wants to ask “Why would he want to know something that doesn’t matter and it’s just going to upset him?” but Cameron talks again “i don’t think Jill or Jeremy are going to tell him but they could slip and I think he would rather to hear it from you”.

This time he just asks “why?”. 

“Listen, if you don’t tell him, he might take it as you hiding it from him because it’s true” Alex is about to laugh, he told Tyler that he loved him yesterday, there was no way he’ll ever believe anything his dad said. 

“Listen i know Tyler enough to know that would never happen” he says, already knowing that Cameron is going to talk again because is opening his mouth “i know more than you do about this okay? I know him well enough”

Cameron looks taken back for a second, clearly offended like Alex had hit a nerve “Really? So you know how that the firsts weeks you were dating he was terrified that you were going to dump him, that you didn’t actually like him and a lot of other stuff? he has told you about that? because frankly i don’t think he has and i also believe that part of him is still stuck there”

He stood there feeling frozen for a couple of seconds trying to ignore the fact that he had no idea Tyler was scared of that in those first weeks and how Cameron already look regretful of what he had just said, Hugo and Finn were looking like they both were trying to disappear and were hearing stuff that they weren’t supposed to. 

In some ways everything had disappeared in that moment, he thought everything was okay-well, not okay, not perfect but different, good different like-

Yeah sure, they didn't knew what they were doing those first weeks (or was it the first weeks after everything became official? when did he said that?) but he thought that it didn't matter, that the past didn't matter because things had changed. 

Everything had changed, he knew that.

Cameron had to know that.

Tyler HAD TO know that.

Right?

“Things are different now” he strongly said, Cameron looked like he regretted everything that he had just said but Alex felt like it was too late for that “He talks about this often?”

Cameron shakes his head, it so earnest that he believes it.

Alex can tell that Cameron wants to say something but the moment he opens his mouth, Jill’s car show up on the driveaway, he is honestly surprised to see that because he wasn’t expecting Tyler to come to school today, since he usually arrives before he does and it would make sense for him to stay at home with Jeremy but no, there he is getting out of the car, hair a little messier than usual, an slight sunburn and twinkling at Alex.

When he sees that smile, he knows that he hasn’t heard anything and the idea of telling him (of getting rid of that smile) it made his stomach turn, he turned to look at Cameron who looked helpless like he wanted to throw himself to the upcoming traffic and decides to leave that conversation behind to be completely ignored.

When Tyler walks up to him and doesn’t even say “good morning”, he just leans in to kiss Alex right away, they don’t pull away until they hear someone clearing their throat and Alex was thinking about ignoring it until he realized that the person doing that is sister Barbara, it’s not like she can put them on detention because they are not on school hours but they still pull away just in case. 

He tries to hold Tyler’s hand and frowns when he realizes that had both of his hands on his pockets, he is going nudge him to ask him to hold his hand but before he can even open his mouth, the person to break the awkward silence is Finn, he smacks Tyler in the arm, telling him “so Tyler I heard that you had an interesting Saturday night?”

Tyler look at him lifting an eyebrow somewhat confused look on his face as he said “you did told him that I sleep on the floor right?”

“I did but that hasn’t stopped him” he responded quickly, doing a little shrug to tell him that he tried but he gave up.

“I slept on the floor” Tyler repeated slowly like Finn just hadn’t heard him correctly and hadn’t heard him correctly “my back is a little sore actually-”

“Yeah I bet it is” Finn replied lifting his hand to receive a high five for his amazing joke, Tyler smacked him in the forehead in response.

The bell rang as Finn complained about how he was going to have a concussion, Cameron took the opportunity to tell him that he had bigger problems than worrying about a concussion like not knowing what concussion was and Hugo started to explain what a concussion actually was. 

“Should we tell him that Finn is just playing dumb?” Tyler whispered into his side.

“Let him do it just in case, i’m not 100% sure he is playing dumb and we can’t have Finn walking around not knowing what a concussion is” he replied, Tyler laughed shaking his head, he was expecting at that point for Tyler to get his hand out of his pocket and hold his hand but it stays there and he is worried for a few seconds that Jill or Jeremy did told him and he is angry at him for not telling him, he thinks of letting it go, that he is just overreacting but a question escapes him “are you mad at me?”

He feels stupid as soon as the words leave his mouth because it can either go two ways: 1)Tyler realizes what he is saying right away, he doesn’t get it, holds his hand but it doesn’t feel genuine or 2) he has no idea what he is talking about and he “why?” and he is going to have to respond “because you are not holding my hand right now and our routine is that you come to school, we kiss, chat for a bit and then walk in holding hands, it’s like a constant thing and now you don’t want to do it and it’s freaking me out”.

“What? No!” he turns back obviously confused “Why do you think that?”

Lucky number 2.

He doesn’t respond right away and he knows he should because they only have a few minutes until the school closes their doors, they have to get detention and Alex gets grounded but then he realizes he has another problem because now Tyler is panicking “wait-is it because of the thing with Finn, listen i know you wouldn’t have said that we did something that we didn’t do but his joke made me feel weird and i-”

“What? no, it’s not that” he said shaking his head immediately Tyler visibly relaxed.

“Then what is it?” he asked him furrowing his eyebrows “why would you think i’m mad?”

“I just mean that-” Alex sighed feeling somewhat embarrassed as he said in a hushed tone “why don’t you want to hold my hand?”

“What? No, it’s just that i” Tyler said taking out his hands from his pocket ,he had just said but then he says in an equally hushed tone “painted my nails yesterday and forgot to take it off this morning-”.

“What? That’s all? i can’t believe that you are embarrassed by that” he tried to get a good look at his hands to see the nail polish, he leaned in an hushed tone “You know what’s actually embarrassing yesterday i spent my whole afternoon watching a Disney junior tv show, can you imagine that?”

“Okay first of all that's not embarrassing, good shows can be for everyone even if they have a target audience” Tyler said letting him take his hand, he was able to look at it, there was a different color on each nail “I'm not embarrassed, it’s just that if sister Barbara sees them, she’ll give me detention and i can’t have detention, i made plans with Jeremy after school”

“i have some gloves in my locker-”

“Wait” he interrupted him, he thought he was going to talk about how it would look suspicious to wear gloves in the middle of summer or if those gloves would even fit because Tyler’s fingers were little longer than his own but instead he asks “what show?”

“What?” he replies confused.

“The show on disney junior, which one?” he asked, he wasn’t mocking but genuinely curious.

“That’s what you want to focus on” he replied, Tyler gave him a perky nod “Alright i’ll tell you but only because you are cute, i was watching elena of avalor: adventures in vallestrella”

“Oh, i think Zoe watches it” he responded as they walked inside of the school “maybe we could watch it together”.

“Yeah?” he says surprised but Tyler nods again ”alright, sure”.

“Also since you gave that a shot then that means that we can watch Gravity falls, Steven universe and adventure time” he said with this bubbly smile and animated tone that could make about anyone get pumped “Oh you know what show you would like? You would like Gumball, we should watch Gumball first-wait, we can’t, Cameron and I haven’t finished the second season yet-you know what? let’s watch it but you are not allowed to tell him about it”.

“Oh my god you are such a traitor” he replied ridiculously even if he was about to agree to watch all of those shows in one sitting to keep him smiling like that.

They continue to walk inside, Alex just covers his hand by holding it by the two sides to make sure that if a teachers walks by they won’t see them, he is pretty sure that it looks weird but he couldn’t care any less about how it looks like or even if he feels ridiculous or that Tyler looks ridiculous wearing gloves in the middle of summer because at least they get to be ridiculous together.

When they get to the class, Mr. White doesn’t say anything about the gloves and he feels like he can finally breathe, they seat at different sides of the classroom like they always do and they smile at each other before the class starts.

****

“I think you should just shower here today” Finn said as they picked up the backpack from the benches, they were all tired from training “Worst case scenario Kevin puts something in your shampoo”.

“So you want me to be bald is that what you are saying?” he responded narrowing his eyes, he was crazy if he thought he was going to lose his hair in such a way.

“You are such a drama queen sometimes” Finn said drinking his bottle water and then passed it to Hugo who was using the collar of his sweatshirt to dab his face dry.

He felt someone tap his shoulder, part of him thought it was Kevin but Cameron was standing there with an apologetic look in his face before saying “I’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that in the morning it wasn’t fair, I wanted to apologize during the day but-”. 

“You didn’t want Tyler to know” he said, he expected Cameron to get mad but instead he just nodded silently, he was making hard staying mad at him.

“I’ll tell him and only about what i said, i promise” he responded, he could tell that he was on the verge of tears but he was trying to stay calm “i shouldn’t have said that, i shouldn’t have said anything at all, i was just jealous, i guess-”

“What?” he said echoed by Hugo was still standing behind him and he heard Finn whisper “called it”. 

“Not like that” he said calmly even if he obviously wanted to smack Finn but quickly turned back to Alex and he could tell that he was starting to tear up and people were turning to look at them.SHIT. and he didn’t have any tissues with him. DOUBLE SHIT “He is my best friend and i guess i’m just pissed that i don’t see him as often as i used to and that i’m no longer his go-to person and to be honest it kind of sucks”.

Alex didn’t knew how to answer to that but he doesn’t have to because Cameron continues “and today it sounded like you knew him better than i did and it pissed me off-it’s stupid really, it’s so dumb and it’s not your fault, i took it out on you and you didn’t deserve that, i’m sorry, it will never happen again”. 

Cameron stares into his eyes and tries to clean the tears running down his cheeks quickly as if he doesn’t want Alex to see them, not because he is ashamed but because he doesn’t want Alex to make his decision to forgive him based on that and that’s ultimately what makes him pat him in the shoulder and saying “we are good”. 

“Yeah?” he asks, voice somewhat restrained. 

“Yeah” he responded pulling him into a hug, he wasn’t sure if he had ever hugged Cameron outside of birthdays or when they won a baseball game, he has seen him and Tyler hug each other like they are trying to get the life out of one another but this hug is stiff, eventually he returned the hug with other muffled apologies.

When they pulled back, Finn made a comment about how they needed to hit the showers or they’ll ran out of hot water, he put his arm around Cameron taking him to the bathroom, Hugo was still there.

“Do you think i should tell him?” he asks Hugo who was just starting to stand up.

“Yeah” he said but he sounded hesitant, it frustrated Alex because why did he insisted that morning if he wasn’t 100% sure.

“Well, thank you so much, that helps a lot” he replied sarcastically and sharply as possible.

“I’m sorry I just don’t know what’s the right thing to say, i have never been there before” he answered honestly and Alex got it, then he added comfortingly “just do what you think it’s right, okay?” the “i’ll be here” was implicit, he nodded back because he knew that would be enough to let Hugo know it’s okay because he knows he has good intention but he couldn’t stop thinking about what he had just said.

But he was taken away from his thoughts when Hugo did a sign with his head as if to tell him that he should look behind him, he turned to see Tyler walking up towards them waving happily, he thought that Hugo was going to stay but he mentioned something about how he had to go if he wanted to get hot water.

“Hey” Tyler said kissing his cheek right away.

“Hi” he responded “how was theater club?”

“Pretty cool” he said shrugging “how was practice?”

“Practice was fine” he picked his bag from the bench “do you want me to walk you home?”

“Jason is coming to pick me up so that we can meet up with the rest of the family for dinner in Benihana but he is stuck in traffic and i was thinking that while i wait, i could entertain myself by going and buying you some ice cream as a thank you for letting me use your gloves”

“Sounds entertaining, i’m in” he said as Tyler extended his hand, he took his hand as they walked to the nearby store,they bought two ice creams as Tyler kept on giving recommendations to different tv shows but Alex can’t help to think about what Cameron had said that morning, he only snaps out of it when Tyler gives him back.

He thinks that Tyler isn’t suspecting anything until they are quietly eating the ice cream and he asks him out of the blue “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah, why?” he said trying to sound nonanchaly.

“Because you seemed lost in thought and that usually means that something happened” he replied as he took a napkin and cleaned his chin and he could see he had stained his shirt “so it’s everything okay?”.

“Yeah, i’m-yeah” he swallowed thickly, forcing the lie out between his teeth.

Tyler continued sending him a questioning look, he wanted to repeat it again to see if it would sound better this time but instead he says “my dad came over to see me on sunday morning-” but stops when he looks at Tyler’s face, he has this nervous restrained panicked look on his face and now Alex is the one who wants to ask if he is okay but decides to continue instead "We had an argument, he said a lot of stupid stuff” he is expecting Tyler to pull his hand away and start asking him questions but he just stares silently and waits for him to finish “we were arguing in the stairs and your siblings walked in, maybe they mentioned-”

“No, they didn’t say anything” he said, his tone was flat and his expression was blank as if he was processing, like he didn't understand and was lost.

"i didn’t want to tell you because it wasn't important and you were going to have a day with your siblings and i felt like i had already complicated things enough yesterday and my dad just said a lot of dumb stuff, stupid stuff that doesn’t matter” he said hoping that Tyler would understand that and agree with him that it doesn’t matter and continue eating their ice creams.

But instead he says “He called you the night before”.

“What?” he blinks repeatedly shocked but he overcomes it when Tyler tries to pull his hand away, Alex clings to it as he mentally prays that Tyler didn’t answer that phone call, that he let it ring and only felt bad because he made his dad worry and that’s why he thinks he doesn’t like him.

“i’m sorry that i didn’t tell you, i swear i forgot to tell you, i didn’t know how to bring it up-he called you and i answered-”

Dammit.

“What did he said?” he asks right away because if his dad said all of those things to him, he can’t imagine what he said to Tyler, he opened his mouth but not sounds came out and his face twisting into a lost uncomfortable expression that made his nerves jump to say “whatever he said it’s not true”

“He didn’t say much, well i didn’t let him, i hung up on him” he says making Alex let out a sigh of relief “i’m sorry if i maybe i made things worse”.

Alex doesn’t know how to tell Tyler that he doesn’t think that he could have done anything to change his dad’s mind and he doesn’t think that the phone call really made things better or worse so instead he decides to reassure him that things are fine but before he says anything, Tyler asks “what did he said?” 

“It doesn’t matter” he insisted quickly and firmly because it was true, it didn't matter and he wants Tyler to understand that. 

“I’m so sorry for whatever that happened you did not deserve that” Tyler said comfortingly still looking hesitant, he could tell that he still wants to asks about it but instead goes “we don’t have to talk about this now if you don’t want to”.

"Or we could just not talk about it ever because like I said it's not important" he offers playfully trying to change the subject and finish his ice cream before it melts, he lets Tyler’s hand go then because his cell phone starts ringing and he has to answer it. 

“That bad, huh?” Tyler responds, he also starts lifting his hand as if to say that he was completely dropping the subject from now on, Alex nods and holds his ice cream so that he has more space to answer the phone call. 

He answers and it’s Jason who is already there so he should get going, he kisses him before he gets inside of the car, he tastes like vanilla ice cream, Tyler smiles at him before turning around and running to the car and he waves at him before the car passes him by.

Alex doesn’t realize that he has been eating a vanilla ice cream instead of his chocolate one until he is already on the bus. 

*****

He comes home a little late, Georgie the bus driver wasn’t there, apparently he was sick so Alex got stuck with his nephew some dude named Garvin who has no idea of what he is doing. 

Alex runs home and basically jumps on the couch as soon as he arrives because today it's the finale of rubi, his Abuelita catches him on what he missed on, apparently rubi fell off the second floor, destroyed her face and half of her leg. 

When Elena walks in trying to talk about her day, they both shush her, same thing with his mami, who honestly can’t believe they are so into that show but they he can’t even pay attention to her, they just found out Cayetano is about to die and that’s such a tragedy, he just had a baby with his wife, of course when he tries to explain that to his mami, she just rolls her eyes fondly before going to her room to study.

They start dinner during the commercials and he shouldn't be surprised by how his abuelita can cook perfectly without taking her eyes from the tv,but it is very impressive since he almost lost a finger while looking at Rubi trying to stop the wedding of Maribel and Alejandro but everything is fine, the wedding happened and his fingers are okay. 

By the time they are serving dinner, there are only a few minutes left of the last episode, it’s an open ending and apparently now it's 17 years later Rubi’s niece is going to follow her evil plan to destroy the marriage of Alejandro and Maribel, he is honestly surprised that there isn’t a part two.

After discussing the ending and which telenovela they should watch next, they call both Elena and his mami so that they can eat together, Elena walks in but his mami doesn’t, he thinks that she is probably fell asleep while she studied so he stands up to go get her.

He walks towards her door and he is about to knock when he hears a muffled “i can’t believe that you are doing this again, i honestly thought we were over this”.

Alex knows that he should take a step back because this is his mom’s room and she deserves her privacy, besides he is unsure if that’s her talking to her dad and even if he is right, does he really want to hear what his dad is saying behind his back? 

Maybe he should just knock the door so that he can save her from this conversation. 

“Yes, it is Victor! you are doing this again, you said the same thing last time! and all you got out of it was pushing your daughter away!” she says harshly but her tone softened as she adds “Do you want to make the same mistakes with Alex?”.

When he hears that, he gets curious for his papi’s answer, he opens the door, only a creek so that he can take hear the rest of what he is going to say, his mami is turned around, sitting on her bed and phone on her hand, he is not on speaker so he can’t make out the answer but he can imagine it “Elena was the exact same age when she came out and have you thought that maybe it’s not sudden? that maybe Alex has been thinking about for a while, besides how young were you when you knew you were straight?”

He smiles to himself when she says that and can’t help to think that Elena would be proud if she heard her, then there is a long silence, he wished that he could hear his dad’s response.

“Do you even hear yourself?” his mom says and Alex realizes that maybe not, he doesn’t know how he might have reacted if he had heard the end of the sentence “Tyler is a good kid, i know him and i know his family and you are acting like-”

There is another pause and she scoffed before saying that she’ll talk to him later, Alex closes the creek of the door silently and quickly because he doesn’t want his mom to know he was listening and he doesn’t want her to worry about him, so he waits a minute,cheeks his own voice to make sure that it sounds normal before saying “Mami, dinner is ready”

“I’ll be there in a minute, Honey!” his mom responded, he wondered if she had also checked her own voice to make sure she sounded normal. 

Before he makes his way back to the kitchen, he checks his own reflexion in the mirror, trying to make sure he didn’t have an angry expression on his face, he doesn’t force a smile on his face because he knows it would look unnatural but at least he tries to look neutral, he runs to the kitchen, his mami appears a second and they are about to settle down and start to eat dinner, Schneider walks into the apartment with a cake that he was given by the McGurbs and he starts talking about work with Elena, they only stop them when they start talking about toilet work. 

He doesn’t need to know what got stuck on their toilet this time.

*****

“My uncles and aunts are going to start coming tomorrow, you know to help with the final arrangements of wedding” Hugo says as he takes his burger, Alex can see behind him “honestly it’s not that i’m not happy to see them, i’m just worried about what the sleeping arrangements are going to be, my uncle Nicolas and aunt Grace just had triplets and something tells me that i’m going to have to give them my room”.

“You can always stay with your mom during all of that” Alex suggest.

“My mom is also offering her house for them to stay there, she wants to see my aunts and catch up” Hugo explain offering Cameron some fries because he knows that he likes them more “but hey at least my cousins are going to stay at my house, we might get to make a blanket fort”

Alex is about to explain how his mami never let Elena and him do blanket forts, she believed that we would get trapped into the blankets, asphyxiate and then die, when Finn said teasingly “A blanket fort? what? are you five?” 

Hugo ignores him as he continues to eat but Tyler cuts in saying “What’s wrong with blanket forts?”

“Nothing, it’s just kid stuff-”

"Finn,i don't know how tell you this but we are all kids, like we are all literally and legally all minors at this table" Hugo says seriously. 

"No, we are teenagers, that's different" Finn argued.

“My brother and i made a blanket fort” Tyler said nonanchaly as he continued to eat “ and we are using it while he stays here”

“isn’t your brother like twenty six?”

“Yeah, and?” 

“Aren’t you two a little too old to be doing that?” 

“Aren’t you a little annoying to be talking right now?” 

"I'm just saying that kind of thing are for LITTLE kids, also your brother is a full blown adult, it’s just such a weird thing to do-" 

“It’s also a tradition that we have and it’s fun, Finn” he explained somewhat frustrated. 

“Yeah, just because it’s a tradition doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it” Finn continued, Alex was trying to give him a look telling to shut up or at least to take it down a notch “anyway i know he came to see you but doesn’t he have any other friends here to visit or something else to do-”

“So what movie did you guys went to watch yesterday?” Hugo asked, Alex was grateful that he wasn’t the only one seeing where this conversation would be heading into a fight.

“Oh, Detective Pikachu” Tyler responded in a monotonous tone of voice. 

“Heard it’s good” Cameron joins in trying to also re-focus the conversation but Tyler looks ready to tell Finn to finish that sentence but Alex grabs his hand and firmly press it.

Tyler turns to look at him somewhat aggravated look but it quickly changes when he looks at the pleading look on his eyes, he relaxes as he continues saying “it was good, you guys should see it, it was fun”. 

His tone is unconvincing but they change the topic, and Alex sees Tyler and Cameron sharing a look, Tyler is tilting his head meanwhile Cameron is slightly grinning, he doesn’t understand what they are doing, it’s like they are having a whole conversation with their eyes, he finally gets what it was about when he sees Cameron discreetly put a little bit of spicy sauce on Finn’s food. 

Even if he already knew what was going to happen, he still laughs out loud when Finn terrifiedly starts to chug down his bottle of water and angrily mumbling “Assholes! Both of you!”.

Alex doesn’t say anything, he waits for later when Tyler excuses himself to pick up some books from his locker, after a few minutes he decides to go talk to him. 

He finds him with a cookie in his mouth and taking out his books, he walks towards him but before he has even opened his mouth, Tyler finishes the cookie and says “Yeah, i know Finn doesn’t mean it, i’m not mad, i was just annoyed”.

“Actually i wasn’t coming here to talk about Finn, i was just coming to carry your books for you and tell you that you have some cookie crumbs on your chin” he said cleaning it with his thumb, Tyler leaned into the contact, he still looked slightly stressed “Are you okay?”

“I feel like we have been asking that to each other a lot these last weeks” 

“To be fair, it has been couple of difficult weeks” Alex didn’t want to point out that wasn’t really an answer so instead he gives him a playful nudge as he helps him with his books “But you are right, from now on let’s keep our feelings bottled up and not ask each other questions like a couple of straight dudes with toxic masculinity”.

“Yes, the ones that only hug on special occasions!” Tyler respond humorously.

“And barely hold eye contact” Alex said chuckling. 

“And” Tyler said trying to continue the game “and-i don’t know what else tedious heterosexuals do, i’m sorry”.

Somehow that caused Alex to bust a gut more than anything else he could have said, Tyler hushed him by covering his mouth to try to keep him from being too loud as he said “Oh my god, stop", but he started to laugh too which quickly turned into to cackling, Alex covered his mouth which only caused for both of the double up and for them to actually drop the books. 

“Oh well fuck” Tyler said still giggling as they both leaned down to pick them up. 

“Sorry” he snorted. 

“no, don’t worry, It’s my fault, i should have put down the cookies” he shrugged before taking the bag and asked him “do you want one?”

“Sure” he responded before taking one and biting it, it was a chocolate chip cookie and he could totally understand why he didn’t want to put it down, he still helps him to get the rest of books “these are good”.

“Do you want another?” he said as they started to stand up. 

“Sure” he said taking another one from the bag “but only one more, i don’t want to leave you with nothing” 

“No, it’s cool” Tyler mentioned as he passed him another one “i’ll be getting a new bag for each day for the rest of the week” 

“Really?” he said surprised, Tyler nodded “Alright! i get a second one!” 

“Third one technically” 

“Well, it’s the second from the time i thought it was going to be last one” he explained, Tyler looked at him confused but also amused at the same time,he reached for his hand and he held it back “leave me alone, you know i’m right, anyway how are you getting all of these cookies?”

“Oh Cameron is making them from me, it’s his way of apologizing for what he did yesterday” he shrug casually but he could see him tense as he talked. 

“Yeah, he said he would tell you” he responded and was actually able to stop himself from blurting out “Do you still feel that way? Do you seriously think i don’t like you?”

"He came to my house yesterday and we talked for a while, i didn’t knew he felt that way and i wished he would have just told me how he felt so that we could have sorted things out” he said now sounding a little self conscious like he didn't want anyone else to hear him and since they were standing in the school hallway he understood why “and i was actually going to call you after he left so that we could talk about what he said-well i was planning to call you before that because yesterday, i also talked to Jason and Jill about the stuff”

“Oh” he said surprised and taken back, wanting to ask about how it went and why hadn’t he said anything before but he noticed that Tyler had more to say like he had actually memorized it before he got here. 

“It went well, we talked a lot, we cried a lot, we had a group hug” he said in an attempt to be humorous but then it got serious again “i’m going to start going to therapy next friday. 

“Oh” he said now feeling relieved that it had gone well.

“I wanted to call you to thank you for being there for me and for convincing me to tell them, you were right, i do feel better now” he nodded like he was trying so hard to remember everything and get it right “but i knew that if i called you, we were going to have to talk about what Cameron said and then i realized that i didn’t knew what to say but now i do and i’m ready for whatever you want to ask”

This time Alex can’t help himself from from asking on an impulse “Did you really felt that way?”

Tyler’s eyes landed on his, they stared at each other in silence until he admits “Yeah”.

His voice was low, difficult to hear but Alex could and even if he couldn’t, Tyler nodded for good measure “not all the time but yeah, it was like there was this part of me that kept doubting it like i didn’t knew if i was reading the signals right and i seriously thought that maybe you weren’t really interested in me.”

“I was and I am” he said even if he felt like it was obvious, like Tyler should know that, like he already knew, he look down at their clasped hands and then back at Tyler’s face, he could see that something in those words provoked something in Tyler, he could see something bittersweet behind his brown eyes but he couldn’t see if he believed him "you know that right?" 

The idea of Tyler not believing that hurted, he was about to ask “do you still feel that way?” or even worse “do you don’t believe i love you?” but before he could say anything, Tyler took his wrist and pulled him gently towards him before wrapping him into a hug and causing both of them to drop the books again but this time, they weren’t in a hurry to pick them up, after a long silence Tyler finally said “I know”.

Alex leaned his head on his shoulder and held him, they stay like that holding each other in silence, all he can think it’s that Tyler never said anything about feeling that way and he feels Tyler kissing his shoulder as he said “I know” again, his voice quivering this time.

“Do you still feel that way?” he asks, Tyler pulls away enough to look at his face, he looks downhearted and a little conflicted.

“Sometimes i do” his voice sounding strangled like he obviously didn’t want to admit that but he keeps a firm expression, for a second Alex thinks that the whole response and he wants to ask him why but then he realizes that Tyler is just pausing like taking a deep breath before getting under the water “i don’t know why but i do like when i talked to your dad, he said “i know you care about him but i think he is just-” and i cut him off because all i could think about was that anything that he could tell me, i had heard it all already, i have said that to myself, that you are confused, that you’ll change your mind about me tomorrow” Alex felt like his own heart was breaking because he couldn’t believe Tyler could think that about him, did he seriously thought that he could do any of that stuff but the last part was what hurt the most “and that even if you don’t, i’m just not good enough for you”.

“What?” he said starting to process that last part because it was what stuck out the most to him, he started to realize that it wasn’t that Tyler didn’t believe him or trust him, he seriously thought that he was not good enough for him and he was going to dump him “none of that’s true, specially that last part, let me tell you why, because you are one of the best things that have ever happened to me even before we were dating, you walked around for a whole afternoon to get me a playstation, you were there when my abuelita got sick, or that one time i threw up on your shoes and instead of getting mad, you pat me in the back and one time when i almost sneezed on your face, you literally helped me to blow my nose and this year when the thing with Schneider happened, you didn’t even have to do so much as to take one look at me before you knew something was off and this last weekend, you showed up when i needed you the most and you didn’t even ask what i needed, you already knew because you are always there, always listening, always comforting and sometimes being exactly what i need, you are more than enough, okay?”. 

Tyler stares into his eyes, trusting and soft, he doesn’t say “okay” instead he says “i love you” and he smiles at him, he smiles back, and that’s all he needs to hear to know that he knows Alex means it.

“I love you too” he responds easily before he gives him a kiss on his cheek.

“And just for the record” Tyler says putting his hands on his face, softly rubbing his thumb over his skin “you are also one of the best things that have ever happened to me”. 

“Oh, i know, i’m pretty awesome” he responded right away slightly smug, Tyler snorted again, shaking his head but also smiling fondly at him.

The bell started to ring meaning that it was time to go to class so he slowly let go of Tyler and they both got down to pick up the books again before everyone started to walk to class, they pick everything up and started to get to the classroom when Tyler said “Jeremy told me that he talked to you on sunday”. 

“Yeah” Alex said trying to remember what he had said, hoping they weren’t going to get on a serious conversation five minutes before calculous. 

“So you are coming on friday for dinner?” Tyler asked excited, oh that was what he was talking about “it’s okay if you can’t-” 

“What? No! i would love to go” he reassured him, he beamed at him before going to his seat and Alex did the same feeling completely at ease. 

*****

It’s friday afternoon and Alex has never been more stressed in his life, he doesn’t know why, this is not his first time going to Tyler’s house, he has been there thousands of times, he has meet his siblings but this feels more formal, more official, more serious and it’s freaking him out a little bit, he wonders if this is how Tyler felt when he came to spent time with his abuelita and starts to understand his nerves. 

He wanted to ask Elena for advice but she went to help the McGurbs so at the end he just took a shower and went to decide what to wear, the first thing he realizes is that he wants to to wear the shirt that Tyler bought for him in San Valentine’s day, he was waiting for pride to do it but it just feels right to wear it today, he changed his pants more than ten times and his sneakers like five times but at the end of it, he looked in the mirror, he grabbed his jacket ,looked at the mirror and he looked great, he was ready to go. 

His abuelita gives him a kiss on the cheek and she even prepared flan for the dinner, he is so glad that she thought of that and he hugs her as he thanks her, she sprays him with violetas and when he was almost out of the door, his mami said that Schneider said that he could drop him on his way to his AA meeting, that helps to relax him as well, he is pretty sure he would get more frustrated on the bus.

When he arrives to the house, he kisses his mami’s cheek and thanks Schneider for the ride, he hears him saying “good luck” but quickly adds “not that you’ll need it or anything like that”. 

He stands on the porch like he has done thousands of time before, he knocks on the door and he can hear a little of shuffling happening inside, he leans in to be able to listen it better but that’s when Tyler opened the door.

“Hey” he is wearing a sweater and flowery shirt under it, he looks a little formal and extremely adorable but he can’t help to notice that he is trying to hide whatever is happening behind him, all he can see is Jeremy moving something from the living room to Tyler’s room and instantly Butch runs toward them, Tyler notices that, he takes the flan and says “Here let me help you with that”.

Butch starts to sniff him, she stood up in her two legs and leaned on him as she moves her tail, Alex starts to scratch behind her ear and he looks at Tyler who just noticed the shirt and he looks like he is beaming with pride. 

“You look handsome too” he said as he moved aside to let him in and Alex closed the door.

Tyler’s smile grows bigger as they walk through the living room to the kitchen, Butch trailing behind them, the first thing he sees is Jason is putting the glasses on the table and little zoey is passing them to him, Jill is putting the spaghetti on plates, Sarah is helping her with the details. 

“Alex brought dessert” Tyler announced making everyone turn around to look at them. 

“Oh thank you so much, Alex” Jill said as she passed the wooden spoon to Sarah who waved at him and walked towards them and took the flan from Tyler’s hands, he kissed Alex’s cheek before turning around again. 

“Good afternoon Alex” Jason said awkwardly, he could tell that he was feeling like he was being too formal, he took his daughter's hand and he said “honey, this is Alex, he is Tyler’s boyfriend”. 

Zoey looks up to him and simultaneously Tyler slides his arm over Alex’s shoulder, she tilts her head and stretches her hand, as they shake hands she says “I don’t know if to say nice to meet you, we’ve met before”.

He laughs because it’s true, they have meet before, but only on Tyler’s birthday and maybe once or twice besides that, he is not sure if they have ever talk, all he knows is that she likes to play and mess with Tyler’s hair, he smiles to her and after a second, she smiles back. 

“Sorry, i was doing some stuff” Jeremy said running inside of the kitchen, looking slightly disheveled and simply greeted him by saying “hey Alex”.

“He brought dessert” Zoey mentions like that was a huge accomplishment. 

“It’s flan, my abuelita made it” he explained, Jeremy simply nodded. 

“Oh, Lydia is one of the best cooks i have ever meet” Sarah says as she puts the first plate on the table, he smiles when he notices that it’s spaghetti with meatballs because that’s Tyler’s favorite and also used on special occasions. 

That’s when the doorbell rang and Zoey said “Mom!” and ran automatically to open the door, Jason followed behind her smiling to open the door, he smiled as he saw him kiss Alyssa at the door and help her with her papers and purse and Zoey jumped on her to kiss her, she hugged her back before greeting everyone and apologized for being late, apparently she had to turn in some tests and her students had questions.

They sit to eat dinner, the table has the form of a circle, it’s a little crowded he keeps rubbing his elbows with Tyler and Jill but he is comfortable and it gives him the chance to hold his hand without looking too clingy.

They start eating in what he would call comfortable silence but it seems like Tyler doesn’t feel the same way because he says “Hey Jill, you never told me how you talked to that exorcist?”

“Which time?” Jill asked frowning making everyone at the table do a second take towards her “what? i like to socialize, sometimes i meet weird people, it’s perfectly normal”

“I know but two exorcists?” Jeremy exclaimed lifting one eyebrow but Jill just lifted her two hands as if to claim innocence. 

“The one that told you that when a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore” Tyler clarified. 

“Oh that was the time when mom and dad took me and Jason to a carnival” she turn her head towards Jason to ask “how old were we?”

“Probably twelve, we still had plans to join the circus”

“What?” Tyler said looking at Sarah who nodded like she knew all along, same with Alyssa and even little Zoey “How is it that i’m only hearing about this now?” 

“What were you going to do in the circus?” Alex asks actually curious because he couldn’t see them doing that. 

“Yeah, what were you two even going to do in the circus?”Jeremy asks looking confused, apparently this was the first time hearing this too.

“Honestly I just remember that we were just going to join to circus and live our best lives” Jason said looking like he was actually trying to remember.

“And years later when we were in college” Jill continued explaining with a fond smile on her face “and one of us had a particularly bad test we sent it to each other and ask if it’s too late to join the circus?"

“Aw” Alex said but apparently Tyler was not touched, he smiled like he had just had a brilliant idea. 

“I know what you two should have done” Tyler said as if he had just come up with a brilliant idea “You should have pretended to be some twins with some supernatural connection, like Jason could see the past, Jill could have seen the future”

“You two could have made bank” Jeremy agrees.

“By ripping people off” Jason argued, Jeremy rolled his eyes as he turned to Tyler like he was saying only you can understand me. 

“Yeah, but we could have a house with a pool” Zoey said looking at Alyssa who chuckled. 

“You can’t argue with that” Tyler responded with a smug smirk, Jason was going to say something but he covered Zoey’s ears first.

“You two are a horrible influence” he said jokingly, Tyler only snorted and Jeremy smiled to himself as their brother he let go of Zoey’s little head as she continued to eat “Anyway, Jill, tell them what happened later”. 

“Oh, so we are waiting in line to get some cotton candy, that let’s be honest, we were not going to finish and there is this lady with her stand who is nearby and she tells me that she can see the future and i go”

“You could have gotten kidnaped” Tyler says automatically, Zoey nodding in a way that he finds adorable. 

“She didn’t even tell mom and dad” Jason said like he was returning to that night “they both almost had heart attacks”.

“So i go” she said, speaking directly to Alex and ignoring the interventions, he couldn’t help to snort “and i ask her about my future husband” when she says that and everyone breaks into laughter, he can see her holding Sarah’s hand as she gives her a kiss on the cheek “she told me that i wouldn’t have one and i was like OH THANK GOD”.

“She literally yelled that” Jason interrupted again “that’s how we found her”. 

“And thank god they did, i had to pay five dollars each questions and i had no money” she continued calmly “anyway, they show up and dad-it was dad, right?” 

“Yeah, it was dad” Jason confirmed.

“Dad asks this clairvoyant if she can talk to ghosts” she said shaking her head as she laughs “and she tells him that she is an exorcist during the weekends but that she can also communicate with ghosts”.

“What the fuck?” Tyler said also laughing, Alex could only imagine how his abuelita would be horrified by that because she would think that she is trying to get vengeful ghosts inside of your house.

“I’m pretty sure that she was just bull-” she said but Sarah nudged her reminding her that Zoey was at the table “LYING! she was lying about all of that stuff but if she wasn’t, god, imagine having such a busy life, you are telling the future during the week, then you are getting rid of ghosts in the weekend”. 

“She sounds like a tim burton character” Jeremy mentions casually and then asks “what happened next?”

“Dad asks her if his father is still a dick in his after life” Jill said laughing “and then the woman said once a spirit crosses over none of the judgements you have about people even exist anymore and that’s the story”. 

“Where was i during all of this?” Jeremy asked with a lifted eyebrow. 

“At home with your babysitter” she explained and Jeremy nodded to that.

“That was a cool story” Alex says politely even if his instinct was to say that this whole conversation had been a wild ride.

The conversation continued even if somewhat divided, Jason and Jill were explaining to Jeremy about how he used to hate all his babysitters and they few times they went out and he had to stay home it was always a struggle, Alyssa is telling Sarah about how her philosophy class went, Alex is about to start talking to Tyler about something else when he sees him looking at little zoey who looks somewhat bored, then he turns to him with these puppy dogs eyes like he is begging him to do something, he stares back at his face questioningly until he remembers their conversation from earlier this week.

He nods before Tyler awkwardly leans in and asks her “Hey Zoey, you know Alex also watches elena of avalor?” 

She perks up as she nods and they start talking about the show, she even exchanges seats with her mom to sit closer to them and he worries for a second that Tyler is bored but when he turns to look at him, he is gazing at the two of them staring at them with this loving look on his face but when he notices him looking back at him, he stands up to get the flan. 

Once they are done with eating, he stands up and tries to help with the plates like he usually does but Tyler shoos him away almost immediately, he is going to argue but instead he lets him go to help Jason with the plates. 

He goes to the living room to sit in the couch instead and as soon as he does that, Jill bolts to sit next to him, she has a photo album in her hands looking fidgety like she had been waiting for this moment.

“What are you doing?” Tyler asked from the kitchen, like he somehow knew what she had done even if he wasn’t able to get a look at her. 

“She is showing Alex your baby pictures” Jeremy said smiling sitting next to Jill as if to get a better look. 

“It’s not technically your baby pictures, it’s family photos that Tyler happens to be a baby in” Jill said cheerfully, without opening the album like she waiting for the family to get together, Tyler came like she wasn’t actually going to show him anything without his permission.

“Honestly i know a lot of people don’t like their baby pictures but i actually do” Tyler sit next to him and even opened the book “it’s the best i have ever looked”.

Alex was about to say that wasn’t true but thought that might be too cheesy with the whole family there but the first minute he saw picture of Tyler was so adorable that he couldn’t avoid cooing and feeling embarrassed right away as Jill told the story behind every picture and he happily looked as he felt Tyler nestle next to him.

*****

After finishing looking at the picture, he knew it was time to go home, Jason and Jill, both offered to drive him since his mami and Schneider weren’t going to be able to pick him up but he decided to just take an Uber instead.

As he says “goodbye” Jill pulls him into a nice hug, so does Sarah, Alyssa gives him a kiss on the cheek, Jason awkwardly gives him a side hug but he thinks it’s nice, Zoey goes for a handshake instead and he complies, finally he stands in front of Jeremy, they both stand in front of each other like they are waiting for the other one to do the next move, finally he pulls him into a hug, it’s not a tight embrace like Jill’s or wraps his arms completely around him like Sarah did, it’s not even the same awkward side hug Jason did, it’s like a cautious hug like he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable and once he pulls away, Jeremy pats his shoulder before ruffling Tyler’s hair and sitting next to Jill. 

Tyler walks him outside to wait for his uber and he says “say thank you to your abuelita from all of us, the flan was delicious”.

“Oh she knows” Alex responds because he knows that’s what she'll says. 

Tyler laughs amused before looking back at the house like he was checking something like he was trying to look behind the curtains.

“What are- hmmpf”

Tyler leaned in, putting his hands on his shoulder, pulling him closer as he kissed him, Alex responds by putting his hands on his cheeks and lets himself melt into the kiss that it’s sweet and careful.

That it is of course, until his uber driver appears and he has to go, he kisses Tyler cheek and waves at him from the inside of the car and Tyler does the same and stays standing there until the car starts and he is out of sight, the driver asks if he wants to change the radio station but he says that it’s all fine when he hears his phone beep for a second he thinks it’s Tyler and he is getting ready to roast him because of how cheesy that is-

When he realizes that it’s not Tyler. 

It’s his papi. 

He is dreading opening the message but he does anyway, it says “i know you don’t want to talk right now, i just wanted to tell you that i’m sorry, i said things that i shouldn’t have said and that were out of place, i hope we can talk soon, i promise you i'll fix this”.

For a couple of minutes he doesn’t know what to answer to that, probably that the things he said weren’t just “out of place” but that felt like someone was stabbing him, that he doesn’t understand how much it they hurt, that he can’t just forgive him and that he needs to stop being so impulsive. 

The thing that he wants to say the most was that “Good luck trying to find a way to fix it because i don't know how you are going to do it".

Instead he writes “we’ll talk soon, thanks for the apology”. 

Part of him thinks of adding “i guess” but decides to leave it at that, he gets home and opens the door wondering if there is anyone home, he opens the door and sees Elena who sitting on the couch.

“Hey” he says casually.

“Hey, how did the dinner with in-laws go?” she asks him teasingly and he settles next to her.

“Pretty good actually, I finally understand why Tyler loves spaghetti so much, Jill is an excellent cook” he said before turning around face the curtain and says as loud as possible “BUT NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS ABUELITA-”

“She went out with Doctor B.” she said as she started laughing at him.

“HEY! Don’t laugh! I have to do that remember that one time I him complimented Samuel’s food just a little too much and she asked me if he was a better cook than her, even after I told her that he wasn’t, she still made passive-aggressive comments about how it probably wasn’t as good as Samuel’s for a whole week every time she served us food”

“I can’t relate to anything of what you just said” she snorted.

“Let me explain it for you, people with a social life like me get invited to places-”

“HEY! I also get invited to places!” she replied punching him with one of the pillows “I got invited to Josh’s house, the food was not great but whatever, to Carmen’s house the food there was good and Syd’s house, the food is fine-”

“Okay two of those were your significant others so they don’t count” she punch him with the pillow again “OUCH!”.

“Just today i got invited to the McGurbs-”

“Drinking lemonade while watching jeopardy with the neighborhoods is not a part of social life-”

She hits him again and this time he almost falls off the couch, that’s when she stops and helps him to keep valance and pulls him back into couch as she continues “so like i was saying i was hanging out with the McGurbs, we were watching NCIS for your information, we only watch Jeopardy on fridays but anyway as i was saying, i was talking to the McGurbs and Herb told me that he saw you on sunday”.

That almost makes him lose his valance again, he feels queasy for a second because he just remembered the older white man walking up the stairs while he fought with his dad, he didn't even knew that was Herb, all he could think about it's how Hugo always says that all white people look alike.

“Please don’t be mad-”

“Don’t be mad?” she said looking at him like he was crazy “why would i be mad at you?”

“No, not at me” he said, she stared at him for a couple of second before understanding what he was saying and starting to shake her head “Elena, come on”.

“If i was you, i would be calling Nicole”

“I’m not going to snitch on papi, he already apologize” he said that and Elena automatically scoffed “Alright!! maybe snitching it’s not the best world and it was not a great apology but it was decent-i don’t want to make this into a thing and i don’t want you to be mad at him”

“How do you not want me to be mad at him?” 

“You don’t even know what he said”

“Oh, i’m sorry, did he said something nice?” she said faking innocence, Alex is not sure of what expression he made but it apparently was enough for her to say “don’t even try to lie to me, Herb heard what he said”

All Alex could reply was “What did Herb heard?” 

“Herb heard enough to be perturbed”

“What?” he said tilting his head confused “this is not a moment for rhymes”.

“Let’s just said that he heard enough to know that papi wasn’t there to get his dad of the year award” Elena said, that actually made him laugh “either way, i don’t need to hear whatever dad said, i already know what he said, the first time i came out to him, he laughed like if i was joking, no- that’s not the right way to say it, he laughed like-”. 

“Like you were nothing but a joke” it was like the memory of his dad laughing as soon as he said that he was in love with Tyler appeared again violently to stung him,he felt like his dad’s laughter was buzzing in his ear, mocking him right now and he wondered if Elena felt the way “i was so angry”.

“I was mostly sad, then confused and then actually angry when he said that i was way too young to know what i am talking about” Elena said laughing humorlessly.

“At first he thought that you and i made some sort of plan to test him or something like that” he said remembering the pain in his stomach, the dryness in his mouth and he could see his knuckles turning white as he said the next part “and then when he finally believed me, he said that if i still liked girls then why would i want to make my life more difficult by dating a guy”

Elena scoffed and shake her head like she couldn’t believe someone could disappoint her more but he had and he was sure that he was going to disappoint her even more with what he was going to say next. 

“now he thinks i’m dating Tyler to piss him off” when he explained that, he wanted to scream in frustration but somehow what it came out was an small sob.

Fuck.

“Oh, Alex” she said scooping him up and putting her arms around him and a part of him wanted to push her away until he calmed down, he didn’t want to cry in front of her sister, he didn’t, he just didn’t, he fucking hated it, he’ll rather cry in front of anyone else. 

“I’m fine” he said wanting to pull away from the hold she had on him but she held tighter and more determined. 

“You don’t have to pretend, i know what that it’s like” she says as she clears her throat like she was also on the verge of tears “You can cry, it’s okay”.

“But i don’t want to cry” he insisted, he hated it but he still lets his head rest on his sister shoulder, it used to be easier but after his second growth spurt he had become taller than her, now his neck hurted a little but he didn’t try to move either.

“They say that tears are good for the acne” Elena suggest as she holds him and pats his back. 

“Not to humble brag but then you should be the one crying, I have great cutis, i don’t need it” 

“Ugh, you are unbearable” she said finally letting him go but somehow that last part had helped him to let out a tear stained smile, she wiped his tears away from his face as they both smiled sadly at each other. “if it helps i hate this too”.

He doesn’t know if she means that she also hated crying like this or if she also hated to see him cry, maybe it’s a mixture of both but hearing that somehow managed to make everything inside of him soften and forget about how much he hated to his eyes red and tear-filled. 

“Hey, i have something for you” Elena said somewhat excited as she stood up and left him sitting in the couch,she was gone for a second and came back the next with a tub of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. 

“Comfort food, yay!” he said but it sounded weak and it made him want to groan. 

“We can also watch season 2 of elena of avalor” she offered smiling at him “or anything you are up for”. 

He waits a whole minute before saying what he wants but just for dramatic effect “Let’s start season 2”.

So they do and as they start to watch Elena training with Mateo and Zuzo for the test Quita Moz warned her about, the real Elena who is sitting next to him, tells him “hey, next time something like this happens, you know you can always talk to me about it”.

“I do, i just didn’t want you to fight with papi because of me”

“It wouldn’t be because of you, papi is an adult who is to blame for his own actions but if you don’t want me to talk to him i won’t” she said and he nodded feeling relieved as he snuggled in the couch closer to her.

He ate a couple of spoons full of ice cream as he watched the episode when he started to doze off, Elena realized that because she took the ice cream away from his arms so that he wouldn’t drop it, he was considering standing up and go to his room but the TV was still on and he didn’t want to move, Elena came back with a blanket and she settled next to him as she said “I got you”.

And as he settle his head on her shoulder, he felt safe and let himself fall asleep.


End file.
